


The Feeling Of Anticipation

by pxseas



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Down Character(s), Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Blow Jobs, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fraternities & Sororities, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Organized Crime, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overprotective, Slow Burn, side characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-07-20 10:49:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 107,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16135694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pxseas/pseuds/pxseas
Summary: Lee Taeyong was the head of the criminal underworld, his power completely undisputed. Well known amongst both other criminals, gang leaders, as well as the general public, Taeyong was one to be feared. No one could truly say they’d been an enemy of 'the' Lee Taeyong, and lived to tell the tale.So naturally, when your Father's reputation continues to precede you, friends were hard to come by for 18 year old Sicheng. A lonely life through high school lead to a desire for more freedom, the chance to live as a normal teenager for the first time ever in his life, possible only by embarking off to university.But will Sicheng find what he's looking for at college? Will Sicheng obtain the freedom he so desperately wants? Or, perhaps, is Sicheng in for more than he bargained for?





	1. the feeling of Excitement

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!
> 
> usually i'm a fan of writing one shot fics full of action and character death, but this has so far proven to be an enjoyable challenge for me!!
> 
> i hope you enjoy it!!

   Sicheng looked up at the towering university clock tower before him, biting his lip in curiosity. His hands clutched nervously around his suitcase handle for a slight moment, before relaxing once more. The 18 year old’s nerves were jumping around his body in a confusing concoction of anxiety and excitement. He’d been waiting for _so long_ to be enrolled within Seoul’s University of Performing Arts under the extremely coveted dance program. It was going to be his first taste at the real life of a young adult.  
  
   Of course, being the only son of South Korea’s most prominent criminal mastermind didn’t allow for Sicheng to have such a ‘normal’ upbringing.  
  
   Lee Taeyong was the head of the criminal underworld, his power completely undisputed. Well known amongst both other criminals, gang leaders, as well as the general public, Taeyong was one to be feared. No one could truly say they’d been an enemy of _the_ Lee Taeyong and lived to tell the tale. The power he could wield was extraordinary, and his omniscient aura was enough to turn even the most strongest willed of men into a quivering mess at his feet. Taeyong’s empire ranged from Busan in the south, to Seoul in the north, with it’s roots constantly expanding, even overseas. At his disposal were a special team of trusted accomplices, and a multitude of his own bodyguards and private soldiers, willing to do whatever he so wished at a moment’s notice. Taeyong had South Korea wrapped around his pinky finger, willing to do whatever he wanted, and with no one to challenge his rule of the criminal world, he was free to flaunt his power in whichever ways he so pleased. Whether that be a personal team of bodyguards, an unthinkably expensive mansion on the outskirts of Seoul, or dining out at 5 Michelin star restaurants every night, the choice was Taeyong’s. The mysterious thing about it is… no one really knows what Taeyong does to earn so much money. Not even Sicheng. The crimes his team commit can go unnoticed for years upon years, and by the time the authorities have deemed there’s no evidence left to trace back to his team, Taeyong has already bought a new yacht with the cash returns.  
  
   Yeah… Sicheng loved his Dad.  
  
   So, naturally, Taeyong was always a target by the jealous, or those who wanted to uproot his tight hold on the criminal underworld. This in turn meant that Sicheng, Taeyong’s only vulnerability, was a target as well. Throughout his childhood, Sicheng had grown up surrounded by tall, muscular men, promising his security. Taeyong was a nurturing Father, despite his otherwise cold and intimidating presence, but that didn’t mean he allowed Sicheng to run free. Quite the opposite. Sicheng was always under the watchful eye of several bodyguards, no matter where he was. It was ‘for Sicheng’s own safety’, Taeyong reasoned as Sicheng grew up and realized that being surrounded by a plentitude of frightening men dressed in black _wasn’t_ exactly the norm.  
  
   And that was the reason Sicheng was so excited for university. He reasoned with his Father successfully for a higher degree of freedom whilst he was living away from home, in dorms, nonetheless! And whilst Taeyong was incredibly hesitant, he eventually came around to the idea of sending him off to university, after seeing Sicheng’s desperate need for wanting friends, and a social life outside of chatting with the bodyguards when he walked past them in the hallways. Being the son of South Korea’s most feared criminal wasn’t exactly something that screamed ‘friend material’. And despite Taeyong’s otherwise fleeting presence due to the nature of the crimes his team commit, Sicheng’s Father’s reputation seemed to precede him, impacting on Sicheng’s social life too many times to be forgivable.  
  
   The hand on Sicheng’s shoulder tightened slightly, alerting him to his Father’s presence. He turned around and looked up ever so slightly at Taeyong. Taeyong was wearing a leisurely lilac shirt, with black trousers and designer brand shoes. His black hair was styled meticulously, the wind failing to make a dent in it’s gelled strands. Covering his face were a pair of dark sunglasses, protecting his eyes from curious onlookers.  
  
   Not that Taeyong was ever a sucker for the art of being subtle. Taeyong relished in the fact that he could flaunt his wealth as he pleased, with no one being able to question how he came into his money. He’d had Sicheng and himself driven here in their black Mercedes, followed by a convoy of 2 equally painted sports cars. Several suited men stood near the couple, some on the other side of the street, others on the university campus grass, standing like tall rocks in the stream of fresh university students arriving back to school.  
  
   “Winko,” Taeyong softly whispered.  
  
   “Yes?” the younger asked back, excitedly turning around to meet his shaded eyes.  
  
   Taeyong pursed his lips, before patting Sicheng’s shoulder roughly, using his arm to link around his son’s neck, pulling him into his chest for a hug. Sicheng let out a soft laugh, and returned the hug, Taeyong’s strong cologne assaulting his senses. One of his Father’s hands, the hand which initiated the hug, patted gently against Sicheng’s sweatshirt, whilst the other hand remained in his trouser pocket.  
  
   “Stay safe, darling.”  
  
   “I will,” Sicheng replied, smiling. Taeyong freed his son from the hug, clearing his throat slightly.  
  
   “Good. Study hard. If you ever get in trouble -“  
  
   “Then call _the_ number, I got it Dad,” Sicheng finished the older’s sentence in reassurance, smiling up at him.  
  
   “Okay.”  
  
   Taeyong’s cold expression was momentarily broken when Sicheng sprung up on his tiptoes and planted a soft kiss on his Father’s cheek. The criminal was known for his unbreaking poker face, able to manoeuvre any kind of situation with deceptive ease. But it was different when it came to his child, his _Winko_.  
  
   “Bye, Dad!” Sicheng smiled, taking his suitcase handle back into his hands and walking down the cobblestoned path, beneath the clock tower. The fresh air was filling Sicheng’s lungs, each breath he took filling his chest with the sweet taste of freedom. He loved Taeyong, he loved his life (for the most part), but he really needed this. Each step his trainers took on the university path seemed to be pumping a light, air-free feeling through Sicheng’s veins.  
  
   As he curiously gazed around himself as he looked at the university’s red-bricked buildings, accented with modern artsy sculptures made of glass and acrylic as well as faux potted plants, he wondered if this was what it was like to be a _normal_ 18 year old. Of course, Sicheng wasn’t completely separated from the extent of Taeyong’s protection. As he glanced back, he saw the 2 familiar figures standing out like sore thumbs amongst the throngs of university students. Johnny and Taeil.  
  
   They were Taeyong’s most trusted bodyguards, hence why they were the ones equipped with remaining near Sicheng throughout the course of his university life. Johnny and Taeil had practically seen Taeyong grow up from a baby right up until now, so they were cast into parental lights for the young adult. Not only were they bodyguards, but for Sicheng, they were also his only friends. Johnny’s background prior to becoming a bodyguard is unknown to Sicheng, yet despite his intimidating height and striking black hair, he was an incredibly cheerful man. And Taeil was equally as sweet to Sicheng, despite often playing the bad-cop role with Johnny when it came to telling Sicheng to eat his greens, or brush his teeth every night.  
  
   But it was good enough for Sicheng, to be able to walk amongst his peers with little to nothing separating him from the average 18 year old that would brush past his lithe figure.  
  
   Sicheng tentatively walked up to the steps of his dorm block, carrying his suitcase with both hands, enjoying the feeling of doing something for himself for once. Back home, it was very rare for Sicheng to do anything physical that wasn’t working out in the gym, as all the bodyguards would insist on helping him with whatever he was struggling with. But not anymore! Sicheng let out a proud gasp of air as he finished lifting the suitcase, trundling it through the double doors.  
  
   Just before him was a common area, with several blue couches decorating the room. The walls were a light yellow, and on the side of the room were several vending machines. Just around the corner was a small kitchenette. Sicheng liked cooking, he liked to cook meals for Father when he got home early in the morning from god knows where, but the kitchen seemed to be missing some appliances. Or maybe Sicheng’s kitchen just had too many appliances.  
  
   Either way, Sicheng took a right turn down a long corridor, with doors on either side. Once he’d ascended the flights of stairs until the second floor, he set his suitcase down with a small sigh. He was looking for room 26C, which according to the signs on the side of the dormitory hall, was just ahead of him. And with a satisfied smile on his face, Sicheng walked down the corridor, making sure to mind the student’s and parent’s bodies alike as everyone was settling into the neighbouring rooms.  
  
   He reached his own dormitory, the digits ‘26C’ hanging on in cheap black acrylic, the door already swung wide open. With tentative steps, Sicheng walked in, trundling his suit case behind him.  
  
   Sicheng gently cleared his throat.  
  
   “Hello,” he softly spoke to a figure on the left hand side of the room, who was busy carefully folding sweatshirts and placing them on his bed.  
  
   The boy, Sicheng’s roommate, turned around, the honey coloured hair flying across his vision. He had a round face, with bushy eyebrows accenting his forehead. Yet, despite his round cheeks, his jaw was defined. He looked very sweet, to Sicheng at least.  
  
   “Hello!” He smiled, bowing to Sicheng in greeting. The blonde boy followed suit, bowing in a similar fashion. “My name’s Kun.”  
  
   “I’m called Sicheng,” he smiled, standing awkwardly in the doorway. Sicheng was unknown to the social norms of university life. Should he just walk in? Start unpacking? He still wasn’t quite sure with where he stood with Kun, and his Father had taught him to always be slightly wary of strangers.  
  
   “Well, it’s nice to meet you Sicheng,” he softly said, noting the blonde boy’s awkward stance. “I take it this is your room too?”  
  
   “Yes! I think so!” Sicheng replied with too much energy, practically hopping on his feet from the prospect of getting to speak to another teenager who didn’t think he was weird. Well, not yet, anyway.  
  
   “Cool! Guess that means we’re roommates.”  
  
   Sicheng nodded, taking that as a suitable sign that it was okay to enter. He waddled into the room, and set his suitcase down beside the unused bed. The dormitory wasn’t too small, but when compared to the room Sicheng was used to back home, it seemed like a hovel. On either side of the room were 2 single beds, with Kun currently unpacking his stuff neatly on the one on the left. Sicheng correctly figured that meant the right hand side bed was his. On the wall before them, was a small window, overlooking the campus’ courtyard that Sicheng had just been walking on. Just at the bottom of Sicheng’s bed was a door, leading to the boy’s special ensuite, which came with the slightly pricier dorm room. Taeyong had insisted that if his only child was going to college, he may as well be living in _some_ sort of comfort, with the thought of Sicheng having to use the public bathrooms practically frightening the Father to death.  
  
   Sicheng looked at the wall on Kun’s side of the room. Several posters had already been stuck up, as well as some polaroids of several figures, the only one Sicheng recognizing was Kun himself.  
  
   Kun must have noticed Sicheng staring.  
  
   “Ah, sorry if you’re not a fan of K-pop,” Kun chuckled slightly awkwardly, turning his gaze to the posters as well. On the laminated sheet were several men posing in extravagant outfits, smiling to the camera. “These are my favourite group!” he animatedly pointed to one of the posters.  
  
   “Oh, cool,” Sicheng smiled, turning back to his own suitcase.  
  
   Kun paused, desperately trying to make some small talk. “Do you like any bands?”  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips.  
  
   “Not really.”  
  
   “Oh.”  
  
   Sicheng turned back to his suitcase, smiling to himself with (what he thought was) the easy conversation. Once he’d taken out all of his clothes, neatly folding them away in his chest of drawers, as well as his collection of trainers, a satisfied grin was slapped around his face. The 18 year old turned to his backpack, and began taking the textbooks he’d already bought, as well as the pastel coloured folders and stationary he believed would come in handy. Usually, Johnny or Taeil, sometimes both, would accompany Sicheng when he went shopping. Taeyong made it clear that they were to keep an eye on him, but Sicheng would very easily get lonely, and call them over. Johnny or Taeil, or sometimes both, would then walk over and keep Sicheng company, chiming in when Sicheng presented them with an option between 2 items. Taeil had practically _begged_ Sicheng to buy a set of erasers that were shaped like mice, once.  
  
   “So, what are you majoring in?” Kun spoke up from the other side of the room.  
  
   “Dance!” Sicheng smiled, sitting down on his bed once he’d pushed the suitcase beneath it. He rest his hands on his lap, sitting with his legs together. Kun was lounging on his bed, scrolling through his phone before looking up at Sicheng.  
  
   “Ooh – fancy! Isn’t that course really hard to get into?”  
  
   To be honest, Sicheng didn’t really know. Anything he wanted, he usually got, so he was unaware of whether the dance course was either incredibly competitive to get into, or whether it was just first come first serve. Maybe they just accepted anyone. Not that Sicheng would have any trouble with a competitive entry course anyway. Since he’d been learning to dance ever since he could walk, Sicheng was passionately devoted to the art form. If he wasn’t studying for school, or helping the servants out with their chores despite their constant insistences that it was okay, Sicheng would either be in his dance studio or in the gym, making sure to remain in fit condition. Studying dance at university seemed like the logical next step.  
  
   But in honesty, he just let Father sort out his application.  
  
   “Uh… I think so,” Sicheng smiled, nodding. Kun looked back at him kind of confused, yet Sicheng didn’t particularly notice.  
  
   “Right…”  
  
   “What are you majoring in?” the blonde boy smiled.  
  
   “Film making!” Kun cheerily smiled. “I want to shoot music videos one day, and meet loads of famous idols. I’m just like a glorified fanboy~” he laughed.  
  
   “That sounds so cool!” Sicheng smiled.  
  
   “Yeah. Hopefully it turns out okay.”  
  
   Sicheng returned a final smile, before getting more comfortable on his own bed. He stuck his hand into his jean pocket and whipped out his phone. The blonde boy was struggling to hide the smile that was lurking onto his face. It was so small, but if a few years ago you had told Sicheng that he’d be sitting in a dormitory with another teenager, and said teenager wasn’t too afraid to speak to him because of his Father, then he’d call you delusional. But it really was happening, and Sicheng was overjoyed with it.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   Unfortunately, Sicheng soon learnt that the enjoyment was short lived.  
  
   It had taken a few days, but eventually word had spread that Lee Taeyong’s son was attending the Seoul University of Performing Arts.  
  
   In fact, when Sicheng was scrolling through twitter whilst lying in bed on his 2 nd night, he actually saw a photo of himself and his Father taken by an ‘eyewitness’. He used his fingers to pinch the screen, looking at his own blonde hair and soft facial features.  
  
   Sicheng dismissed it. It was University, people had grown up now. Teenagers were much more rational thinking than the kids at school who would always run away from Sicheng whenever they saw him. Surely people would just treat him like a normal kid. Plus, what were the chances people would even of seen the photo of him standing next to – no, _hugging_ , South Korea’s most feared man.  
  
   Apparently, Sicheng underestimated how fast rumours could spread. That day, when he was walking from the dorm to the university grocery store, several people gasped when he passed them, pointing and sharing hushed whispers. It wasn’t anything Sicheng wasn’t used to, but it still made him feel uneasy.  
  
   _Luckily,_ Kun was an exception. It was Sicheng’s 3 rd day at University, and it was a sunny Friday. He was reading one of his dance theory textbooks in the afternoon, enjoying some soft music in his earphones whilst the sunlight was beaming through the window. Sicheng practically jumped out of his skin when Kun barrelled through the door, looking at his phone in shock. After the initial confusion, Kun had put the pieces together, and realised just exactly _who_ he was roommates with. And once he’d gotten over the initial anxiety, Kun slowly realised that he’d already been sharing a room with Sicheng for a while and wasn’t dead. Not yet, anyway. Not that Sicheng was a threat at all. In fact, Kun became oddly protective over his roommate, after seeing the true nature of him. Sicheng was thought to be just a dazed, confused, somewhat socially awkward boy, but no where did Kun believe that he was anything like a trained killer, unlike what the rumours were spreading.  
  
   So overall, Sicheng had been feeling a bit down as of late. A lot of false rumours had been spread about him, and the photos didn’t exactly help either. He didn’t like the feeling of people constantly watching him, even though that was the reality with Johnny and Taeil. In fact, Sicheng was hoping that university would be a complete 180 turn from high school, but it was proving to be a dreary return back to what he was used to. But just when Sicheng was at his lowest, Kun came through with an interesting proposition.  
  
   A _party._  
  
   Kun had just been walking through the dormitory, when some frat boy was handing out flyers for a party they were hosting on the coming Sunday, in a few days. The ever critic, he stuffed it into his pocket, but he thought it might be nice to take Sicheng, especially since he’d been a bit upset about everything. It might help him loosen up, after all.  
  
   So that’s where the pair were currently going. It was 09:00pm on the Sunday, and they were walking through the University courtyard on their way to the main street, in which it was a small walk through the neighbourhood before they reached the fraternity houses.  
  
   Sicheng was wearing a navy blue sweatshirt, and black ripped jeans, showing his pearlescent skin off ever so slightly. Over his sweatshirt, Sicheng was wearing a black jacket with a furry hood, that bobbed as the boys were walking over the uneven cobblestones. His blonde hair was slightly gelled in order to make a quiff at his hairline, which was both to look good and also to avoid any type of recognition from the photos circulating around campus. As well as this, Sicheng was wearing a shiny stud earring in his ear, as well as a black face mask, which successfully covered the lower half of his visage. Kun promised that if anyone asked why, then he could just say he had a cold but didn’t want to miss the prospect of a party.  
  
   Which, for the most part, was true. Apart from the part where Sicheng had a cold.  
  
   As for Kun, he was wearing some blue jeans and a nice black sweatshirt with some white writing on the chest. He was wearing a black puffer coat, and a pair of white trainers. Kun wasn’t looking forward to the party as much as Sicheng was, displayed by his spaced out sighs and looks of anxiety that would flash across his face every now and then, but the blonde boy was none the wiser.  
  
   “I’ve never been to a party before.”  
  
   Kun turned to the other in slight shock.  
  
   “Huh?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “No one’s ever invited me.”  
  
   “That sucks, Sicheng-ssi.”  
  
   The younger paused. “I guess,” his words were muffled by the mask, yet he was still audible. “But I’ve never been to one, so I don’t know if I even like them.”  
  
   Kun nodded. “You have a point,” he grinned slightly. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t really get invited to them either. Except it’s because people don’t like me.”  
  
   “I like you,” Sicheng pondered. “Why wouldn’t they invite you?”  
  
   “Dunno, to be honest. People can be awful.”  
  
   Sicheng nodded, looking down at the ground as they continued walking. They had began to walk over a large patch of grass. The pair didn’t really know where they were going, but other students seemed to be walking in the same direction, and if the loud music that was able to be heard from even here was a slight giveaway, then the boys could guess they were going the right way.  
  
   “Is this a good idea? We have classes tomorrow,” Sicheng wondered out loud. “Won’t people be hung over for their first day back?”  
  
   “Sicheng-ssi,” Kun laughed slightly. “These are frat boys. They’re as thick as two short planks. They don’t think that far ahead.”  
  
   The younger let out a slight laugh. “Oh.”  
  
   “Just don’t drink too much, and you’ll be fine.”  
  
   “And… you’re sure no one will recognize me?”  
  
   Kun nodded immediately. “Definitely. You look totally different. Honestly! Especially with the mask and the hair.”  
  
   Pleased with the response, Sicheng nodded. Kun was proving to be really sweet, and even if he wasn’t having the entire college experience like his peers, Kun was most definitely helping. This was the closest he’d ever been to someone his age, which was definitely something to be pleased about, for Sicheng at least.  
  
   After a few more minutes of walking, they reached a large town house among other residences. It was built with white bricks, unlike the other houses in the area which were built with red. There were 4 floors, Sicheng was counting by the rows of windows, which were decked with banners hanging from the outside. On the inside there were disco lights, and the sound of drunken laughter and chatting was piercing the otherwise silent night, as well as the loud thumping of music. Kun and Sicheng joined the crowd of students on the path that ran up the fraternity’s lawn, which was decorated with cheesy gnomes and pink flamingos.  
  
   They walked through the arching front door, making their way through the throngs of students. Kun lead Sicheng through the main hall, through the lounge and then eventually into the kitchen. Not many people were in the kitchen, but the buzz of the party was still in the air. Sicheng’s plan must have been working, as no one had taken any particular notice of him yet.  
  
   “So… this is it,” Kun chuckled slightly.  
  
   Sicheng nodded, looking around the kitchen. Various students were standing around, talking to one another, the occasional student moving in time to the blasting music that seemed to be making the walls vibrate.  
  
   “Should I get us a drink?”  
  
   Sicheng raised his palm in refusal, before pointing to his face mask. Kun nodded in understanding, before pointing back to the lounge in which they’d just walked through. “I’m gonna go get one for myself, I’ll be back,”  
  
   And so the blonde boy watched Kun walk into the crowd of students in the lounge. Sicheng was now standing by himself, leaning on a counter of this fraternity’s kitchen. Unsure of what to do with himself, he used his fingers to play with the hems of his sweatshirt. Usually he’d be relishing this freedom, being out this late on a Sunday of all days, but right now he just felt incredibly out of place, as though he didn’t belong here.  
  
   “You know, it’s kind of unusual to wear a face mask indoors. Especially at a frat party.”  
  
   Sicheng quickly turned around to the source of the voice.  
  
   Leaning on a counter with a red cup in his hand, was a boy, looking at Sicheng with analytical eyes. He has light brown hair, shaved neatly on the sides but running wild on top. The guy’s jaw was incredibly sharp, Sicheng wondered if he’d be able to cut glass with it. As well as this, the guy’s cheek bones were nicely defined, with a cute upturned nose. He was wearing a red sleeveless jersey, showing off his nicely, filled out arms, and a pair of black jeans. The boy’s hazel eyes felt like they were drilling into Sicheng’s soul, yet he didn’t feel intimidated. That being said, he had no idea how to respond to the proposed question.  
  
   “I… uh,” Sicheng stammered, gesticulating his hands for a response. _Crap_. What had Kun said again? That he had a cold?  
  
   The other boy clearly read Sicheng’s nervousness. “It’s just a joke, don’t worry,” he smiled, instantly putting Sicheng at ease. “I take it this is your first college party?” he said, waving his red cup around whilst speaking.  
  
   Sicheng tentatively nodded. The other boy smirked with a knowing smile, let out a soft ‘Ahh’.  
  
   “How did you know?” Sicheng asked, smiling beneath his mask at the other.  
  
   “Huh? I didn’t catch that.”  
  
   Sicheng softly laughed, before leaning forward. The other boy took the hint, and leaned forward as well, so Sicheng was right by his ear. Once he repeated his question slightly louder, they both leaned back to where they just were.  
  
   “Ah, you can kind of tell when someone’s not… yknow. ‘Feeling it’,” he laughed slightly. “The kitchen is where all the stragglers and the first years end up when they’re too socially awkward to actually talk to people. Not that that’s a bad thing, we’ve all been there, but yknow. You have a very…” he tried to finish his statement, waving his red cup in the air. “Innocent! You have a very innocent feeling about you. Like you’re a fish out of water.”  
  
   The blonde boy pursed his lips, and apologized beneath his mask, bowing slightly.  
  
   “No! No don’t apologize I didn’t mean it like that,” he laughed airily, putting his arms on Sicheng’s and helping straighten him up again. Sicheng was hoping that the combination of his mask and the dim lighting of the kitchen was enough to hide his growing blush from the slight contact. No one ever dared to touch Sicheng. “If anything, it’s kind of cute. You have really pretty eyes.”  
  
   Sicheng let out laugh, covering his mouth before realising he still had the mask on.  
  
   “No, seriously!” The boy laughed as well. “Seriously. I think your eyes are nice to look at. In fact,” he pointed at Sicheng, looking inquisitively. “Have I seen you anywhere before? You look kind of familiar.”  
  
   Instantly, Sicheng was shaking his head. He couldn’t lose the prospects of a proper conversation so quickly. If this guy knew that Sicheng was… _Sicheng_ , then he’d probably be scared off. But Sicheng was enjoying it, he was enjoying his company. He didn’t even know _his_ name, but this was most likely his best college experience so far.  
  
   “That’s weird. I feel like I’ve seen you before. It’s whatever though. Do you want to go have a drink with me?”  
  
   Sicheng froze.  
  
   The other boy immediately sensed his hesitant nature.  
  
   “You don’t have to drink anything if you don’t want to. You can just watch me drink! That sounds weird – I mean like,”  
  
   Sicheng wordlessly nodded, gently putting his fingers on the boy’s arm.  
  
   “Cool!” the other boy breathed. “It’s just this way,”  
  
   Sicheng followed the nameless boy through the corridor out of the kitchen. Kun might be confused as to his whereabouts, but right now, he’d rather spend his time with this attractive stranger. The blonde boy kept his eyes trained on the other’s red jersey as it winded through other students, before taking a turn and going up the stairs. He gestured for Sicheng to be careful when stepping over a passed out student, and it wasn’t long before they were on the 2 nd floor.  
  
   The music was quieter up here, yet the bass was still thumping in the walls. Less people were up here, with the main party taking place on the lower floors, resulting in a more pleasant atmosphere. However, with less people, Sicheng felt even more like he was sticking out. Luckily for him no one seemed to be paying any slight form of attention to him.  
  
   Apart from this brown haired boy.  
  
   “Do you know what I just realised,” he laughed, as the boy with the red jersey collapsed onto a couch. Luckily his red cup was empty by now, or else it would’ve spilled all over him. “I haven’t even told you my name.”  
  
   Sicheng politely took a seat on the other side of the couch to him, yet brought up his legs and sat cross legged, facing him. As the music was at a lower volume, Sicheng didn’t need to shout to be heard, for the first time that night.  
  
   “I’m called Sicheng, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”  
  
   Yuta looked, and then let out a loud laugh. The smile that was gracing his face was so gorgeous, and was brightening the entire room. Sicheng wished that he kept laughing for just a few more seconds, so he could memorize the sight.  
  
   “You’re so formal!” he laughed again, making eye contact once more with Sicheng once he’d finished doubling over with laughter. “I’m Yuta.”  
  
   _Yuta_.  
  
   Sicheng let the name roll off of his tongue beneath the mask quietly. It was a nice name.  
  
   “Sorry if I creeped you out, saying your eyes were pretty,” Yuta smiled, before looking down to his lap, his face blushing.  
  
   “No! No it’s okay,” Sicheng assured him, leaning forward and patting his knee. Both of them were sat cross legged on the couch, facing each other. It was a comfortable position. “You’ve been very nice to me. Thank you,” he muffled beneath the face mask.  
  
   “Aw, it’s not a problem,”  
  
   “You know,” Sicheng started. Yuta seemed slightly taken aback that Sicheng was starting the conversation off, probably shocked to not be hearing his own voice for a second. “This is actually the first party I’ve been to – ever.”  
  
   “You’re kidding.”  
  
   Sicheng shook his head, his lips turning into a large smile. If only Yuta could see it.  
  
   “Why not?”  
  
   “I wasn’t very uh.. popular, in high school. I’ve never even drank alcohol, either.”  
  
   Yuta’s jaw dropped. Had they been in a cartoon, Yuta’s mouth would completely of detached from his body. “What do you mean _not popular_? You seem really nice, so far anyway. First impressions count. I don’t see why people wouldn’t of liked you.”  
  
   Sicheng shrugged. “Kids are mean. I was really hoping university would be slightly different, but… it’s kind of been the same. No one’s really like… a friend, yet. Apart from my roommate, Kun-ssi.”  
  
   The light brown haired boy tutted slightly. “People are dickheads. You can’t judge a book by its cover. That’s just _nasty_. I’m sorry they did that to you.”  
  
   Sicheng’s heart felt like it had warmed up ever so slightly. He didn’t know what he was feeling in his stomach, in his chest, not yet, anyway. The words Yuta had spoken, despite only having known him for the better part of half an hour, really tapped into a part of Sicheng’s being. All his life, he’d been judged by his cover, by his _Father_. The fear that the name Lee Taeyong would rush into people’s bodies was enough to keep people clear of Lee Sicheng. But Yuta… he seemed different.  
  
   But would he be unlike everyone else, if Sicheng was to reveal his true identity?  
  
   It was painful to think about, but Sicheng didn’t really know. People would sometimes act friendly towards Sicheng, not knowing who he was related to, and it wouldn’t be long before they learnt the truth, in turn joining everyone else in staying away. But he really hoped that Yuta wouldn’t be like the rest.  
  
   “You know, you’re pretty cool for a first year. They’re usually pretty annoying… clingy, want to be friends with frat boys cause they want to escape the dorms by joining the society,” Yuta chuckled to himself, taking a swig of his red cup that he had refilled during the time that Sicheng was overanalysing his thoughts.  
  
   “You live here?” Sicheng asked, turning his gaze back to the room they were currently sat in.  
  
   “Yeah, it’s pretty nice. I’ve been in the frat since the end of first year.”  
  
   “What year are you in now?” the younger smiled, leaning forward inquisitively.  
  
   “Third. It’s my twenty first birthday soon, on the twenty sixth of October.”  
  
   “Oh!” Sicheng gasped, moving his hands to his mouth, clasping them together. He then leaned forward, his eyes showing the sign of a smile to the older. “My birthday is the twenty eighth of October!”  
  
   “No way!” Yuta chuckled. “That’s the closest I’ve ever been to someone else’s birthday,” he smiled.  
  
   Sicheng felt at ease. He physically felt his joints loosening, his breathing settle at a more reasonable pace. Yuta and Sicheng sat together for the rest of the night, making small talk, cracking jokes as moments passing turned into minutes, which managed to slip into hours without either of them noticing. Sicheng learnt all about Yuta, learning that he’s currently at college with a major in photography, as well as being on the team of several collegiate sports teams. Yuta learnt… a tiny bit more about Sicheng. The younger remained rather closed off, not wanting to reveal himself so willingly, but Yuta had put pieces together. He knew that the blonde boy came from a rather rich background, unlike himself. Yuta also learnt about his position on the dance course, despite its national reputation for being extremely coveted to gain a placement on. Sicheng was like a puzzle, and Yuta was gaining an ever increasing curiosity to solve him.  
  
   Eventually, once Yuta had finished telling a rather amusing story of how himself and his friends had found themselves locked inside the campus’ stadium overnight, Sicheng noticed the time.  
  
   “Oh gosh, it’s so late,” Sicheng gasped, standing up. The party had considerably died down by now, the music tiringly thumping through the walls still, yet the room remaining empty besides the 2 boys. “I really should be going now.”  
  
   “Agh, it was really nice to meet you,” Yuta smiled. He stood up as well and threw his hands into his pockets, maintaining eye contact with the younger.  
  
   Shaking away Yuta’s insistent eye contact, he looked away, rather flushed. “Uh I should… find my roommate,” he whispered. “I’m not sure where he is, though..”  
  
   “Ah, Sicheng, I know this place like the back of my hand. I’ll help find him!” He grinned, the power behind his smile partly powered the alcohol running rampant in his body.  
  
   “You don’t have to,” the younger whispered, turning to leave. Yet Yuta was there by his side, proving to be rather clingy himself, despite making it clear he wasn’t a fan of that kind of trait.  
  
   Sicheng found it… cute. If a bit hypocritical.  
  
   They decided to split up, Sicheng searching the ground floor, with Yuta being able to search the rest of the frat house. Sicheng had reached the bottom steps, and was met with an _awful_ smell. He scrunched up his nose, and was thankful for his face mask, despite having previously wanted to throw it away in the face of such good company. Sicheng turned a corner, walking into a large dining room. The table was littered with red cups on either side in triangle formations, the remnants of some sort of game, Sicheng guessed, yet the only people still here were either chatting in small circles, or belligerently walking around the room with bottle in hand. He gently walked past the circles, and walked into the kitchen once more. Besides some bodies on the floor, all of them breathing (thankfully), with some people kneeling next to them, the room was empty. Sicheng edged past the counter full of empty liquor bottles, and entered the lounge. A couple of boys were still drunkenly dancing in the middle of a circle of chairs and couches, but most people were sitting on either the floor of the aforementioned seats. And of those people, Sicheng spotted Kun.  
  
   “Kun-ssi,” Sicheng whispered, gently shaking his shoulder. Sluggishly, he turned around, and smiled. His eyes were droopy, but a big grin was plastered on his face. Kun’s sensible, dare Sicheng say up-tight, personality seemed to have dissipated, as he wrapped an arm around Sicheng’s waist from his seat and pulled him closer. The blonde boy grabbed onto the back of the couch, lest he be propelled onto Kun’s lap.  
  
   “Sicheng!” he slurred loudly, laughing slightly.  
  
   It all made sense. The empty bottles by his feet, the good company surrounding him, all in various states of consciousness. Kun was drunk. Sicheng didn’t know Kun well enough, to be fair, but he never thought that Kun would be the type to get wasted on a Sunday. In fact, a few hours ago, Kun was reprimanding frat boys for not thinking of the consequences of such actions.  
  
   “Kun-ssi,” he repeated. “I’m going to go back to the dorm, now,” he whispered. Sicheng was unsure of whether he should take Kun home or –  
  
   “No!” Kun shouted, laughing slightly, before wrapping another arm around Sicheng’s body, pulling him into an awkward hug. Sicheng uncomfortably stood in the hug, trying to get himself out of Kun’s surprisingly strong grip.  
  
   Just as Sicheng turned, he saw a figure standing outside of the window, the soft light of the light illuminating his face. His black hair and height was an instant give away as to who it was. _Johnny_. Seemingly having appeared out of nowhere, he put up a curious thumbs up from behind the glass, making eye contact with Sicheng.  
  
   It was as though Sicheng was in a completely different universe. A parallel Sicheng, who was merely just a fun loving, socially adept teenager, enjoying the life of the party with an attractive stranger all night. Not precious Sicheng, son of Lee Taeyong, the Sicheng who needed to be under constant surveillance. The sight of Johnny brought him back down to Earth. He wasn’t normal after all, no matter how he had felt at this party. If Sicheng so wanted, he could have Johnny run in at a moment’s notice and rip Kun off him.  
  
   Sicheng experienced a weird feeling, that was both a mix of frustration, yet also comforting. He wanted to be independent, but he appreciated the safety net protecting him from every decision he made.  
  
   The 18 year old let out a weak smile at Johnny, and gave a thumbs up. In an instant, Johnny side stepped out of the window’s view.  
  
   “Sicheng!” Someone called from the doorway, just as Sicheng had turned away from the sight of his bodyguard. In the doorway of the living room was Yuta, letting out a healing smile when he saw the sight of Sicheng in the arms of a much larger boy.  
  
   “This your roommate?” Yuta asked, walking over to the boys, careful not to stand on anyone.  
  
   The blonde boy nodded in response. In an instant, Yuta placed his hands on Kun’s forearms, and slipped them off of Sicheng’s slight figure, setting them back down on Kun’s lap.  
  
   “I think he’s drunk,” Sicheng noted, meeting Yuta’s hazel eyes. Instantly, the younger regretted it, turning away in a flustered manner.  
  
   “Yeah… no shit, Sherlock,” Yuta laughed, patting Sicheng’s back. “I think your friend here is better staying at the frat for the night. He’s not getting home like this.”  
  
   “Will he be okay on his own?”  
  
   Yuta nodded, smiling. “See these guys?” Yuta pointed to the men sitting around the lounge. “They also live here. They’re nice people, they’ll look after him if – no, _when,_ he throws up. It’d be too difficult to get him back to your dorm.”  
  
   Sicheng, satisfied with the answer, nodded slightly. “So, I guess I’ll be going,” he whispered.  
  
   “Alone?”  
  
   Sicheng had already walked to the doorway, before turning back to Yuta.  
  
   “Uh – yeah.”  
  
   The younger looked inquisitively at Yuta’s face, who was in turn looking back with a similar expression.  
  
   “But… it’s really late at night, there are dangerous people about,” Yuta stammered. “You can’t go alone.”  
  
   Sicheng stifled a giggle. In reality, he had 2 of his most trusted bodyguards on his heels wherever he went. In fact, Sicheng had a special number on his phone if, when called, sent a signal to every single bodyguard in the area, allowing them to track him with ease. But it was sweet that Yuta was looking out for him.  
  
   Again, a weird feeling quickly invaded Sicheng’s stomach, before fleeting once more. It wasn’t painful. If anything, it was quite pleasant. But he couldn’t explain it, and the unknown was deeply worrying to the 18 year old.  
  
   “I’ll be okay, honestly,” Sicheng smiled.  
  
   Yuta shook his head, walking over to the doorway. He then took a left, and opened a closet beneath the staircase. The light brown haired boy delved in, returning moments later with a navy blue puffer coat in his hands. Once he’d slipped it on, he closed the closet, before walking in front of Sicheng and opening the front door for him.  
  
   “Yuta, honestly, you don’t have to – “  
  
   Sicheng was cut off by Yuta walking out anyway. “I know I don’t. But I _want_ to.”  
  
   Yuta’s breath was fogging up in the crisp air of the night.  
  
   Rather reluctantly, yet relishing the opportunity to speak to him a tiny bit more, Sicheng stepped out, closing the door behind him. Yuta was waiting at the bottom of the lawn, which was now littered with red cups and bodies alike, his hands in his pockets.  
  
   “So which dorm are you staying in?” Yuta whispered, as the pair set off down the street.  
  
   “Uh – the one near the courtyard, near the clocktower, it’s got like… red bricks, and yknow… stuff…” Sicheng trailed off.  
  
   “Right…” Yuta laughed slightly. “I’m sure we’ll find it. Hopefully.”  
  
   “I know which one it is!” Sicheng defended himself, smiling beneath his mask.  
  
   “No no! I believe you. Sure I do.”  
  
   Sicheng let out a loud laugh as he playfully slapped Yuta’s coat arm. “You’d be surprised at how clever I am, you know.”  
  
   “Sure I would.”  
  
   “Why don’t you believe me!”  
  
   “Go on then,” Yuta smirked, checking both ways of the street before crossing. They’d reached a patch of grass, coloured a hue of dark orange in the dim light from the street lamp. Just ahead of them, past the grass, was the university campus. “Tell me something I don’t know.”  
  
   “Okay,” Sicheng slowed down, looking up at the night sky. He pursed his lips in thought.  
  
   Yuta laughed slightly. “I’m waiting~” he chimed.  
  
   “I’ve got it,” Sicheng clapped his hands gently. “Did you know that, one fourth of all bones in the human body are located in your feet?”  
  
   Yuta looked at Sicheng with a mischievous expression, a grin invading his face.  
  
   “Yep.”  
  
   “Stop lying – no you didn’t!” Sicheng instantly replied, laughing as he was walking away at a faster pace, crossing his arms in mock anger. Yuta ran to catch up with him, running just slightly ahead so he was walking backwards, yet maintaining eye contact.  
  
   “Tell me another one then,” Yuta teased.  
  
   Sicheng paused his thought, yet grinned. He watched Yuta train his hazel eyes on his, as though he was the only thing in the world.  
  
   “You’re about to walk into a tree.”  
  
   “What –“  
  
   Yuta let out a gasp as his back came into contact with a tree trunk, accompanied with the gentle sound of Sicheng’s giggles as he continued strolling towards the university, completely unphased by the older’s stumble onto the grass.  
  
   After a few moments, Yuta had regained his composure, running back to Sicheng’s side. “Okay, you got me,” he laughed slightly, his cheeks flushed red in embarrassment.  
  
   “So you admit I’m smart?”  
  
   “I thought you were smart from the moment I started speaking to you,” he laughed.  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips, praying and hoping the darkness of the night was enough to hide his rampant blush again. The familiar feeling in his stomach that had been creeping in throughout the party was back. Every time Sicheng glanced back to Yuta, the feeling intensified.  
  
   After a comfortable silence as the pair walked beneath the clocktower, they had reached the now empty courtyard. Sicheng directed Yuta in the direction of the dorm, both of them walking in together. Yuta let out a satisfied sound when the warmth from the dorm embraced his figure, the younger of the 2 finding it kind of…  
  
   Adorable?  
  
   Sicheng shook the thought out of his head. Yuta was probably straight, anyway. He was just being _friendly_. And Sicheng was _so_ desperate, that anyone who showed him any kind of emotion which wasn’t a sign of outright rudeness would probably be able to whisk him up off of his feet. So he didn’t want to fall for the first smiling frat boy that he comes across. He deserved better.  
  
   But Sicheng’s heart seemed to have other ideas.  
  
   “It’s just up here,” Sicheng whispered, ascending the stairs. Once they’d reached the 2 nd floor, Sicheng lead Yuta to his dorm room.  
  
   “So, this is where I drop you off?” Yuta smiled.  
  
   Sicheng nodded. Now that they were just standing still, in what was rather close proximity, Sicheng felt all flustered again. He averted his gaze once more under Yuta’s piercing hazel eyes.  
  
   “Thank you for walking me back. I appreciate it.”  
  
   “The pleasure was mine,” Yuta smirked. “Without me, you’d of probably walked into that tree…”  
  
   Sicheng let out a weird noise, a mixture of both a scoff and a laugh.  
  
   “I’m not kidding! Someone had to. I simply took one for the team,”  
  
   “Yes, you’re my knight in shining armour,” Sicheng joked, not thinking much of the simple statement. However, when his glance turned to Yuta, he seemed to have blushed red, grinning slightly.  
  
   “Hey, do you think it’d be weird if like… we exchanged numbers? You’re really cool,” Yuta whispered, rather uncertainly.  
  
   It was weird having the tables turned, with Yuta being anxious before Sicheng, despite having proudly displayed his confident persona all night.  
  
   Sicheng’s words came muffled from behind his face mask.  
  
   “No, that’d be nice,” he smiled towards Yuta, hoping the happiness was visible in his eyes.  
  
   Yuta whipped his phone out of his pocket, and handed it to Sicheng, allowing him to type the digits in. Once the younger had sent a quick text message, consisting of just a single emoji (a tree emoji, eliciting a slight laugh from Yuta), Yuta put the phone away.  
  
   “It was nice to meet you, Yuta…”  
  
   Sicheng hovered over an honorific.  
  
   Luckily, Yuta didn’t allow the silence to take too much time between them.  
  
   “Hyung. You can call me hyung. If you want,”  
  
   “Okay, Yuta hyung,” Sicheng smiled, laughing rather awkwardly. “Thank you for tonight. You made me feel normal.”  
  
   Yuta’s brow raised in confusion.  
  
   “I mean – Thank you for just, making me feel comfortable, that’s what I meant,” he saved.  
  
   “It was nothing. Honestly. I’ll make sure your roommate gets home safely. Have a good night, Sicheng,”  
  
   Sicheng nodded.  
  
   “You too.”  
  
   The younger’s eyes watched as Yuta strolled down the hall, exchanging one last look before he disappeared down the stairs. Sicheng gently pushed open the dorm door, before closing it.  
  
   He then slid down the door, letting out a shriek of excitement as he landed on the carpet of the dorm.  
  
   Maybe university really was for him after all.


	2. the feeling of Realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng attends his first dance class, Taeil and Johnny give Sicheng some useful advice, and a visit to the gym reveals much more than Sicheng had once thought about 'someone' in particular ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this fic is so enjoying to me, so here's another chapter!  
> i can't promise that all the chapters will be this long but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

   Sicheng’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of his 8am alarm, disrupting the early morning air of his dorm room. His fingers blindly felt around the bedside table, before successfully grasping onto his phone. A yawn ripped through Sicheng as he plucked the phone off of its charger, bringing it towards his hazy vision. After a few clicks and swipes, the noise ended, allowing Sicheng to let out a satisfying sigh as peace was restored once more. Sicheng just wanted a few more minutes beneath the covers, enjoying the warmth that was wrapped around his body. Turning his body, Sicheng shifted his weight so he was leaning on his arm, looking over towards the other side of the room.  
  
   No matter how sleep clogged Sicheng’s mind was, he still knew that Kun’s bed being empty was most likely a bad sign.  
  
   The blonde boy brought his phone back to his eyes. He quickly entered his code, and opened the text messaging app. Yuta’s was the most recent, as well as being 1 of 3 numbers he even had on his phone in the first place, the others being his Father’s and the number he should call if he’s ever in some sort of emergency. Sicheng couldn’t help but smile at seeing his name again.  
  
   So it wasn’t all a dream.  
  
   Nonetheless, Kun not being back was still worrying for the 18 year old. He opened up the chat message history with Yuta, letting out a slight giggle when his eyes gazed over the tree emoji that had previously been sent. Opening the keyboard, Sicheng began to type.  
  
   _‘Where’s Kun-ssi?’  
  
_    Putting his phone down on his pillow, Sicheng threw the grey covers off, void of his usual gentle handling of things. His feet made contact with the cold carpet, Sicheng raising his arms in a fierce stretch. The blonde boy was currently wearing a pair of black sports shorts and a red t-shirt, however as the colder mornings were approaching with the end of September, he’d most likely have to start wearing more layers to bed. Sicheng jumped up with a sudden burst of energy, before instantly regretting it, letting out a sluggish yawn as he stood in the middle of the empty room. He began his morning stretch routine, starting with the easier movements of spinning his arms and gently raising his legs, before moving to more advanced positions, such as lifting his leg so both of his limbs were in a perfectly vertical straight line –  
  
   Sicheng’s phone obnoxiously buzzing sent his head flying in its direction. The blonde boy let out a gasp as his focus was punctured, putting him off balance. He quickly grasped the foot of the bed, preventing him from landing face first on the ground. Sicheng blushed slightly, failure never sitting well with him, despite the fact that no one even saw him stumble. Regardless, Sicheng moved over to his pillow, taking the phone into his fingers.  
  
   _‘good morning to you too’_ , Yuta’s text read.  
  
   Shaking his head, Sicheng wanted to quickly respond. But… what could he say? Was Yuta finding him rude? Looking back, Sicheng was kind of rude to his hyung, with a curt message asking for the whereabouts of his roommate. The younger’s brain was going into override, overanalysing his possible responses. He wanted to explain himself, but he didn’t want to send a huge paragraph – he wanted to come across as cool, _normal_.  
  
   _‘Sorry. Just wondering where he is.’_  
  
   Perfect. Wait -  
  
   _‘Sorry. Just wondering where he is. ^.^’  
  
_    There! Sicheng happily clicked send, pleased with the result. Hopefully Yuta didn’t think he was too weird. The smiley face was there to show Sicheng was, yknow… chill! Or cool. Maybe ‘hip’? He didn’t really know. It just felt right to send. Before his thoughts began to accumulate in his mind, Sicheng was about to excuse himself for a shower. But his attention was torn by the phone’s buzzing once more.  
  
   It was a picture image. Sicheng had to pinch the screen to zoom in on the figure’s face. Yep. That was _definitely_ Kun. The same boy who had been so welcoming before hand was lying passed out on the fraternity’s couch.  
  
   _‘he’s been like this all night’_ , the caption read.  
  
   Sicheng was quick to reply. _‘Should I come pick him up?’  
  
_    _‘no, dw’_ Yuta’s message read in response. ‘ _Dw’?_ Sicheng wondered what that meant. He didn’t have enough time to wonder, as Yuta had replied again. _‘he’ll be hung over but he’ll just have to do the walk of shame, all freshies do it at some point’  
  
_    The younger nodded to himself. _‘Okay. Thanks!’_ he sent to Yuta. _  
  
_    He then opened his drawers, plucking out his clothes for the day, putting them in a small basket, resting his phone on top of the clothes. Sicheng then threw his pyjamas off, and walked into the ensuite, locking the door. He scrolled through his playlists, turning on a classical piece of music, before hopping in the shower. Sicheng turned the nozzle so the shower was assaulting him with cold jets of water, lashing against his body, but the blonde boy enjoyed it. He believed that it woke him up for the morning, as well as keeping his circulation fit and healthy. Apparently it was also good for your skin. Either way, Sicheng got over the initial shock of the freezing temperature, before fully dousing his lithe body beneath the water, running his hands through his blonde hair. Once he’d finished, he curtly dried himself off, as well as brushing his hair so it flopped neatly over his eyes. Still letting the music play, he put his phone on the edge of the sink, and dressed himself in a pair of blue jeans and a tight fitting white t-shirt.  
  
   When he picked up his phone once more, he let out a small gasp when he saw Yuta had sent another text. What more could he want? Not that Sicheng was complaining, judging by the speed of which he swiped open the message.  
  
   _‘did you enjoy yourself last night?’  
  
_    Sicheng smiled. He stood in the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom, typing out his message.  
  
   _‘Yeah ^.^ You were a very good host.’  
  
_    In the time that Sicheng had walked back into the dorm and began to pack his bag, full of both possible text books he might need, a packed lunch he’d bought yesterday morning as well as a change of gym clothes in case they were expected to change, Yuta had sent another text.  
  
   _‘well i don’t wanna brag…’  
  
_    Sicheng scoffed as he skimmed over the message. It was as though he could hear Yuta’s tone through the phone, imagining the way he’d hold the ‘brag’ and turn his eyes whilst pursing his lips in a humorous way. _‘Don’t get too big headed’_ Sicheng sent, eyes fixed to the phone. _‘You might fall over again’_. The younger smirked. He didn’t know if he was coming off as witty, or just rude, but Yuta seemed to be a lot more experienced with texting as a concept. He’d be able to work out Sicheng’s tone.  
  
   _‘LMFAO’_ was the response.  
  
   With a pleased smile, Sicheng slipped on his black jacket before whisking up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. Before leaving the dorm, he threw on his black face mask. He was already incredibly nervous over how his dance class would react to his presence, so he didn’t need the extra attention so early in the morning from other students that were walking around campus. Once he was out the door, Sicheng strolled to the entrance of the dormitory, the brisk September air greeting him as soon as he stepped out. A harsh wind was assaulting campus, resulting in Sicheng’s efforts at fixing his hair being for nothing. He was kind of early, with it only being half past 8 in the morning, but he judged that he’d be able to eat his breakfast bar and drag out the walk to the dance studio on the other side of the campus. Sicheng sauntered through the courtyard, with crowds of students walking through. Most of them had earphones plugged in, or were also wearing face masks, so Sicheng was enjoying the feeling of blending in. The 18 year old slung his hands in his pockets as he stepped over the cobblestones. When he reached the far side of the courtyard, the clocktower and his dormitory standing behind him, he was greeted with a large park. The early morning light, accompanied by the gentle fog that was floating just above the ground, illuminated the trees of the area, which stood taller than some of the surrounding buildings. Old, Victorian lamps decked the sides of the paths, as well as the occasional bench. It was a cute commute, and seemingly convenient seeing that Sicheng’s dance studio was at the other side of the park.  
  
   Once he’d ventured throughout the park, he was met with another courtyard, almost identical to the one in which he’d come from. The only distinguishing feature he noticed was that there was no clocktower, and more vegetation. It was pretty, yet the rushing students wasn’t particularly an easy sight on Sicheng’s eyes. After some gentle shoving, he made his way through the crowd, ending up on the other side. Sicheng then walked beneath a large archway, creating an alleyway in between 2 buildings. Creative streaks of colour were painted on the sides of the building, ranging from pictures, to slogans, to small characters. It was rather pretty, if not illegal.  
  
   Sicheng emerged back into the sunlight, presented with a large, red brick building before him. It had a curved roof, and several statues, that were all in perfect ballet poses, were dotted on the outer lawn. The dance school. _Perfect_. Sicheng felt like he was floating as he walked up it’s steps, his stomach doing flips in both nervousness and anticipation. Hopefully the dance students wouldn’t be too rude.  
  
   Yuta was cool, but Sicheng still wanted more friends.  
  
   The time was 08:53am, 7 minutes away from his class starting. His trainers squeaked on the pristine floor of the corridor. As his eyes looked around curiously, his gaze rested on the modern portraits of established dancers who have already graduated from this university, as well as the photos from recitals. In a neat line were class photos of every preceding year. Several faux plants decorated the side of the corridor, Sicheng gently running his fingers over their plastic leaves.  
  
   He ascended the flight of stairs at the end of the corridor, arriving on the 1 st floor. Just down another hallway, decorated in a tidy scheme much like the corridor Sicheng had just walked through, was an open door. Light was pouring out from within, as well as the sound of gentle laughter.  
  
   Sicheng’s stomach did a backflip. _Oh crap_. This is really happening. He didn’t even realise he was walking forward, until he’d entered the room.  
  
   The blonde boy tentatively stood in the doorway, looking at the group of 12 students, decked out in casual clothes such as himself. They were all sitting in a circle in the middle of the studio, talking and laughing as though they were already friends. Sicheng’s gentle presence in the doorway distracted a few of them, before in turn they all looked.  
  
   He stood whilst holding both of his hands. “I-Is this the dance course?” he tentatively whispered.  
  
   “What?” One of the girls called out. “We couldn’t hear that.”  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips. He discarded the face mask, holding it between his hands. After several members of the group gasped, before turning to the others to whisper to each other, Sicheng spoke up again. “Is this the dance course?”  
  
   The same girl nodded, rolling her eyes slightly. She then sat down with the other teenagers. Unknowing of what to do next, Sicheng slowly walked into the studio, knowing that every move he was taking was currently being analysed by all the other students. He slipped his backpack off and put it on the side of the room, not feeling welcome by the other teenagers. Sicheng slid down the wall, and began to play with his sleeves, looking at the others every now and then. The energy in the room had shifted, but it wasn’t so much fear, as it usually was. It seemed more spiteful. More _hateful_.  
  
   Eventually, the remaining 7 students walked into the studio, all receiving large cheers from the other students. The reception they were receiving was awfully contrasting to the one Sicheng was subject too. So much for first impressions. 1 by 1, they were told in hushed tones about the weird boy with blonde hair, each of them letting out their own signs of shock, and in some cases, disgust.  
  
   Sicheng checked his phone. The time was now exactly 9am.  
  
   Another man glided into the studio, as though he was walking on air. He was wearing a black turtleneck with matching colour jeans, with white shoes. As well as this, the man was wearing a baby blue scarf around his neck. He had dirty blonde hair that was slicked back with gel, as well as double slits in his left eyebrow. His lips were full, and his cheeks were round, whilst his body maintained an incredibly thin figure. The way he moved so elegantly suggested years of dance experience, as though he were about to take off for flight, like a beautiful dove.  
  
   “Right,” he spoke. His voice was soft, yet audible enough to echo around the studio. “I take it you’re all my twenty special students,” he smiled. The students all nodded animatedly. “Gather around, then.”  
  
   They all instantly stood up, and walked towards the professor. He waved his hand to guide them into a circle. But, by the time Sicheng had stood up and walked over softly, the circle was full. He tried to walk over to a gap, but instantly, the 2 students would shuffle towards each other, apologizing to the blonde boy for the lack of space. Eventually, with the entire class waiting for Sicheng to take a seat, he settled down on the outer side of the circle.  
  
   The professor looked at Sicheng, a flash of sympathy crossing his eyes.  
  
   “Okay! I’m professor Lee Taemin,” he smiled at the students, taking his time to observe each one of the teenagers. Taemin began to glide around the circle, eyeing up every student as best as he could. “Interesting. Very interesting,” he murmured. “Right. Let’s get right to it! You’re all experienced dancers. You wouldn’t be sat in this studio if you weren’t. _Trust_ me. But I want to get to know you all on a personal level. Dance is a teamwork sport, between the instructor, me,” he rest his palms on his chest, “And you,” he then slowly twirled as though he was skating, pointing at everyone. “So for your first assignment, I want you all to present to me a piece that you have prepared yourself. It can be any genre, as I expect you all to be proficient in _every_ single one of them. You’ll have… a week. A week to prepare your piece. And then, this time next week, you will all present them to the class and myself. I expect the pieces to be polished. As though they were worthy of a recital. _Nothing –“_ he clapped his hands dramatically, all the students jolting slightly. “Less. The piece itself must be a minimum of two minutes, but by all means, if you feel you can perform at the same standard for longer, then please. Be my guest. You won’t be graded, but remember,” Taemin’s eyes landed directly on Sicheng’s. A slight chill went through the 18 year old. “First impressions count. And some of you have a lot to prove already.”  
  
   The studio was silent. “Do you all understand?”  
  
   Instantly, the students began to nod feverishly, resulting in a smile from Taemin.  
  
   “Good. You may use this studio at any time, whether it be all day, all night, whenever. Dance is an art, and inspiration can come and go at any time, as fleeting as the wind. We must be prepared for that. There will be no lessons until this time next week, where we will have our… _showcase_ , of sorts,” he giggled. “How fun! Okay! Good luck practising. I expect you to use this entire hour productively.”  
  
   Without another word, Taemin glided out of the circle, promptly leaving the dance studio. After a moment of confusion from the students, they eventually all got their feet, and returned to small circles. Sicheng, his feelings riddled with anxiety, walked back over to his bag, and set his sights on the bar.  
  
   Digging into his pockets, Sicheng pulled out his earphones, calmly placing them in his ears. _Out of sight out of mind_ was Sicheng’s motto gained throughout high school. Once he’d began his stretches, he lost all thoughts about the others in the room, finding it easy to melt into the music, elaborate dances flashing in his head like a slideshow he couldn’t turn off.  
  
   This assignment had seemingly arrived at a perfect time. He’d be able to prove to the other students that he wasn’t just here on merit. No. Sicheng _deserved_ to be here just as much as they did.  
  
   And what better way than to show them?  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   It was a brisk Tuesday night, and Sicheng was browsing the dairy section of the on-campus grocery store. He was currently wearing a baby pink hoody, as well as a pair of athletic shorts, despite the cold weather. Sicheng was peering into the freezer, looking for a particular brand of ice cream that they always had in stock back home. He was feeling particularly homesick, especially after the cold reception he’d received from his class. Sicheng realised that he’d have to spend 4 years with them, and they didn’t like him nor respect him as a proper dancer. He overhead them whispering once during practise, when his song had just ended. They said that _‘Daddy had got him a placement’_ on the course, and that _‘Taemin will soon see the truth’_. He had already been feeling shit about university, and the nasty comments were just rubbing salt into Sicheng’s open wound. But in a sense, they were helping him with the fact that he was even more determined now to prove to the others, and in a sense _himself_ , that he deserved his placement on the course.  
  
   His eyes locked onto the bright yellow label of his brand of ice cream. Sicheng pulled on the freezer door, and then leaned up on his tip toes, wrapping his fingers around the freezing tub. Satisfied, he closed it with a sudden _clunk_.  
  
   When he turned around, there was a figure standing at the end of the aisle.  
  
   _Taeil_.  
  
   Smiling, Sicheng softly ran down the aisle, landing in Taeil’s outstretched arms.  
  
   “Hello Sichengie,” he whispered, tightening the hug around the 18 year old. As Sicheng grew up in the presence of his bodyguards just as much as he had with his own Father, they had a special place in his heart, just as Sicheng had a special place in theirs. “How are you doing?”  
  
   The blonde boy pursed his lips, leaving the hug.  
  
   “You don’t have to answer, I already know,” Taeil smiled, patting Sicheng’s arm. “You only eat that ice cream when you’re upset.”  
  
   “I don’t really want to talk about it,” Sicheng whispered, gently brushing past Taeil’s body and making his way through the convenience store, towards the counter. Taeil slowly followed him, hands in his black jeans. “Where’s Johnny hyung?” he quickly replied, looking around.  
  
   “He’s around.”  
  
   Sicheng smiled. “It’s weird seeing you two apart, but it’s nice to see you for once, Taeil hyung.”  
  
   The older laughed slightly. “Yes, we do tend to come like a package deal.”  
  
   Sicheng excused himself from the conversation as he reached the cashier. The man behind the till seemed to be incredibly tired, leaning on one of his hands with his eyes half shut. Luckily, he registered that Sicheng was patiently waiting, and took the ice cream from it’s place on the counter, quickly scanning it. Once Sicheng had handed over the note of money, and put the change back in his wallet, he took the tub into his hands and walked back to the entrance. Taeil had since disappeared, but he couldn’t of gotten far. He was a trained bodyguard in the art of stealth, yes, but he couldn’t just teleport.  
  
   “Let me take that,” Johnny said suddenly, taking the chilling container out of Sicheng’s smaller hands as soon as the cold night’s air met his figure. Sicheng wasn’t complaining though, despite the slight shock. It was already freezing outside, and holding something so cold would make Sicheng feel even worse than he already did.  
  
   The pair began to walk down the street in a comfortable silence. They were a mismatched pairing, with Johnny towering above Sicheng’s slender frame. Whilst Johnny was in all black, Sicheng was wearing bright pink and showing off his pale legs. Sicheng felt safe in his presence, though. Just the reminder that Taeil and Johnny were still looking out for him set him at ease. For the past days he’d been desperately wanting the freedom and independence that came with university life, but tonight all he wanted was the familiarity of home.  
  
   “So you don’t want to talk about it?” Johnny asked.  
  
   “About what?”  
  
   “Why you’re sad.”  
  
   “Who said I was sad?” Sicheng blatantly lied, scrunching his nose in brace of impact from Johnny’s words. Johnny and Taeil, after helping raise him, knew him like the back of their hands.  
  
   “I did,” Taeil’s voice whispered. Sicheng didn’t even realise that Taeil was now walking on his right side, the blonde boy effectively sandwiched in by his bodyguards.  
  
   “Well. I’m not.”  
  
   “Sichengie,” Johnny started. “It’s okay to be sad, or homesick, or both. You can talk to us about it –“  
  
   “But I don’t want to!” Sicheng whined. “I want to be able to talk about it with people my age! Like… real friends! But I don’t have any. That’s the problem,” his voice trailed off. The night was silent, and the street was empty. Had anyone else of heard, Sicheng would of felt immense embarrassment. But Taeil and Johnny always chose the exact right moments to appear. It was always when no one else would be able to even see them.  
  
   “You don’t have friends…?” Taeil wondered.  
  
   “Not really.”  
  
   “No, I’m sure you do,” Taeil continued. “Your roommate. Qian Kun.”  
  
   “How do you know his last name – did you _really_ research him?” Sicheng sighed, wondering as to _how_ (but mostly _why_ ) Taeil had bothered to look up Sicheng’s roommate. His whine had a sense of familiarity to it, as though this wasn’t the first time Sicheng had to reprimand Taeil for breaching people’s security.  
  
   “I did,” Johnny admitted. “We have to keep you safe,” he shrugged. “Can’t have you rooming with a serial killer.”  
  
   “Back to my point,” Taeil said, bringing the attention back to him. The trio turned a corner, and were now walking through a small park. It was empty apart from them, the paths illuminated by the ornate street lamps. “Kun is your friend. He’s looking out for you, you know. Even though he knows… your ‘family’,” Taeil sensitively said.  
  
   “Yeah. He is. And that other boy. Who you were texting –“ Johnny was cut off by the 18 year old once more.  
  
   “How did you know we texted?” Sicheng whined.  
  
   “Hey, hey, calm down,” Johnny started. “I didn’t tap your phone. I simply just saw you exchange numbers after that party.”  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips.  
  
   There was a slight pause as the boys continued to walk through the park.  
  
   “Was he nice to you?” Taeil asked.  
  
   Sicheng nodded.  
  
   “Then surely he’s your friend.”  
  
   “I – I suppose,” the youngest looked down to his feet. “But everyone in my dance class hates me.”  
  
   “Give me names,” Johnny growled. Sicheng laughed slightly, a smile ripping on both Taeil and Johnny’s faces at the positive reaction from the teenager. “Just give them time. You’re going to do really well in that assignment.”  
  
   “Yeah, you will,” Taeil added. “I remember when your Father gathered all of the security guys, and we all sat down and watched your cute little dance shows that you’d put on with your stuffed toys –“  
  
   Sicheng grimaced. “That’s an awful memory.”  
  
   “No, it’s sweet,” Johnny smiled. “You’d get so happy when we all clapped for you at the end.”  
  
   “Didn’t Father threaten to shoot you all if you _didn’t_ clap, though?” Sicheng smirked slightly.  
  
   Taeil and Johnny paused.  
  
   “That’s not the point, Sichengie –“  
  
   Sicheng let out a loud laugh.  
  
   Johnny continued to defend himself. “We all would’ve clapped anyway,” he stuttered. “All of the security forces adore you, me and Taeil hyung included. And you have a talent for dance, you know.”  
  
   Taeil chimed in once more. “Just think of all those kids’ reactions when you upstage them on Monday.”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “I suppose,” he whispered. “Thank you. I feel better now,” he smiled.  
  
   “Then that’s our mission complete,” Taeil grinned, smiling at Johnny.  
  
   “Oh, also!” Johnny quickly said. “Before we have to go, we just thought you should know that your Father misses you. We’re not _meant_ to tell you, but – we thought it would make you feel better.”  
  
   Johnny was right. It _did_ make Sicheng happier. He wasn’t the only one feeling homesick, he realised. For Taeyong, Sicheng was home in its entirety. This knowledge slowly seeped into Sicheng’s veins as though it were a drug, making its rounds around his body, gently lifting him up out of this mood he had slumped into.  
  
   “Thank you, truly,” Sicheng nodded. “I’ll do my best in the showcase.”  
  
   “We know you will, kiddo,” Taeil patted him gently on the back. Sicheng turned to smile at Johnny, but in the time that it’d taken for him to turn his head, Johnny’s absence became noticed. The younger let out a soft chuckle, and when he turned his head to the right, Taeil had since disappeared as well. It was their oldest tactic in the book. They always liked to distract Sicheng before making their unknown exit.  
  
   Even to this day, after living with them for 18 years, he didn’t know how they managed to make their presence unknown so quickly.  
  
   Sicheng shivered slightly, still having both of his hands stuffed within his pockets. It wasn’t much further to the dorm, thankfully. The clock tower was visible, showing the time as 11:42pm. As his trainers were walking over the uneven cobblestones, Sicheng’s mind turned to Johnny’s words. His friends. There was Kun, his roommate, more a friend over chance than actuality. Had Kun not been his roommate, he most likely wouldn’t of ended up being his friend. Kun only befriended Sicheng as he realised he was absolutely harmless, after sharing a room with him for a couple of days before learning. And then there was the enigma that was Yuta. The attractive boy that, sure, could be counted as a friend, but Yuta didn’t _know_ Sicheng. He hadn’t even seen the bottom half of Sicheng’s face. But Yuta told him on the night of the party that it was nasty to judge a book by it’s cover. Yuta’s personality would be put into perspective if he truly applies his words to Sicheng’s situation. No one really wanted to be a friend with the son of the mastermind of the largest crime syndicate in South Korea.  
  
   Sicheng was hopeful, though. Yuta seemed kind enough to follow through with his words.  
  
   But there was still the looming threat that Yuta would be too frightened to ever speak to Sicheng again. Perhaps Yuta had already heard the rumours, put 2 and 2 together, and was already avidly trying to avoid the blonde boy. He’d not sent any texts to him since Monday morning. It was a harsh, but realistic, idea. Sicheng was just coming up to his dorm’s courtyard when his mind began to wander about Yuta. He had a very chiselled jaw, and his sleeveless jersey left very little to the imagination. Now that Sicheng thought about it, Yuta was… _handsome_. That was the right word. He thought about Yuta’s smile, his shining aura that he possessed whenever he laughed. Sicheng’s thoughts wandered to Yuta’s lips, how full they seemed, what’d they feel like on his own –  
  
   The blonde boy let out a gasp as he walked into the building’s door.  
  
   Luckily, no one was around. Sicheng quickly opened the door and rushed up the stairs, hoping no one saw that. The 18 year old slowly began to digest what he’d just thought. This was the first time Sicheng had thought of someone his age in that way. Yuta’s lips – what on Earth was he thinking? Sicheng tried to shake the thought from his mind as he opened his dormitory door, trying his best to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach.  
  
   “Hey, you’re back late,” Kun noted, looking up from his laptop as Sicheng gently closed the door. The younger gave a short nod, before putting the ice cream on his bed side table.  
  
   “I was just practising my piece,” he whispered, sitting down on the bed and rushing his hands through his hair.  
  
   “Cool. I’m working on an assignment too,” the honey haired boy sighed. “My professor is such a dick. Right off the bat he was like ‘ _do an essay’_ and I nearly cried. Video producing is meant to be fun,” he sighed. Sicheng nodded, not really listening.  
  
   “That sucks – I’m going to take a shower,” the younger whispered. Sicheng didn’t want to come across as rude, fearing his uninterest was evident in his statement. Kun nodded, turning his attention back to his laptop. Sicheng loaded his pyjamas into his basket, locking the door behind him once he’d sauntered into the ensuite. He turned the nozzle of the shower, and then looked in the mirror. This time, he was going to have the shower at an excruciating heat. Turning away from the shower, Sicheng began to examine his own facial features. Gently, he ran his fingers down his own cheek, pouting his lips slightly, tentatively poking the soft flesh of his lips. Sicheng watched as he moved his jaw up, trying to see how sharply defined it was in comparison to Yuta’s. The blonde boy then stared into the mirror, trying to match the intense gaze Yuta called on so easily that made Sicheng feel weak in his knees.  
  
   He shook his head. Yuta was probably straight. Sicheng wished he could just stop thinking about him romantically, but after the thought which sent him stumbling into the front door, he couldn’t quite shake the feeling. The blonde boy hopped into the shower, washing off the day’s hard work of practise. Once he was properly washed, he jumped out and dried himself off, changing into his pyjamas that he’d brought in his small plastic basket. When he opened the bathroom door, the steam from the boiling shower escaped into the dorm room.  
  
   “You heading to sleep?” Kun asked, eyes remaining on his laptop.  
  
   Sicheng nodded, letting out a yawn. “Practise tired me out. Good luck with your essay,” he smiled at the other whilst getting into his bed on the other side of the room.  
  
   “Thanks buddy,” he smiled. “Sleep well.”  
  
   “You too,” Sicheng whispered, turning over in the bed so he was facing the wall.  
  
   As the sound of typing continued to be heard throughout the dorm room, Sicheng’s thoughts began to wander. Firstly, he began to think about his dance piece he was practising, and the menacing, if not slightly comforting, aura his professor, Taemin, had. Sicheng believed that Taemin wasn’t going to take any shit from anyone, which included the other students. As well as this, he had assured everyone that we were all talented dancers, which made Sicheng feel better about himself. But he also said, whilst looking Sicheng in the eyes, that some people had a lot to prove already. Taemin wasn’t lying, though. Sicheng did have a lot to prove. And he was more than willing to stand in front of his peers and perform his heart out to his special piece that he’d been working on since Monday. He’d practise more tomorrow, maybe go to the gym later in the week, and then possibly phone his Father, just see how he’s doing. Taeyong had destructive tendencies in which he wouldn’t be able to detach himself from work, and sometimes Sicheng had to purposefully tell him to go to sleep, or to eat something. He began to worry about his Father… hopefully everything was okay with him. Johnny and Taeil particularly noted that Sicheng was a massive reason as to why Taeyong had been more ‘softer’ towards the servants and the security at the mansion. Without Sicheng’s presence, he was worried that his Father may enter one of his mean streaks. The sound of typing from the other side of the room was somewhat therapeutic, Sicheng’s breathing beginning to equal out. Constant worrying as well as intense practising was enough to wear the poor boy out.  
  
   The last thing he thought of before falling into a dreamless sleep was the gentle yet piercing stare from, what Sicheng had decided was, his favourite pair of hazel eyes.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   Thursday rolled in faster than Sicheng had anticipated.  
  
   He was wearing a pair of black track pants with 3 white lines going down the side, decked with white trainers and a tight red t-shirt. His hair was sweaty thanks to the practise he had just finished. Sicheng found that none of the other students tended to practise at 7am, which was lucky for him, as he wanted to maintain little to no contact with his classmates until it came to Monday. Everything seemed to be balancing on how well Sicheng performed during Taemin’s showcase.  
  
   So much so, that Sicheng had been forgetting to keep to his daily routines. He was going to sleep much later, and seemed to be neglecting his usual schedule of going to the gym 3 times a week. And it was already Thursday, and he hadn’t even been once. Hoping to amend this, Sicheng was walking through the park from the dance studio, the early morning sun caressing his soft facial features. He was on his way to the gym, for which his Father had ever so lovingly purchased an entire year’s membership for his son. Taeyong wouldn’t care if Sicheng didn’t even use it once, the family had enough money to last them for a _long_ time, but that didn’t mean Sicheng willingly threw money away. If anything – he was quite frugal. He got his monthly allowance, but since he didn’t spend that much of it, it continued to accumulate, creating a healthy amount in his bank account.  
  
   The gym wasn’t too far away. Sicheng stuffed his hands within his jacket pockets, shivering gently against the early morning September air. He could see the angled roof in the distance, just through some of the leaves of the park’s trees. Thankfully, being taught by Taemin meant not having to attend classes for this week, as they were technically supposed to be working on their practical during both their free time. Which Sicheng was, obviously. But he enjoyed the leisurely pace that University seemed to be floating at. Other students, such as Kun, were already expected to be doing extra research in all of their free time. Sicheng sympathized, but deep down he was grateful he wasn’t being worked that hard.  
  
   Not yet anyway.  
  
   Sicheng checked both ways before crossing the street, arriving at the sliding double doors of the local gym. He stepped in, looking around at the sleek and modern furnishings. The gym seemed like it had been dipped in cans of blue, orange and white paint, with every single piece of furniture adhering to the same colour scheme. Now that Sicheng noticed it, the only furnishings in the lobby that weren’t a hue of the aforementioned colours were the potted plants on the reception desk and in the corners of the room, and the motivational posters and paintings hung on the walls. He approached the barriers, reading the instructions that were hanging on the wall just nearby.  
  
   Following the orders, Sicheng took his student ID out of his wallet, and hovered it above the scanner. He let out a small laugh when it successfully recognized Sicheng as a member, the barrier unlocking, allowing Sicheng to use his weight against the bars in order to push through. Wondering what to do first, Sicheng approached a large orange sign, with a number of arrows pointing in all sorts of different directions.  
  
   The pool was on the 1 st floor, whilst the cardio and strength sections were on the 2nd floor, followed by a café and dance studios on the 3rd. Usually, he’d rush towards the stairs and make it straight to the studios, but he’d already spent a morning dancing. In that department, he was spent. But Sicheng could still feel the dregs of energy in his core, practically begging to be used up. He began his ascent towards the 2nd floor, planning to spend around half an hour on the treadmills, and then perhaps go for a dip in the pool afterwards.  
  
   His trainers were squeaky on the recently cleaned gym stair case, judging by the bucket of water and mop that was resting against one of the steps. He flicked open his phone, just to check the time. 08:21am. Early enough that Sicheng would feel productive, but not too early in order to throw his entire schedule off balance. And, if Sicheng was lucky, hopefully no other students would be in the gym. He wasn’t really in the mood to be gawked at, pointed at or whispered about. All Sicheng needed was to spend an hour or so working out, maintaining his fit shape so his practical on Monday could be the best one yet.  
  
   He gently pushed on the doors of the 2nd floor. There were a few people around, but all of them seemed to be much too focused on their exercise rather than acknowledging Sicheng’s presence. After walking past several weight machines and dumbbell racks, Sicheng reached the treadmills. He had a choice; he could either choose the line of treadmills which looked out into the window, or the line of treadmills which pointed towards a mirror. For him, the choice was easy. He was never a fan of looking at himself anyway, years of people constantly staring at him and picking out his flaws not being the best confidence booster, let alone when he was all sweaty and tired. Sicheng dumped his gym bag by the treadmill, facing a large roof-to-ceiling window, already in his workout kit from dance practise earlier, and gently pressed down on the button.  
  
   Sicheng smiled as he could slowly begin to feel the burn rushing through his body as he began to push himself, tapping the ‘up’ arrow button even more, in order to increase the speed. The boy’s lithe muscles were beginning to feel the strain, Sicheng’s motivation keeping him running at the same pace. If it was hurting, it was working. He needed to keep in shape, so when he looked at the time and saw that 10 minutes had already passed of him running at this same speed, he grinned to himself. Within 20 minutes, He was audibly panting, a sheen of sweat lacing his forehead. A fierce smile was beginning to emerge on his face –  
  
   “Sicheng?”  
  
   It took a few moments for Sicheng to put the voice to the face. But on realisation of who it belonged to,  
  
   Sicheng flipped his head, eyes meeting Yuta’s hazel ones. The light brown haired boy was smiling, his palm raised in a wave, his eyes creasing slightly due to the smile he was wearing. He was wearing a black muscle tee, along with track pants with a white line running down the side. In his eyes was nothing but happiness, but in Sicheng’s, all he could return was terror.  
  
   The younger quickly lost his balance, collapsing onto the treadmill. In turn, he was sent propelling off of the machine, onto the hard wood floor of the gym. Yuta, who was leaning on one of the weight lifting machines, quickly ran over to the blonde boy’s figure on the floor.  
  
   “Shit – Sicheng!” He gasped, kneeling down next to the groaning 18 year old. “Are you okay?”  
  
   But Sicheng felt as though he was paralyzed. As he was looking into Yuta’s eyes, the pair dangerously close now that Yuta had gently put his hand beneath Sicheng’s head which was supporting him gently. The absence of a face mask, protecting Sicheng from any harsh judgement the older might pass, became _glaringly_ obvious as Yuta turned his eyes to Sicheng’s lips in curiosity. Sicheng was waiting for it – the gasp of shock, Yuta forcibly letting go of Sicheng’s head from his palm. The insults, the claims that Sicheng was deceptive for not revealing his true identity when they first met.  
  
   Unusually, it didn’t come.  
  
   “Sicheng…?” Yuta asked, tilting his head slightly in confusion due to the awkward silence that hung between them.  
  
   “Y-Yes! Yes I’m fine,” he nervously stammered, going to sit up. The older’s hand remained in it’s position, despite Sicheng having lifted his head off of it. Yuta backed away slightly, yet remained sitting beside him.  
  
   “That was a pretty nasty fall,” Yuta observed in a hushed voice, taking to his own feet. He outstretched his palm once he’d properly stood up. Tentatively, Sicheng took his own palm in it, cringing slightly as he remembered how sweaty he was, allowing himself to be pulled up by the older boy.  
  
   They stood in an awkward silence. Sicheng looked down at his feet as Yuta was analysing him with his eyes, folding his arms slightly. The sound of Sicheng’s treadmill still whirred away. Sicheng was unsure of how to feel. Yuta didn’t seem like he was disgusted, like he wanted to run as far away from Sicheng as he could. Instead, he just seemed slightly confused at Sicheng’s behaviour. But who could blame the 18 year old? He felt like a deer caught in headlights. Vulnerability never looked good on Sicheng, at least he thought it didn’t. Sicheng wanted to use his hands to shield his face, but the damage was already done. Yuta had now seen his entire identity. He was going to make the connection sooner or later of who Sicheng was related to, if not already, and the older was struggling in thinking of the easiest way to just walk away.  
  
   “Damn, what happened to the talkative Sicheng I met on Sunday?”  
  
   Sicheng turned his eyes up to meet Yuta’s. He had a grin on his face, much to Sicheng’s surprise.  
  
   “Huh?”  
  
   “I said –“  
  
   “No, I heard what you said,” Sicheng stuttered, using his palm to indicate Yuta should stop speaking. “It’s just… you’ve – you’ve seen my face,”  
  
   Yuta nodded slowly. “Uh huh.”  
  
   Sicheng winced slightly, having to force the words out. “And...?”  
  
   “And what? Are you begging for compliments?” A cheeky smile showed off his white teeth. “‘Cause if you are, then – ”  
  
   The younger pursed his lips. “That’s not what I meant – it’s just you’ve – why aren’t you – “  
  
   “Hey, relax,” Yuta said, laughing slightly. “Come on, get your stuff. Let’s go get a drink or something. You probably have concussion or something. You flew off of that treadmill like it was a scene out of a cartoon,” the light brown haired boy smirked. Sicheng still remained cautious, as though waiting for an impact. Yuta, ever the gentleman, walked over to Sicheng’s treadmill, turning it off and whisking up his bag for him. All Sicheng could do was follow Yuta as he lead him up to the 3 rd floor, into the deserted café, which was coloured in similar shades to the lobby. Yuta gently placed the younger’s duffel bag on a turquoise couch, before taking a seat on an orange couch just opposite. The blonde boy took unsteadily took the seat next to his duffel bag.  
  
   Sicheng was speechless. Did these actions mean Yuta didn’t hate him? Wasn’t afraid of him? Didn’t think he was going to kill him? This was probably the first time someone hadn’t instantly shown discomfort upon learning Sicheng’s identity.  
  
   The blonde boy felt like he had been called up for detention by the principle. On the other side of the coffee table sat Yuta; experienced, friendly, charming, _attractive_ , Yuta. He was man spreading, with his hands clasped together between his legs, leaning down slightly. In his looks were signs of intrigue, as he kept maintaining eye contact with the worried younger.  
  
   “Sicheng, are you sure you’re alright? You seem really on edge.”  
  
   The younger sighed ever so gently in response.  
  
   Yuta’s voice ripped into the silence. “I don’t get it. I’m confused. We were all friendly just a few days ago at the party, and now you see me and it’s as though you hate me, like you – “  
  
   “ _Like I hate you_?”  
  
   Yuta was taken aback by Sicheng’s sudden interruption.  
  
   “Do you know how many times people that were friendly with me one day soon learnt who I really was, and then ran away? Insulted me? Hurt me?”  
  
   “I – “  
  
   “No, you don’t. You’re normal. You fit in, Yuta. You’ve got a great social life. So _excuse me_ for being slightly on edge that you’re just going to – that you’re just going to hurt me! I don’t want to think I’ve made a friend just for you to abandon me when you see me without a face mask,” Sicheng let out. He instantly clamped his hands over his mouth, registering what he’d just said. Even if Yuta was willing to give Sicheng a chance, the younger was thinking that he’d just thrown any hope of that away without a single thought.  
  
   Yuta let out a short sigh.  
  
   “Sicheng, I know what you’re worried about. I _know,”_ he tried to stress, putting his hands on Sicheng’s bare knees. “But I’m not just someone that’s going to run away. That’s not my personality at all.”  
  
   The younger felt like he wanted to combust into an explosion of feelings he couldn’t explain. Ever so carefully, Sicheng opened his lips, beginning the formations of his next sentence.  
  
   “Do you know who my Father is?” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “Yes. I do.”  
  
   “Y-You do?” the younger gasped, his eyes widening in shock.  
  
   “Your Dad is Lee Taeyong, right?” Yuta asked, furrowing his brows.  
  
   _What?_ Sicheng’s entire universe seemed to have lost its rotation, instead collapsing into a stinking heap on the celestial floor. “You… you knew? For how long?”  
  
   Yuta nodded. “I think it was... halfway through the party on Sunday. You were telling me about high school, and it just kind of – clicked. Like, I already recognized you from that photo, but I thought, _nah_ , Taeyong’s kid wouldn’t be at a frat party. But when you started talking about how no one liked you, that it was your first party, how anxious you felt… it made sense. I connected the dots. And It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t anxious once I’d figured it out. Everyone knows what they’re getting into if they ever enter Taeyong’s world. But, Sicheng, there was something about you that just made me want to keep you company. For the whole night. You’re just a normal kid, it’s just these people don’t care about anything other than your reputation. And honestly, your reputation is probably the most unfortunate thing that is stuck to you. People are too quick to judge, including myself at times. I can _truly_ say that you deserve better. Because you do. And I hope you know that I think you’re just like me. The last thing I want to do is to wrongfully make assumptions about you, just because you’re this ‘untouchable’ boy because of your Dad.”  
  
   Sicheng was at a loss for words. He knew? He knew this _whole_ time?  
  
   “But,” Yuta leaned backwards into the couch, looking up for a moment. “You seemed _so, so_ scared. You still do,” he laughed slightly. “If I had told you I knew, I think you would of bolted out the door and never turned back.”  
  
   The blonde boy didn’t know why he had tears in his eyes. He let out a slight laugh, upon hearing Yuta’s soft tone. The fact that Yuta had kept him company for an entire night, as well as going so far to even text him the morning after. It sparked a small match of happiness within Sicheng’s being. Hell, he was even still here in the gym café with him.  
  
   “Once I heard your story, and all those struggles you’ve been through,” Yuta continued to explain, leaning forward once more. “It put it into perspective. When I heard the rumour, I didn’t think you’d be some kind of gun wielding brat, I just assumed you’d be like any of us. Just with a slightly more – _dangerous_ ,” he chuckled slightly, if a bit uneasily, “Father. I get that you’re uneasy, and that you don’t think anyone will ever be your friend. If I was in your position, I wouldn’t either. Trust me. But you don’t have to worry about me. I wasn’t lying when I said you were chill,” Yuta grinned.  
  
   “Oh, and I also wasn’t lying when I said you had gorgeous eyes.”  
  
   Sicheng let out a chuckle, wiping his tears away. He croakily began to speak.  
  
   “I’m so sorry that I ever doubted you, I just can’t tell if someone’s going to be cool about it because – they never have,” Sicheng whispered in response.  
  
   “Then you’re lucky to have me as a friend,” Yuta grinned, his smile protruding even more when Sicheng gave him one in return.  
  
   The blonde boy let out a relieved laugh. He hadn’t even realised that he was shaking. Still feeling slightly vulnerable, he took his gym bag and set it on his lap, acting as a cover of sorts. Yuta just let out an airy laugh upon seeing the action.  
  
   “So, _Lee Sicheng_ , are you going to kill me yet?” Yuta smiled.  
  
   After a slight pause, Sicheng turned his eyes to meet Yuta’s.  
  
   “Don’t tempt me,” he whispered in response, surprised at the sudden laugh that came from Yuta.  
  
   As Sicheng watched as Yuta was laughing before him, it felt like a fresh start. A cooling sensation ran through Sicheng’s body, as though he was being reborn into a more mature version of himself. Sicheng had a friend. It still hadn’t sunk in for the blonde boy that he had more than just his bodyguards to talk to. He felt like his entire attitude on university had been shifted due to this incredibly attractive light brown haired boy. But for some reason, Sicheng still felt uneasy around the older. The barrier’s regarding Sicheng’s trust hadn’t fallen completely just yet. He was internally confused at himself. Wasn’t this what he wanted? To be friends with Yuta? Or…  
  
   Was Sicheng feeling disappointed because deep down, he desired something _more_?  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments and kudos! i appreciate them all :)  
> my twitter is @orbityuta ! my dms are always open if you wanna chat about the fic or yknow ... about anything really, i can talk for a really long time  
> my curiouscat is https://curiouscat.me/george_uwu !!
> 
> and thank you so much for reading!!


	3. the feeling of Satisfaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning of Sicheng's dance showcase arrives, turning the blonde boy into a mess of nerves. And then later in the week, Sicheng and Kun take a trip into a coffee store as a quick escape from the torrential rain, only for the older of the pair to instantly regret his decision upon seeing the black haired boy behind the counter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's another chapter!! woo
> 
> honestly i'm suprised that my motivation for this is still here JNABHSDGDSA but we're rolling with it!!
> 
> i hope you enjoy it :)

   The wind was biting into Sicheng’s flesh as he walked across the park towards the dance studio.  
  
   Monday was finally here. _The_ Monday, in which Sicheng would have to present his dance piece that he’d choreographed all by himself to the entire class, including his professor, Lee Taemin. Monday had crashed down too fast for Sicheng’s liking, the blonde boy yearning for just a few more days in order to perfect the piece. Ever since that fateful Thursday last week at the gym, where Yuta shockingly revealed that he’d be his friend regardless of the criminal family that Sicheng had, his thoughts had been thrown off of track. Sicheng found his thoughts were beginning to become more clouded whenever he began to think about Yuta. Unsure of what to think, he’d spend far too long over analysing their relationship instead of focusing on the task at hand, and by the time he even realised what the time was, Sicheng was too off schedule and often had to delay his dance practise.  
  
   But he was determined. All of his practise and exercise hadn’t been for nothing, after all. Each step the 18 year old took during his walk towards the studio was sending wave after wave of anxiety through his lithe body. He’d even resorted to biting the inside of his cheek as some sort of coping mechanism, the bitter taste of blood invading his taste buds. Sicheng kept his eyes down on the ground, and kept his hands stuck in his coat pockets.  
  
   Whilst the past few days had been particularly difficult for Sicheng to concentrate, he was looking forward to the end of this assignment of sorts. No matter the outcome, at least this piece would be performed, and that would hopefully be the end of it.  
  
   Having crossed the road, Sicheng stepped up the familiar marble steps. This time last week he’d been riddled with nerves over how his class would respond to his presence. Yet, unfortunately, not much had changed, apart from the fact that this time Sicheng knew how they’d react. He already knew they didn’t like him, apparently for more reasons than once thought. All Sicheng wanted to do was make it clear to everyone that he was just as worthy as standing in Lee Taemin’s coveted presence than they were. The blonde boy looked at the sculptures once more, before turning the corner and walking up the flights of stairs. All that was heard through the corridor was the squeaking of Sicheng’s trainers and the hubbub of people from within the studio just up ahead. There was no hesitation in Sicheng’s steps this week, as he turned through the door way with relative ease. He already knew he wouldn’t be welcomed, so what was the point fretting over it?  
  
   Instead of the usual empty space that lay in the studio, it had been replaced by 21 black chairs, separated into 2 rows. They were all facing towards the middle of the room, where a series of stage lights had been set up, creating a brightly lit performance area. As Sicheng walked in, the other students who had already arrived earlier turned their attention to him for a brief moment before they returned to their tasks of setting up chairs, or doing last minute practise. Unphased, Sicheng walked past them, and set his bag at the end of the class room. He began with some simple stretches, struggling slightly due to the tension that was clinging to his body. By the time Sicheng had moved onto stretching his legs, which was a much easier task thanks to Sicheng’s natural flexibility, the last few students began to drabble in.  
  
   The blonde boy got back onto both feet for a moment, feeling ready for anything now that his limbs were feeling warmed up. Kneeling down to his bag, he pulled out his phone, and clicked the home button to check the time.  
  
   Sicheng’s eyes watched as the digits changed from 08:59 to 09:00am. Instantly, he heard the squeaking of shoes on the studio floor. The blonde boy turned around to see Taemin gliding through the students, wearing his signature black turtle neck. In his hands was a clipboard, with a biro pen stuck behind his ear. He bowed in greeting to the students as he passed them, before moving into the middle of the performance area. Wordlessly, everyone’s attention was hanging onto Taemin’s movements, the students abandoning their tasks and moving over to the centre of the studio. Sicheng stood at the side of the main crowd of students, playing with the sleeves of the light yellow sweatshirt he was wearing.  
  
   “I trust you’re all ready,” Taemin smiled, popping his hip slightly whilst folding his arms. “This is your first impression, so trying your best simply… isn’t enough. It must be perfect. You’ll now have a ten minute time slot to get changed. By ten past, I want everyone here in their outfits which they will perform in. When everyone is here, I will then call out names in no particular order. When you hear your name, you will come into our – makeshift stage,” Taemin smiled slightly, gesturing his hands to the area in which he was currently stood, “and perform!”  
  
   Taemin paused, waiting for any objections to his plan. “So, if there are no questions, then your time starts now. Off you go,” he said with one last smile, the students that had gathered before him instantly moving to their bags. Sicheng trailed behind, struggling to make his way through the crowd before kneeling down and whisking his bag up. He was the last student to leave the studio and into the corridor, following the stream of students down the hallway and around a corner.  
  
   Sicheng followed the boys, as the group of students before him split into their respective genders. He had to catch the door of the male changing room before it shut on him, pursing his lips at the absence of anyone to hold it open for him. Not that Sicheng was expecting them to, but he had at least assumed the other boys had _some_ manners. When he got in, he was pleased to note that the changing rooms didn’t smell _quite_ as bad as the ones at the gym, but it still had the distinctive smell of… _boy_. He creased his nose at it. The changing room had red lockers on either side of the long yet thin room. Running through the middle was a single bench. At the end of the changing room, just on the right, was a door to the bathroom and  showers. Just the thought of ever having to use those showers sent a shudder through Sicheng’s system. Carefully shifting himself past the other boys, he made his way to the end of the changing room, free of anybody else’s presence. He wrapped his fingers around a key that was sticking out of one of the free lockers, pulling the locker door open. Then, Sicheng turned to his backpack which he’d placed on the bench, pulling out his outfit for the showcase.  
  
   He let out a sigh. His eyes shifted towards the other boys, undressing without a care, slapping each other on the backs and laughing together. Sicheng wasn’t a prude. He wasn’t ashamed of his body. But the act of undressing to Sicheng meant becoming vulnerable, even if it was just for a few seconds.  
  
   Before Sicheng had even registered it, he’d taken his jeans off and put on the black tights he planned to perform in. He then pulled off his sweatshirt, folding it and gently placing it within the lockers. Sicheng didn’t usually feel self conscious about his body, he had a nicely toned yet lithe body, but when he looked at some of the other boys in the changing room, he wanted to cover his body with his hands in embarrassment. He quickly shook the thought out of his head. Sicheng had the elegant body that suited dance such as ballet, or tap. The other buys had more… _bulky_ attributes. Regardless, Sicheng then put his black top with a low cut neck on, locking his locker door shut once he’d put his bag inside.  
  
   Suddenly, whilst Sicheng had his back turned, the boys at the other side of the changing room all began loudly cheering and laughing, jumping up and down with their hands linked around their necks. To stop the awful feeling that had began to invade his senses, the feeling of not belonging, all Sicheng had to do was remember that he _wasn’t_ alone. He had Kun, he had Yuta. He didn’t need these boys. Yet that didn’t stop the pang of jealousy seeping into his veins.  
  
   Sicheng’s bare feet softly walked across the tiled floor, when a boy flew in front of him, apparently in jest with his friend. They were loudly chatting, and standing before the door. The blonde boy was going to try slip past one of them, but this idea vanished when one of the boys flew even further back, completely blocking the exit.  
  
   “Excuse me,” Sicheng softly whispered, hoping his irritation wasn’t clear in his voice. He was holding his hands by his side in a timid fashion, hoping that there wouldn’t be any confrontation. He knew that if things ever became physical, which thankfully they never had, then he had Johnny and Taeil to protect him. But his bodyguards could do nothing to protect Sicheng against spiteful words.  
  
   The pair continued speaking, completely snubbing Sicheng’s soft spoken voice. This was clearly noticed by the other boys in the changing room, whom when Sicheng turned his head to look at, found that they were laughing between themselves, trying to conceal the giggles wracking their bodies.  
  
   “Excuse me,” Sicheng spoke up this time.  
  
   The energy between the 2 boys changed at the drop of a coin. With a head of neat, ginger hair, the bulkiest of the boys turned his head, eventually making eye contact with Sicheng. The boy looked down at Sicheng, letting out a smirk when he crossed his incredibly muscled arms. He was wearing a, practically transparent, loose fitting white shirt, that was showing off a set of washboard abs beneath them. Had Sicheng not been feeling slightly confrontational, he would’ve just ran away, afraid of this muscular _man_ , not student, that stood in front of him. But Sicheng stood his ground, staring back.  
  
   “Oh, you have a voice?” he laughed slightly. A quick glance to his left caused the other boy to start laughing harder. Eventually, after a few moments, the other boys by the locker began to laugh as well. Sicheng pursed his lips, and folded his arms.  
  
   “Can you just – move out the way, please,” Sicheng whispered, the apparent bravado in his voice dissipating as quick as it had come.  
  
   “What are you gonna do?” he grinned. “ _Shoot me?_ Get _Daddy_ to send men after me?”  
  
   “Good one Hyung,” the black haired boy grinned, playfully slapping the hostile man’s arm.  
  
   Sicheng looked to the ground, letting out a weak sigh.  
  
   “Gonna _cry_?” the boy airily let out a laugh. “Who would’ve thought that _Lee Taeyong’s_ son would be such a fuckin’ softie. The rumours have got you all wrong… you’re nothing like what people think you are. So you know what – I’ll let you go. It’s not like you’ll ever be here again. After this showcase, Taemin sunbaenim will see that you’re not such a _talented_ dancer after all. Fuck – Taeyong probably paid for you to get on this course,” he barked, his tone full of a bitter hostility. His massive shoulder brushed past Sicheng, sending him off balance ever so slightly. Once he was out the way, Sicheng quickly pushed the door open, closing it behind him with slightly too much force.  
  
   The 18 year old let in a deep breath.  
  
   He clenched his fists, before exhaling and releasing the tension in his fists at the same pace.  
  
   _He’d be okay_. This wasn’t the first time Sicheng had faced confrontation. But then again, that didn’t mean he liked it.  
  
   Sicheng shook his head. He couldn’t let that dickhead invade his mind. Gritting his teeth, Sicheng closed his eyes, forcing the tears that had began to pool in his eyes to dissipate. All that boy had done, besides humiliate Sicheng, was create a new fire in his stomach. Sicheng converted his sadness into a brand new feeling – a feeling of _power_. With a new found determination, Sicheng glided down the corridor and turned the corner, confidently striding into the studio. Apart from 2 other girls, who turned quickly to look at Sicheng with anxiety before returning to their hushed conversation, the studio was mostly empty. Taemin was sitting on one of the front row chairs, flicking through pages, occasionally ticking boxes or writing signatures. Taking note of no one else, Sicheng took one of the edge most seats, intertwining his fingers on his lap.  
  
   A soft voice to Sicheng’s left pierced the still air of the dance studio.  
  
   “A-Are you okay?”  
  
   Still emotionally charged, Sicheng quickly turned to look at 1 of the 2 girls leaning forward over the seats, looking at him with traces of pity in her eyes.  
  
   “We heard him – Shownu – we heard him shout at you from when we were walking past the changing rooms? W-What happened?”  
  
   The curious girl had black hair with bangs covering her forehead. Her tips were died a navy blue, blending in nicely with, what Sicheng assumed was, her natural hair colour. She had a soft, elegant face, like a swan, with gorgeous eyes and bright red lips.  
  
   Sicheng cleared his throat slightly.  
  
   “It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before,” Sicheng whispered back, somewhat assuring the pair of girls behind him.  
  
   She pursed her lips, and sighed slightly. Her fingers were elegantly hovering above the chair in which she was leaning over, as though she was ready to pluck them away in a moment’s notice, fearing Sicheng’s actions.  
  
   “Don’t let him affect your performance,” she whispered. “Prove him wrong,” the black haired girl added on with a soft smile, before leaning back next to her friend.  
  
   “What’s your name?” Sicheng asked, looking at the girl with a curious look.  
  
   “Cheng Xiao. It’s nice to meet you, Lee Sicheng,” she smiled, her voice quavering slightly upon saying Sicheng’s full name.  
  
   Sicheng was just about to open his lips, when several loud boys sauntered into the room, laughing and joking with some of the female members of the class. Everyone was in their performance outfits, ranging from fluffy red tutus, crystals catching the fluorescent lighting and sending rays of light throughout the room, to the royal suit 1 of the boys was wearing, the lapel of the tuxedo being dotted with beautiful jewels. Sicheng felt underdressed, in his black tights and top, but he didn’t want them to focus on his outfit. He wanted them to focus on his performance.  
  
   Taemin stood up once he’d realized everyone was finally present, walking forward into the middle of the studio, the stage lights causing him to wince ever so slightly when he looked at the students.  
  
   “Let’s wait no longer. First up, is Kim Yugyeom. Everyone clap,” Taemin smiled, moving his hands together in a polite clap as Yugyeom, who Sicheng recognized as the black haired boy who was opposite ‘Shownu’ whilst they blocked the door, confidently stood up and walked into the lighting. All of a sudden, the room went dark, Yugyeom’s figure being completely illuminated. Taemin rushed back to his seat from the light switch, crossing his legs as he did so. “When you’re ready, I’ll play your music, and you take it from there.”  
  
   Once Yugyeom had nodded, Taemin read the sheet on his clipboard, presumably finding the music that the black haired boy had requested. And after a few moments of searching through his phone, a heavy bass began to sound from the bluetooth speakers dotted around the room. Sicheng watched in awe as Yugyeom let loose, displaying his skill at street dance for the rest of the class. Admittedly, Sicheng wasn’t completely paying attention, instead focusing on fiddling with his fingers as they rest on his lap, his mind distracting him with the prospect of performing in front of everyone. A week ago, it seemed completely do-able, but now, when Sicheng was actually in the studio, everyone expectantly watching Yugyeom perform, the thought of _actually_ dancing for everyone made Sicheng’s mouth feel ridiculously dry. Yugyeom was performing incredibly well, taking to the spotlight like a fish does to water. It was slightly intimidating, but Sicheng was reminded of his true personality that he had shown in the changing room. All that Yugyeom had shown was his follower-like attitude towards Shownu, not this fierce, intimidating persona he was presenting to the class. But what happened behind closed doors didn’t matter to Taemin, he supposed. The 2 minutes eventually came to an end, with Yugyeom bowing and being greeted by a group of cheering boys on the other side of the chairs.  
  
   Sicheng thought he might let out a nervous laugh when he saw Taemin’s purse of the lips in annoyance.  
  
   The next student to be called up was a girl called Kang Seulgi. She had long, black hair, that was styled in a high ponytail. In her hair was a beautiful, deep red coloured broach that was shaped in the design of roses. She was wearing a poofy red tutu, with gold accents running along its thread, matching the golden pearl earrings she was wearing. Seulgi smiled, and bowed to the students, nodding to Taemin to start her piece. Much like Sicheng, Seulgi was also focusing on ballet for her routine. Her performance was beautiful, and Sicheng’s eyes were fixed on her gorgeous figure as she slid around the performance area. After Seulgi’s performance, the next performances began to blend into one, with the notable ones being Cheng Xiao’s incredible flexibility being demonstrated, and Kwon Soonyoung’s precise movements capturing everyone’s attention as though it was what the boy was born to do.  
  
   But Sicheng’s being turned to ice, when the next student was called.  
  
   “Next up, is Lee Sicheng.”  
  
   Instantly, everyone began to whisper amongst themselves. Sicheng’s vulnerability had seemingly been washed away, as when he stood up, a freezing aura was emitted from him, as he gracefully walked from his seat towards the area, into the spotlight. As the lights were illuminating Sicheng’s figure, the students were eyeing his figure up and down as though he were nothing more than an animal, who was being prepared for slaughter. Taemin’s eyes lingered over Sicheng’s pose, and then back to his face.  
  
   Sicheng gently nodded his head, the room falling silent.  
  
   As the first notes of the music began, Sicheng felt as though he was having an outer body experience, feeling like he was still sat on his chair, watching this being bounce elegantly across the studio. His limbs felt fluid, moving in precise time with the music, the advanced poses feeling as though they were nothing short of second nature. Had there not been a soundtrack to Sicheng’s dance, you would have been able to hear a pin drop thanks to the shocked expressions his classmates had donned shortly after Sicheng had began moving. Acting as though he were performing in front of a million people, Sicheng managed to pirouette and plie as though it were nothing, the adrenaline and satisfaction, combined with his emotionally charged state from the confrontation he experienced earlier were exploding as one within his body as he conveyed true art in the form of movement to his peers. On Sicheng’s face was a gentle smile. He knew _exactly_ what effect he was having on the people watching him.  
  
   The song ended, Sicheng’s 2 minutes coming to a close. Everyone was silent, besides Sicheng’s soft breathing.  
  
   Taking the hint, he bowed to the students and Taemin, before walking back to his seat accompanied with the sound of a scattered applause.  
  
   As the next student was called up, all Sicheng could think about was the shocked – _disgusted_ even, look that was smeared across Shownu’s face. The smirk that was creeping onto Sicheng’s face spoke so much for his mood as he watched the next student perform before everyone. Sicheng’s mark had been made, people now knew the true extent to Sicheng’s talent. He didn’t get here because of his Father.  
  
   He _deserved_ to be here.  
  
   And he’d just successfully proven the rumours to be full of shit.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   October rolled around later that week, bringing with it chilling winds and an onslaught of rain. Sicheng was resting his head on his palm whilst his eyes were gazing out of the library window. It was a cold Thursday night, the last time Sicheng checked his phone it was around 10pm, and the rain was creating a rather moody atmosphere. Sicheng was wearing a black oversized sweatshirt with a white colour block line running through the middle of it, as well as black jeans and white all star trainers. Sat opposite him was Kun, who had his head deep in a textbook, momentarily looking up to type something on his laptop. In front of Sicheng was an open textbook, illustrating the rich history of ballet, but his attention had been washed away with the autumnal rain.  
  
   The window the pair were currently sat besides was coated in rain drops, sliding down the panes, making the view of the university’s lawn rather difficult to see. Path ways and benches that were gently lit by the soft, orange glow of street lights sat isolated in the stormy weather, making Sicheng appreciate the warm library he was currently sat in.  
  
   Sicheng jumped at the sound of Kun suddenly slamming his textbook shut, letting out a defeated sigh. He turned upwards to look at Sicheng’s worried glance that he was casting towards the older boy.  
  
   “Sorry, it’s just – fuck, this is so _boring_ ,” Kun sighed, moving his head into his hands. “I’ll just do the rest tomorrow.”  
  
   The younger shifted his body, so he was fully facing Kun, and not looking out the window.  
  
   “It’s late, hyung. You’re bound to not care about much when you’re already tired,” the blonde boy tried to comfort.  
  
   “I just… I was expecting video producing to be a lot more _doing_ , but all I have been doing is reading and writing essays,” he sighed once more. “And it’s only the second week of college, yet I’m already so down about, like – everything.”  
  
   Sicheng stood up from the table, closing his textbook gently. “Let’s just go back to the dorm, once you’ve slept on it you’ll feel better. Trust me,” he smiled, opening the zip of his bright yellow backpack and dropping the text book inside it.  
  
   Kun took to his feet too, begrudgingly shoving the book within his backpack and throwing his coat on. In one swift movement, Sicheng had pushed his chair back under the table. Once he’d put his own coat and backpack on, he walked side by side with Kun to the end of the room. On either side of them were bookcases, and little nooks that were perfect for quiet studying hidden within the plethora of couches and coffee tables, as well as larger tables which were lined with computers. Windows were decorating each wall, displaying the dismal state outside. Looking up, Sicheng could hear the rain patter against the glass panes on the roof, seeing the dark night sky staring back at him. The pair turned a corner and walked down a large flight of stairs, before walking past the reception desk on the ground floor. They then walked through the large open space of the lobby, grimacing when they reached the glass front doors, forced to come face to face with the awful weather.  
  
   “We’ll be fine,” Kun grimaced. The pair had since come to a pause before the doors, peering outside with faces of disdain. “If we just – fucking _sprint,_ we might not get that wet,”  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips. “Whatever. It’s not like we’re seeing anyone for the rest of the day, so who cares if we look a mess?”  
  
   Kun nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go with that.”  
  
   Without any warning, Kun pushed the doors open, practically flying down the library steps. Sicheng was hot on his heels, running after him. Sheets of rain were lashing down against their bodies as they sprinted across the university lawn, the pair of them barely being able to see more than a few metres in front of them due to the darkness that had encapsulated the campus. Sicheng’s blonde hair was sticking to his forehead, whilst his black coat was quickly becoming iridescent as the water that was soaking it was casting light everywhere from the overhead street lights. They began to laugh, despite feeling an intense chilling feeling snake itself around their bodies as the sound of splashing puddles filled the night air. Sicheng was grinning, the adrenaline that was coursing through his veins causing him to forget about the cold, about the horrible feeling of his drenched clothes sticking to his body. The university library’s lawn eventually turned into a residential street, Kun and Sicheng making sure to not run into any lamp posts or benches that lined the side walk. Eventually, Kun came to a stop, letting out a loud laugh that echoed around the bus shelter he was standing under. Sicheng barrelled into the bus stop, Kun having to catch him in order to save him from running straight into the glass.  
  
   “There’s – there’s a coffee shop,” Kun breathed, laughing between his weak attempts at speech. The honey coloured hair was kneeling down, catching his breath. Sicheng was in a similar state, yet due to his major and how often he went to the gym, he was in much fitter condition than his hyung. “It’s just – there,” he pointed across the street. In the cluster of town houses sat a small coffee shop, the warm glow that spilled from its windows appealing to the soaked boys.  
  
   “Hyung, I’m not sure… shouldn’t we just go back now?” Sicheng shivered slightly. “I’m freezing and we look _awful_. Can’t we just do the final sprint?”  
  
   Kun pouted, and then put on a hyper high pitch voice. “ _But I want a coffee!”_ he squeaked, putting his fingers on his puffed up cheeks and looking at Sicheng with a fluttering eyelashes. Retching at the ‘cuteness’, Sicheng cringed before dutifully nodding. The pair then quickly ran across the street, regaining their timid personalities before they walked through the door.  
  
   The warmth from the café took effect on the boys instantly. Sure, it didn’t save their hair or their clothes, but they were pleasantly greeted with the atmosphere within the store. There were several tables dotted around the store front, with small potted plants in the middle of each of them. Lining the window was a counter with stools for sitting on and being able to watch life outside pass by. On the walls were photographs of the university, and Seoul’s inner city, as well as some more abstract pieces. Playing from the radio was a soft ballad from a melodic voice. Further into the store was the main counter, with various delicacies on display behind a glass case, whilst chalk boards hung precariously above the counter with coffee names and prices displayed neatly. A boy stood behind the counter, with a head of short black hair, and a slim figure. He was wearing a green apron, with a black shirt and jeans on beneath that. Apparently unaware to their presence, he was on his phone, scrolling aimlessly whilst his eyes drooped. Besides the 3 boys, there was no one else in the café.  
  
   Must be awful having to work a graveyard shift.  
  
   “Lets go order, then,” Sicheng briskly said, taking the lead for once. He swerved through the tables and chairs, before walking before the till.  
  
   “Oh, hey,” the black haired boy smiled from behind the counter. On the chest of his apron was a bright silver name tag, with the word _‘Ten’_ scrawled on in black marker. _Like the number?_ Momentarily confused, Sicheng just smiled, nodding in greeting to the boy.  
  
   “Do I know you?” he quickly said, before Sicheng had a chance to place his order.  
  
   “Uhh…” Sicheng whispered, suddenly reminded of his reality. He was _the_ Lee Sicheng, smacked with the reality that he couldn’t just run carefree through the streets in the rain like a normal teenager. Unfortunately, he felt as though he had an image to maintain, when he had done nothing to deserve such a burden. “I don’t think – “  
  
   “Oh! You’re Yuta’s friend!” he gasped, clapping his hands together. He then let out a cute laugh at Sicheng’s expression. “Yeah! That’s how I know you.”  
  
   Sicheng smiled when he heard ‘Yuta’s Friend’, despite feeling slightly unsatisfied deep in his stomach. How did this boy know him from _Yuta?_ Was there the possibility that Yuta had been talking about him?  
  
   Hopefully, Yuta hadn’t been too incriminating whilst talking about his new blonde friend. But Sicheng trusted Yuta, somewhat. The 18 year old was a good judge of character, and he simply couldn’t imagine Yuta ever reinforcing false rumours. Not after last Thursday.  
  
   “Yeah, we’re friends,” Sicheng nodded.  
  
   “What’s your name again?” this ‘Ten’ began to stutter, gesticulating his hands in a circle trying to think of something. “Si… Si…”  
  
   “ _Sicheng_ ,” the blonde boy slowly said.  
  
   Ten slowly let out a gasp. “Oh shit – you’re Taeyong’s kid aren’t you! Lee Taeyong!” suddenly, the black haired boy began looking through the coffee store as though he had just summoned the devil.  
  
   All Sicheng could do was nod, despite feeling disappointed deep down. Ten didn’t know him because he was Yuta’s friend, he knew him because –  
  
   “Yuta talks about you _all_ the time.”  
  
   _Wait, what?_ Sicheng’s suspicions were true. _  
  
_    “He does?” Sicheng asked, clearly shocked, yet a pleasant feeling was beginning to spread around his stomach.  
  
   “Yeah. It’s kind of annoying, actually. But it’s whatever,” suddenly, Ten’s attitude shifted. He leaned over the counter and pointed his finger at Sicheng’s nose. “ _Don’t_ tell him I told you that.”  
  
   Sicheng quickly nodded, intimidated by the energetic barista.  
  
   “Then we’re cool!” he grinned. “What would you like to order?”  
  
   The blonde boy put his finger on his lip, and browsed the chalk boards that hung above. Eventually, Sicheng decided on a nice and simple vanilla latte, with Ten scrawling it down on his notepad insisting that he’d simply forget if he had it any other way. But when it was Kun’s turn to order, the energy in the store suddenly shifted. The usually pleasant honey coloured hair boy had folded his arms, and was avoiding all chances of eye contact with Ten. In fact, when Sicheng turned to Ten, the older’s breath seemed to be hitched. Ten’s hand went to his hair, running his hand through it and messing it up slightly. Awkwardly, he stammered whilst asking Kun for his order.  
  
   Sicheng let out a sigh when Kun said he didn’t want anything. Regardless, Sicheng paid and thanked Ten, before moving through the café to find a seat. Kun was on Sicheng’s heels, and the pair sat on the stools by the window, a fair distance from the counter.  
  
   “If you didn’t even want a coffee, why the hell did we even come here?” Sicheng whispered, irritation clear in his voice. He _clearly_ stated that he just wanted to get back to the dorm, have a shower and go to sleep. But thanks to Kun, they were in this coffee shop, but now he was acting as though he’d rather be literally anywhere else _but_ here.  
  
   “Listen – I just… I just changed my mind.”  
  
   Kun was sat looking very uncomfortable, and sure, maybe it was because his hair was completely drenched, and his coat was shining with the evidence of the heavy rain that was drowning out the noise of Ten preparing their coffees. And whilst Sicheng may be slightly naïve, and unaware of other’s feelings, it was clear to him that there was something he didn’t know about between the cute barista and his roommate.  
  
   “It’s the barista, isn’t it?” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “Shh! He might hear!”  
  
   “Oh for – “ the younger laughed slightly, looking at his hyung. “What happened?”  
  
   “I’ll tell you later,” Kun blushed. He began to look anxiously over his shoulder at Ten, who was still busy behind the counter, messing with the buttons of the coffee machine.  
  
   In the meantime, Sicheng turned to his phone, which was thankfully still dry, despite being shoved in his (now soaking) jean pocket. After wiping his hands dry on a napkin that he plucked from a dispenser, he swiped open his phone and began to text Yuta.  
  
   _‘You won’t believe what just happened ^^’  
  
_    He smirked, and put the phone back down on the counter top, with the screen down. Kun was looking at Sicheng’s phone case, which was a shade of baby blue with cartoons of kittens in various ballet poses. Suddenly, the phone buzzed, Sicheng quickly picking it up in his fingers and opening Yuta’s response.  
  
   _‘what!! tell me!!’  
  
_    Sicheng’s fingers began to glide over the screen. _‘I met your friend, I think his name is Ten, he’s working at this coffee store’  
  
_    _‘is that it?’_ Yuta’s reply read, rather quickly, despite the fact that Sicheng was still typing away, explaining the situation. Feeling rather petty, he selected the rest of his message, and deleted it, typing a new response instead.  
  
   _‘Yep that’s it that’s the incredibly interesting news I wanted to tell you’  
  
_    Sicheng wasn’t ‘fluent’ in the language that was sarcasm, especially when it was over the phone, but he was hoping Yuta would pick up the pieces.  
  
   _‘that sucks. wanna hear some interesting gossip instead then?’  
  
_    _‘Hyung! I was kidding’  
  
   ‘well i wasn’t ;)’  
  
_    Sicheng scoffed slightly, yet retained his grin.  
  
   _‘go on then, tell me what happened for real this time’  
  
_    Kun had since turned around, and was scrolling through his own phone. The soft ballad that was playing had since changed to an upbeat pop song, which contrasted greatly with the otherwise dead atmosphere of the café.  
  
   _‘I was ordering a drink from your friend Ten, and then when Kun hyung when to order one, both of them started acting really awkward around each other. They wouldn’t even look each other in the eye … and then Kun didn’t even order anything but it was his idea to come here in the first place :/’  
  
_    Sicheng put his phone down once more. When he turned his head, he saw a smiling Ten walking towards the pair with a steaming mug in his hands. Gently, he placed it before Sicheng, the spoon that was sitting in the latte clinking ever so slightly against the ceramic.  
  
   “Thank you,” Sicheng politely whispered, Ten bowing in response. However, when his eyes lingered over Kun’s figure, who was currently facing away from both the blonde and black haired boy, something unfamiliar to Sicheng flashed across the other’s eyes. Ten paused ever so slightly, pursing his lips as though he had something to say, before scurrying away from the 2 boys back to the counter on the other side of the store.  
  
   Sicheng’s phone buzzed once more. He delayed picking up his mug, and picked up his phone instead.  
  
   _‘you’re out in this weather? fuck’  
  
_    The blonde boy sighed.  
  
   _‘That’s not the point’  
_  
   _‘well’  
   ‘maybe there’s something goin on between them hehe’  
  
_    _‘Maybe it’s sexual tension I’m feeling?’  
  
   ‘what, between us? ;)’  
  
_    Sicheng let out a loud laugh, before covering his mouth ever so quickly, having caught the attention of both the other boys in the store.  
  
   _‘i’m kidding dw’  
   ‘it probably is sexual tension. ten’s usually rlly excitable and shit so if he’s acting weirdly he’s probably overthinking stuff’  
  
_    _‘Oh, you know him quite well then?’_ Sicheng inquired, putting the phone down for a moment. He wrapped his fingers around the hot mug, gasping in satisfaction as the warmth ran through his hands and his throat as he sipped on the vanilla latte.  
  
   _‘yeah he’s part of the fraternity! he’s in his 2 nd year’  
   ‘oh he’s also majoring in dance, maybe you could talk to him about it?’  
  
_   Sicheng shook the thought away.  
  
   _‘Maybe when I know him better :)’  
  
_    After waiting a few more moments for a reply, Sicheng closed his phone and went to drink his latte once more. Kun was becoming more impatient by the moment, letting out small huffs and sighs whenever Sicheng would turn from his drink back to his phone. Looking outside, the rain had seemed to of stopped pouring so relentlessly. Gentle rain was much more manageable than the faux monsoon the pair had ran through earlier. It was nearly 11pm by now, after a quick glance to Kun’s watch. Outside, on the cobblestoned sidewalk, the puddles left behind by the storm were reflecting the orange glow that was being radiated from within the coffee shop, creating a swirl of colour in it’s waters. Sicheng let out a slight yawn as he took another sip of the sweet drink, welcoming the warm sensation it was bringing to his body. As the pair sat in a somewhat comfortable silence, they were drying off from the torrential rain they had endured earlier that day, Sicheng’s hair becoming fuzzy with the moisture. As he ran his fingers through it, he let out a grimace thinking about what he looked like. In fact, Sicheng purposefully began to quicken the pace of drinking his latte so he wouldn’t have to look at his reflection in the window as much. Once they were back to the dorm, Sicheng could have a nice shower, and be back to his normal state.  
  
   With a final sip, Sicheng put his mug back down on the counter top. Had Kun of jumped up from his seat any faster, Sicheng would of thought he was straight out of a cartoon. Sicheng scooped up his used mug, and walked over to the counter.  
  
   “Thank you for the drink, it was lovely,” Sicheng soothed, bowing towards Ten. The older, although a bit surprised at Sicheng’s intense politeness, returned the bow. Sicheng put his mug on an empty part of the counter, saving Ten the steps across the store in order to tidy up.  
  
   “Trust me, it was no problem. Have a good night!” he smiled, watching as Sicheng walked back to the entrance, where Kun stood with his hands in his pockets, as far away from Ten as he could possibly manage.  
  
   When they pressed on the door to the coffee shop, a small bell dinged, announcing that they were back outside. Even though the rain had somewhat relented, the wind was still attacking the pair’s senses. Kun and Sicheng walked in silence down the street, the only noise being the wind’s howls and the occasional shivering of their teeth.  
  
   “Do you want to talk about it now?” Sicheng asked. He turned his head and looked around. “No one’s here.”  
  
   Kun let out a heavy sigh. “It’s nothing. We just – hooked up. It’s simple.”  
  
   “Hooked up? What do you mean? Did you kiss?” Sicheng asked, his naivety becoming incredibly obvious to the older. The blonde boy wasn’t an idiot, but when it came to modern, especially _teenage,_ culture, he was usually in the dark about what the specifics of what certain terms meant. He still didn’t understand what the _‘dw’_ in Yuta’s texts meant.  
  
   “Well… kind of more than that.”  
  
   Sicheng grimaced slightly. “You had sex? With a stranger?”  
  
   “Yeah, alright,” Kun reasoned. “Maybe I did. But we were drunk so it just felt like it was right.”  
  
   The younger shivered, but this time it wasn’t because of the cold. “I could never do that with someone I didn’t know.”  
  
   “I didn’t think I could either, but Ten was different,” Kun whispered, looking down to his shoes.  
  
   The pair took a left turn, and were beginning their walk across the university lawn, the clocktower visible just ahead of them.  
  
   “How was he different?” Sicheng continued to ask. He wasn’t intentionally trying to come across as someone who was prying into Kun’s personal life, he was just genuinely interested. Sicheng also wanted to know how someone could shift Kun’s beliefs as easily like that.  
  
   “It’s hard to explain,” Kun struggled. “He just – I don’t know, we just _clicked_.”  
  
   “Huh… then why don’t you keep talking to him?” Sicheng pondered.  
  
   “Because it’s fucking awkward,” the older laughed slightly.  
  
   “Why?”  
  
   Kun let out a defeated sigh as the pair walked up their dormitory’s steps, the older holding the door open for the younger.  
  
   “I guess I just don’t want to, like, fuck up my chances with him, but I don’t know what to do in order to make him like me. You know?” he said, Kun’s thick brows furrowing in confusion as they began to climb the stairs towards their room.  
  
   “Not really,” Sicheng laughed slightly. “I wish I could help.”  
  
   The short walk down to their room was met with silence. Kun jangled the keys in their door, before they both walked in. Sicheng immediately ripped his coat off and left it on the pair’s radiator, throwing his shoes off. The blonde boy had called shotgun on having a shower first, quickly getting his pyjamas into his small teal plastic basket and locking the bathroom door behind him. He was quick to undress, jumping in the scalding shower and welcoming the streams of boiling water as they ran down his body, setting his senses on fire. Sicheng needed it though; that walk from the library to the café, and then from the café to the dorm had nearly frozen Sicheng over completely. As he rotated in the shower, he felt as though he was being thawed out. Yet the heat eventually rose to a level of discomfort, Sicheng turning the shower off and drying himself off with his towel. The blonde boy then brushed his teeth and slipped into his pyjamas, unlocking the door and assaulting the pair’s bedroom with steam. Kun quickly walked in and locked the bathroom door behind him, allowing Sicheng some privacy.  
  
   He turned to his bed. Whilst Kun’s bed was all decorated, and was distinctly _Kun_ in it’s nature, all Sicheng’s had that represented him was a plushie, and a potted plant on his bedside table. Sicheng made a mental note to go shopping soon, and renovate his side of the room, to represent his aesthetic. He imagined several plush pillows lining the part where his bed met the wall, and on the small shelf above his bed he’d have potted flowers and cute scented candles that could be lit to create a nicer aroma in the boy’s dorm room other than deodorant or after shave. Sicheng also wanted a string of fairy lights to go across the foot of his bed, and some nice posters to hang up.  
  
   It’d be done at a later date, though. Sicheng threw his covers up and climbed into bed, wearing a fuzzy beige sweatshirt and black pyjama shorts. He then plugged his phone into his charger, and brought it to his face once again.  
  
   Sicheng cursed at himself when he realised he had an unread text message from Yuta. He quickly swiped the text message, entering his code and unlocking the phone.  
  
   _‘tennie just told me all about kun hehe’  
  
_    _‘Same!! Kun hyung was telling me about Ten’  
  
_    Sicheng’s response was late, so he wasn’t expecting a reply from Yuta any time soon. Yet it seemed as soon as Sicheng had put his phone down, the older boy was already at his phone, witty reply at the ready.  
  
   _‘such a dramatic life they lead’  
   ‘they’d make great drama actors’  
  
_    The blonde boy softly giggled. _‘I can imagine that’  
  
   ‘although i think your story is better drama material tbh’  
  
_    _‘’tbh’? What does that mean’_ Sicheng questioned.  
  
   _‘???’_ was all Yuta sent.  
  
   _‘Hyung what does tbh mean’  
  
   ‘oh my god you seriously don’t know?’  
   ‘that’s literally the cutest’  
   ‘it means to be honest ^^’  
  
_    Sicheng couldn’t help but blush slightly upon being called cute. He then had to quash his feelings back down into his being, determined not to fall for the straight boy. However, a part of him was warning him that maybe – just maybe – Sicheng was too late.  
  
   _‘Oh …’  
  
   ‘are there any more terms you don’t know?’  
  
   ‘dw’  
  
   ‘okay I won’t’  
  
   ‘No I mean,’ _ Sicheng let out an airy giggle. He didn’t understand half of Yuta’s texts, but he’d be damned if they didn’t manage to crack him up slightly. _‘What does dw mean?’  
  
   ‘SICHENGIE i have literally said dw so much why haven’t you asked before’  
  
   _ The 18 year old pursed his lips slightly. _‘Didn’t want to bother you’  
  
   ‘no!! you don’t bother me!!’  
   ‘it means don’t worry’  
  
   ‘Ohh that does make more sense I guess ^^’  
  
   ‘you can ask me anything I think it’s cute’  
  
_    Sicheng let out a desperate sigh. _‘Why do you always call me cute?’  
  
   _ There was a pause in their conversation. Had Sicheng stepped over the line? The usual text message box that indicated Yuta was typing hadn’t shown up yet. Perhaps he’d just excused himself, or had to talk to someone else for a moment. After a minute or so of waiting, another message from Yuta popped up into Sicheng’s inbox.  
  
   _‘because you are ^^’  
  
_    The blonde boy let out an exhausted yawn. He didn’t know how to respond to that. Quite frankly, he wanted Yuta to stop calling him cute. The way it made Sicheng feel in his stomach was pleasant, but when Sicheng was reminded constantly that nothing would ever become of this flirting, it made him feel disappointed inside.  
  
   _‘I don’t get it … are you flirting with me?’  
  
_    Suddenly, in a rush of adrenaline, Sicheng instantly closed his phone and threw it to the bottom of his bed. He was too afraid to see the answer that Yuta would send. Sicheng was constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing, acting the wrong way, and Yuta was proving to be such a good friend – he didn’t want to scare him away. But… if Yuta was still here, despite knowing Sicheng’s Father could order his death within seconds, then maybe he was past the point of no return already.  
  
   The phone buzzing by Sicheng’s feet caused him to throw the covers above his head, acting as though the phone was a literal monster, ready to attack him. Tentatively, Sicheng emerged from the covers, and picked up his phone. With a gulp, he swiped on Yuta’s message.  
  
   _‘and so what if i am?’  
  
_    Fuck.  
  
   What the hell was Sicheng meant to respond to that? This presumed straight boy had just practically confessed himself to flirting with another boy. But not just any boy, it was _Sicheng_ of all people. The blonde boy didn’t want to inflate his own ego, but he did admit that he was quite attractive. But never would he call himself desirable enough to warrant flirting with. And whilst the idea of Yuta flirting with him sent him into a spiral of emotions, feeling as though he could float or fly or walk on water, he didn’t want to take anything for granted. This could just be a huge joke that Yuta is on with the rest of his frat boys. Or what if Yuta is drunk? Sicheng’s mind was riddled with anxiety, and refused to let him enjoy the sensation of warmth that Yuta’s witty banter was giving him.  
  
   _‘Are you drunk?’  
  
_    Sicheng instantly regretted asking him that. But what other choice did he have, for Christ’s sake?  
  
   _‘nope! stone cold sober hehe’  
  
_    The 18 year old felt as though he had to escape this conversation. As nice as it was making him feel, he didn’t feel worthy of such attention from Yuta, as well as fearing where the conversation may escalate to. Thinking of all the excuses he could use, Sicheng’s gaze passed over the time. It was nearly midnight by now. _Perfect._  
  
   _‘Okay well I’m going to sleep now! Good night’  
  
   ‘good night ^^ sleep well’  
  
   ‘You too :)’  
  
_    Sicheng then closed the phone, and nearly smashed it as he slammed it on his bedside table. As if on cue, the bathroom door unlocked, Kun stepping out in a pair of black underwear and a grey sweatshirt. Sicheng averted his eyes in respect for his hyung’s privacy, waiting until Kun had gotten into bed. The pair then turned, and looked at each other from the other side of the room.  
  
   “I’m gonna go to sleep now,” Kun whispered, slightly out of breath. “Good night.”  
  
   “Good night, Hyung,” Sicheng whispered back, smiling as he reached for the lampshade.  
  
   “Oh – Sicheng,”  
  
   “Hm?”  
  
   “Thanks for coming with me to the library, and for talking with me. You’re nice company.”  
  
   “It was my pleasure,” Sicheng smiled. “Good night~”  
  
   “Night,” he whispered.  
  
   The boys then rolled over, facing their respective walls. And whilst the room may have been peaceful, Sicheng’s thoughts were the polar opposite. All he could think about was one person: _Yuta_. The boy probably thought he was just being friendly, being a good _friend_ , but little did Yuta know how frustrating his actions were for Sicheng. The blonde boy couldn’t get over the fact that Yuta was being so nice yet, as the feelings were beginning to blossom within Sicheng’s stomach, he began to resent Yuta for it. In an ideal world, Yuta wasn’t straight, and wasn’t accidentally leading Sicheng on.  
  
   But Sicheng knew Yuta couldn’t help that. He wasn’t a mind reader, as far as Sicheng knew. Deep down, Sicheng just wished his feelings would be reciprocated. But even if they weren’t, Sicheng knew he had a true friend here at college.  
  
   Sicheng just hated how greedy he was being, not being able to withstand the feeling of wanting – no, _needing_ more from his light brown haired friend. _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cool!!
> 
> tenkun ship has maybe (?!?!) set sail at last?
> 
> ever since i made a pinterest board for this fic i feel as though i want to write more and more, but hopefully thats a good thing uwu
> 
> as always feel free to dm me on twitter (@orbityuta) or send me something on my curious cat (george_uwu), and thank you SO MUCH for the kudos and the nice comments!! they're always another motivational boost for me to write this fic :)
> 
> thank you for reading!! have a good morning/day/evening wherever you are


	4. the feeling of Approval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng receives a late night text from Yuta, leading to a night full of new experiences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!  
> usually these chapters have 2-3 scenes, but i got carried away with this chapter, so i hope you enjoy 1 singular 8k long chapter uwu

   It was the Friday evening, just after 11pm, of Sicheng’s 2nd week at college. He’d had an intense day of both dance practise as well as a history of dance lecture, and his head was slightly aching from the intense onslaught of learning he’d just endured. Turning his key in the dormitory’s door, he gently pushed it open, walking into the dark room. With a flick of his lamp shade switch, it was revealed that Kun wasn’t back yet.  
  
   Not a surprise. He was probably at the library.  
  
   Regardless, Sicheng slung his bag onto his bed and kicked off his shoes, beginning to do a few stretches in order to wind down after a long day. He basked in the orange glow of his lamp whilst he began to ease into the splits, using both of his arms to reach for his foot, feeling the slight strain in his muscles. Once he’d maintained the position for over half a minute, he shifted his legs so he was sitting cross legged on the floor, before gently grabbing the foot of his bed and using it as a support to get him back up on his feet. With the room free to himself, he began to undress, until Sicheng was eventually just stood in his underwear. Now that he was free from the constraints of his jeans, he began to stretch his legs, except this time without the worry of the fabric of his trousers splitting beneath him. Sicheng brought his feet up to his ears, gently breathing as not to knock him off balance. Once he was finished stretching, he began to go over some ballet poses. He finished his small workout with a pirouette, spinning gracefully in his pair of black briefs.  
  
   Suddenly, his phone buzzing plucked him out of his own world. He walked over to his jeans that lay discarded on the floor, kneeling down and taking his phone out of his pocket. With a smile on his face, he opened the message from Yuta.  
  
   _‘sichengie!! u busy?’  
  
_    _‘Not really,’_ Sicheng typed out. _‘Why?’  
  
_    There was a slight pause, Sicheng remaining in his position of kneeling on the floor with his phone in his hands. Thankfully, Yuta replied rather quickly.  
  
   _‘correct answer ^^’  
   ‘i’m downstairs we’re going out’  
  
_    Sicheng let out a gasp, nearly dropping his phone. As he went to catch it, it flew in another direction, Sicheng have to quickly move his hands outward in order to catch it in his palm. He brought the screen back to his gaze, so he could read it once more.  
  
   _‘Huh?’_ was all Sicheng could manage to reply.  
  
   _‘we’re going out! u have only been to 1 party this year’  
   ‘and i wanna fix that problem :)’  
  
_    The blonde boy paused. He evaluated the pros and cons of going out. On one hand, he really couldn’t be bothered to go through all the effort of getting dressed, and going somewhere new, with a boy that he was trying to supress feelings for. On the other hand… he’d be able to spend time with said boy that he was trying to supress feelings for. Who knows! Maybe he’d have fun.  
  
   _‘Okay I’ll be done in a few minutes’_ he quickly typed, before he had a chance to go back on his decision. _  
  
   ‘great!! we’ll be waiting ^^’  
  
   _ Sicheng let out an audible groan. _‘We’ll?’  
  
   ‘yeah! me and the boys hehe’  
  
   _ He groaned, gently throwing his phone on his bed covers, and snatching his black jeans from their crumpled state on the floor. Sicheng began muttering to himself anxiously as he slipped them on once more, before moving to his drawers and choosing a fresh new sweatshirt. His fingers hovered over a white one with some English words over the chest. However, before picking it up, Sicheng quickly ran into the bathroom and put on a nice smelling deodorant, fearing he smelt like a mixture of sweat and stress after his long day. Once his sweatshirt and then coat were on, following by his backpack, Sicheng turned the lamp off and left the dorm. As he walked down the corridor, his mind was beginning to fear the prospect of the new people Sicheng would be meeting. Yuta was – he wasn’t a handful, but he had a very big personality. It was Sicheng’s own fault for feeding into it, though. Nonetheless, Sicheng was worried that Yuta’s friends wouldn’t like him, or possibly even vice versa. An all too familiar feeling was sitting in Sicheng’s stomach.  
  
   A feeling as though Sicheng was wanting to be ‘approved’ of, in a sense.  
  
   He bounded down the stairs in his white all star trainers, eventually reaching the ground floor. In front of him, standing in the lobby, were 3 figures, positioned in a triangle and laughing between themselves. As soon as Sicheng’s shoes hit the blue carpet of the ground floor, the light brown haired boy turned around, the smile that appeared on his face brightening the entire room.  
  
   Yuta.  
  
   “Sichengie!” he called for, raising his hand and waving, acting as though they weren’t standing in an empty dormitory hall. Yuta was wearing a blue, white and red windbreaker, with a pair of black ripped jeans and white trainers. Beneath his windbreaker was a black sweatshirt, and on his head was a white baseball cap, flecks of his light brown hair escaping and covering his forehead. Yuta bound forward from his friends, a giant grin on his face, wrapping an arm around Sicheng’s shoulder. The younger had to supress his blush, or the giant smile that was threatening to creep onto his face from the physical affection his hyung was showing him. “Meet my friends!” he chirped.  
  
   “You’ve met Tennie, he majors in dance too, but he’s in his second year,” Yuta smiled, keeping his arm around Sicheng whilst his other was directed towards Ten. He was standing in a red coloured top with light blue jeans, and a pair of black and white trainers. Ten respectfully bowed to Sicheng, smiling in the 18 year old’s direction. His black hair was much different than when Sicheng had first seen him at the coffee shop, the once short and neat black hair having been spiked up into an array of gelled up blades.  
  
   “Sicheng, I don’t how you can deal with him – hyung, get off him! Let the kid breathe,” Ten joked, pointing at Sicheng’s semi-awkward stance under Yuta’s arm. He couldn’t help but feel slightly satisfied when Yuta didn’t change his position, though.  
  
   “Tennie, Sichengie has been nicer to me in two weeks than you have for two years,” the oldest grinned, Ten instantly rolling his eyes at Yuta.  
  
   “He doesn’t have to live with you!” Ten yelled in a mocking fashion, his voice becoming whiny. Yuta just laughed him off, Ten winking to Sicheng indicating that it was all just in jest.  
  
   Yuta’s free hand then pointed to the other boy stood with them.  
  
   “And this is Jaehyun, but we just call him Jae~” Yuta smiled. “He’s a freshie just like you, so you can bond over that or something,” he chuckled slightly.  
  
   Sicheng smiled at the boy that was _apparently_ his age. Thankfully Yuta had told him or else he would have totally mistaken him for being at least 2 years older than himself. Jaehyun had a head of brown hair, with a chiselled jaw. He was wearing a tight fitting white top that clung to his muscular body, Sicheng averting his eyes from his seemingly rock solid pecs. Jaehyun smiled calmly in return to Sicheng, with an aura that exuded seriousness. He was standing with his arms folded, his biceps straining the fabric of the shirt he was wearing. Jaehyun was definitely taller than Sicheng, and judging by the gentle smiles and soft laughs he emitted every now and then, it suggested to the blonde boy that perhaps he wasn’t as immature as those that surrounded him.  
  
   “Good luck dealing with him tonight,” Jaehyun smirked, gesturing towards Yuta. “He’ll have one drink and then he’ll start dancing on you.”  
  
   “Trust me – we know from past experiences,” Ten shuddered, resulting in a playful shove from Yuta, laughter ensuring.  
  
   Once the laughter had ended, Sicheng opened his lips to speak.  
  
   “S-So where are we going?” the youngest timidly said, slightly intimidated by all the boys around him.  
  
   “Well,” Yuta said, keeping his arm around Sicheng, maintaining the sense of security. He began to guide Sicheng to the front door of the dormitory – the same doors which Sicheng had strolled into by accident when thinking about Yuta’s lips. Thank god no one had seen that, Sicheng thought to himself every day. “We’re gonna take a walk to the bus stop, and then get a ride into Seoul, and hit up a student club,” Yuta smiled, slowing his pace down slightly so he didn’t drag Sicheng down the steps.  
  
   “You ever been to a club before, Sicheng?” Ten asked, quickening his pace so he was walking besides the blonde 18 year old. They were now walking across the courtyard, towards the clocktower.  
  
   “Not really,” he softly laughed.  
  
   “There’s a first time for everything, don’t worry,” Jaehyun spoke up, putting his hands in his pockets. Sicheng was wondering how he was wearing just a bare shirt and jeans, with the rest of the group wearing coats to deal with the cold October night.  
  
   “Yeah!” Ten spoke up. “You know, just always keep a hold of your drink, or else someone might spike it.”  
  
   “Spike it?” Sicheng pondered, turning to Ten.  
  
   “Yeah, like – put drugs in it.”  
  
   “Why would someone do that?” the youngest wondered.  
  
   “Well,” Yuta began. “It’s not like, _good_ drugs,”  
  
   “Not that _any_ drugs are good,” Ten chastised, interrupting Yuta.  
  
   The four boys checked left and right, before crossing the street. Yuta rolled his eyes at Ten, before continuing.  
  
   “The drugs like – knock you out, and then whoever did it just takes you away when you can’t fight back and does god knows what,” he shuddered. “So always keep a hold of your drink!”  
  
   Sicheng laughed softly. “I don’t know if I’ll even be drinking though.”  
  
   “You know, in a way, that’s good,” Ten said. The group were now walking in 2 pairs, Sicheng and Yuta walking in the front (with Yuta still hanging his arm around Sicheng’s shoulder), whilst Jaehyun and Ten were following them from the back. The sky was a deep shade of blue painted with streaks of black, and so the street wasn’t that busy, making conversation audible without having to resort to shouting.  
  
   “Why’s it good?” Jaehyun asked.  
  
   “Because when Yuta gets drunk he’ll have someone to clean him up when he throws up~”  
  
   Jaehyun and Ten began to laugh, hitting each other playfully on the arms. All Sicheng could do was grimace at the thought of having to take care of an incapacitated Yuta. He wouldn’t make him do that… right? Sicheng was dependable, and he’d certainly be equipped to deal with such a situation if it ever arose, but he hoped to god it wouldn’t.  
  
   “Hey! I’m not going to do that again, those days are behind me,” Yuta whined.  
  
   “Again?” Sicheng laughed slightly, looking towards Yuta.  
  
   “He used to get drunk every Friday, every Saturday, every – “  
  
   Ten’s cheerful voice was quickly interrupted by Yuta’s shouting. “Stop making him hate me!”  
  
   Sicheng let out a laugh upon hearing that, at a louder octave than he’d uttered throughout the entire 10 minutes in which the group had been walking to the bus stop. Upon hearing Sicheng’s laugh, Ten and Jaehyun began laughing as well, just followed by Yuta’s smile. The 4 boys eventually got to the bus shelter, the same one Kun and Sicheng had ran under for protection from the rain yesterday. After just a few minutes of waiting, the bus trundled to a stop on the side of the street next to the bus stop. The boys stumbled on, flashing their student cards before the scanner. They walked through the gap of seats, before reaching the back of the bus. Ten and Jaehyun took one seat, whilst Yuta politely let Sicheng take the window seat, the light brown haired boy spreading his legs into the aisle of the bus from the tight space between their seats and the ones in front.  
  
   Once the bus had set off from the stop, Ten turned around in his seat to look at Yuta and Sicheng.  
  
   “Hyung, is Yukhei joinin’ us tonight?”  
  
   Yuta folded his arms, looking to the ceiling in thought. Suddenly, he turned his eyes back down to Ten. “Yeah, he said so – I think. If he is then he’ll probably meet us there,”  
  
   _Yukhei_? Sicheng, once again, grew nervous at the thought of their small group expanding even more. Luckily, Sicheng had already met Ten before, and _how_ could he forget Yuta, so through process of elimination, that meant the bulky brown haired boy (that was apparently his age, yet Sicheng was suspicious) was Jaehyun. If Sicheng had just met an entire group of boys, he’d be completely hopeless with remembering their names. So when the news arose of another boy joining the group sometime during the night, Sicheng was worried that he’d inadvertently insult someone by forgetting what they’re called.  
  
   “You’ll like him,” Yuta softly spoke to Sicheng, barely audible over the trundling of the bus as it turned a corner. “He’s nice. Bit loud, but – hey, so am I,” he grinned.  
  
   Sicheng tentatively nodded, fiddling with his fingers between his legs. After Yuta quickly glanced at Ten and Jaehyun, who were busy chatting about something anecdotal, he gently put his large hand on Sicheng’s knee. Sicheng’s blush was probably extremely prominent, even though they were soaking in the harsh yellow fluorescent lighting of the bus.  
  
   “You alright?” Yuta whispered, comfortingly rubbing Sicheng’s knee.  
  
   Yuta was turning Sicheng’s feelings into a steaming mess: of _course_ he wasn’t alright. But when Yuta was touching him like this, even in a friendly way, he couldn’t help but relish the feeling. Yuta was a very hands-on type of guy, and luckily, Sicheng was more than willing to accommodate his cute behaviours.  
  
   “Y-Yeah,” he whispered back, looking down to his shoes. “I’m just like – nervous,” he spoke.  
  
   “Well,” Yuta said, shifting his body slightly so his legs were pointing inwards, towards Sicheng’s. “What are you nervous about?”  
  
   “I’ve never been clubbing before, so I don’t really know what to expect,” he was quick to respond. The unknown _always_ frightened Sicheng, and whilst his lack of friends during his earlier years before college were a major impact on him having no social life, sometimes he found himself grateful that he had no where to be, able to just stay indoors and work out, dance, cook, whatever took his fancy.  
  
   “Trust me, it’ll be fine,” Yuta smiled.  
  
   Sicheng’s breath hitched slightly when Yuta’s grip on his knee tightened ever so slightly. And if the older noticed, he did an awfully good job of pretending to ignore it.  
  
   “And if anyone tries anything on you – that you don’t appreciate, of course – I’ll punch them.”  
  
   The blonde boy let out a soft laugh upon hearing Yuta’s threat, Sicheng’s hyung smiling upon seeing the happiness replace the anxiety covering his face. Gently, Yuta retracted his hand and patted Sicheng’s knee, returning his hands to their folded position across his chest. Sicheng turned his gaze outside the window, watching the ornate townhouses begin to develop into shiny buildings, covered in glass and neon signs. The tidy concrete began to grow a shade darker, and the litter began to appear more often then it usually did in the affluent area in which the university was located. Whilst benches and Victorian lamps lined the streets in Sicheng’s dorm neighbourhood, the streets here were lined with trash cans and advertising billboards, with the occasional road sign thrown in there. It wasn’t a _disgusting_ area, Sicheng hadn’t been there long enough, but when you’re travelling from one of the most wealthy areas in Seoul to the inner city, any comparisons seem to just fail in the blonde boy’s mind.  
  
   Sicheng watched as Jaehyun leaned over Ten, and pressed his thumb down on the button. A bell sounded, and a red light began to shine at the front, the words ‘bus stopping’ being illuminated for the passengers. Once Yuta and Ten had stood up and began walking down the aisle, Sicheng and Jaehyun quickly followed.  
  
   However, when the driver applied the brakes, Sicheng hadn’t entirely been expecting it, finding himself being propelled down the aisle.  
  
   Jaehyun let out a surprised gasp when he felt Sicheng land against his back, grinning when he took his arms and helped the blonde boy stand up straight.  
  
   “Are you drunk already?” Jaehyun grinned, the dimples in his cheeks showing.  
  
   All Sicheng could do was shake his head, laughing slightly instead of offering a humourous remark back. Yet, the witty comebacks didn’t come as easy to Sicheng’s mind when talking to Jaehyun. How was it that, when Sicheng was with Yuta, he could (somewhat) engage in a rapport with him like it was nothing, but when it was with someone who was practically a stranger – an _intimidating_ stranger at that – Sicheng’s brain would flatline. It was weird, and so he much preferred the company of Yuta, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate the efforts made by Jaehyun. Maybe when they knew each other better, Sicheng thought, then they’d be able to talk with less awkward tension.  
  
   Once they’d all hopped off the bus, Ten took the lead, Jaehyun jogging up to catch him. Sicheng was extremely grateful that Yuta had waited for him to disembark, taking up the spot next to him as they began to follow Ten through the city. It was a lot noisier here than it was in the older neighbourhood, the beeping of car horns and shouting commuters not easy on Sicheng’s ears. The sky was now pitch black, yet illuminated from the buzz of the city’s activities down below. Sicheng brushed against several rushing figures as they were all walking at a much faster pace than the university students. When Sicheng looked above, he ogled in awe at the flashing neon signs, or at the large billboards that topped the rooftops which displayed eye catching animations of such a wide range of products. Obviously, this wasn’t Sicheng’s first time into the city, but it felt like it. This was the first time he’d been here without the constraints of his Father, or his bodyguards (although he was pretty sure they were around somewhere), and so it felt like an entirely new place. And for once, with Yuta in his presence, maybe he wasn’t so scared of the unknown.  
  
   It sounded powerful in Sicheng’s mind, anyway. As they reached a grungy looking building, built with black bricks and no windows, any feeling of confidence within Sicheng vanished. Internally, he cussed at himself for truly believing he could do this. But, after a few deep breathes, he calmly followed Yuta through the doors, after being nodded in by a bouncer.  
  
   The group of 4 were basked in a deep red light, emitting from various neon slogans that were hung on the side of the walls. Sicheng was just following Yuta’s back, hoping they ended up somewhere with a bit more space than this tight hallway. Eventually, they began to descend on a pair of metal staircases, the boys’ trainers clanking against the material. It felt like they were going deeper and deeper underground forever, Sicheng becoming very aware of a pulsing bass becoming more and more noticeable with each step that was taken. The blonde boy was feeling quite nervous by now, especially with the tight space, booming music and limited lighting, as well as the company he was keen to impress – well, impress was a strong word, he was just trying to make them think he wasn’t a _complete_ freak.  
  
   The group ducked slightly, apart from Ten, as they walked under an archway, leading into the main area of the club.  
  
   All of a sudden, the music became much more louder and crisp. Sicheng looked up, and was momentarily blinded by a flashing of multicoloured rainbow lights, spiralling out of control into the room. Before Sicheng was an elevated area, with couches and chairs, the 18 year old being able to see a bar illuminated just a bit to his right. In the centre of the elevated area was a ramp, leading to the dance floor. There was a mass of dancing – no, _writhing_ , people, all rhythmically moving in time to the beat of the music that was blasting around the club. Elevated above the dance floor was a DJ’s booth, with a man standing behind it wearing neon-lined headphones whilst moving his hands rapidly. It was an assault on the senses, with the lingering smell of smoke entrenching itself on Sicheng’s clothes the longer they stood still.  
  
   “Let’s get some drinks!” Jaehyun shouted above the crowd, Ten and Yuta cheering, following him to the bar. For a moment, Yuta turned around, checking that Sicheng was still there, and smiling when he locked eyes with his dongsaeng. Sicheng didn’t even realise that Yuta had wrapped his hand around his wrist, half guiding half dragging Sicheng along with them.  
  
   Before they could reach the bar, a calling of Yuta’s name diverted their attention to the area behind them.  
  
   Sauntering, or perhaps _stumbling_ , towards them was a tall boy, with a head of dirty blonde hair. It was swept across his forehead with a flick, and a wide grin was painted across his face. His eyes were looking around at the group of boys, who were all cheering for his arrival. Judging by his actions, he was the friend that Yuta had mentioned. The boy before them was wearing a black t-shirt with black jeans, as well as sporting a gold chain necklace. His ear had a gold stud in it, and he was wearing a white cap. He looked like a stereotypical frat boy, but if he had Yuta’s stamp of approval, then… that was good enough, Sicheng supposed.  
  
   “Yukhei!” Ten grinned, wrapping a shoulder around the aforementioned boy’s shoulder. He staggered slightly, an empty bottle in his hand. “You’re already drunk!”  
  
   “You guys were taking forever,” he slurred slightly, letting out a toothy grin. “What took you so long?”  
  
   “We were picking up Sicheng-ssi,” Jae smiled, gesturing towards the 18 year old. Sicheng was awkwardly fiddling with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, standing behind the protective barrier of Yuta’s shoulder.  
  
   “Oh my bad,” Yukhei slurred, before locking eyes with Sicheng. Suddenly, his entire aura changed, and he put on a sly smirk. Yukhei puffed up his chest slightly, and flicked his hair using a swing of his neck. The boy sauntered towards Sicheng and let out an airy laugh. “How could anyone not notice you?” he purred slightly.  
  
   Sicheng looked dumbfounded at the boy’s advance.  
  
   The air between the boys could have been cut by a knife, with Sicheng looking at him with his brows furrowed in confusion. Apparently, the rest of the group had also picked up on Yukhei’s entirely obvious, yet awful, attempt at flirting with Sicheng. This was suggested by Jaehyun’s grin and Ten’s piercing laugh that managed to break through the loud music that was clogging the club. Sicheng couldn’t tell how Yuta reacted, yet judging from the brief look of fear that registered on Yukhei’s face and the clenching of Yuta’s fists, he could tell it wasn’t as pleasant as it could have been.  
  
   Sicheng didn’t entirely understand _why_ Yukhei’s expression resembled a deer in headlights, or why Yuta looked like he was about to punch the poor boy. Either way, Yukhei was quickly put at ease when Ten wrapped his arm around his neck again.  
  
   “Hey, I have a game! Let’s get Yuta drunk so he stops being a tightass!” the black hair boy chimed, Yukhei retaining his larger than life grin, with Jaehyun joining on the cheering. Yuta regained his cool, not that Sicheng had particularly noticed him lose it in the first place, and smiled at Sicheng, before joining the group, with the youngest walking at a faster pace in order to not get swept away in the mass of people within the club.  
  
   They arrived at the bar a few moments after. Luckily, it wasn’t too crowded at the bar, with the main action of the club being the thriving pit that was labelled the dance floor. In fact, Jaehyun had passed the words that it was actually a quiet night for the club, despite the fact that Sicheng felt that this was the first time he’d ever seen this many people in such a small space. The bar had a black and shiny metal counter, with metal stools before them, all clad with pink leather on the top of them. Behind the bar was a large case full of several multi-coloured liquor bottles, as well as a large neon screen that had a soothing purple animation that depicted bubbles rising from the bottom of the screen all the way to the top. The group of 5 were sitting in the purple light, with all but Sicheng deciding on the form of shots they would do. Eventually, the boys decided on the wonderfully titled _‘Earsplitter’_ , consisting of an alcohol that Sicheng couldn’t name even if he had remembered it.  
  
   The man behind the bar dutifully slammed down shot glasses before the boys, yet Sicheng let out a small sign of protest by raising his finger when one was placed in front of him, as well. Then, the bartender knelt down and plucked a bottle full of a purple liquid from the depths of the bar, and began filling the glasses rather messily, the alcohol sloshing over the threshold and onto the otherwise clean counter. Next to Sicheng’s left was Ten, who was grinning with the prospect of swallowing the shot in 1.  
  
   Nervously, Sicheng tapped Ten’s shoulder, the older turning to look at the blonde boy with a curious smile.  
  
   “I – uh,”  
  
   “You wanna get drunk?” Ten quickly asked, cutting Sicheng’s stutters.  
  
   He shook his head quickly.  
  
   “Let me take care of it,” he winked, turning back to the main group of boys. Yuta started counting down from 5, slamming his hand on the bar counter with each number that he called out. The other boys, consisting of Ten, Jaehyun and Yukhei, all grabbed their shot glasses, clinking them together. Once Yuta stopped counting down, they threw the alcohol into their mouths, swinging their heads back. The effect was instant, the boys grimacing and coughing, yet a heavy laughter following. All of a sudden, Ten took Sicheng’s still full shot glass, and downed that one as well.  
  
   _Jesus Christ.  
  
_    Amazed at Ten’s stomach of steel, Sicheng patted him on the back in thanks, feigning a laugh when he saw the older’s look of pure disgust.  
  
   Once the group had recovered from the shots, they moved onto softer, yet still heavily alcoholic, drinks. Yuta was taking the orders from the boys, starting with Yukhei who was furthest to the left of the bar, and then Jaehyun, Ten and then Sicheng, who was on the furthest to the right. The blonde boy looked at Yuta with a look of anxiety when he was asked what kind of drink he’d like, especially as everyone’s eyes were on him now. Sicheng had never had alcohol before, his Father always forbidding him from ever trying it. But now that he was university, surely he was allowed to try new things? One drink wouldn’t kill him. The concept of a shot disgusted the first year, but just a normal beverage, that didn’t sound so bad.  
  
   “What do you think I’d like?” Sicheng asked softly, leaning across the bar so Yuta could hear him better.  
  
   Yuta turned to the rest of the group. “What do we think, boys?”  
  
   “Something soft,” Jaehyun chirped.  
  
   “Ooh! Something fruity as well, something that actually tastes _nice_ ,” Ten added, nodding in Yuta’s direction.  
  
   Yukhei cheered in agreement with the rest of them. And with that, Yuta called over the bartender, listing off a number of beverages, all with fancy names. Sicheng had no idea what would end up in front of him, but he trusted Yuta. Eventually, the bartender slid the mixture of glasses and bottles in front of Yuta, the eldest taking his time to allocate the drinks to his friends. Sicheng’s was the last to be handed out, a small glass with a soft pink liquid in it, topped with a slice of a strawberry and an umbrella hanging out of it. Small talk ensued, Ten balancing the main conversation with Yuta, Jaehyun and Yukhei, whilst periodically turning to Sicheng to chat with him for a few minutes. Sicheng gingerly took his glass into both of his hands, and sipped at it curiously. Much to his surprise, it had a sweet taste, sending an unfamiliar rush through his body. Whilst the rest of the group were now on their second set of drinks, Sicheng was still working his way through his pink beverage, savouring the taste and unwilling to drink it too fast. He didn’t want to become belligerent on his first night out, and forever have Yuta’s friends label him as someone who can’t handle his alcohol. So who could blame Sicheng for being the last to finish his first drink, the rest of the boys politely (albeit restlessly) waiting for him, before getting up from the bar and heading for the pit of writhing bodies. With tentative steps, he followed the older boys, making sure to keep sight of Yuta as they entered the mass of dancing people.  
  
   It may have been hot, and it was _definitely_ sweaty, but Sicheng would be damned if he didn’t admit that he was actually having quite a good time. This was what Sicheng wanted, after all. A group of friends to spend time with. And whilst it currently felt like the only true friend he had was currently Yuta of these boys, Ten was definitely warming up to him, and Jaehyun and Yukhei were sweet enough that given time, Sicheng could see them becoming friends as well. But that wasn’t the main reason as to why Sicheng was enjoying the night out. As he was moving to the beat, the alcohol making him feel as though his limbs had been lubed up, he was enjoying the rush that he gained from the feeling of fitting in. It was nice, if a bit strange, to be able to dance and enjoy himself without people staring at him. Yuta was by Sicheng’s side, doing some _ridiculous_ movements that made the trained dancer within Sicheng want to cry, but instead he found himself racked with laughter. The copious amounts of alcohol (that the group, sans Sicheng, kept returning to the bar for) were definitely taking their effects on the other’s bodies, as their speech began to slur, their movements became more sluggish yet free, and their laughs became less held back. The night had progressed rather quickly before Sicheng checked his phone, and noticed that it was half past 1 in the morning.  
  
   Suddenly, Sicheng felt a hand curl itself around his waist, pulling him closer to an unknown body. The feeling of panic quickly dissipated when he realised it was only Yuta, yet quickly re-ignited when he realised that… it was _Yuta,_ who had just pressed his body into him. The older leant down ever so slightly so he was next to Sicheng’s ear.  
  
   “Are you having fun?” he shouted, Yuta’s breath reeking of alcohol. All Sicheng did was smile and nod, and thanked the flashing lights for hiding his blush at the intense eye contact Yuta was giving him. Suddenly, as though Yuta had just realised what he was doing, Sicheng’s hyung retracted his hand and kept dancing, Sicheng letting out a laugh. He was enduring a constant flux of emotions, one half of him wanting Yuta to keep his hand around his waist, maybe even wanting to go further – yet the other half scolded him for entertaining such thoughts. At some point during the night, Sicheng managed to free himself from the pit, and walked over to the bar, pleased with himself for managing to remain in 1 piece despite being thrown about and sometimes being touched inappropriately by roaming hands in the crowd.  
  
   Sicheng plucked his phone out of his jean pocket whilst he sat at the empty bar. He quickly swiped open a message from Kun, which had been sent 2 hours ago by this point.  
  
   _‘Sicheng! Where the hell are you?’  
  
_    He quickly began to type. _‘It’s okay, I just went out with Yuta hyung :)”  
  
_    Putting his phone back in his pocket, he was met with the eyes of the bartender. Sicheng politely asked for a glass of water, and despite the confused look on the man’s face, he obliged, Sicheng’s fresh beverage appearing in front of him within moments. After thanking him, Sicheng began to sip his water, and swivelled on his seat to look into the pit, trying to find the boys he came with. During the small talk whilst Sicheng was finishing his fruity drink, he vaguely remembered the boys promising to all find their own ways back to the frat, in which Sicheng learnt they were all members of. It made Sicheng feel somewhat important, as though he was hanging out with the popular kids for a change. As he looked around, he saw Ten dancing amongst the crowd, ignoring a number of advances that men seemed to be throwing him. Jaehyun was somewhere in there, his height making his presence obvious as he stuck up above the dancing crowd. And off to the right, sitting in one of the booths, was Yukhei, a rather attractive yet slim man sat in his lap, the pair kissing each other diligently. It didn’t surprise Sicheng much: Yukhei had previously just tried to hit on Sicheng when they first met a few hours ago, so he clearly had a ‘goal’ in mind when coming here, a goal in which he’d clearly achieved. The only surprising thing was the realisation that Yukhei was gay, to be honest. That didn’t matter, though. Sicheng’s eyes were straining, in order to try find Yuta.  
  
   And then he saw him. Yuta’s light brown hair was whizzing around frantically in the crowd. At first, Sicheng thought he was just awfully dancing, yet with little to no help from the limited purple hue of lighting that was making vision incredibly difficult, the blonde boy saw that Yuta’s eyes were in fact laced with worry. In a quick moment, Yuta locked his eyes onto Sicheng’s lithe figure, sat at the bar with his legs together and a glass of water in his hands. The younger was pleased to see that the nerves in Yuta’s gaze dissipated upon seeing the blonde boy. Yuta staggered out of the crowd, walking over to Sicheng with a smile.  
  
   “You okay?” Yuta smiled, somewhat collapsing onto the bar stool next to Sicheng, letting out a loud laugh at the glass of water. “Is that what you’re drinking?”  
  
   “Yes,” Sicheng nodded, raising his glass ever so slightly, receiving another laugh from Yuta. “I was thirsty.”  
  
   Yuta kept laughing, Sicheng believing it to just be fuelled by the alcohol running rampant in his system. Yet Sicheng was soaking in the sunshine that Yuta’s smile was casting upon him, the way that his legs were spreading as he sat, with one hand on the stool and the other lazily resting on the counter.  
  
   “It’s been fun, though,” Sicheng added. “I just didn’t want to get drunk,”  
  
   “That’s understandable,” Yuta smiled. “You definitely had a good time, though?”  
  
   Sicheng earnestly nodded. “It was nice spending time with you.”  
  
   Yuta let out a soft chuckle, lacking the usual bravado his laughter normally held. He broke the eye contact with Sicheng, a role reversal of the pair, and looked down to his feet. Sicheng wasn’t able to tell but… was Yuta _blushing?_ Sicheng was dangling his feet from his seat, giggling slightly at the sight of his flustered hyung.  
  
   The youngest let out a yawn, using his free hand to politely cover his mouth.  
  
   Yuta instantly noticed, regaining his aura of confidence. “Hey, are you tired?”  
  
   Sicheng just nodded, sipping his water once more.  
  
   “What do you say we get out of here?” the older grinned. “It’s kind of dead tonight, usually there’s a fight or something,” Yuta said, shrugging his shoulders slightly before turning back to Sicheng with a smile.  
  
   He decided to ignore the end of Yuta’s sentence, and especially the slight tone of disappointment in his voice at the lack of a brawl for him to watch. “That sounds nice,” Sicheng said instead, smiling whilst getting up from his seat and gently placing his empty glass on the counter.  
  
   The pair made their way out of the club, Sicheng slightly supporting Yuta in his state by holding onto his forearm, too nervous to hold his hand and too short to wrap his arm around his shoulder. The older wasn’t _overly_ drunk, but he was teetering on the edge. After years of practise, Yuta knew his limits, and knew that tonight wasn’t the night to try pass them when he had someone to look after. But he still had consumed enough to enjoy himself, making his words flow with just a tiny bit more ease. Their faces were flushed pink due to the intense heat that the club was sporting, which neither of them had particularly noticed until they were outside in the crisp, fresh, 2am air of Seoul. As it was so early in the morning, the streets weren’t as busy as they had been when they first got off the bus. Most of the commuters walking on the sidewalk were either staggering thanks to the effects of alcohol, or excited students travelling to their next bar, buzzing with the prospect of more fun to be had on a Friday night. Amongst them were Yuta and Sicheng, who were walking towards the bus stop that would take them home in a comfortable silence. Once they sat down on the bench beside the bus shelter, Yuta spread his legs, whilst Sicheng kept his closed together.  
  
   “You did really well in there, yknow,” Yuta said, avoiding Sicheng’s eyes as he turned to look at him.  
  
   “What do you mean?”  
  
   “Well – I just thought you’d hate it, or you’d hate the boys, and end up leaving early or something.”  
  
   “Why would I do that?” Sicheng smiled, looking at Yuta’s face illuminated by the green lighting from the advert on the bus shelter.  
  
   “I dunno. You continue to just like, break _all_ my expectations. It’s kinda weird, actually,” Yuta chuckled slightly. “And you also managed to survive Yukhei flirting with you.”  
  
   Sicheng grimaced. “That was creepy.”  
  
   The younger didn’t know it at the time, but a feeling of relief momentarily washed itself over Yuta’s face. “Was it really?”  
  
   “Yeah,” the blonde boy softly laughed. “It was weird.”  
  
   “That’s comforting to know.”  
  
   “Hm?”  
  
   Yuta refrained from explaining himself. The advert rolled off the screen of the bus shelter, another one quickly replacing it. This time, the advert was a soft red light, having the effect of casting a filter over the boy’s visuals. “He doesn’t look like it, but he’s actually eighteen years old as well.”  
  
   “What is it with us freshman – why do they all look older than me?” Sicheng airily laughed.  
  
   “Nah you have this whole vibe about you,” Yuta began to explain, moving his hands. “You look younger, which isn’t a bad thing keep in mind, but you have years ahead of them in maturity,” the older soothed.  
  
   “Really? Jaehyun was pretty mature,” Sicheng pondered.  
  
   “Yeah, most people think that – but is he here right now? Or is he still in that club getting shit faced?”  
  
   The blonde boy moved his finger to his lip in thought.  
  
   “Good point.”  
  
   “Thought so,” Yuta laughed, leaning forward so he was resting his elbows on his thighs, holding his own hands. “It just shows that I’m mature as well, you know,”  
  
   If the street had been busy, Sicheng’s laugh wouldn’t have been noticeable at all. But as it was 2am in the morning, with barely anybody walking around and the traffic on the street before them considerably lower in volume, Sicheng’s laughter pierced through the night air.  
  
   “What?” Yuta grinned, looking at Sicheng in confusion.  
  
   “You are _so_ not mature,” the younger replied.  
  
   “How come?”  
  
   “You don’t even text with grammar, that’s like – basic language skills,” Sicheng laughed, looking at him with an expression that was a mix of teasing, yet innocence.  
  
   Yuta let out a scoff. “The way I text doesn’t say anything about my maturity,”  
  
   “It doesn’t scream _I’m a completely mature adult_ , either,” Sicheng joked, folding his arms.  
  
   “I’m more mature than you even realise,” Yuta refuted.  
  
   “Oh yeah?”  
  
   “I sure am.”  
  
   “Give me an example then,” the younger smiled.  
  
   “Well, I’m taking you home now, aren’t I?”  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips. “I guess that counts – but just barely. You’re not mature enough to realise I can take myself home.”  
  
   Yuta let out another laugh. They were interrupted by the sound of the bus arriving at the stop, a large puff of steam emitting from it’s exhaust pipe. The pair of boys stood up from their seats on the bench and strolled on the bus, scanned their student passes and then began walking down the aisle of the empty bus. They decided to sit on the row of seats at the back. Yuta immediately threw his leg up, taking up 3 of the 5 available places, whilst he spread his other one into the space between the row and the seats in front of him. Sicheng went to the other side of the row, and sat with his back to the window, crossing his legs on the worn out blue fabric. Once the bus had began to move again, Yuta opened his lips to continue chatting.  
  
   “Sichengie,”  
  
   “Hm?”  
  
   “W-What’s your… what’s your Dad like?”  
  
   Even in Yuta’s slightly drunken state, he still knew the weight of his words. It was constantly like an elephant in the room between the boys, not really acknowledging the fact that Sicheng’s Father was the most influential mob boss in the entirety of Korea. The realisation still hadn’t quite settled into Yuta’s mind. But then again, this was a silent blessing, as it helped Yuta treat Sicheng like a normal boy.  
  
   “What do you mean?” Sicheng smiled, trying to put his hyung at ease.  
  
   “Well – what’s his personality like? I just know him as this scary guy that shoots people.”  
  
   Sicheng let out a soft laugh. “He doesn’t shoot people himself, he hires others to do that – at least I think. I wasn’t really involved in that part of his life, he didn’t allow me.”  
  
   “Oh?”  
  
   The blonde boy nodded. “Yeah, he’s very secretive about his ‘work’ life. But he’s a really nice Dad, he’s kind and stuff, if that’s what you mean.”  
  
   “Really?” Yuta let out a soft laugh.  
  
   “Yeah. Why, what did you expect him to be like?”  
  
   “I dunno… if we’re being honest, I was expecting him to abuse you or something.”  
  
   Sicheng let out a loud laugh, echoing around the walls of the bus. “What? Why?”  
  
   “Because he’s so scary!”  
  
   “No!” Sicheng continued to laugh. “He’s never once laid a finger on me. Honestly! He’s just like any other Dad, he tucked me in at night and taught me how to ride a bike and helped me with my homework. He gives good hugs, too.”  
  
   Yuta was looking with half a smile, half a face of pure shock as he looked at Sicheng from the other side of the bus. “You’re kidding?”  
  
   “Nope.”  
  
   “That’s so… nice of him,” Yuta said, his brows furrowing in confusion. “I had no idea he was like that.”  
  
   “Everyone just thinks he’s heartless,” Sicheng let out a soft sigh. “He’s honestly so sweet.”  
  
   Yuta nodded, as though he was putting together a puzzle within his mind.  
  
   “Sounds nicer than my Dad,” Yuta scoffed, looking down to his foot that was splayed across the rows, resting on Sicheng’s knee.  
  
   “Why? What’s wrong with your Dad?”  
  
   “He left my Mom and my younger Brother when I was seven.”  
  
   Sicheng let out a gasp. “That’s awful.”  
  
   Yuta just nodded.  
  
   “Hyung, I’m sorry that ever happened to you.”  
  
   “Ah,” the light brown haired boy threw his hand in the air, as though he were dismissing the conversation. “Shouldn’t of brought it up. Depressing and shit,” he laughed slightly.  
  
   “You know,” Sicheng started. “If you give me his name I’m pretty sure I could get my Dad to arrange his death or something,” the 18 year old said with a deadpan tone.  
  
   Yuta’s laugh ripped through the air. “You’d do that for me?” he smiled. “I’m just kidding – I don’t know where he is right now, but I’d rather he sees me as someone who’s successful, so the exact opposite of him. Although the idea of his death _is_ tempting,” he joked, pointing to Sicheng before resting his hand on his thigh.  
  
   After 10 or so minutes, the bus came to a stop outside of Ten’s coffee store. Yuta and Sicheng hopped off, and began walking up the deserted street towards the dormitory. Dead leaves from the trees had began to litter the sidewalk ever so slightly. The only lighting was the dim glow from the street lights, with all the windows in the townhouses being pitch black. Sicheng and Yuta didn’t speak too much on the way back to campus, not really wanting to disturb the silent night. Apart from the sound of their trainers on the concrete, there was the occasional police siren in the distance, or the beeping of car horns from the inner city. Eventually, they got to the lawn before the clock tower, the pair walking beneath it together until they got to the dorm steps. Yuta held the door open for Sicheng, the younger politely thanking him, before waiting for the older to rejoin his side once inside. They then walked through the corridors of the dormitory, ascending the stairs before arriving outside of 26C.  
  
   “So,” Yuta said, nonchalantly slipping his hands in his pockets. Sicheng turned to look into his eyes, giving him a sweet smile.  
  
   “Thanks for walking me back, _again_ ,” Sicheng giggled slightly. “You know I’m more than capable of walking home by myself, you know.”  
  
   “I won’t allow it,” the older folded his arms.  
  
   “Well, maybe I’ll just have to break your expectation of that one day,” the blonde boy laughed slightly. “Anyway, I’m going to go to sleep now. Good night, hyung.”  
  
   “Night, Sicheng,” Yuta smiled, before turning and walking back down the corridor.  
  
   As Sicheng gently opened the door, hoping not to awake his sleeping roommate, Yuta quickly turned around, running back to the dorm room. “Sicheng, wait!” he hissed.  
  
   “Huh?” Sicheng whispered, walking out of the doorway and looking at Yuta. The light brown haired boy was back again, hands nervously hanging by his side as he looked at Sicheng like a deer in headlights. “What’s wrong?”  
  
   “I-I was just wondering,” he whispered, moving his hand to the back of his head, scratching himself awkwardly. “What are you, like – doing tomorrow night?”  
  
   Sicheng looked at him as though he was speaking an alien language.  
  
   “Uh… why?” he whispered.  
  
   “I just thought it’d be cool if, like, we did… something,” Yuta stammered, an unusual nervous aura replacing his usual sense of confidence. Sicheng was looking at him up and down, trying to gauge where his head was at.  
  
   “Like what?” Sicheng wondered, leaning on the wall ever so slightly.  
  
   “Like… dinner.”  
  
   “Dinner?”  
  
   “Yeah, at somewhere that’s nice, that you like,” he quickly said.  
  
   “I don’t know any restaurants here. Why don’t your friends pick?” Sicheng smiled.  
  
   Yuta let out a short sigh. “I um… I kind of meant just us two.”  
  
   “Just us?” Sicheng repeated, as though he wasn’t hearing the words clearly. Yuta gently nodded, clearly afraid of whatever answer Sicheng was going to give him, whether it was a yes _or_ a no. To Sicheng, it sounded awfully… _gay_. What kind of straight boy takes his gay friend out for dinner? Not that the 18 year old was complaining. If Yuta was gay then that’d be a dream come true. But Sicheng wasn’t going to allow himself to get his hopes up. Not just yet.  
  
   “Yeah! I thought that’d be something nice to do. Or if you don’t want to that’s perfectly okay, I was just thinking because you’re still new so – “  
  
   “I’ll go to dinner with you,” Sicheng said, stopping Yuta’s slight tangent. The older let out a sigh of relief, earning a gentle smile from the blonde boy. “Just, text me the details tomorrow, and I’ll turn up.” He smiled.  
  
   “O-Okay!” the older stuttered. “Good night, Sicheng.”  
  
   “Night, hyung,” he whispered, going back into his dorm room, able to shut the door without any other interruption this time.  
  
   When Sicheng was finally in his dorm room, he let out a harsh breath he didn’t even know he was holding. Like dust setting after an earthquake, the gravity of what Yuta had just said slowly infiltrated Sicheng’s mind.  
  
   Did Yuta just ask him out on a _date?_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO ELSE WAS MURDERED BY TAEYONG IN THAT IRREGULAR OFFICE TEASER?? WHEN HE PULLED OUT THE GUN?? I SCREAMED  
> on a softer note, im falling more and more in love with yuwin with each chapter i post
> 
> thank you so much for the kudos and the hits! i appreciate them all so much: you're all the best! <3  
> as always, my curious cat is george_uwu and my twitter is @orbityuta, feel free to send me a message on either, i have no life so i'll definitley reply! i love talking to new people :)
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING!!


	5. the feeling of Ignorance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng remains incredibly clueless after an 'outing' with Yuta, yet after a brief chat with Kun at Starbucks, everything begins to make sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> another update! this is actually longer than i had intended to make it, but i really enjoy yuwin's dynamics hehe

   It wasn’t a date. It wouldn’t be a date. There was _no way_ in hell that this was about to be a date. Yuta was straight. He _must be_.  
  
   Those were the words that were constantly running through Sicheng’s mind as he was approaching the diner in which Yuta had sent him directions to via text message. Currently, Sicheng was wearing a pale orange sweatshirt with a beagle dog over the heart, with a pair of blue jeans and his favourite set of white all star trainers. Over that was his black jacket with the fur lined hood, Sicheng walking with his hands in its pockets to protect himself from the cold Saturday evening that was upon the city. In the distance, just down the street, Sicheng could see the neon sign with the words ‘Diner’ in bright red lettering. That was a good sign: usually, Sicheng was awful at following directions.  
  
   In front of the Diner, sat on one of the wooden benches, was Yuta. He was sat scrolling through his phone, with his other hand in his coat pocket. His light brown hair, which usually say very messily on top of his head, seemed to have been tamed for once. He looked a lot more smart than usual, but that was bound to happen, seeing as he’d only ever seen him when Yuta was either at a party or at the gym. For all Sicheng knew, this was how Yuta always styled his hair.  
  
   It _wasn’t_ a date.  
  
   Suddenly, Yuta’s eyes drifted up from his phone, looking through the light crowd of people, before locking his hazel eyes on Sicheng’s. He quickly arose from his seat, and began walking to the blonde boy with a smile on his face. Once Yuta had slipped his phone in his pocket, he rose his arm and waved to the 18 year old, his hand rising above the flow of people. Yuta was always insistent on making his presence known, even if there was little to no obstruction. Sicheng couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh upon seeing that, quickening his pace slightly. It wasn’t long before the pair were stood face to face, their breath condensing in the cold conditions.  
  
   “Hey!” Yuta smiled, bowing towards the blonde boy, who quickly returned one. “You look… you look really nice,” he stammered slightly, giving Sicheng one of his infamous smiles that lit up the October evening.  
  
   “Thank you,” Sicheng whispered. He was struggling on what to say to Yuta in return. Should he compliment him as well? Should he just be quiet, and let Yuta lead the conversation? Should he change the topic? Sicheng was forever wishing he had some past experience to aid him _any_ kind of advice for these social situations.  
  
   _It wasn’t a date._  
  
   “It’s – nice, seeing your hair like that for a change,” Sicheng said, nodding. As usual, his overthinking lead to an awkward pause between saying thank you and then saying the compliment. Sicheng didn’t know if he should of used the word _nice,_ either. He wanted to come across as kind, but he didn’t want to outright say Yuta looked more handsome than ever (which he _did_ ), or else Yuta might think Sicheng was weird and –   
  
   “Ah, thanks, I tried to make an effort tonight,” he smiled, interrupting Sicheng’s running thoughts. All that did though was add kindling to the growing fire. “Let’s go,” he smiled, walking around the corner with Sicheng by his side, the older holding the door open for the 18 year old.  
  
   Once the door opened, a bell emitted a soft jingling noise, indicating the pairs arrival. Sicheng was expecting a cheesy American diner like the ones in the movies he used to watch with his Dad, equipped with black and white tiled flooring and bright red booths with leather seats. But Yuta had taken him somewhere else, somewhere slightly more sophisticated. The floors were wooden, and whilst there were still booths, they were decorated tastefully, with brown leather seats and white tables. In the middle of them were ketchup and mustard bottles, and hanging above the booths were paper spheres with lightbulbs in the middle, casting a soft glow over the area. As the store was a building on the corner of the street, there were 2 walls of the 4 lined with windows. Yuta lead Sicheng through the diner, before settling on one of the booths near the edge of the room, ensuring the pair some privacy.  
  
   Yuta could be doing that because he’s being sweet, allowing Sicheng some privacy from gawking eyes. However, they were quite far away from the university campus, Sicheng having to take 2 buses in order to get here, meaning there most likely wouldn’t be any other students in the area in order to make Sicheng feel uncomfortable. _Or_ , the more cynical part of Sicheng’s mind began, Yuta just didn’t want to be seen with Sicheng. Maybe Yuta was already regretting inviting Sicheng out. But why would he do that? Why’d he invite him so far out from the university for _dinner_ , of all things, and then not want to be seen with him? Sicheng’s mind was truly stabbing him in the back as he sat down across from Yuta.  
  
   “This place is nice,” Yuta smiled as he took his seat, edging towards the window. “It’s like a typical diner but it’s not all… _cringey_ , yknow?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “It’s classy. I like it,” he smiled in return.  
  
   “That’s good! I spent ages trying to find somewhere nice. I never really go out for dinner, we just order takeout or let Doyoung cook us something.”  
  
   Yuta then proceeded to take off his coat, revealing a nice, lilac coloured button up shirt that was tucked into his black jeans. He looked casual yet _smart_ , and all of a sudden, Sicheng felt as though he was incredibly under dressed. The younger was just wearing his orange sweatshirt and some jeans at this point, but amidst the professional atmosphere of the diner and the smart clothes Yuta was wearing, he felt like as though he was sticking out like a sore thumb.  
  
   He reminded himself once more. _It wasn’t a date_.  
  
   “Doyoung?” Sicheng inquired, resting his hands on the table.  
  
   “Oh, he’s another member of the fraternity. We’re one of the smallest ones on campus,” Yuta smiled.  
  
   “How many people are in the fraternity?” the younger asked, ignoring the fact he could feel his hyung’s leg brush against his own ever so slightly under the table. He was undoubtedly spreading his legs, as usual. _Men_.  
  
   “Ah, the fraternity has a bunch of dorms around campus,” Yuta began to explain, looking to the ceiling in thought. “The one I’m in, where I’m the qualified _leader_ some might say,” he grinned, showing off his accomplishment. “We have around 15 brothers. The others range around twenty five, thirty-ish, so we don’t all know each other. I’m close with all of those I directly live with, but my best friends are definitely Tennie, Jae, Xuxi and Doyoungie.”  
  
   “Xuxi?”  
  
   “Ah – Yukhei, that’s his nickname. Sorry I must be confusing you,” he laughed, Sicheng shaking his head sweetly.  
  
   Yeah – Yuta was confusing him, but for more reasons than just who was called what.  
  
   “They’re all sweet, though. Ten was very nice to me last night,” Sicheng smiled, moving his fingers to the menu holder, plucking one out. Yuta followed suit, opening it absent-mindedly.  
  
   “He was?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “He even drank my shot for me.”  
  
   Yuta began to laugh a bit _too_ loudly for the atmosphere of the diner, reminding Sicheng that he was still the same boy that he met before, just dressed up nicely and with tamed hair.  
  
   “Did he really?”  
  
   “Yeah!”  
  
   “Wow… no wonder you didn’t get drunk, to be honest. I was wondering how you were so sober cause I guessed you would be a raging lightweight,” he smirked.  
  
   The younger raised his brows slightly. “I feel like that’s an insult, but I don’t know what lightweight means,” he giggles slightly.  
  
   “Lightweight means someone that gets drunk really easily. I was dancing and I was like _fuck_ he’s broken another expectation, that boy can really handle his liquor, but learning that you didn’t even drink much – agh!”  
  
   Sicheng began to laugh. “I drank that one pink drink with the strawberry and didn’t get drunk,” the blonde boy smiled.  
  
   “Sichengie, that was like… _fruit juice_ , with a drop of alcohol in it,” he teased.  
  
   “Aw – I proper thought that I was grown up, drinking at a club and everything,” the younger pouts.  
  
   “You were more grown up than Xuxi.”  
  
   “How come?”  
  
   Yuta let out a slight laugh. “He got all drunk and then slept with some boy.”  
  
   “Well, that sounds pretty grown up to me,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “Nah – being grown up is knowing the consequences of your actions. He woke up with an awful hangover and another random guy in his bed, whilst you – no, _we_ woke up in our own beds and with clear minds. We’re the grown ups,” Yuta smiled, moving his hands to his thighs and leaning forward to read his menu.  
  
   Sicheng did the same, leaning forward and browsing down the list of starters, mains and desserts. Despite the diner having a distinctive style, the food choices could be found in the cheesy American restaurant that was aforementioned. Sicheng was wondering what kind of burger he’d order, not wanting to indulge himself too much in front of Yuta. He traced his finger down the laminated menu, humming to himself. The pair exchanged small talk over what order they’d place, and other matters, such as drinks or the possibility of ordering a starter as well. Eventually, their gazes were ripped off of their menus to the waitress, standing expectantly by the side of their table.  
  
   For some reason, she looked incredibly familiar. She was his age, definitely, but Sicheng couldn’t exactly pinpoint where he’d seen her before. The waitress definitely recognized Sicheng, judging by the small ‘o’ that was formed on her lips, before shaking her head slightly, her black ponytail swaying. She was wearing black jeans and a tucked in mint shirt, with a blue apron, whilst in her hands was a notepad.  
  
   “H-Hello,” she bowed slightly. “Have you decided on an order yet?”  
  
   Yuta nodded to Sicheng politely, beckoning him to go first, like the gentleman he was.  
  
   “Uh – please can I have the cheese burger,” Sicheng pondered, “But instead of the fries on the side, can I have a salad? But like – with no onions or coleslaw?”  
  
   She nodded curtly, before turning her eyes to Yuta. Her lips turned into a small smile, nothing like Sicheng had received. She shifted her weight ever so slightly, popping her hip, as though she was begging for Yuta’s attention. His eyes glanced slightly over her posture, her _figure_ , before he turned back to his menu. Sicheng was unbeknownst to the waitress’ motives, but he could tell the feeling of jealousy that was acridly brewing in his stomach. But he knew he couldn’t get possessive over Yuta when they weren’t even boyfriends. Yuta was straight, for crying out loud.  
  
   _If only this was a date._  
  
   “Umm…” he paused, slightly off put. “Can I have the like – the double burger, and also cheese and bacon with it?” he paused, turning over the menu. “Yeah, that’s it. Thanks,” Yuta said, this time looking to Sicheng, ignoring the waitress.  
  
   “Sure,” she said, trying to catch Yuta’s eye. But the older didn’t seem phased, merely holding his menu up and not bothering to look at the girl as she leant down ever so slightly to take it away. Sicheng’s menu, on the other hand, was briskly snatched from his fingers.  
  
   Yuta let out a brief laugh, before letting out a mock shudder.  
  
   Once the girl had left, Sicheng turned back to his hyung. “You ordered so much,” he giggled. “I don’t know if I’d be able to eat all of that in like – two years,”  
  
   “Are you fat shaming me?” Yuta grinned, acting shocked and putting his palm on his chest. He then let out an overly dramatic gasp. “Lee Sicheng… I deserve better than that.”  
  
   Sicheng just began laughing at Yuta’s stupid, yet humorous, sarcasm.  
  
   “In all seriousness though, it’s bulking season. I need to get bigger to cut it down and get more muscle,” he said. “Especially cause the American football season is about to start. I need to be in fit shape!”  
  
   “You’re not in fit shape already?” Sicheng gasped slightly.  
  
   Yuta smirked slightly, turning his gaze down to his arms. Sure enough, his shirt was tight, showing off the muscles of his biceps and his chest. He wasn’t as muscular as Jaehyun, but Sicheng definitely saw him as already being athletically built.  
  
   “You think I’m in fit shape?” he teased.  
  
   “Uh – I mean,” the younger began to fluster slightly, his eyes turning away from their brief gaze over Yuta’s biceps.  
  
   “Relax,” Yuta soothed, putting Sicheng out of his misery. “I just want to get bigger, get a bit fitter for the sports seasons. Stay on top of my game,”  
  
   “That’s understandable, I guess,” Sicheng whispered, still blushing profusely. “I’m staying in shape for my dance classes, because god knows what our next assignment will be.”  
  
   “What are you studying in dance?” Yuta asked, a curious look on his face.  
  
   “Right now we’re going to lectures about the history of dance and stuff,” Sicheng sighed. “And in the other classes we’re going over the basics of street dance right now. Taemin sunbaenim is a really good professor,” he smiled.  
  
   “History of dance… god. I’d literally die of boredom.”  
  
   Sicheng let out a soft chuckle. “So will I.”  
  
   “At least you’re doing something practical on the side as well. And your dance showcase thingy went well, I presume?”  
  
   The younger nodded. “It was good. I was happy I got to prove that I wasn’t a dead weight to the class, and that Dad didn’t just bribe the university or whatever for a placement. You literally have to submit a video of yourself dancing to three different tracks, and then after that you have to go through an interviewing process – I’d be really behind if I was just illegally put on the program,” Sicheng ranted, Yuta hanging on to his every word. “But yeah – the showcase was good, I feel like I impressed Taemin. But there was this one boy that was kind of like… off-putting,” his voice lowered.  
  
   “Huh? What do you mean by that?” Yuta asked, leaning forward slightly, moving his hands from his legs to the table.  
  
   “Well – I haven’t told anyone this,” Sicheng began to whisper. “But when I was in the changing rooms, as I was about to leave, this… this big _ginger_ guy blocked the door, and then he started getting really mean, but I didn’t – “  
  
   “What’d he say?” Yuta interrupted, tilting his lead ever so slightly.  
  
   “He asked if I was going to get _‘Daddy’_ to send men after him, and that Taemin sunbaenim would kick me off the course once he’d seen me dance,” he whispered, looking down. Yuta was scrutinizing his face, frowning ever so slightly.  
  
   “He really said that?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded.  
  
   “It was nothing, though. He looked shocked when I proved I actually could dance,” he smiled to his hyung.  
  
   “That’s not the point – he really had the audacity to tell you that?” Yuta said, his tone full of aggression. Sicheng knew it wasn’t aimed at him, quite the opposite actually, but he couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated by the man who was used to throwing around sunshine with his smile.  
  
   “It’s okay – he hasn’t bothered me again.”  
  
   “Tell me if he does,” Yuta leaned back, resting his hands on his thighs again. “Honestly. I’ll beat him up for you,” he winked, the carefree attitude easily returning to him.  
  
   “Ah, you can team up with all my ‘secret assassins’,” Sicheng smiled, rolling his eyes ever so slightly.  
  
   “Oh, that’s something I was curious about actually,” Yuta said, smiling to Sicheng. “Do you actually have like, a group of men that do nothing but protect you?”  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips, thinking of an appropriate response. Did he really want to out Taeil and Johnny to Yuta? What if Yuta was scared off by it? But, in the time that Sicheng wasted thinking of an answer, his silence was a response in itself to the light brown haired boy.  
  
   “Oh… my god,” Yuta chuckled slightly.  
  
   “It’s not like a _massive_ group – “  
  
   “You actually do?” he began to laugh, Sicheng pouting.  
  
   “I used to have a bunch of people, but now I just have two, Taeil hyung and Johnny hyung.”  
  
   “ _Hyung?_ ” Yuta asked, his laugh dying down slightly. “You’re close with them?”  
  
   “They practically raised me,” Sicheng defended.  
  
   Yuta nodded, digesting the information. Suddenly, his eyes lit up, and he leaned forward. His voice was hushed. “Are they here right now?”  
  
   Without looking up from his hands on the table, Sicheng nodded. “Probably.”  
  
   “That’s both cool _and_ creepy,” Yuta noted. “Hey, is that why you’re so insistent that it’s okay to walk home by yourself?”  
  
   “You finally understand!” Sicheng laughed slightly.  
  
   Yuta nodded with his eyes shut, relishing in the fact that Sicheng was acknowledging his intelligence. He then folded his arms over his chest, and smiled towards his dongsaeng. “I’m still gonna escort you home, though.”  
  
   “So gentlemanly,” the blonde boy giggled.  
  
   As soon as Sicheng had finished speaking, the waitress returned, with 2 plates in her hands. She carefully placed Yuta’s _surprisingly_ large burger before him, and then more-or-less dropped Sicheng’s meal in the middle of the table. They both thanked her, Yuta somewhat less enthusiastically, before she walked off with a slight huff upon not receiving any more of Yuta’s attention. Thankfully, it was all on Sicheng: well, it was actually on the burger. The pair fell into a comfortable silence as they dug into their meals, Sicheng carefully cutting his burger whilst Yuta quickly took his into his hands. It was kind of cute, actually – the burger was too big to fit in Yuta’s mouth, and so he struggled, widening his mouth as large as he could with his eyes honing in on the meat. Sicheng couldn’t help but giggle as Yuta let out a soft whine, indicating the struggle he was facing. The entire situation, with Yuta dressed smartly and the fact they were in a classy diner with jazz playing on the radio, juxtaposed with the light brown haired boy fighting to fit his burger in his mouth. Sicheng, on the other hand, sat with perfect posture, disguising the fact he couldn’t use his knife and fork very well by taking only small chunks of his salad or burger at once. To be honest, _this_ was the Yuta that Sicheng was expecting to meet. Not the Yuta dressed in a smart button up shirt, or with slicked back hair, but the Yuta who was messy when eating, the Yuta who’s laugh would echo around the room due to it’s intense volume. Eventually, the pair’s hunger subsided, Yuta finishing his burger and quietly waiting for Sicheng to finish his own. Despite the drastic size difference, Sicheng was a much slower and _calmer_ eater than Yuta was, and so even though his cheese burger was at least half the size of Yuta’s, it took him double the time to eat.  
  
   Yuta was absent-mindedly watching Sicheng eat when he let out a soft jump at the clang of Sicheng’s knife and fork on his empty plate.  
  
   “That was _so_ nice,” Sicheng smiled, leaning back and breaking his posture. He moved his hands over his belly. “I’m really full now, though.”  
  
   Yuta smirked. “I could eat some more, I guess.”  
  
   Sicheng’s eyes widened, his mouth forming a perfect circle. He leaned back forward and used his hands to rest his head on, elbows finding their place on the table. “ _Really?_ ” he asked in disbelief.  
  
   “Sure. I gotta get bulky, the word _full_ isn’t in my vocabulary,” Yuta grinned.  
  
   All Sicheng could do was shake his head, giggling at the thought of a stuffed Yuta forcing himself to go through the struggle that was eating the first hamburger all over again. As they waited for the waitress to return, the boys went back to small talk, making note of the weather and such topics. Yuta was doing _that_ thing again, where he kept maintaining eye contact with Sicheng until the younger got too frightened and quickly averted his gaze. Sicheng was a mess of nerves by the time the waitress made her round back to their table, notepad in hand.  
  
   “Would you be interested in deserts?” She smiled to Yuta, facing him and putting on a supposedly winning smile. Sicheng just looked down to his fingers which were playing with the hem of his sweatshirt as he traced the patterns of the white table they were currently sat at. It was upsetting – Sicheng felt as though he should give Yuta and the girl some privacy, averting his gaze from the 2 of them. He couldn’t compete with _her_. She was pretty. Prettier than Sicheng, anyway. Oh – and she was a girl, which would definitely present itself as a major factor in Yuta’s decision making over who he would prefer as a partner. The girl with gorgeous long black hair and a curvy figure, or Sicheng: a lithe bodied _boy_ who had nothing to offer him but a history of social anxiety and a future dictated under the watchful eye of his Father.  
  
   “Ah, I think we’re okay,” Yuta said, looking towards Sicheng. It was funny; Sicheng had been trying so hard to avoid Yuta’s gaze, yet right now, Yuta was trying to avoid the girl’s gaze. “Shall we just get the bill?” he asked Sicheng, giving him a quick smile.  
  
   “Uh – yeah! Sure.”  
  
   The waitress nodded in Yuta’s direction, taking out the card machine of her apron pocket. She quickly typed in the total, which was luckily not that extravagant, seeing as all they had were burgers. When she set it out on the table, Yuta immediately snatched the machine before Sicheng could even think about paying.  
  
   “Hyung – what are you doing? I can pay,” he gestured. Yuta was pretending not to hear him, a smirk painting itself on his face as he was taking his wallet out of his jean pockets. “Hyung – “  
  
   “I’m paying,” he assured, sliding his card into the slot.  
  
   “You don’t have to,” Sicheng said with an unusual tone of conviction. “We can just split it equally,” he smiled.  
  
   “Sichengie, you said it yourself – I’m a _gentleman_.”  
  
   “You don’t have to pay for dinner to be a gentleman,” Sicheng laughed slightly, but by the time he finished his sentence, the transaction had gone through. As the waitress nodded in thanks, she quickly took the receipt, and began scrawling on it with her biro pen. She then gave the receipt to Yuta, and whilst she was leaning down, swept the empty plates into her hands. In a moment’s notice, she was gone.  
  
   Yuta’s face was a positive hue of disgust.  
  
   “What’d she write?” Sicheng tentatively asked, putting his jacket back on.  
  
   “Her number,” he sneered, crumpling the receipt in his fist. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” he smiled, the cheery attitude quickly returning. Yuta slipped his coat back on and walked side by side with Sicheng towards the entrance. Once they’d stepped outside, the 18 year old paused, as Sicheng was fully expecting that to be the end of their _outing_ (not _date_ ).  
  
   “Come on, I’m driving you home,” Yuta smiled, turning the opposite direction.  
  
   “You can drive?” the younger said in awe, as he walked at a faster pace so he was next to Yuta. “That’s so cool. Why didn’t I know that?”  
  
   “Cause all the other times I’ve walked you home, I’ve either been drunk or I didn’t take the car,” he grinned. “But neither of those apply today.”  
  
   “What kind of car do you have?” Sicheng asked, his feet crunching on the dried leaves that had began to fall from the trees lining the side walk. If Yuta was trying to impress Sicheng thanks to his possession of a license, it would be an understatement to say that his plan had worked.  
  
   “Uhhh…” Yuta struggled for an answer. “It’s – it’s um, red?”  
  
   The younger scoffed slightly. “It’s red?”  
  
   “Yeah!”  
  
   All Sicheng did in response was roll his eyes, not willing to challenge the cute doe eyes Yuta was making at his dongsaeng. “I can’t wait to learn to drive.”  
  
   “How come you haven’t already?”  
  
   “Dad won’t let me, says it’s too dangerous,” he shrugged. “He said the same thing about university though, but here I am. So maybe he’ll warm up to the idea eventually.”  
  
   “Driving is your key to freedom, Sicheng,” Yuta started, guiding Sicheng to turn a corner. They had arrived at a small parking lot, surrounded by buildings. “Once you can drive, you can literally go anywhere in the world. It’s also really fun,” he winked.  
  
   Sicheng nodded in agreement. Yuta’s fingers dove into his pockets, and emerged with a set of car keys. On the key chain dangled a number of colourful tidbits, the silver of them catching the setting sun’s light. With a gentle click, a small red car in the corner of the parking lot blinked its lights in confirmation, the pair walking over to it. Yuta walked in front of Sicheng, making sure he had the honour of holding the passenger door open for him. Thanking him, Sicheng slid into the car, resting into the seat.  
  
   Yuta’s car represented his personality to a tee – it was messy, but an _organized_ kind of messy, as in all the CD’s were in one part of the car, all his take out wrappers in another, some of his text books and a backpack taking up the back seat. On the mirror dangled a cinnamon scented air freshener, masking the otherwise foul smell the car would probably inhibit. It was obvious that the car was an old make, but it still seemed more than functional. It wasn’t like all the cars Sicheng liked to sit in back home, such as the luxurious sports cars. Yuta’s car felt used, felt like it belonged to someone. It seemed full of history, to the mysterious stain on the floor just beneath Sicheng’s trainers, to the half empty bottle of water that had been stashed in the car door’s compartment. The cars back home didn’t have this kind of feeling, they all felt too… manufactured. Already, Sicheng felt more comfortable in Yuta’s car. Sicheng’s hyung hopped into the driver’s seat, put his seat belt on and checked his mirrors before moving off, and then started manoeuvring the car through the parking lot and onto the main road.  
  
   “You can go through the CDs, if you want,” Yuta smiled, briefly taking his eyes off the street to point to the pile of CD cases that were stacked on top of the compartment. “I don’t know if you’ll like any of it,” he chuckled slightly.  
  
   Tentatively, Sicheng reached for the pile, taking a bunch into his lap. He began to filter through them, noting that they mostly compromised of alt-rock bands. The majority of the covers were in black and white, or had roses on them, or cigarettes. Either way, Sicheng was willing to give them a try, taking one of the CDs – illustrated on it was a woman with a large rose covering her breasts – and slipping it into the player. Hovering over the buttons, Sicheng eventually clicked play, and allowed the rock music to blast into the car.  
  
   Sicheng looked out the window, resting his head on his hand as Yuta drove him back to campus, the 20 year old singing along out of tune to the song that was pumping through the radio. The younger was enjoying it, though. It’d just be so much better if they were _together_. To be honest, this whole evening felt slightly too intimate for Sicheng’s liking. The brushing of their legs, to the whole eating dinner together, Yuta paying the bill, followed by him driving Sicheng home: it was very _boyfriendy_. And don’t get Sicheng wrong: he yearned for that. Especially from Yuta. He was savouring the fantasy of what it’d be like to go on a date with the charismatic third year. But he wanted the real thing, and there was a constant reminder in the back of Sicheng’s mind that this was all just them being friends.  
  
   But - that wasn’t going to stop Sicheng’s curiosity from getting the best of him.  
  
   As Yuta pulled up on the side of the road, next to a path that lead to the courtyard on which Sicheng’s dorm resided, he turned to his blonde friend.  
  
   “My first American football game is in 2 weeks,” he spoke, turning the volume down of the rock song that was causing the car doors to vibrate. “Actually it’s on my birthday,” Yuta grinned.  
  
   “The twenty sixth,” Sicheng quickly responded with a smile.  
  
   Yuta stopped what he was about to say, ushering a quiet giggle. “Yeah – anyway, I was just wondering if you’d like to come? You can bring Kun if you want, so you’re not alone. It’d just be nice to have some support, cause all the boys are either also playing or doing other stuff,” his voice trailed off.  
  
   “That’d be nice,” Sicheng smiled. “And uh, hyung,” he whispered this time.  
  
   “Yeah?”  
  
   Sicheng bit his tongue, before letting out a quick breath. He mustered up all of the courage in his being, before turning his head and looking Yuta in the eye. No matter the answer to this question, he’d gain some closure.  
  
   “Was this meant to be a – a date?” Sicheng whispered, feeling as though his mouth had been lined with saw dust.  
  
   Yuta’s eyes widened slightly, before letting out a soft chuckle. His cheeks began to flame red, before breaking eye contact with his dongsaeng. Yuta brought his hand to the back of his head, scratching out of nervous habit. He went to speak, but then closed his mouth, as though he was backtracking what to say.  
  
   “I mean… if the shoe fits,” he whispered. “People tend to know if they’ve been on a date with me.”  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips. That was _so fucking vague_. What the hell did that mean? He was clearly showing discomfort at the idea of them going on a date. _Sicheng knew it_. He was straight and he was already regretting taking Sicheng out. The blonde boy knew this was coming. He’d probably never hear from Yuta again now.  
  
   “O-Okay… well, thank you for a good time, regardless of what it was,” he smiled. “You’re fun to spend time with.”  
  
   “Alright Sichengie,” the older smiled back, moving his hand to pat the younger on the back comfortingly. “I’ll see you around.”  
  
   Those words made Sicheng feel _slightly_ better. It wasn’t a ‘get the fuck out of my car and never speak to me again’. He may not pull through on his word, but he definitely suggested they’d see each other once more. As well as that, he’d just agreed to go support him at his football game, on his birthday, nonetheless. Regardless, Sicheng smiled at him, before stepping out of the car, gently closing the door. He began to walk down the path towards the courtyard.  
  
   When Sicheng turned his head, he saw Yuta’s red car still parked in the same position, the 20 year old boy looking in his direction still.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   Sicheng’s breath condensed before him in the early Tuesday morning. His hands were stuffed in his coat pockets as usual, with his eyes focusing on watching the concrete beneath his feet. The blonde boy was wearing a pair of light blue jeans, with white trainers and a pastel pink hoodie. He’d just finished attending a lecture, with Sicheng somewhat enjoying it: he got to sit at the back of the auditorium, and due to the limited amount of students majoring in dance, the hall was extremely empty. Apart from a few pairings, and a large group consisting of a _certain_ ginger haired boy, everyone was sat as far away from each other as possible. Sicheng was the only one on the back row, diligently taking notes throughout the hour.  
  
   During the lecture, Kun had texted asking him out for a meet up over coffee. Sicheng didn’t really enjoy coffee, seeing its only purposes as to either warm or wake you up. And the blonde boy wasn’t that cold, and had already been to a lecture today. But due to Kun’s first lecture being in the afternoon, whilst Sicheng’s was bright and early at 9am, it was the only time in the day in which they could meet up. Kun had insisted, that they _needed_ a catch up.  
  
   And apparently, Kun wasn’t the only one with that on his mind.  
  
   As soon as Sicheng slipped into the tunnel connecting the large park before the dance studio towards another courtyard, a figure was standing in the way. The light was coming into the tunnel from behind him, disguising his identity to the freshman. He was dressed in all black, and had an aura of intimidation shrouding his bulky figure. At first, Sicheng stopped in his tracks, slightly spooked by the unknown figure standing before him.  
  
   But when the figure began to gently wave, Sicheng let out an airy laugh.  
  
   “Johnny hyung, you scared me,” the blonde boy gently spoke, putting his palm on his chest in surprise as he walked over to his bodyguard. Wordlessly, Johnny encased Sicheng within his open arms, a sense of order being restored back to the younger’s world.  
  
   “Well, you’re not the only one that’s been scared recently,” he whispered, patting Sicheng’s back lightly. Sicheng in turn retracted himself from the hug, and stood across from his bodyguard, putting his hands back in his coat pocket.  
  
   “Huh?” was all that Sicheng responded with.  
  
   Taeil’s footsteps behind him were silent. “The things you’ve been up to, it’s been such a pain to watch over you,” he whispered, Sicheng half expecting the sudden sound behind him. Whenever one of his bodyguards turned up, it wouldn’t be long before the other arrived within a few seconds. Johnny and Taeil were a package deal, and it was off-putting to see one without the other.  
  
   “Yeah… first that party, but we let it slide, cause yknow – you’re allowed freedom,” Johnny spoke, walking over to Taeil’s side, Sicheng turning to face them both. “But then when you went to that club, and then on Saturday when you got in that guy’s _car_ – “  
  
   “He’s not just some guy,” Sicheng defended himself, looking down to the dimly lit ground. The morning sun was barely breaking through the overcast sky, resulting in a rather dark atmosphere so late in the morning.  
  
   “So… what is he?” Johnny tentatively asked, as though holding a red flag before a bull.  
  
   “His name is _Yuta_. And he’s – he’s a friend.”  
  
   Suddenly, Taeil slapped Johnny’s arm, the taller retracting slightly in pain. “I fucking _told_ you,” he hissed, supressing a smile.  
  
   “What did you say?” Sicheng asked, eyeing the 2 of them with suspicion.  
  
   The bodyguards then turned to Sicheng, as though they were just realising the blonde boy was still stood there. An awkward silence clung in the tunnel as the men began to look at each other with guilty faces. Sicheng folded his arms, feeling as though he demanded an answer. What could they possibly have been saying about Sicheng?  
  
   “This – this _Yuta_ ,” Taeil said, clearing his throat ever so slightly. “Are you two a… a thing?”  
  
   “A _thing?”_  
  
   “Like, you two are dating, right?” Taeil pondered. He then quickly retreated behind Johnny’s arm when a face of shock was thrown upon Sicheng’s face.  
  
   “ _What?! No!”_ the youngest pouted. “Why would you ever think that?”  
  
   “Sicheng, he took you out for dinner,” Johnny furrowed his brows.  
  
   “S-So?!” Sicheng stammered. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed his lips once more. His mind was racing a mile a minute, feeling incredibly uncomfortable that his personal life with Yuta was being displayed before his very eyes. It almost set it all in stone for Sicheng once more, reminding himself of who he _really_ was, who his Father was, no matter how much Yuta helped make him feel normal. “He’s straight anyways! It’s nothing romantic.”  
  
   Taeil and Johnny weren’t stupid. Collectively, they knew Sicheng better than anyone else in the world; some may argue even more than Taeyong himself. They knew when he was clearly conflicted and hurting over something. So, being the responsible adults, they backed away from the conversation, respecting his feelings.  
  
   “Alright. We’re sorry for prying,” Taeil soothed. “We just want to make sure this _Yuta_ , your _friend_ ,” he emphasized, looking at Sicheng with a soft gaze, “Is a nice guy. He’s not going to hurt you, is he?”  
  
   Sicheng instantly shook his head. “He’s walked me home loads of times. If he was going to kill me or something I think he would’ve done it by now,” the younger softly giggled, the frustration dissipating as quickly as it had once arrived.  
  
   “Well that’s all that matters,” Johnny nodded. “If you’re happy, then we’re happy.”  
  
   “Yeah!” Taeil added on the end, patting Sicheng’s shoulder.  
  
   “Oh, before we go,” Johnny quickly said, putting his hands in his pockets. “Your Father wants to see you on your birthday, naturally. The 28th is a Friday, so he thought it’d be a nice idea to take you out for dinner?”  
  
   Sicheng let out a smile. “Yeah, I do miss him~”  
  
   “God, he misses you too,” Taeil airily laughed. “He keeps asking, no, _pestering_ us for updates and the such. I think he wanted you to stay over on the Saturday as well?”  
  
   “Yeah that’d be nice! I’ve been kind of homesick but… I don’t know. Recently I’ve been enjoying myself a bit more,” Sicheng grinned. “What have you been telling him?” Suddenly, the blonde boy’s expression turned to that of fear. “Oh my god you didn’t tell him I drank alcohol right? Or that I went to dinner with a _friend_? He’ll take it the wrong way,” he began to stutter.  
  
   Johnny and Taeil just exchanged a look. “We just told him that you’re settling into the university lifestyle just fine,” the older smiled.  
  
   “Oh… oh good. Thank you,” the younger smiled.  
  
   “To be honest, I didn’t even realise you had your first drink,” Johnny whispered. “I thought you just drank fruit juice – “  
  
   “ _It was alcohol!”_ Sicheng whined, before letting out a gentle laugh.  
  
   Taeil just nodded, smiling. “Well, we’re going to go now. Don’t want to keep you waiting. Have a good day, Sichengie.”  
  
   “You too, hyungs,” Sicheng bowed politely, smiling.  
  
   “You know where we are if you ever need us,” Johnny noted, watching as Sicheng just nodded and turned back to the end of the tunnel. Sicheng gave it a few seconds before turning around, smirking when he saw that they had already evaporated from the scene.  
  
   From the tunnel’s exit, Sicheng turned left, walking across a courtyard. Dotted around the courtyard were metal sculptures and potted trees, with a sandy coloured concrete instead of the usual off-white that was used around the other areas of the campus. Sicheng was currently walking through the sculpture and design labs, being surrounded by buildings on either side with large windows, allowing a large amount (or lack thereof) of natural sunlight to enter. He kept walking straight on, before walking through another tunnel. This one was busier than the previous one, with several students brushing against Sicheng’s shoulders. The 18 year old took no notice of it though, simply keeping his eyes trained on an unspecified point ahead. Once he was out of the 2 nd tunnel, he was presented with a grassy hill, trails of mud running down the edges, suggesting it was a popular place for drunken sledging. Lining the bottom of the hill was a brick wall, leading to sets of stairs on either side of the elevated ground. Unlike the rest of the university grounds, this was probably one of the only areas without any vegetation, making the hill stand out. Regardless, Sicheng turned right, before taking a left turn and walking up one of the sets of steps. He held onto the metal bar, careful not to slip on the slightly damp concrete, before reaching the top of the hill. Before him was a street, several stores lazily sitting on it’s edge, with bright windows alluring customers inside so they can waste their money. Sicheng had never been on this side of the university, with his dorm, the clock tower and Ten’s coffee store being on the opposite side to where he was now. Not that Sicheng minded; this area seemed to be equally beautiful. It was just a matter of whether the 18 year old could find the café Kun had insisted they meet at.  
  
   Sicheng walked to his left, alongside the top of the hill. When he looked down, he saw the tunnel in which he’d just walked through. From his vantage point, Sicheng could see inside the class rooms of the sculpting building, seeing large blocks of clay that were beginning to take shape in the form of various different figures. Turning his attention back to where he was walking, Sicheng crossed the street, and going down a side road that lead off of the main shopping strip he’d just encountered. According to Kun’s directions, the café shouldn’t be too far away. It was only a Starbucks, so most likely there was one on every single corner.  
  
   It took a few minutes of walking, but Sicheng then saw the tell-tale green and white sign. He turned right and pressed onto the glass door, gasping at the warm sensation that enveloped him as soon as he walked into the store. The smell of coffee beans wafted into Sicheng’s nose, making Sicheng feel as though he was at home. A moving figure caught his glance, before he realised it was Kun rapidly waving his hand. With a soft laugh, Sicheng weaved his way through the tables, before sitting down opposite his room mate.  
  
   “Long time no see!” Kun smiled, closing his laptop and slipping it into his bag. “It’s funny how we live together but our schedules are just – completely different.”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “It’s weird how it works out like that.”  
  
   Kun turned to the counter, before looking back to Sicheng. “Do you want a drink?”  
  
   “Hmm…” Sicheng’s eyes glanced over the stretching queue. He really couldn’t be bothered to stand up. “I’m alright, thank you.” he nodded.  
  
   “Nice. How was your lecture?”  
  
   “Oh my god it was _so_ boring,” Sicheng sighed. “I didn’t really enjoy preparing for the dance showcase on the first week, but I kind of miss all of the practise. Gave me a sense of purpose,” the younger grinned.  
  
   “Now you know how I feel, doing film making but being stuck in boring lectures and writing essay after essay. It’s only the third week as well,” Kun said with a hint of exasperation.  
  
   “It sucks. I can’t wait for some kind of big dance project or something like that.”  
  
   “Well, you know the university usually hosts a big Christmas play,” Kun stated, looking at his half empty mug. “They always need dancers for that.”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “Maybe something with a little less pressure,” he laughed.  
  
   “True. I couldn’t ever do something like that in front of the entire school,” Kun laughed as well.  
  
   The blonde boy nodded.  
  
   “Anyway…” Kun started. “A little birdie told me that you went on a _date_.”  
  
   _Lord have mercy._ If Sicheng didn’t exercise complete control over his emotions, he’d probably flip the table and start throwing the decorative plants that were dotted around the store at random customers.  
  
   “It wasn’t a date.”  
  
   Kun noticed Sicheng’s somewhat _icy_ reception, but disregarded it immediately.  
  
   “Alright – it wasn’t a date.”  
  
   The younger let out a relieved breath. He thought he’d have to try harder in order to convince his hyung. Because the truth was that it really _wasn’t_ a date! Sicheng was sure of it. Perhaps, it had seemed bit… intimate, at times, but Yuta was straight. He was just being a good friend. Because that’s all Sicheng was to Yuta. A _friend_. Sicheng tried as hard as he could to remove the acrid feeling of desire in his stomach.  
  
   “So, what happened then? When you went out with Yuta? As friends, of course,” Kun winked.  
  
   “Well… we met up at this nice diner. And then we sat down, had a burger, and then he drove me back to the dorm,” Sicheng’s voice had slightly lowered in volume by the time he’d finished the sentence.  
  
   “What was he wearing?” Kun wondered, absent-mindedly checking the time on his phone.  
  
   “He was wearing this nice button up shirt. I just wore my nice beagle sweatshirt though.”  
  
   “And did he pay at the end?”  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips. “Annoyingly, yes. I offered to pay and everything because – _Hello_ ,” the blonde boy giggled, not wanting to vocalize why lest he sound arrogant. “But… he insisted.”  
  
   Kun straightened up his posture, matching that of Sicheng’s. In a very businessman like way, Kun put his hands on the table, and made eye contact with his dongsaeng. “So – let me get this straight. He took you out for a meal. He was dressed up nicely, rather smartly. He insisted on paying the bill despite your financial situation. And then he drove you home. What did he say after? In the car?”  
  
   “He um – he asked me if I’d go to his football game on his birthday…” Sicheng whispered.   
  
   It was very sudden, the way that the realisation hit Sicheng in the chest, like a train barrelling ahead at 200mph. He felt as though he was winded, struggling to catch his breath. Sicheng’s inner being seemed to be crumpling into ash at the heavy collision that was realising the truth about Yuta and his’ Saturday night outing. “Oh my god…”  
  
   “Yuta took me on a _date_?” Sicheng struggled, looking up at Kun with a hint of shock.  
  
   “There it is,” Kun said, laughing to himself.  
  
   Fuck. _Fuck._ Kun was right. It was so obvious – Sicheng was too deluded to realise. It all made sense… the classy diner, Yuta’s dress sense, his manners, the courteous attitude he had donned on all night. Sicheng hung his head in _shame_ , almost. The puzzles were fitting together, sending Sicheng into a whirlwind of emotions, as though he had just been picked up in a tornado and thrown halfway across the country. Why had Yuta taken him on a date? And _why was Sicheng only internally accepting this information now?_ As soon as it began to make sense, Sicheng’s mind took 2 steps backwards. He was straight – Yuta was straight! What business did he have in taking Sicheng out in a romantic sense?  
  
   Oh my god… he even said it after dinner, in the car.  
  
   _“People tend to know if they’ve been on a date with me.”_  
  
   And he knew! Sicheng knew now. But it just threw his head into a mess. Yuta seemed like the epitome of a straight frat boy, but all of a sudden, he was thrown into a new light. _Maybe_ he was gay? Maybe Yuta did have a massive crush on Sicheng, and was wooing him, despite Sicheng’s obvious lack of experience with a social life in general. _No –_ Sicheng didn’t want to get ahead of himself. But he’d finally accepted it.  
  
   _It was a date._  
  
   Kun was watching Sicheng’s worried expression.  
  
   “Sicheng, chill,” he laughed. “You seriously just realised now? A full… what, three days since he took you out?”  
  
   “I – I had no idea. I didn’t even think he was gay,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “Ohh Sicheng,” Kun whined, laughing to himself. “It’s fine, I wouldn’t worry. So what if he’s interested in you. You’re interested in him too, right?”  
  
   The younger paused. “I mean – yeah, I think I am,” he whispered.  
  
   Kun just nodded. He stood up from his seat, picking his bag up. Sicheng didn’t realise how long they’d actually been in the store, but from checking his phone, it was around 11:10am already. Kun was explaining how he had another sucky lecture at half past, but Sicheng wasn’t really listening. All he could think about was the intense realisation that Yuta took him on a date. Sure, Sicheng was probably blowing it out of proportion; to experienced Yuta, it was probably nothing. It wasn’t like it was an official declaration of love, or anything. But for Sicheng, innocent, somewhat _naïve_ Sicheng, who had been supressing his feelings in fear of rejection from a heterosexual Yuta, it was a blessing. He was instead filled with a light, fluttery feeling, that washed refreshingly over his senses.  
  
   So much so, that Sicheng didn’t even notice the girl tapping him on the shoulder. Snapping back to reality, he turned around, meeting the eyes of one of his class mates.  
  
   _Cheng Xiao.  
  
_    “H-Hi Sicheng!” she smiled, bowing. Sicheng, still caught up in his daze over Yuta, simply smiled in return and bowed. “I um… I overheard you talking earlier,” she pointed to her seat just behind Sicheng’s, which was on a different table yet due to the cramped nature of Starbucks, they were all incredibly close together.  
  
   A rock felt like it had dropped in Sicheng’s stomach. Oh _god_ , what had she heard? If she heard –  
  
   “There are – like, dance competitions and stuff that aren’t in class, you know,” she smiled. Instantly, relief painted itself across Sicheng’s complexion. “In the dance society, there’s like, less rules, and also less rude people,” she giggled slightly. Quickly, she stuffed her hand in her fur coat pocket, and took out a crumpled, bright orange leaflet. “Here!” she said, handing it out in one hand. The blonde boy tentatively took it into his fingers.  
  
   On the piece of paper read _‘Dance Society!’_ in a cheesy 80s font. The only other information the leaflet divulged in was a location, an old amphitheatre on the side of campus Sicheng had never been to before, and the time: midnight, every Thursday.  
  
   “T-Thanks,” Sicheng whispered, trying to place his attention on the leaflet and Cheng Xiao, but it was all for nothing: his mind was still running a mile a minute about Yuta.  
  
   “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but it’s actually _really_ fun,” she smiled.  
  
   “What do you do?” the blonde boy asked.  
  
   “Well – It’s basically a competition. There’s like, there categories throughout the night. It only goes on for about an hour, but it always feel quicker. There are like, quite a few teams, but they range in member size. The first category is your standard _‘dance’_ category. Dance like we know it. The host will call out a random ballet pose or movement, and then each team submits a member. The team who’s member does the pose the best out of the group then gets some points! It’s funny – especially because people tend to arrive drunk, and so seeing a bunch of belligerent students trying to do pirouettes is always a good laugh,” she giggled. Sicheng was hanging on her every word – that part sounded fine. “The next category is the K-pop genre. A random K-pop song will be played, and then groups will have to submit two or more members in order to dance correctly to it. This category is usually the most anticipated part, because it takes students out of their bedrooms and onto some kind of _stage_ for dancing,” she smiled. Sicheng knew approximately 1 K-pop dance, so he didn’t know if he’d really suit that category. “And the last category is an English genre, so a foreign song will play and you just have to dance free style to it!”  
  
   Sicheng nodding along, moving his eyes back to the leaflet. “It sounds cool,” he smiled. “But I don’t have a team?”  
  
   “Well – that’s the proposition,” Cheng Xiao smiled. “You can join our team if you want!”  
  
   The 18 year old smiled softly, and began to think. Cheng Xiao really had been nice to him so far. It wasn’t just her nice spoken manner, or the soft way she looked at Sicheng, still with apprehension but with a glimmer of empathy. Cheng would often smile to him when she saw that he walked into the lecture hall, or exchange small talk with him very briefly at the start of practise. He didn’t know her enough to call her a friend yet, but supposedly, if Sicheng joined this ‘society’, then maybe that could change.  
  
   “Okay. Sure!” Sicheng nodded.  
  
   “That’s great! I’ll give you my number after our next lecture because I forgot my phone,” she giggled to herself. “And then I’ll text you directions and stuff. But cool! I’ll see you around, Sicheng-ssi.”  
  
   “Thank you!” Sicheng nodded. “See you later.”  
  
   Cheng Xiao then proceeded to turn around, a slight wobble to her walk. Sicheng had to supress a giggle when she walked into a table by accident, profusely apologizing to the owners sat before it. It painted an image of a clumsy girl who didn’t know her own footing, but then Sicheng remembered the exquisite performance she conducted for the class, and immediately rid of the thought.  
  
   “What was all that about?” Kun wondered, having sat back down at his seat due to the length of their conversation.  
  
   As the pair walked out of the Starbucks and back onto the street, Sicheng paused in his steps.  
  
   “I – I think I just joined a club?”  
  
   Kun’s surprised laughter filled the deserted side street as the pair made their way back to the campus, Sicheng not being able to supress his confused grin. He never knew that a simple trip to Starbucks could lead to so many new opportunities, both with the dance society, and with Yuta.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh sicheng! he finally stopped ignoring the blatant fact that yuta took him out on a date ... it's only gonna go up from here uwu
> 
> thank you SO MUCH FOR 500 HITS !! i feel so proud of this fic and so thankful for everyone that's bothered to give it the time of day <3 the comments are so sweet as well !! thank you all so much
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter!!  
> have a good day/afternoon/evening :)


	6. the feeling of Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng goes to the dance society that Cheng Xiao reccomends. Then, after a swim in the gym's pool, fate and irony come together to trick Sicheng into facing his dilemma head on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're back!!  
> before we begin let's just clarify that the regular irregular album is so good... 127 worked SO HARD and i love them so much
> 
> anyway!! enjoy this slightly late chapter :) <3

   Sicheng received a text message from Cheng Xiao earlier that day, the black haired girl quickly exchanging numbers with him at the end of their lecture. In the message, Cheng had listed several of the rules and details about their team for the dance society, the Blue team. One of the rules was obvious – you had to wear blue when attending, as to look unified. Sicheng didn’t even realise that the teams were all colour co-ordinated until Cheng had told him. That was the only major instruction Sicheng had to follow, really. The rest of the rules were either self explanatory, such as don’t turn up drunk, or the rules were cheesy, such as _‘enjoy yourself’_. Either way, wearing a bright blue sweatshirt and a pair of black sports shorts with white trainers, Sicheng was walking through the university campus at 11:40pm. Even though the brisk mid-October winds were sending chills through Sicheng’s body, he knew he had to wear shorts, in order to exceed when dancing. That being said, he was unsure of whether he’d actually participate, but he’d like to know he has the option.  
  
   The route Sicheng took was deserted. He’d never been on this side of campus before, yet it didn’t look too different to the rest of it. The usual red bricked buildings were around, as well as the same off-white concrete side walks and the potted trees alongside the paths. Around this side of campus were the photography and video editing buildings, so Yuta and Kun must be much more well versed in this area than the blonde boy was. In fact, Sicheng was almost 100% certain he was in the wrong area. He’d texted Yuta for help with directions, but was currently waiting for a response.  
  
   And then, as if on cue, Sicheng’s phone, which was between his fingers in his coat pocket, buzzed rather noisily. As the area was dead quiet, the vibrating sound shocked Sicheng more than it really should have. He slipped it out of his pocket, and softly smiled when he saw who the text message was from.  
  
   _‘where abouts are you?’  
  
_    Despite the thawed nature of his finger tips, they began to fly around the keyboard as though it were nothing. _‘Umm… I’m near a quad, it has like a big red sculpture in it’  
  
_    Sicheng’s eyes were resting on the large piece before him. It was shaped in a tear drop, yet with holes popped out in random parts of the sculpture. The sculpture was on a marble pedestal, with a plague on the front of it. It was too dark for Sicheng to read – combined with the fact that he didn’t care enough to bother. The sculpture served its purpose as a landmark for Sicheng to help gain directions from.  
  
   _‘alright’  
   ‘wait there’  
  
_    The younger gasped slightly. Was Yuta suggesting what Sicheng thought he was?  
  
   _‘No, Yuta don’t walk all the way out here’  
  
_    Sicheng immediately sent his response. He didn’t want Yuta wasting so much time to walk in the cold just so he could act all cordial for Sicheng. Yuta loved to play the knight in shining armour card, but for this time, Sicheng really didn’t want him to abuse it. Not only did Sicheng have Yuta’s well being in mind, what with the cold and all, but he also felt incredibly nervous about seeing him after the whole ‘date’. Now that Yuta was a confirmed homosexual, and more or less thought to have an interest in Sicheng, that just made things awkward between the boys. Well – it was awkward for Sicheng, at least. Just the thought of Yuta seeing him again was enough to both excite and terrify him. It was an electric combination.  
  
   _‘im not dw’  
  
_     _Huh_. Despite not wanting Yuta to walk all the way out to the other side of the university, Sicheng’s mind took a complete 180 turn. Maybe he did want Yuta to come pick him up after all.  
  
   _‘Then what am I waiting for?’_ Sicheng typed, looking around. The area was still empty, Sicheng letting out a slight shiver.  
  
   _‘he’s nearly there’  
   ‘just a few more minutes :)’  
  
_    The blonde boy looked up from his phone. _He?_ In the distance, he could see a figure moving towards him. He was dressed colourfully, so that dismissed the thought that it was Taeil or Johnny. They _must_ be on standby nearby, though. Either way, Sicheng watched the figure bound towards him. As he got closer, the spiked up blades of black hair moved into Sicheng’s focus, as well as the bright white and purple striped top he was wearing.  
  
   Luckily for Sicheng, Ten was _also_ wearing sports shorts. The 18 year old let out a gentle wave to the older boy, who had since ran up to the quad and was breathing heavily.  
  
   “Sicheng!” Ten smiled. “I didn’t know you joined the dance society?”  
  
   “Y-Yeah,” he nodded. “A friend from my class recruited me onto her team,” he softly whispered.  
  
   “Aw, that’s cool,” the older grinned. “Come on, you can tell me about it on the walk there.”  
  
   Sicheng moved next to Ten, and they walked off of the quad, in the opposite direction as to which the younger was going to walk alone. Ten looked more radiant than usual: underneath his eyes were glitter, which sparkled a hue of purple whenever the pair walked beneath a street lamp. Sicheng had spent the time applying a light wing of eyeliner, but he was beginning to feel slightly under dressed. Or maybe Ten was just over dressing.  
  
   “So – I see you’re in team blue, then,” Ten smirked.  
  
   “How could you guess?” the younger grinned, hoping his sarcasm would come across. It clearly did, judging by the snort that Ten let out, before covering his mouth his hand, Ten’s eyes widening in shock. The pair just began to laugh though, Ten smirking at the ridiculous sound he let out. “And I’m guessing you’re part of team purple, then?” Sicheng said, once the laughter had subsided.  
  
   “Ah, we’re _actually_ the official dance team for our fraternity, _LCA,_ but yeah – we’re otherwise just known as team purple,” Ten grinned. Sicheng was wondering what those letters meant, but in all honesty, he doubted that Ten even knew himself. “Yuta hyung can’t dance at all – as you’ve probably seen,”  
  
   The pair began to laugh, remembering the awful attempt he made at moving to the rhythm last Friday, when they went clubbing.  
  
   “But, if your team manages to win that weeks dance society, then you get a trophy and – _prestige,_ almost. And so being the leader of the fraternity _bla bla bla,_ ” Ten pointed his finger at his mouth, letting out a fake retching sound. “Yuta hyung wanted a team to try win each week. We’re pretty good, but, to be honest it just depends on which songs come up.”  
  
   “Sounds cool,” Sicheng nods. “I don’t really know many K-pop songs, so… I guess there’s a first time for everything.”  
  
   “Ah, don’t worry, the Blues are known for doing really well at that category, so you shouldn’t have to go up if you don’t want to.”  
  
   Ten and Sicheng kept walking, turning a corner. The sound of music was beginning to get louder and louder, as they continued weaving through alley ways, tunnels, and walking across the university’s many lawns.  
  
   “When did you join this ‘society’, then?” Sicheng wondered, looking towards the older.  
  
   “About a year ago,” Ten said, thinking to himself. “Yuta hyung saw that I was majoring in dance and so he practically forced me to go to it,” he laughed. “He said it was good for practising dance as well though, so he was probably just looking out for me at first. The trophy was just an added bonus.”  
  
   “That’s sweet,” Sicheng whispered. Yuta’s character was growing on Sicheng with each passing day, especially through learning what kind of person he was to his friends.  
  
   “Speaking of sweet, I heard he took you out? On Saturday?” Ten wondered.  
  
   The younger wordlessly nodded.  
  
   “Did you have fun?” the black haired boy whispered.  
  
   Sicheng calmed himself down ever so slightly. He was incredibly nervous talking to Ten about his date with Yuta, as he knew whatever he reported to Ten would end up with the light brown haired boy anyway. But why would Sicheng lie?  
  
   “Yes, it was really nice,” Sicheng smiled. “It was confusing though.”  
  
   “How come?” Ten instantly asked.  
  
   “I just – I didn’t know that it was a _date_ ,” the blonde boy whispered. “I thought Yuta hyung was straight… I didn’t think he took me out for that reason.”  
  
   Ten softly laughed. “Really?”  
  
   “Yeah. I’m just a bit confused, about – how he feels. Because I’m just so… clueless, yknow? I have no idea what I’m doing,” Sicheng sighed. The pair had to begin to speak louder, as the volume of music was increasing with each footstep.  
  
   Ten softly patted Sicheng on the back. “Sicheng, trust me, you have nothing to worry about,” he whispered.  
  
   The younger just looked at Ten with a hint of confusion. It was too late to ask him any more though, as they had arrived at the amphitheatre. Sicheng didn’t even realise they were there yet, until he looked down. The amphitheatre seemed to have been built into the side of the hill, with the steps from the ground Sicheng was currently stood on descending down, so technically, Sicheng was on the top floor, despite being on ground level. At the bottom of the numerous amounts of steps was a large empty space, with flashing disco lights and several box speakers all stacked up on each other. Amidst the rows were different groups, all in their representative colours. It was an interesting sight, seeing pockets of different hues splashed out amidst the stone grey of the amphitheatre’s bricks.  
  
   Before Ten could start running down the steps to the group of boys in yellow and purple, Sicheng let out a soft sentence. “Thank you, Ten…” he hovered over an honorific.  
  
   “ _Hyung_ ,” he finished. “Any dongsaeng of Yuta is a dongsaeng of mine,” the boy winked, before flying down the stairs. Sicheng pulled out his phone quickly, just to check the time. It was 11:58pm, meaning the competition would begin any minute now, but that’s not what caught his attention – the several messages from Yuta did that job.  
  
   _‘did he find you?’  
   ‘did you get there safe?’  
   ‘sichengie??’  
  
   ‘I’m fine,’_ Sicheng sent, feeling guilty for apparently throwing Yuta into some sort of panic. _‘I’m here now. Thanks for sending Ten hyung.’  
  
_    He grinned after typing hyung, and shoved the phone back in his pocket. He felt accomplished to be able to call another person hyung. His friendships were steadily growing, something he thought would be impossible. As Sicheng stood at the top of the steps, he looked around for the group of blue teenagers, before seeing Cheng Xiao fiercely waving at him from down below. With a soft gasp, Sicheng started to walk down the steps, walking past the Red and Teal groups respectively. He squeezed down the row, before reaching his team.  
  
   “Okay, everyone!” Cheng called out, ringing a silver bell that she had apparently brought with her. It seemed completely useless, as the blasting music drowned the soft tingling effect out completely. “Meet our newest member! This is Lee Sicheng!~”  
  
   The group tentatively raised their hands in greeting. Sicheng then let out a kind smile, and bowed, followed by a proper introduction. As Sicheng’s eyes drifted over the team, he was pleased to see that he had some recollection of the members; after all, several of them were in Sicheng’s dance class. Cheng was obviously on the program as well, but so was one of the other girls that stood out during the showcase. Sicheng wasn’t sure, but he was pretty sure her name was Seulgi. Some of the other girls were on the program too, but he couldn’t remember much. Either way, the team’s reception seemed to be slightly cold to Sicheng, but he was hoping that they’d all warm up to each other.  
  
   Sicheng took a seat on the edge of the row, keeping his legs closed and his hands on his knees, whilst sitting next to Seulgi. She looked different than she had done during the showcase, now a vision of blue instead of red. The girl was wearing a blue crop top with a white skirt, and a large aqua bow in her hair. She only momentarily turned to look at Sicheng, giving just a brief smile.  
  
   Suddenly, a loud klaxon sounded. Sicheng practically jumped out of his skin, shocked at the piercing noise, causing a few of his team members to giggle at him. It made him feel at ease, as Sicheng couldn’t detect any spite or hatred behind the laughter. Regardless, their attention was now all focused on what would be the area in which performances would take place if this amphitheatre was used for it’s _actual_ purpose. A girl walked out, dressed in a tight, short black dress, with multi coloured pom poms decorating her double ponytailed jet black hair. In one of her hands was a microphone, whilst in her other hand was a red solo cup.  
  
   _Right_. Sicheng remembered Cheng saying how most people usually arrived drunk.  
  
   “Alright!” She giggled into the microphone. “Let’s get this started then. You all know the drill, I hope. Category one! Send down your soloist!”  
  
   All of a sudden, the team huddled together. Sicheng stood up and edged closer to the circle, smiling to himself when Seulgi and some other boy widened a gap in order to let him in. Cheng had her arms around 2 boys next to her, with 1 wearing a blue muscle shirt and the other a light blue vest.  
  
   “Okay, game plan!” she giggled. “K-poppers, you’re all gonna sit this out, okay? Wait until next round.”  
  
   Suddenly, a number of the group nodded. Sicheng was oblivious to what was happening, what kind of strategy was being drawn up, but he didn’t mind. He felt included, even if he didn’t quite understand the ins and outs of the competition.  
  
   “Dancers, who feels confident tonight?” she smiled. All of a sudden, a small number of people dressed in blue raised their hands. Sicheng kept his hand close to his side; to be honest, he’d be perfectly fine just watching the show and taking notes for next time. That is, if he enjoys it enough that he actually wants to participate.  
  
   “Okay, so – for this round, lets send up… Lisa?”  
  
   A ginger haired girl with bangs turned her head to Cheng. She nodded eagerly, receiving a few high fives from the people surrounding her. Another harsh klaxon sounded, Sicheng turning his attention back to the front. From the pockets of colours around the amphitheatre’s steps, separate members began departing, entering the spotlight at the bottom. Sicheng made way for Lisa, who gave a slight smile to him, and watched as she joined the group of 11 other students on the ground floor. The rest of the blue team sat down, training their attention on Lisa. Sicheng didn’t recognize any of the other members who stood in the spotlight, but he found it rather eye catching that they all formed a rainbow when positioned in a line.  
  
   Suddenly, the presenter moved to the front of the line, and checked her phone. She then brought the microphone to her lips, and called out –  
  
   “ _Telemark, heel pull, chasse!_ ”  
  
   Instantly, the students got into their dance positions. The crowd began to cheer as their respective members began to execute the dance moves, Cheng leading the blue team’s cheering for Lisa. Sicheng’s team mate was performing excellently, much better than the green team, who’s member had fallen over in a fit of laughter half way through their heel pull. Once everyone was in their final positions, the presenter moved forward towards the student stood in bright orange, and raised their hand upwards. The crowd began to clap, with everyone in the spotlight bowing to each other (apart from the drunk ones, who were just staggering about rather belligerently). Orange’s team members, who were luckily on the other side of the amphitheatre, were jumping up and down with glee, screaming their member’s name over the loud club music that was accompanying the classical dance moves.  
  
   Next up from the blue team was Cheng herself. Unfortunately, she slipped ever so slightly on her cross-body lead, but she definitely wasn’t the worst. Sicheng was noticing a recurring theme by this point – several of the teams, in particularly green, lilac and black – would always send in their drunk participants. The rest of the teams would at least try, but Sicheng would be lying if he didn’t find the drunken teenagers attempting high level salsa moves yet landing flat on their faces _somewhat_ amusing. Last to go up from the blue team was a gentle boy called Daehwi, who Sicheng remembered as being one of the youngest on the dance program. He thought he stood a chance of winning the category when he glided down the steps, but once he saw the competition, Sicheng’s hopes left immediately. Standing next to him in white and purple was Ten, confidence exuding from his body. He looked incredibly smug a few minutes later after the 3 rd and final round of category 1, when the host was lifting his hand above his head, announcing the purple team as the winner. Daehwi ran back to the blue team, but was met with encouragement from the team, everyone (even Sicheng!) commenting on how well he did.  
  
   Once the 2nd category was announced, the majority of the blue team rushed down the steps. Whilst most teams just sent down around 3-4 members, the blue team had a solid 5 people ready to dance to the choreo. Those who remained sitting down were Sicheng, Seulgi, Daehwi and a few other girls.  
  
   The first K-pop track started pumping, and it was almost surprising at how quickly everyone began to move in sync. It was a like a large machine, compromised of a rainbow of different colours, all moving at the same time. Sicheng found himself hooked on watching it, and grinning when the blue team even managed to change formation. Cheng took the centre position for Sicheng’s team, members from other teams even cheering for her. Sicheng began to cheer as well, clapping loudly for his teammate.  
  
   “We’re doing so well!” Daehwi gasped.  
  
   Sicheng turned to look at him, and nodded.  
  
   “Y-You’re name is Sicheng, right?”  
  
   The blonde boy turned to look at Daehwi. He was incredibly short, and had ashy brown hair. His face was round and he had a cute button nose, resembling that of a mouse. The boy was clearly an extremely young looking person, Sicheng finding it surprising that they were in the same year at university.  
  
   “Yes, it is,” he responded.  
  
   “Cool! It’s like – it’s cool to meet you. Properly, that is,” Daehwi whispered. “You’re nothing like I thought you were.”  
  
   Taken slightly aback, all Sicheng could do was chuckle. “What did you think I was like?”  
  
   “I thought you were evil… but like, you don’t _seem_ evil~”  
  
   Sicheng rolled his eyes, letting out a laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you or anything.”  
  
   “That’s good, then!” Daehwi giggled. “I um… I just kind of wanted to say sorry, though.”  
  
   Another K-pop song made it’s rotation onto the speakers, the crowd scrambling to get back into their formations. Sicheng looked at Daehwi with curiosity in his eyes. “Why?”  
  
   “Because, when Shownu was being a dick,” he quickly clamped his hand over his mouth. “Sorry. I mean – when Shownu wasn’t being nice, I just watched. I laughed even, but now I feel bad. You didn’t deserve that.”  
  
   Sicheng just shrugged his shoulders. “It’s fine. What he said turned out to be wrong, anyway,” he smiled.  
  
   “True! He was _so_ mad after class, after you upstaged him,” Daehwi grinned to himself.  
  
   “Was he really?”  
  
   “Yeah. He still hates you. But I’m pretty sure it’s just jealousy.”  
  
   Sicheng just pursed his lips. “Well… I can’t win them all.”  
  
   “Being jealous over you is dumb, anyway,” Daehwi continued, looking down at the dancing students. The host was walking around them, pointing at certain people, which caused the boys behind her to scribble something down on a notepad. “Because I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as you.”  
  
   Sicheng didn’t know what he was expecting, but he certainly wasn’t expecting such a heartfelt compliment. He genuinely smiled at the boy, before letting out a slight chuckle.  
  
   “You shouldn’t think like that. Dance isn’t a competition like it is here,” Sicheng pointed to the bottom of the amphitheatre. “It’s just an art form.”  
  
   Daehwi nodded, smiling at Sicheng. “You’re pretty cool for a mafia kid,” he giggled slightly.  
  
   All Sicheng could do was smile in return. Suddenly, the K-pop music stopped, another loud klaxon ripping through the cold air. Even though Sicheng was wearing shorts, he didn’t feel that cold, probably due to the static excitement that was running through the atmosphere. The blue team had accumulated the most points in category 2, resulting in a cheering group of young adults bounding up the steps towards those who had been watching, who were giving them a warm reception and congratulations. Sicheng joined in with Daehwi in clapping for them, and exchanging kind comments. Once Cheng had sent down 2 girls who Sicheng hadn’t seen before to dance in the final category, the final competition began. Several songs which Sicheng could vaguely remember playing on the radio every now and then started to blast through the speakers, and watched the dancers begin to move in time and rhythm to the beat. It was clear that some of the students knew the song, and could easily tell when the beats were, whilst other members were anticipating certain drops in the rhythm, and hoping their moves would fit the tempo of the song. By the time the chorus began to play, the careful dancing turned more into a – Sicheng didn’t want to call it a _clusterfuck_ , but that would be highly appropriate. The competitors began pulling out all kinds of stunts that were entertaining, such as one of the members of the red team pulling out balloons from her jean pockets and blowing them up, or another member of the orange team taking out a party popper, which she pulled on the beat drop. Sicheng wished he had 10 more eyes to immerse himself in the carnage which was taking place. Daehwi began telling Sicheng about how the 3rd category was ranked more on entertainment than any real ‘skill’, making the whole event a lot less confusing in his eyes.  
  
   Checking his phone, Sicheng was surprised to see it was nearly 1am already. The last of the English songs had stopped playing, and the host hoisted herself up onto a crate, with the help of one of the boys that had been helping her judge throughout the evening. Once she’d adjusted her skirt ever so slightly and laughed to herself, she brought the microphone to her cherry red lips.  
  
   “Okay! What a fun night! Everyone deserves a round of applause!~” she smiled, the crowd instantly clapping their hands together, with some groups doing it much more enthusiastically than others. As the night progressed, so did the flow of alcohol, which had lead to the vast majority of students becoming a rowdy mess. Despite the competition aspect, the whole society felt very communal; everyone was enjoying themselves, and no one had particularly let the competitive nature take over. Once the applause whittled down, the host popped a hip, and checked her phone. “And the winner is…”  
  
   Sicheng was startled slightly as everyone began to stomp their feet, imitating a drum roll effect. The blonde boy joined in as well, although somewhat less confidently. Once she brought the microphone to her lips, everyone suddenly stopped at once.  
  
   “Team _Orange!_ ”  
  
   Team blue’s members let out a few groans, but then began to clap and cheer nonetheless. From the other side of the amphitheatre, they saw the representatives from orange all standing up, jumping up and down in excitement. Unlike team blue, they were all wearing white clothing, but with orange accents. All of them had an orange bandanna somewhere on their outfits, Sicheng noting how stylish they all looked. The entire team beckoned down the steps, the host bowing and handing them a cheap, acrylic trophy. That didn’t stop them from raising it above their heads, soaking in the glory from the applause, as though it were a trophy made from 24 carat gold. After the celebration song had finished, in which goodbyes were said as everyone died down from the thrill of the society, everyone began to walk back up the steps, the crowd dispersing into the night. Sicheng put his coat back on, and took his earphones out of his pockets, tuning into some K-pop. He didn’t usually listen to this type of music, but he figured he’d have to get used it. Plus – he’d be lying if he said that the songs played weren’t incredibly catchy.  
  
   Regardless, as he was walking back to the dorm, he let a satisfied smile bloom across his lips. He managed to go to an entirely new social situation which he was terrified of, and actually _enjoy_ himself! Sicheng was certain he’d go next week as well, although the week after may be difficult, as it was so close to his birthday.  
  
   Nonetheless, Sicheng had a skip in his step as he strolled back. He couldn’t _wait_ to tell Yuta all about it.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   A week and a day had passed since Sicheng had attended his first dance society. Last night, Sicheng attended the competition once more, but simply sat and observed. Cheng had given him a list of K-pop songs to learn the choreographies to, as well as a list of English songs that may prove useful to listen to once in a while. Watching was fun, but Sicheng was starting to gain an ache to perform for everyone. Hopefully that’d happen next week, but next Thursday would be the day in between Yuta’s birthday and his own, and Sicheng wasn’t intending on making plans. _Just in case_ Yuta suggested something special.  
  
   Sicheng enjoyed the dance society, but he would much prefer if Yuta took him out on another date.  
  
   The blonde boy flashed his student card over the scanner, the barrier separating Sicheng and the gym unlocking with a gentle click. He pushed his weight onto the metal bar, walking into the main lobby. Sicheng was wearing black athletic shorts and a simple white t-shirt, earphones plugged into his ears, blasting some of the English songs on his playlist. He didn’t understand the words, but dance movements were fluttering before his eyes, pouring ideas into his mind for what he could do if he were to perform to one of them. Regardless, with his gym bag in hand, he pushed forward on the Men’s changing room door. The initial smell of sweat and cheap deodorant smacked Sicheng in the face, his trainers squeaking on the beige tiled flooring. Once he’d passed a corner, Sicheng was presented with the main changing room area. It was much wider than those at the dance studio, with separate little ‘wings’ of lockers and changing benches. There were mirrors and sinks at intervals, Sicheng looking at his own appearance as he strolled past them. The walls of the changing room had wood panelling on the bottom half, with a contemporary grey pattern filling the rest of the space. Sicheng turned left, pleased to see that the changing room was mostly empty. Nonetheless, he pushed forward on one of the wooden cubicles, ensuring him some privacy.  
  
   Once he’d locked his cubicle door, he let out a short breath, placing his gym bag on the bench. Taking his earphones out, he quickly slipped his phone out of his pocket and paused the music, the tinny buzzing coming from the earbuds stopping once he’d tapped the button. After placing his phone on the bench, Sicheng kicked off his shoes, and slipped his shirt off. He opened the zip to his gym bag, taking out his swim shorts, which were coloured in a gradient of blue to purple. Once they were out, Sicheng got out of his shorts and underwear, before slipping the trunks on. He put all his belongings in the gym bag, and zipped it up. Having done a few warm up stretches in the privacy of his cubicle, he took the gym bag into his hands, and with his towel in hand, unlocked the door. Sicheng took a key out of one of the lockers, and having opened it, shoved the gym bag inside. He then made his way through the changing rooms towards the pool, taking quick glances at his lithe figure in the mirrors.  
  
   After a quick shower, Sicheng’s body was glistening as he opened the door to the pool. The gym had an incredibly large pool, with a huge curved roof. There were 2 pools: 1 was a kiddy pool, with some parents taking their kids out on a Friday morning to go swimming, whilst the other pool had several lanes, where a few avid swimmers were doing laps. Walking by the side of the pool, Sicheng knelt down and put his towel and locker key by the wall. He then walked to the edge of the water, and began to descend down the metal ladder, greeted by the surprisingly cold sensation that quickly wrapped itself around his body. Letting out a shudder, he kept pushing himself further into the water, hoping to get over the initial shock rather quickly. Once Sicheng was completely in, his breathing steadied, quickly getting used to the freezing sensation. In order to warm himself up, he began doing breaststroke down the pool.  
  
   For Sicheng, swimming was like second nature. Through the glass panes of the roof, the soft sunlight was floating into the area, creating a tranquil atmosphere in the pool. Sicheng’s mind began to wander as he swam. Next week was pretty busy for Sicheng: he had a history of dance assessment on Tuesday, followed by Yuta’s American football match which Sicheng _promised_ (and was looking forward!) to go to. Thursday he was keeping open, but if Yuta didn’t want to hang out, then he’d go to the dance society. And then Friday was Sicheng’s 19 th birthday, even though it was _technically_ his 20 th in the Korean aging system. Regardless, he was pretty excited for it! He was going to see his Father for dinner, and then stay at home for the Saturday, and maybe the rest of the weekend. It might not seem much for the average social-butterfly, but for Sicheng who wasn’t really used to planning events and remembering times, it was teetering on the brink of overwhelming. Once he’d finished his session at the gym, planning to hit the treadmill for some much needed cardio exercise after a few laps in the pool, he’d go to the library and do some revision for his tests.  
  
   But… he didn’t want to do that. In his body was a simmering desire to just abandon revising, take his phone and call up Yuta. Just to speak to him. Maybe see him again. He hadn’t seen the 3rd year since their date, which Sicheng was completely confused about at the time. By this point, that was nearly 2 weeks ago. As Sicheng continued swimming, he wondered what Yuta was doing right now. He probably had a lecture, going by likelihood, as it was around 9am. Maybe he’d already finished a really early lecture? Or, there was a chance he was still in bed at his fraternity. Sicheng had no idea what his schedule was like. All Sicheng knew was that he had a photography major, so he must be going to classes at some point, and that he was in a lot of sports teams. _Ah –_ that made sense. Yuta was probably spending his time practising, or working out. _Bulking up,_ as he’d eloquently phrased it. There was a chance that Yuta may even be at the gym right now. Whilst the thought sent a shudder of nerves through Sicheng’s body over the thought of seeing Yuta again, he knew it wasn’t an unlikely fact. Yuta had ran into Sicheng after the party at the gym, after all, which was their first time _properly_ getting to know each other. That seemed like such a long time ago now, Sicheng remembering how nervous he was, how frightened he was over the possibility that Yuta would just pack up and run away from him. Nowadays, though, Sicheng had confidence in Yuta’s character. He seemed loyal, and he’d proved himself to be a lovely person 100 times going.  
  
   Ever since Yuta had taken Sicheng out on a date, albeit with the latter not knowing it was a date in the first place, he’d been cast into a different light. To Sicheng, Yuta was such a great person. He was witty, charismatic, brash, bold and confident, but not afraid to be kind and empathetic to other’s feelings either. But when Sicheng began to _really_ think about Yuta, it was as though a lens was put over the blonde boy’s perspective of him. It changed Sicheng from thinking of Yuta as a _friend_ , to something more – a _lover_. When Sicheng thought about the hands that waved to him energetically, thoughts began to shift to what those hands would feel like on his body, what they’d feel like wrapping him into a hug. When Sicheng thought about his lips, and the brilliant smiles they’d cast, managing to turn even the most serious man into a fit of giggles, the focus shifted into a more romantic setting, Sicheng wondering what Yuta’s lips would feel like when they were slotted against his own. It was an odd feeling for the 18 year old. He’d never really had a crush, and therefore had no experience in dealing with them. Sicheng knew he could talk to Kun about it, but Kun seemed to be caught up in dating troubles of his own – which he was completely unwilling to disclose – so Sicheng didn’t want to bother him. And that meant the only other person left that Sicheng could talk to about his feelings was, well, _Yuta_.  
  
   Sicheng had been swimming for a while now, but his inner monologue kept running.  
  
   When Sicheng thought about Yuta, and the whole date, it created a fleeting sense of hope in Sicheng’s stomach. Yuta _definitely_ showed some interest in Sicheng. Whether that interest was still there – well, that was a different question. But at some point in Yuta’s life, he’d seen Sicheng in a different light, perhaps the same light that Sicheng is seeing Yuta in right now. The younger desperately wanted to make it clear to Yuta that he was willing to take things further than ‘just’ friends, but his mind came to a blank whenever he thought about the actual methods of doing so. Yuta was so confident, so easy to talk to. Sicheng trusts him and knows that he won’t judge him. But that didn’t mean Sicheng was terrified out of his skin at the prospect of approaching the older boy and confessing his feelings for him. And even then – what _would_ he confess? Love was too strong of a word to throw around. But Sicheng had an intense attraction towards the other, as though Yuta was a magnet and Sicheng was a piece of scrap metal. It wasn’t sexual, not all the time, it was more emotional. Yuta seemed to understand Sicheng like no one else did – even those that were closest to Sicheng couldn’t decipher his thoughts like Yuta seemed to be able to. Sicheng knew he wanted to see more of him, but he didn’t want to put the label of ‘boyfriends’ on each other so soon. He had to know that Yuta felt the same way, of course. It was an incredibly tricky situation, as if presented with any sign of rejection, Sicheng knew that their friendship wouldn’t last. And Yuta was quite literally the centre of Sicheng’s social life. Everyone that Sicheng knew, besides perhaps Kun and Cheng Xiao, revolved around Yuta. If he lost Yuta – god forbid – then he’d lose Ten, Jaehyun and Yukhei. It was a risky game to play, but Sicheng was certain that he wanted to pursue a relationship with his hyung.  
  
   That being said, they hadn’t seen each other in ages. The next time they’d see each other would be next week on Wednesday, Yuta’s birthday. Should Sicheng get him a gift? That wouldn’t be a problem, of course, but he wouldn’t know what to get him. Or whether it was even appropriate. When would Sicheng find the time to give it to him anyway? The 18 year old would be up in the stands, watching Yuta play on the pitch. It wasn’t as though Sicheng would be able to just throw the gift down to him. And would anyone else get him a present? _Surely_ his fraternity brothers would. But Sicheng was worried that he’d give him a present and no one else would, and therefore he’d stick out, or even vice versa. He wanted to show he cared, but… not _too_ much. Which is the exact opposite of how Sicheng actually felt – because he did, indeed, care _too_ much. When Sicheng really thought about it, the idea of seeing Yuta again was filling his body with dread. Now that it was out in the open – Yuta had taken Sicheng on a _date_ – where did they go from there? It wasn’t as though Sicheng had happily gone _‘That was great! Let’s do it again!’_. If anything, Yuta was probably just as confused as Sicheng was. The 18 year old was anxious about the possibility that whenever they saw each other again, they’d be too awkward around the other.  
  
   All in all, when Sicheng’s mind finished its tangent, it came down to the conclusion that he didn’t want Yuta to leave him. He wanted to develop their relationship, but with no ideas on how to do so, he was stuck in a constant feeling of anxiousness over what will be said and how they’ll react the next time they meet.  
  
   Sicheng paused as he reached the end of the pool. He’d been doing several laps, as his own monologue. Time seemed to have flown past, with the clock showing that he’d spent around 30 minutes in the pool alone. Satisfied with the exercise, he swam over to the ladder and climbed out, gracefully running his hands through his hair. He was dripping wet as Sicheng knelt down and scooped up his towel, balancing it in order to keep the keys resting atop the white fabric. Sicheng then sauntered down the edge of the pool, pushing on the door of the changing rooms, pleased that the intense smell of chlorine was beginning to dissipate in the air. He made sure not to slip on the tiles due to his wet feet, walking past the showers and around the corner, back to the main changing area.  
  
   Luckily, the feeling of irony enjoyed slapping Sicheng around the face.  
  
   He’d just spent the better half of an hour thinking about _one_ person, and how awkward it would be to see him again.  
  
   So naturally, standing in front of Sicheng’s cubicle in the public changing area, was _Yuta_. A very _shirtless_ Yuta.  
  
   Sicheng nearly jumped through his skin upon seeing the athletic body of his hyung. What were the _fucking_ chances that, of all people, and in _all_ the possible places, Sicheng would run into Yuta in the changing rooms. He was pursing his lips, knowing that fate was cruelly laughing and pointing in Sicheng’s direction as he stood frozen, watching Yuta dig through his gym bag. Sicheng was looking at Yuta’s athletic body, seeing the filled out arms and the traces of a six pack, before realising what a massive invasion of privacy this was. He felt paralyzed, as though the soles of his still-damp feet were stuck to the ground with super glue. His face was blushing red by the time Yuta turned from his gym bag with a sleeveless shirt in his hands, catching Sicheng’s eye ever so slightly. The 20 year old turned back to his locker, before doing a double take over the blonde boy. His eyes lingered over Sicheng’s, before turning down, glancing over the younger’s lithe body. Suddenly, Yuta turned his eyes back to Sicheng’s, the older’s cheeks flushing ever so slightly.  
  
   “S-Sicheng?” he let out an airy laugh, a smile blossoming across his lips. “I didn’t expect to see you here,” Yuta cleared his throat slightly.  
  
   The younger just nodded, giggling gently out of pure nerves. He knew seeing Yuta again after the date would be awkward, but trust fate to have them both half naked as well, with Sicheng still in his swimming trunks and Yuta just standing in some loose gym shorts.  
  
   Sicheng swallowed ever so slightly, before speaking.  
  
   “I’ve just – uh, been swimming,” he nodded, trying to keep a conversation going. It’s not that Sicheng didn’t want to speak to him, he just wanted to like… put some underwear on.  
  
   “Oh, really?” Yuta whispered. “I thought you were just really sweaty,” he nodded towards the water droplets that were sliding down Sicheng’s body.  
  
   Maybe Sicheng laughed too loudly at that, mostly out of nerves, but he did appreciate the older’s humour.  
  
   “I’ll like – let you get changed,” Yuta smiled, slipping his sleeveless top on. “I’m gonna go hit the gym though. Are you finished or are you gonna do some more?” he folded his arms, slanting ever so slightly. Sicheng couldn’t quite tell, but he was pretty sure the older was tensing the muscles in his arms ever so slightly. Either way, when Sicheng’s gaze nervously ripped themselves off of Yuta’s biceps, he was met with a dangerous smirk from the older.  
  
   “I was gonna do some cardio,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “Ah, nice,” Yuta smiled, his tone lowering ever so slightly. It was hard for the younger to properly decipher what other’s were implying through their voices, but he was almost 100% sure that there was a hint of disappointment in his hyung’s voice.  
  
   “You know – “ Sicheng quickly said, before stopping himself. “Actually, it doesn’t matter,” he whispered, moving forward closer to Yuta and finding his locker.  
  
   “What is it?” Yuta inquired.  
  
   Sicheng knelt down to his locker, on the 2 nd to bottom row of the possible 5. He was wincing as his head was close to Yuta’s crotch, the older moving backwards ever so slightly. Once Sicheng had scrambled to take his gym bag out, he stood up and looked the light brown haired boy in his hazel eyes.  
  
   “I was just like… thinking that, we could spend this… time together?” he whispered, cringing in the face of possible rejection.  
  
   “Yeah!” Yuta said, almost too enthusiastically. A look of relief washed over his face almost. “Yeah, that’d be nice,” the older nodded. Yuta’s dongsaeng simply smiled, before moving past him, towards the cubicle.  
  
   “I’ll just get changed, then,” the younger nodded.  
  
   Yuta just nodded and smiled, taking a seat on the bench. Sicheng slipped into his cubicle, locked it, before resting his back against the door, letting out a panic-ridden sigh. It seemed okay. Yuta was being his nice self, and the air didn’t seem _that_ awkward between himself. In reality, Sicheng was probably just imagining it all. It was just kind of awkward to be under Yuta’s gaze when Sicheng was wearing barely anything, just a pair of swimming trunks. Regardless, Sicheng discarded of his trunks and dried his body rather quickly, before getting into his shorts and a long sleeved white t-shirt. He then moved to the edge of the cubicle, where there was a handy mirror, and used it to look at his reflection as he brushed his hair with the brush he brought with him. Once he was somewhat satisfied, he packed everything away, zipped up his bag and unlocked the cubicle. Yuta was still sat on the bench, looking at his hands, before turning his attention to Sicheng, standing in the doorway. With soft smiles, the pair walked through the changing rooms and through the door that lead back to the lobby. They walked up to the 2 nd floor, in relatively comfortable silence, before setting their sights on the exercise equipment.  
  
   The older paused, balancing on the heels of his feet. “So, what are you gonna focus on first?” he uttered to his dongsaeng.  
  
   “Probably the treadmills,” he nodded, setting his sights on the treadmills on the other side of the gym.  
  
   Yuta began to chuckle ever so slightly. “Don’t fall off this time~”  
  
   “Hey!” Sicheng laughed, Yuta just grinning incredibly widely. “You know it’s your fault that you surprised me,” he smirked, walking off in direction of the treadmills. Yuta did a quickened walk so he could accompany Sicheng’s side.  
  
   “You can’t have been _that_ shocked to see me,” the older grinned.  
  
   “Well – I was,”  
  
   “Why?” Yuta laughed slightly. “You really thought I was gonna hate you, huh…”  
  
   “Hyung – it’s more because you’re kind of intimidating, but you don’t realise it, which just makes you _more_ intimidating,” Sicheng wondered, as he climbed onto the treadmill and put in his speed. Yuta got onto the one next to him, but just used it to lean on, watching as Sicheng began to jog.  
  
   “I intimidate you?”  
  
   “I mean – yeah, kinda,” Sicheng whispered. “You’re just really confident, and like… know what’s happening all the time.”  
  
   Yuta let out a loud laugh, Sicheng pretending to ignore his hyung.  
  
   “I do?”  
  
   “Yeah.”  
  
   “Well – I don’t know what happening with you,” Yuta said, his tone slightly more serious. Taking notice of this, Sicheng lowered his speed, so he could focus more on their conversation.  
  
   “What do you mean by that?” Yuta’s dongsaeng whispered, barely audible of the whirring of the treadmill.  
  
   Yuta just watched Sicheng’s figure as he ran on the treadmill. “You probably don’t like – realise, that you throw off a lot of mixed signals,” he whispered. Yuta’s confidence seemed to have been drained from him, as he cleared his throat and anxiously scratched the back of his head.  
  
   “Like what?” Sicheng slowed the treadmill down, until it reached 0 mph. He tentatively shifted his body so he was facing Yuta, leaning on the back side of his treadmill. Yuta was leaning forward over the edge of Sicheng’s, and the pair were looking at each other.  
  
   “Well – sometimes, I just feel like, you’re kind of… interested in me?” Yuta wonders. Sicheng feels like he’s been punched in the stomach. _Shit._ “But then other times you act as though you’re not happy to see me,” Yuta whispered.  
  
   Sicheng’s mind was processing this information. He was confusing for _Yuta?_ That idea made no sense in the younger’s head, when Yuta was like a problem Sicheng just couldn’t solve no matter how hard he tried. _  
  
_    “You’re confusing for me too, you know,” Sicheng softly spoke. “I’ve never – agh, I don’t want this to come across as cheesy or dumb or – “  
  
   “Trust me,” Yuta said, reaching over with his hand and placing it around Sicheng’s wrist. The younger didn’t break eye contact with his hyung. “Just say it – say how you feel, _please_ ,” Yuta practically pleaded. He took his hand off of Sicheng’s wrist, bringing it back to holding onto the side of the treadmill. “Ever since I took you on a date, you seem a lot different around me.”  
  
   “Because I didn’t _know_ it was a date,” Sicheng whispered, looking down to his feet. “It’s the first time anyone’s ever shown _any_ kind of interest in me… but even then, I have no idea if that’s what’s happening. I didn’t even think you were into other boys… I was – no, I _am_ – confused over that whole evening. Because I really enjoyed myself, but I didn’t want to get any like… false hope…” his voice trailed off.  
  
   Yuta cleared his throat. He said, with an air of confidence,  
  
   “It was a date.”  
  
   _Fuck_. Sicheng blushed, even though coming to this conclusion himself several days ago.  
  
   “If you need me to spell it out for you, Sichengie, then I will – _I am interested in you_.”  
  
   The blonde boy was locked into a trance by Yuta’s hazel eyes, piercing into his soul. To others, perhaps Yuta’s tone may be seen as condescending, but Sicheng more than welcomed it. He needed things to be laid out in front of him as clearly as possible. Nothing scared Sicheng more than the unknown, and being in university, hanging out with lots of new people, it meant that all of these new feelings to Sicheng are exactly that – _unknown_ , never experienced before. To have some concrete knowledge that Yuta is interested in him, it just made Sicheng’s body feel all fuzzy. He couldn’t explain it, but he could explain the smile that was beginning to form on his lips.  
  
   “R-Really?” Sicheng whispered. Yuta simply nodded, ever so slightly. “B-Because I’m like… interested in you too.”  
  
   “Why didn’t you say?” Yuta whined, yet a smirk was growing on his lips.  
  
   “Why didn’t _you_ say?” Sicheng refuted, folding his arms. The pair, still gazing at each other, began to laugh a bit too loudly for so early in the morning. Sicheng began to blush profusely, looking at his trainers instead of the handsome 20 year old in front of him. He then began to use his fingers to fiddle with the hem of his long sleeved t-shirt, tentatively looking back up to Yuta’s gaze, which was still honed in on Sicheng’s face. “So – where do we go from here?”  
  
   “I could take you on another date, but you know – an _actual_ date, so you don’t get confused and stuff,” he smirked.  
  
   “I’ve never been on a date before, hyung,” Sicheng giggled, stepping of the treadmill. Yuta began to walk by his side as they walked through the gym. There was no way Sicheng was going to be able to focus on working out now, so they abandoned the idea. “I can’t help but feel clueless.”  
  
   “It’s cute~” Yuta grinned, Sicheng simply rolling his eyes. “No but – you’d _know_ it’s a date the next time. I promise. That is, if you want to go on another date with me,” he smiled.  
  
   “Yeah! Yeah I would, I’d like that,” Sicheng quickly said. “The only reason I was acting like… ‘different’ was because I thought you were straight and I was scared that if I did ask if it was a date then you’d be grossed out and not speak to me,” he chuckled to himself.  
  
   “I’d never do that,” Yuta grinned. “Especially because – well, I’m gay, so,”  
  
   “See I know that _now,_ ” Sicheng laughed. “But it’d of been good to know before you took me on a date.”  
  
   “I suppose,” Yuta shrugged. “But you had fun, right?”  
  
   Sicheng instantly nodded. “I loved it.”  
  
   “So… do you wanna like, do it again?”  
  
   “What, go to the diner?”  
  
   “No,” Yuta laughed, holding the door open for Sicheng as they began to go down the stairs of the gym. “I just meant go on another date. For _sure_. So there’s no ambiguity or anything.”  
  
   “Yes. I’d love to go on another date with you.”  
  
   Sicheng squealed internally. It was _happening!_ It was actually happening! Yuta _liked_ Sicheng! He was completely over run with all the good feelings that could be felt, his emotions running ecstatically all over his body. It was too much of a challenge to supress his smile, Sicheng grinning widely at Yuta. Luckily, the older was returning a smile, mixed in with chuckles every now and then.  
  
   When they walked out of the gym, soft smiles and goodbyes were exchanged, with Yuta promising to provide a time and a place for the younger for an ‘official’ date.  
  
   And even though Sicheng thought he’d never hear his hyung utter those words, that didn’t stop the feeling of intense happiness wash over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> agh! they FINALLY got over each other... perhaps we can start to get into some fluffier (and SPICIER??!) stuff now...
> 
> thank you so much for reading anyone that's been sticking around is AMAZING AND CUTE and even if you haven't then you're still AMAZING AND CUTE
> 
> my twitter handle is @orbityuta and my curious cat is george_uwu so if you wanna chat! hit me up hehe
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING have a good day / afternoon / evening!


	7. the feeling of Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng celebrates Yuta's birthday with him after the older's football game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> regular got their first win!! i'm so proud of our boys
> 
> this chapter is another 1-scene chapter, because i got carried away hehe
> 
> super soft content!! enjoy

   The week had dragged on, but it was finally Wednesday – Yuta’s birthday. Sicheng had spent the week with his head in the books, for the most part. He had his theory assessment on Tuesday, which was much more serious than many of his classmates had anticipated. The dance studio had exam tables that were set in rows, with the same chairs everyone sat on during the dance showcase so many weeks ago. Sicheng had studied well, but he still found the exam to be difficult. Luckily, when he was leaving class with Cheng Xiao, she found it equally as hard, the pair exchanging ideas and answers that they had written. When they were walking out, they overheard Shownu bragging over how he hadn’t studied once but still felt as though he aced the test, resulting in an eye roll from Sicheng. And there was also a girl, a black haired girl, walking next to Shownu, who the blonde boy recognized from her high ponytail to the slight pop of her hip.  
  
   It was the waitress from him and Yuta’s date.  
  
   Except now, Sicheng knew her name. _Shin Ryujin_.  
  
   He didn’t know much about her. All he remembered over the few weeks from being in a class with her was that whenever Sicheng glanced over in her direction, she’d be sending death glares back over to him. Sicheng began to grow even more of a dislike for the girl once he’d realised that Yuta had actually taken him on a date, so her attempts at advances were considered even more rude, despite being futile.  
  
   Regardless, Sicheng didn’t let her get to him. He was currently sat cross legged in front of his dorm room’s mirror, applying some hair gel with his brush. Kun was lying on his bed, already prepared to go out, simply waiting for the younger to finish getting ready. Sicheng was wearing a red sweatshirt with light blue jeans and white trainers. He also had a white scarf on, as the night in the stadium was going to be pretty cold. Kun, who was busy texting someone, was wearing a white shirt with a red scarf and his long black coat, with black jeans and trainers. Eventually, with a flick of the hair brush, Sicheng put it aside and stood up, brushing his jeans ever so slightly.  
  
   “Ready?” Kun asked, looking up from his phone. Sicheng nodded, picking up his black puffer coat and slipping it on. He then took his backpack from where it was sitting on the bed, slinging it over his shoulders onto his back.  
  
   “Have you got Yuta’s present?” Kun wondered, getting up from his position on the bed.  
  
   “I think so,” Sicheng said, opening the zip. Sure enough, sat at the bottom was a teal wrapped package with a red bow on top. Sicheng had spent all week worrying about getting Yuta a birthday present. In all honesty, he’d never got anyone anything for their birthday, so it was a first time experience. Sicheng didn’t want to buy something that was too expensive, so Yuta wouldn’t feel under pressure to do the same, so the 18 year old decided to get his hyung a nice leather bag for his camera. The blonde boy didn’t really know what he could get Yuta, with the only interests he knows his hyung has were sports and photography. Either way, hopefully Yuta likes what Sicheng gets him.  
  
   The pair then walked out of the dorm, and locked the door. They sauntered through the building until the cold October night greeted them. Kun and Sicheng walked across the lawn and towards the street, the latter taking his phone out of his pocket in order to read the directions Yuta had texted him. It wasn’t too far away, as the pitch in which they were playing on was near campus. As far as Sicheng was aware, it was just a simple area, not like the massive stadiums they have in America. The University they were attending put its budget towards the institutes of art, not massive stadiums for sports or labs for science.  
  
   “So… you and Yuta,” Kun said, walking down the street. It wasn’t too busy, but there was a steady flow of people in town at 7:30pm on Wednesday.  
  
   “Me and Yuta,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “What are you two?” the older wondered. “He told you he was interested at the gym last week, right?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “He did,” he said with a slight smile.  
  
   “I think that’s _so_ cute,” Kun grinned, patting Sicheng’s back. “You’re interested in him too though, right?”  
  
   “Definitely,” Sicheng responded almost too quickly.  
  
   “That’s good then! Are you going on another date with him?”  
  
   “Yes!” the blonde boy grinned, a skip in his step. The crowd had thinned out since they took a turn down a side street, the soft glow of orange street lights providing them with sufficient lighting. Since it was the end of October, the nights were arriving quicker and colder, blanketing their neighbourhood of Seoul in darkness. “We’re going on a date tomorrow.”  
  
   “Tomorrow?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “It’s kind of ominous, actually – he just said to dress warmly and that he’s going to pick me up at nine.”  
  
   “Well, you probably won’t be going to dinner then. Seems too late,” Kun wondered.  
  
   “Yeah… maybe he’s taking me somewhere?”  
  
   Kun nodded. “Sounds like it.”  
  
   The pair walked down another side street, before emerging back out onto a main road. Kun walked in front of Sicheng through the thick crowd, before it eventually simmered down, Sicheng walking at a quicker pace to walk beside his friend.  
  
   “What about you, Kun-ssi?” Sicheng asked. “How is your love life?”  
  
   Kun cleared his throat. “It’s uh – there’s not much to say, really.”  
  
   “How come?”  
  
   “I don’t know. Ten’s not interested and neither am I, I guess. So…”  
  
   “Oh,” Sicheng whispered. “Sorry.”  
  
   “No, it’s not your fault,” Kun smiled. “Sometimes things just don’t work out.”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. The pair looked left and right before crossing the road. On their right, they were now walking beside an ornate gate, separating the urban area from several fields. In the distance, at the end of a path that lead across the grass, were flood lights illuminating some modest wooden stands.  
  
   “If you need to like talk about anything, then please don’t hesitate,” Sicheng smiled. “Honesty is the best policy, after all,” he grinned.  
  
   Kun pursed his lips, a look of incredible guilt washing over his face. He paused before replying with a quick “Okay”.  
  
   Once they’d been walking for a while down the street, they arrived at a metal gate, leading towards the stretching path. Sicheng pushed it open, holding it for his friend, before closing it once more. The path they were walking on was off-white, much like the campus, despite the sports fields being an isolated area to the actual university. It was badly lit, the only saving grace being that Sicheng and Kun could see the large floodlights ahead of them. Beyond the pitch was the skyline of Seoul, usually hidden behind the townhouses when they were closer to campus. Blinking lights from the city were mixing in with the overhead lights of airplanes drifting through the skies, accompanied by the lazy cover of clouds. Kun and Sicheng’s breath was visible in the cold air, with the sound of hubbub and other students increasing in volume as they walked forward. Eventually, they reached the entrance to the bleachers, which sat isolated in the middle of the field, surrounding the pitch. The American football pitch was much smaller than those on TV, but that didn’t seem to matter. Kun lead Sicheng around the pitch, a barrier separating the crowd from the play area, to one of the emptier stands behind the goal post. Littered amongst the bleachers were students, but other than that, it was quite a quiet atmosphere in comparison to the massive gatherings that happened at football events abroad. American football wasn’t as celebrated here, especially at an _art_ university. Once they’d climbed the steps, Sicheng walked into an empty row of seats near the top, opening the folded seat and resting on it. Kun sat next to him, going _‘brr’_ at the weather. Sicheng looked around the pitch at the stands, looking for any indication as to where the players actually were. There was a stirring feeling in Sicheng’s gut of both trepidation and excitement over the thought of seeing Yuta. He couldn’t see his hyung anywhere on the field, but beyond the bleachers opposite where the first years were currently sat, there seemed to be a long building with a steep roof. If they were anywhere, they were probably getting changed in there. _That made sense_.  
  
   Sicheng checked his phone, surprised to see that Yuta had left him a message.  
  
   _‘sichengie!! u here yet? :)’  
  
_    _‘Yes !’_ Sicheng quickly sent. _‘Good luck ^^’  
  
_    Within moments, the blonde boy’s phone buzzed once more.  
  
   _‘thank youuu’_  
   _‘i have birthday luck ;)’  
  
_    ‘ _Then there’s no excuse for you to not win ~’  
  
   ‘i’ll win for you hehe’  
  
_    The younger felt breathless, smiling like a fool at his phone.  
  
   _‘What if you lose? ^^_ ’  
  
   _‘i won’t! i promise!’  
   ‘i’ll 100% win’  
  
   ‘If you don’t win you can’t have your birthday gift :)’  
  
_    Sicheng was smirking at his phone. He glanced over at Kun, who was texting equally as fast to someone. He made a point to ask him about it later, but other than that, Sicheng paid him no mind, turning back to his conversation with Yuta.  
  
   _‘you got me a gift???????’  
   ‘you’re such a sweetie x’  
  
_    Sicheng would be lying if he said he didn’t think of throwing his phone down the bleachers and onto the field upon seeing the kiss that Yuta sent via text. His whole body felt electrified, grinning at the ‘x’ that Yuta had sent. It was a good feeling. Sicheng was feeling greedy – he wanted to savour the rush Yuta kept gifting him. It was a nice change from constant fear. Not that the fear had completely evaporated, but Sicheng was beginning to feel more comfortable whenever Yuta would try to flirt with the younger.  
  
   Suddenly, a loud horn sounded from somewhere on the pitch. It was followed by loud music, and a presenter walking into the middle of the field. He began to announce the teams, and that it was a _‘friendly’_ match, meaning that it had no real significance to the football season. Not that Sicheng really cared, he just wanted to watch Yuta doing something he enjoyed. It clearly meant a lot to him. Plus, Sicheng’s point of being here was to cheer Yuta on, the older himself saying how he liked the support when his fraternity brother’s had other obligations.  
  
   Once the presenter had stopped rambling on, Sicheng letting out a soft shiver, a door beneath an archway in the bleachers opened, causing the cheering to truly begin. 2 teams, 1 dressed in red and the other dressed in white, ran out from one of the wings of the bleachers. Sicheng instantly stood up and started cheering, energized by the _x_ and the fact that there weren’t many people in the bleachers, so he could ‘let loose’ for a while. He was wincing as he looked into the crowd of players, searching for Yuta. From the distance, it was difficult, Sicheng having to lean over the empty seats in front of him to focus on the names on the back of their jerseys.  
  
   Sicheng’s eyes trained onto the number 14, with the name ‘Jung’ labelled above it. The jersey was coloured red, which Sicheng was _almost_ certain Yuta was playing for. It took a few moments, but Sicheng realised that the boy he was watching was actually _Jaehyun_ , Yuta’s friend. He was grinning, slapping someone’s back. The boy that Jaehyun was chatting to had the number 19 on his back, with _‘Wong’_. When he turned around to face Jaehyun, the blonde boy stood in the stands let out a soft laugh when he realised that it was Lucas. The same Lucas that tried to flirt with him.  
  
   _Hey –_ maybe that’s why Yuta acted so weirdly?  
  
   Once a few more minutes had passed, Sicheng’s eyes landed on Yuta. The light brown haired boy had the number 92 on his back, his eyes flitting around the stands. He was looking anxiously around, not engaging in the conversation around him. Yuta looked more striking than usual, his muscles being showcased in the tight jersey he was wearing. Whilst some of the other players on the field were tentatively walking around, Yuta seemed as though this was his stage. Even though he _looked_ nervous, it was obvious to anyone that Yuta belonged on the field.  
  
   Sicheng wasn’t _quite_ prepared for the moment in which Yuta caught his eyes.  
  
   The older instantly smiled, and did an enthusiastic wave, jumping ever so slightly on his feet. Sicheng was laughing at this point, returning a wave, before moving his hands to his mouth and letting out a loud cheer. Yuta only stopped waving when he got called over to the huddle of his players, Sicheng’s hyung enthusiastically throwing his arms around the members of his team.  
  
   And then, once a whistle had been blown, a formation was created and the game began. It was obvious that Sicheng had no idea what was happening as the game progressed into the night. Kun would lean over and point at the players, explaining some of the mechanics, such as why they began to run into each other, or why they would try kick the ball into the goal every now and then. But Sicheng didn’t really care; he just liked to watch Yuta play, a wide smile on his face as he’d run across the pitch with the ball in his hands. The crowd would cheer when Yuta would get taken out, yet Sicheng would let out a sharp gasp, only for his shock to be dispelled by Yuta jumping back up straight away as though nothing had happened. Every now and then, when Yuta was too far back, he’d turn to find Kun and Sicheng in the crowd, waving to them, Sicheng cheering even louder than he had been in the minutes before. It wasn’t hard to blend in amongst the bleachers, despite only a few other people sitting on this side. Sicheng found that if the rest of the crowd cheered, it made sense to join in. The goals and the points made no sense to the blonde boy, but that didn’t stop him from smiling all the way until half time, which was 24 minutes in. Kun patted Sicheng on the back and took him down to the procession stand near the edge of the field, waiting in line for a few minutes. Presented with the option, Sicheng chose a large hot dog, smiling goofily at the squiggly pattern of ketchup that decorated it. Kun just ordered a regular coke, and with their items in hand, they walked back up the steps towards their seats. As if on cue, when Sicheng bit into his hot dog, a whistle sounded and the players began their scramble once more (the 18 year old not even noticing that they got back into position). The initial excitement had since died down, Sicheng sitting in his seat and paying more attention to his meal than the game. Once he’d finished his hot dog, there were only a few minutes remaining. Luckily, the 18 year old caught Yuta sprinting across the field in Sicheng’s direction, his eyes flitting from the empty field before him and to Sicheng. Instantly, the blonde boy stood up and started cheering Yuta’s name, the latter seeming to speed up significantly. The ball hit the ground, and whilst Sicheng was confused on whether this was a goal or whatever, Yuta’s ecstatic cheering indicated it was something good. Kun started cheering as well, as did the rest of the students in the bleachers. Yuta was looking into Sicheng’s eyes from the field with a _proud_ grin, like a puppy showing off a twig he brought home.  
  
   It was cute, that Yuta was trying to impress Sicheng. But it was even cuter because Sicheng was oblivious to what he was trying to do in the first place.  
  
   The final whistle blew, the crowd erupting into their final cheers. Players on the field bowed to each other, and then began waving to their friends in the bleachers, before running off in direction of where they’d entered from. The first years slowly walked down the steps and back into the main flow of people, returning to the large field that separated the stadium to the rest of civilization. They were walking slowly by the side of the crowd, Sicheng reacting to the buzz of his phone in his coat pocket.  
  
   _‘wait for me ^^’  
  
   ‘I am ! Where are you?’  
  
   _ Yuta quickly replied. _‘just finished getting changed x’  
  
_    _Jesus Christ_! It was another x. Should Sicheng start sending them back? He was too nervous, but clearly Yuta wasn’t. The older seemed to think it was acceptable, so why didn’t Sicheng? Everything was out on the metaphorical table before him – the pair _knew_ that they liked each other. They _knew_ that they were going on _another_ date tomorrow. So why was Sicheng still so nervous to go that 1 step further with Yuta, despite the older having no second thought about it? That being said, Sicheng had no idea what went through Yuta’s head. To Sicheng he exuded confidence on the daily, but from their chat in the gym, Yuta seemed equally confused about everything. Regardless, Sicheng bravely typed back:  
  
   _‘Okay ! I’m by the main entrance x’  
  
_    He let out a heavy giggle, quickly closing his phone, scared of whatever response may come. Kun stood next to Sicheng, rapidly typing to someone, before whipping his head to Sicheng.  
  
   “I think I might go home early,” he cleared his throat. “I’m not uh… I’m not feeling too well,” he whispered, Kun coughing ever so slightly. It sounded _fake_ , but Sicheng was oblivious. “You’ll text me when you’re on your way home, yeah?”  
  
   “O-Okay!” Sicheng nodded. Usually he’d be frightened to be left somewhere on his own, especially at some kind of sports event, but with Yuta’s imminent presence, he felt strangely sure of himself. “Get home safe. I hope you feel better soon.”  
  
   “Thank you,” Kun smiled. “It was fun tonight. Yuta will probably take you to a party or something, so make sure you text me when you’re heading back. Okay?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “Will do!”  
  
   With a wave, Kun turned around and joined the rest of the crowd. Sicheng looked around at the flow of people, carefully moving a strand of hair that had escaped his gelled quiff due to the harsh wind that had picked up. The crowd was beginning to die down by now, allowing Sicheng time to appreciate the beauty of where he was. Sicheng _loved_ looking at the night sky. It was one of his favourite things to do. When he was younger, he’d look out the giant window in his room and, as their house was well enough in the country side, watch the stars, uninterrupted by the city’s lights. As of now, Sicheng couldn’t see any stars, but he loved looking at the soft gradient of orange from the skyline’s light, blending into the dark blue of the night sky. It was pretty. Sicheng began to balance on his heels, clearing his throat slightly. He was now the only person stood in front of the bleacher’s entrance, and a small pool of worry was starting to materialize in his gut. Yuta _was_ coming, right?  
  
   Sicheng let out a gasp when he felt someone wrap their arms around his stomach. In any other situation he would’ve let out a shrill scream, but when he heard Yuta’s soft laugh, he knew it was okay. Yuta lifted Sicheng up off of his feet, swinging him around, Sicheng yelling in laughter. When Yuta gently placed him down, Sicheng playfully slapped him on the arm, attempting to catch his breath from both the thrill of being lifted but also the intense physical contact they had just shared.  
  
   Yuta was standing in front of Sicheng with an incredibly wide grin on his face. His hair was wet from the after game shower, and he was wearing a black sweatshirt with a white t-shirt beneath it, poking out from the bottom of the outer layer. He had his black and white backpack slung over his shoulder, presumably full of his football kit and water bottles and such. Yuta had since exchanged his football kit for black ripped jeans and his denim jacket, causing him to look rather dashing in the glow of the bleacher’s lamps.  
  
   “Happy birthday!” Sicheng smiled, Yuta practically hopping from foot to foot with excitement.  
  
   “Thank you! I’m practically an old man now,” Yuta grinned, looking down to his feet, before turning his head back up and looking into Sicheng’s eyes.  
  
   “Ah, an old man wouldn’t be able to run that fast~”  
  
   “That’s true – I did run pretty fast,” Yuta chuckled, his braggy attitude causing Sicheng to playfully roll his eyes. “But I won! I won for you,” he smiled, looking at Sicheng with doe eyes.  
  
   “I saw, you did _very_ well!” Sicheng said, breaking the eye contact by turning to his trainers.  
  
   “Thank you,” Yuta smirked. “Hey, are you busy right now or – do you have plans?”  
  
   “Nope! I’m free.”  
  
   He couldn’t quite tell, but Sicheng was sure Yuta’s smile became more genuine from that moment onward.  
  
   “Do you want to come back with me to the fraternity? The boys and I are just gonna kick back, so it’s not like a party or anything. We could watch a movie, if you want?”  
  
   Sicheng let out a soft smile. “That’d be nice. Are you sure I wouldn’t be intruding?”  
  
   “Definitely. Xuxi is bringing someone of his own, whilst Jaehyun is going out clubbing to make the most of the night. And I have no idea where Ten is,” he chuckled to himself.  
  
   The pair then began to walk down the path, side by side.  
  
   “I don’t want to drink anything though, ‘Cause I have classes tomorrow and stuff,” Yuta whispered. “But you’re welcome to, if you want,”  
  
   “Oh, it’s okay, I have a class as well in the morning. I’m scared that because I’ve never been drunk, that the first time I properly drink I’ll have a horrible hang over and throw up or something,”  
  
   Yuta let out a gentle laugh. “Nah, Sichengie you definitely seem like you’d be able to pace yourself just fine. Me – I was _awful_ at it, drinking just to get drunk. I’m past that point where I’ve had too many hang overs in my life. I’m twenty one years old, now, I need to behave like a true adult,” he giggled.  
  
   “Aw, I think you’re mature enough,” Sicheng smiled.  
  
   Yuta just let out a brief chuckle, enjoying the compliments.  
  
   “Oh, by the way, before we actually get to the fraternity,” Sicheng whispered. “Is this a date? I can’t tell.”  
  
   All Yuta did in response was laugh, rather loudly for the empty field. They were nearly at the end of the path, the gate separating the main road getting nearer with every step. Yuta just patted Sicheng’s back sympathetically, the older resisting the urge to hang his arm protectively around his dongsaeng’s shoulder.  
  
   “It can be a date if you want, Sichengie,” he smiled. “But I haven’t prepared anything. It was more of a spur-of-the-moment decision, yknow,” Yuta explained. “Tomorrow – oh _wow_ – that’s a date, definitely. But tonight, it can be whatever you want,” he smiled.  
  
   Sicheng just smiled back at Yuta, looking up ever so slightly to catch his eyes. It was always funny when Yuta pulled away from the eye contact first, filling Sicheng with an unusual feeling of pride.  
  
   “I don’t think you need to prepare loads to call it a date,” Sicheng said softly. “If we’re just hanging out but are like – yknow, both _interested_ in each other,” he whispered the last bit, blushing ever so slightly like a teenager all over again. “Then any time spent together could be classified as a date.”  
  
   Yuta nodded. “I suppose. You know, I don’t usually go on dates and stuff, so this is pretty new for me too,” he grinned. “You always call yourself clueless but I think I am too when it comes to you, yknow,”  
  
   _Fuck_. Sicheng was glad they were in the dark, or else Yuta would be able to tell he was bright pink. One day, Sicheng would be able to resist Yuta’s flirts, and be able to not blush harshly every time the older stepped over the line of _friendship_ and _romantic interest_.  
  
   That didn’t mean Sicheng wasn’t feeling somewhat bold, though.  
  
   “Hyung, you always call me cute, but you can be pretty cute as well,” he giggled.  
  
   “ _Oh fuck off_ ,” Yuta laughed, playfully shoving Sicheng, causing the younger to let out a heavy fit of giggling. “You can’t switch that on me!”  
  
   “Yes I can! I just did~” Sicheng teased.  
  
   “It’s _my_ job to make you blush!” Yuta whined. “It’s weird when it’s the other way around,” he whispered.  
  
   They finally reached the end of the field, Yuta opening the gate and holding it for Sicheng. Once they were back onto the sidewalk of the main street, the boys walked for a few minutes before arriving at a free car park, Sicheng recognizing Yuta’s red car stashed away in one of the corner bays. With a click of his car keys, Yuta unlocked the car and then quickly ran ahead of Sicheng so he could open the door for him.  
  
   “What is your _obsession_ with holding open doors for me,” Sicheng laughed, climbing into the passenger’s seat. Yuta shut the door and then walked over to his side. He threw his backpack into the back seat, and then somewhat collapsed into the driver’s position.  
  
   “It’s just a nice thing to do,” he smiled, putting the key in and moving off.   
     
   “Well – you’re very nice,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “ _Ah_ , to you I am,” the older smirked, checking both left and right before emerging out onto the main road.  
  
   “That would imply you’re not nice to everyone?”  
  
   “I’m not.”  
  
   The blonde boy giggled slightly. “I find that _so_ hard to believe.”  
  
   “What?”  
  
   “Yeah!” Sicheng said whilst playing with his fingers on his lap. “You’re really kind and friendly to like, me, _obviously_ , and then also Ten hyung and Jaehyun and Lucas,”  
  
   Yuta cleared his throat slightly. “So you’re saying I’m nice to my closest friends?”  
  
   “Yeah but – I’m also saying it seems like your personality would clash with the idea of being mean to someone,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “I can be mean too~” Yuta whined, pouting whilst keeping his eyes on the road.  
  
   “Oh really?”  
  
   “Sure can.”  
  
   Sicheng smiled to himself. “Well, who would you think to be mean to?”  
  
   “That Shownu guy,” Yuta said, almost _too_ quickly, as though he had been anticipating the question.  
  
   “Yeah but he _deserves_ it, you know?” Sicheng wondered. “I meant like, you wouldn’t be mean to some stranger who hasn’t done anything.”  
  
   “Oh well of course I wouldn’t do that,” Yuta scoffed, grinning to himself. “People do say I’m kind of cold looking, though. Like I’m unapproachable.”  
  
   “Like who?”  
  
   Yuta stuttered, laughing slightly. “You did.”  
  
   “I _did_?”  
  
   “Yeah! You called me intimidating at the gym last week, remember?”  
  
   The younger laughed to himself. “Yeah… I guess. But it wasn’t so much because you seemed cold, it was because you were really nice even though you knew like – who I was.”  
  
   “Well, if you ever thought I was gonna run off because your Dad is like, a criminal mastermind, then you’re wrong. ‘Cause I don’t judge books by their covers.”  
  
   Sicheng knew he was trying to be sweet, but he let out a laugh regardless. Yuta looked confused as he was driving, listening to Sicheng’s laughter over the sound of the radio. The blonde boy couldn’t help it, bringing his hands to his mouth to preserve his dignity. Yuta’s soft _‘What’_ s’ were blocked out by Sicheng laughing even more, the younger not even realising that the car had been parked outside of the fraternity. Once he’d turned the engine off, Yuta just watched Sicheng laughing, a smile on the former’s face.  
  
   “S-Sorry, that just sounded _so_ cheesy,” he laughed. Sicheng began to giggle even more when Yuta put on an offended face in jest, one hand on the wheel and one on his own thigh.  
  
   Yuta began to speak. “God I never know if I’ll make you blush or if I’ll make you laugh,” he grinned.  
  
   At that, Sicheng laughed in a softer register, unbuckling his seat belt. He made sure to get out of the car before Yuta, the older pouting when he couldn’t hold the door for his dongsaeng. Sicheng just smiled in mock pride at his hyung, puffing his chest ever so slightly. Once he’d locked the car, Yuta and Sicheng walked side by side up the fraternity’s lawn. The whole building seemed completely different to how Sicheng had seen it around a month and a half ago. Now, instead of drunk teenagers passed out in the front, there were some nice ornaments and potted plants. Yuta opened the front door to the fraternity, Sicheng tentatively walking in. He was actually quite shocked at the difference – now that it was properly lit, he could see the beauty of the front lobby, how it was contemporary yet sleek in its design. There were some expensive looking portraits hanging on the wall, which Sicheng was sure he didn’t see the first time he came here. When the younger walked over to admire them, Yuta sauntered over behind him, observing the portrait as well.  
  
   “Oh yeah this is the first time you’ve been back since the party, right?” Yuta wondered, looking around. “Must look different,”  
  
   Sicheng nodded, looking from the painting towards his hyung.  
  
   “We hide all the expensive stuff before throwing our parties, just in case,” the older smiled. “Anyway – would you like a drink?”  
  
   “Yes, just some water please,” Sicheng smiled, following Yuta into the kitchen. The pair of them were both still wearing their outer layers, in an attempt to regain the warmth that the October night had stolen from them. Throughout the fraternity, noises of footsteps above could be heard, but the atmosphere was much more _domestic_ than it first appeared to be on Sicheng’s first week, where he was feeling overly anxious over being ‘found out’ by the partygoers. Now, it felt completely different. With Yuta by his side, he felt unstoppable. The pair arrived in the kitchen, with Yuta opening a cupboard to find a glass. He quickly retrieved one and threw it under the tap, filling it with cold water for his dongsaeng. Once he’d set it on the counter for Sicheng and put one of those ridiculous swirly straws in it (causing Sicheng to giggle), another of the fraternity members walked into the kitchen.  
  
   He had very sharp facial features, with a slight part in his lips, showing off larger than average front teeth. His face was very sleek but defined, as was his black hair, which was gelled to the inch. The boy was wearing a black and white striped shirt, with grey track pants and white socks. Upon seeing Sicheng, he folded his arms and looked towards Yuta, as though asking for an explanation.  
  
   “Hey Doyoungie,” Yuta smiled, leaning on the counter. Sicheng stood awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of his coat.  
  
   “I see you’ve brought a guest,” Doyoung said, eyeing the blonde boy up and down.  
  
   “Yes, this is Sicheng I told you about.”  
  
   Suddenly, Doyoung’s entire attitude shifted. He was coming across as cold and scrutinizing, but upon learning that the guest was Sicheng, a giant smile spread across his face. Doyoung bowed in greeting, introducing himself properly, with Sicheng following suit. Sicheng could remember in conversation that Doyoung was in his 3 rd year alongside Yuta, and to the fraternity, he was like the nagging Mother. The 18 year old felt as though he was meeting Yuta’s parents, except that Yuta’s parents wouldn’t be younger than him, nor would they be a black haired frat boy.  
  
   “H-Hello,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “Sicheng! We finally meet,” Doyoung smiled, leaning on the edge of the door way. “Yuta hyung _never_ stops talking about-“  
  
   _“Alright!”_ Yuta shouted, cutting Doyoung off. Sicheng was just laughing to himself ever so slightly, especially when Doyoung put his hands up in mock surrender, giving the youngest a reassuring wink. “We were just about to go watch a movie,” Yuta said, moving over to Sicheng and throwing his arm around the younger’s shoulder. Instead of doing what he’d _usually_ do and freeze under the nerves, Sicheng was shrouded in an unusual air of confidence, and leant into the contact. This must of surprised even Yuta, as he flinched for a second, not expecting Sicheng to react in such an unusual way (for him).  
  
   “Ah well, if you’re going into the lounge then beware, ‘Cause Xuxi and um – some guy are in there,” Doyoung noted. “And you know what Xuxi is like.”  
  
   Yuta just let out a chuckle and a roll of his eyes, Doyoung departing with a smile to both boys. Still with his shoulder under Yuta’s arm, Sicheng was guided into the lounge. The younger could still vaguely remember his way around the fraternity from the party, but Sicheng was more certain of his way around the upper floor where the pair of them had spent the majority of that night. Soon enough, the boys entered the lounge, with 2 figures cuddling up to each other on the couch. Except, they were probably doing something more than _just_ cuddling, if the fact that they quickly separated onto other parts of the couch in a mere second was anything. Yuta let out a scoff when the sound of Yukhei’s zipper could be heard over the soft din of the movie playing on the TV. Sicheng scampered behind Yuta, after giving a polite nod of greeting to both boys, who were sporting red faces and heavy breathing.  
  
   The oldest cleared his throat ever so slightly.  
  
   “So – what are we watching?” Yuta smiled, an underlying tone of annoyance present. He collapsed onto one of the couches, the one opposite Yukhei and his ‘partner’. Sicheng took the seat next to his hyung, Yuta’s legs spreading instinctively as he let out a sigh of satisfaction now that he was finally sat down.  
  
   “Um – “ Yukhei struggled, turning his gaze towards the screen. It was clear that he had absolutely _no_ idea what he was watching, and neither did the pretty boy sat beside him.  
  
   Whilst Yuta folded his arms, scrutinizing his dongsaeng, Sicheng took the time to observe the boy that was accompanying Yukhei. He was slim, with an innocent looking face, contrasting greatly with the swollen nature of his lips or the purple mark that was fresh on his neck. The boy had messy brown hair, and was wearing a chequered shirt. He was looking down to his feet, head hung in shame, making Sicheng feel somewhat sorry for him. The latter knew for sure he wouldn’t want to be caught by Yuta fooling around in the fraternity’s _lounge_ , of all places. So, when the boy looked up and caught Sicheng’s eyes, he sent him a warm smile in a feeble attempt to cheer him up.  
  
   “That’s what I thought,” Yuta sternly uttered, directing his glares towards Yukhei. “Anyway. Since you guys weren’t exactly – paying attention to the movie, do you mind if we choose something different to watch?”  
  
   Yukhei’s lips opened to refute him, but was stopped when the gentle boy next to him placed his hand on the former’s chest.  
  
   “That sounds good,” he whispered, nodding to Yuta. The light brown haired boy turned his once hostile gaze towards Yukhei’s accomplice, attitude changing as he sent him a warmer smile. Yukhei seemed to be gritting his teeth, avoiding Yuta’s smug glance. The boy moved closer to Yukhei and began whispering to him, Yuta taking no notice as he flicked through the channels. He leaned over to Sicheng’s ear, the younger feeling as though he’d been frozen to the spot with the sudden movement.  
  
   “What would you like to watch?” Yuta whispered, presenting the remote to Sicheng. The younger gratefully took it from the older’s large hands, which still had traces of dirt on them from the football game. Once Sicheng had browsed through the channels, he settled on some foreign spy movie. They missed the first few minutes, but it looked exciting. Sicheng shifted himself so he was closer to Yuta, taking the middle seat of the couch, and pulled his legs up. He was watching the movie with intent, genuinely interested in the plot and the characters, whispering to Yuta every now and then that he enjoyed the soundtrack as well. Yuta amused him, nodding and smiling at the correct time, unknown to Sicheng that the older really wasn’t interested in the movie, frustration with Xuxi still lingering behind his eyes. The blonde boy wasn’t too sure on the reasons behind Yuta’s annoyance, but he could piece it together – it was pretty disrespectful to fool around in a public place, especially when it was your own home’s lounge. To be honest, Sicheng didn’t really care, he was enjoying the spy film. He just hoped Yuta’s mood wouldn’t be affected too badly. The older, who had previously claimed that he was the ‘leader’ of the fraternity, probably had a set of rules to obey. But it wasn’t like Yukhei did something that awful, anyway.  
  
   Sicheng and Yuta could’ve found them in a much worse position.  
  
   An hour had passed by now, the film nearing its end. Yuta had since gotten more comfortable, throwing an arm around Sicheng, which the younger seemed unusually welcoming of. Sicheng had even shuffled up closer to Yuta’s body, resting against him, enjoying the warmth he provided. Yuta’s soft breathing felt strangely intimate to the younger, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t relishing in it. However, what Sicheng was _not_ relishing in was the sight on the couch opposite the pair, with Yukhei and his boy toy noisily making out. The brown haired boy had since climbed onto Yukhei’s lap, Sicheng averting his gaze in order to try give them some privacy. It was beginning to make him uncomfortable, especially as he was currently sat right next to Yuta. Was Yuta hoping _they’d_ end up like that? The thought made Sicheng shudder. Yuta hadn’t initiated anything tonight – that was all on Sicheng, and all he’d initiated was the cuddling on the couch. Not that Sicheng would dislike kissing Yuta, but he felt as though they were too exposed, sitting in a fraternity lounge where anyone could just walk in and see them.  
  
   Suddenly, Yuta leant down to Sicheng’s ear once more, and softly whispered, “ _Do you wanna move somewhere else, so we can leave dumb and dumber in peace_?”  
  
   It was almost as though Yuta could fucking read Sicheng’s mind. He nodded ever so slightly, Yuta retracting his arm from it’s comfortable place around Sicheng’s shoulder. Yuta brought his hands between his spread legs, and cleared his throat ever so slightly. Suddenly, as though the pair opposite Sicheng and Yuta were just remembering that they were still there, they jumped off of each other.  
  
   “We’re gonna give you some privacy,” Yuta said, standing up and stretching ever so slightly. Sicheng followed him, awkwardly smiling at the pair. Without another word, Yuta began to walk out the room into the fraternity’s lobby, whilst Sicheng waited behind. He gently waved to the boy on Yukhei’s lap.  
  
   “It was nice to meet you, uh…”  
  
   “Jungwoo,” he smiled. “It was nice to meet you too, Sicheng.”  
  
   With a final smile, Sicheng rushed out of the room, sliding into the lobby where Yuta was waiting.  
  
   “Hyung!” Sicheng said, quite urgently. “I just remembered! I haven’t given you your birthday present yet,” he whispered, balancing on his feet in front of Yuta. Any sign of annoyance the older was retaining from earlier seemed to have dissipated at Sicheng’s sudden excitement.  
  
   “Oh shit yeah,” Yuta wondered. “Our team won the game, so – it’s what I deserve, after all,” he grinned. Sicheng rolled his eyes ever so slightly, walking to the front door and scooping up his backpack which he’d left there. He then walked back over to his hyung.  
  
   “Can we find somewhere to sit or something? I’m kind of tired,” the younger whispered, a yawn escaping through his lips.  
  
   “We can go to my room, if you want?”  
  
   Initially, Sicheng was hesitant. He was already worried Yuta may be… ‘expecting’ something from the younger, especially when it had been displayed in front of them all evening thanks to Yukhei and Jungwoo. In his mind, Sicheng knew it was stupid to think Yuta would do that. His hyung was so kind, so _accepting_ of Sicheng that obviously he wouldn’t do such a thing. He knew it was naïve but Sicheng really did trust Yuta already. After all, he had no reason not to.  
  
   “S-Sure,” Sicheng nodded, a rush of trepidation running through his body.  
  
   “Just to like – chill, obviously. No funny business,” he smiled. Sicheng followed Yuta up the stairs of the fraternity, before they arrived on the 2 nd floor. They walked past the small sitting area in which Yuta and Sicheng chatted during the fresher’s party. Except this time, there were much less solo cups and drunk teenagers. It was much quieter on the 2nd floor than it was down below, with the soft glow of lamps making it seem much more homely to the younger. Yuta lead him to the end of the corridor, opening the door to his bedroom for the blonde.  
  
   Sicheng wasn’t sure what he was _exactly_ expecting Yuta’s bedroom to look like. But whatever expectations he did hold, they were blown out the water immediately. In Sicheng’s mind, he imagined a cluttered and messy space, much like his car, with clothes all on the bedroom floor and a mix of posters on his walls. He didn’t know why but, Sicheng always imagined Yuta to have bottles of alcohol in his room as well. Either way, he was wrong. Yuta’s bedroom wasn’t the neatest of rooms, but it was much more organized than initially expected. There was a basket of clothes in the corner, next to a chest of drawers with a stereo on top of it. It seemed stupid to Sicheng that he was fearing that he wouldn’t even be able to see the floor of Yuta’s room. The bedroom’s walls were dark red, with a light grey carpet. Hanging on the walls were some sports posters as well as several shelves, with textbooks and folders resting on them. Yuta must have privileges as leader of the fraternity, allowing him to room alone, as there was just 1 double bed in the room, with no signs of any roommate. The room was very distinctively _Yuta_ , from the cans of deodorant on the bedside table to the pile of football boots thrown lazily in the corner. Next to his bed was a pile of CDs, with similar covers and names to those in his car, as well as an extension lead that provided several plugs, Yuta’s phone charger running lazily across the bed sheets. Beside the ajar door on the other side of the room, to what Sicheng guessed was an ensuite, was a plush black chair, with some coats thrown lazily over it. Sicheng enjoyed looking around, walking inside with tentative steps. It felt weirdly intimate to the younger, as though he was in Yuta’s private sanctuary, yet the older was welcoming him in with metaphorical (and perhaps literal) open arms.  
  
   “Sorry – it’s a bit messy,” Yuta whispered, closing the door behind him. Just above the chest of drawers was a window, allowing an observation point for the front lawn. Sicheng noted how dark it was outside, but he didn’t want to leave Yuta’s company. Not yet.  
  
   “It’s nicer than I expected,” Sicheng giggled, turning around to face his hyung. The older was stood with his hands in his pockets, looking at Sicheng with doe eyes. He suddenly shook his head, ridding himself of the cute expression.  
  
   Yuta moved over to his bed, setting himself down on the grey covers. Sicheng was standing at the end of the bed, awkwardly holding his backpack.  
  
   “Oh, the present!” He stammered, dropping his backpack and kneeling down. Once he’d opened the zip, he pulled out the nicely wrapped gift. With a sincere grin, Sicheng wished Yuta happy birthday as he presented Yuta the present with both hands clamped around it’s teal wrapping paper.  
  
   “Damn, this is wrapped so neatly,” Yuta admired, taking the box from Sicheng’s hands. The younger walked over and carefully took a seat next to Yuta, who was ripping it open as though he were a kid on Christmas day. Sicheng bit his lip in anticipation to Yuta’s reaction. With the wrapping paper littering the floor, Yuta carefully opened the box, pulling out the leather bag for his camera. He inspected it with a giant smile on his face, rotating it in his hands as though it were a figment of his imagination.  
  
   “It’s for your camera,” the younger whispered as Yuta started to chuckle.  
  
   Yuta was lost for words, opening his mouth to speak but no words were coming out. “Thank you _so_ much, Sichengie,”  
  
   Sicheng let out a slight gasp when Yuta set the bag down next to him and wrapped the younger into a hug. Gently, Sicheng wrapped his arms around Yuta’s body in return, as the older tightened his hold. To say it felt good would be an understatement – Sicheng was _loving_ the hug. The feeling of Yuta holding him felt like he was securing Sicheng in an ever changing, ever chaotic world. Sicheng let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes as to savour the moment. He knew it was dangerous, but he really didn’t want Yuta to stop the hug. And clearly neither did he, as they were still hugging on the edge of Yuta’s bed for several seconds too long. Yuta detached himself, giggling ever so slightly. It was so crazy to think that the Yuta in the lounge with Yukhei and Jungwoo, the pissed off and intimidating Yuta who sat with his legs spread and arms folded, was now a blushing and giggling mess after a _hug_.  
  
   “It wasn’t a problem,” Sicheng said, patting Yuta’s thigh.  
  
   They sat in a comfortable silence, simply looking at the other and laughing whenever they would catch the other’s gaze.  
  
   “That was a nice hug,” Yuta whispered, his eyes on Sicheng’s. The room was _thick_ with romantic tension, which was both worrying Sicheng but also somewhat enticing him.  
  
   “It was,” he whispered back.  
  
   Yuta cleared his throat slightly. “I hope you don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t wanna, by the way,” he whispered, gently moving his hand to Sicheng’s knee.  
  
   “Thank you, hyung,” the younger whispered. “I really like um…”  
  
   Sicheng blushed red in embarrassment, ending his sentence with a quick _‘never mind’_. The blonde boy was looking to his fingers on his lap when Yuta began to speak.  
  
   “What do you like?” Yuta said very softly.  
  
   “It sounds stupid when I say it out loud,”  
  
   “Nothing you say sounds stupid,” Yuta affirmed.  
  
   Sicheng swallowed, before opening his lips. “I like it when we – _cuddle_ ,” he cringed upon hearing his words. “Like, when we were watching the movie together.”  
  
   Yuta just smiled, wrapping his arm around Sicheng’s shoulder and moving closer. “We can cuddle again if you want?” the older tentatively said. “Just cuddling,” he added onto the end. Sicheng softly nodded, a pleased smile blooming across his face. Upon seeing that, Yuta edged backwards onto the double bed and swivelled himself so his head was now on the pillows. He gently patted the side of the bed next to him, Sicheng wriggling over next to Yuta’s side and laying down as well. Yuta then shifted his body so his and Sicheng’s sides were touching, and wrapped his arm around the blonde boy’s shoulder. Still slightly perplexed over where he could touch, Sicheng moved his body so he was lying on his side, and moved further into Yuta’s arm. His hand hovered over Yuta’s chest, wordlessly asking for some kind of permission. Upon sensing his trepidation, Yuta used his free hand to press Sicheng’s down. Another wriggle meant Sicheng was now lying on his front, resting his head on Yuta’s shoulder, with the older moving his hand further down Sicheng’s back. Sicheng’s leg over spilled onto Yuta’s, the scene instantly becoming more intimate.  
  
   The younger was afraid of many things – cuddling being one of them – yet here he was, resting on Yuta’s body with their leg intertwined. Sicheng’s eyes fluttered shut, content to listen to the steady sound of his hyung’s breathing.  
  
   “You smell nice,” Yuta whispered, his fingers tracing circles on Sicheng’s back. Sicheng just let out a soft, airy laugh against Yuta’s chest. “I didn’t mean that in a creepy way,”  
  
   “No it’s okay,” Sicheng whispered back.  
  
   Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sicheng knew this was too far. His limitations were being stretched, especially when Sicheng knew he was enjoying their cuddle session on Yuta’s bed. The calls of sleep were growing louder and louder, with Sicheng _knowing_ he had to go home soon. But there was a devil on his shoulder who was telling him to let go of his worries, to fall asleep on Yuta’s chest.  
  
   “It’s getting – “ Sicheng yawned, covering his mouth before putting his hand back on Yuta’s chest. “It’s getting late. I should go,” he whispered. But when Sicheng moved to get up, Yuta just brought him back down, whining in a comical fashion. He didn’t have the energy, nor the desire, to challenge it, so Sicheng just gently sighed against Yuta’s chest and closed his eyes once more.  
  
   The last thing Sicheng remembered before losing consciousness was the sound of Yuta’s beating heart.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO CUTE
> 
> i've been looking forward to these next few chapters especially hehe so thank you for reading !!
> 
> as always, my twitter is @orbityuta and my curious cat is george_uwu :)
> 
> have a good day / afternoon / evening !


	8. the feeling of Exhileration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng is wracked with confusion when he wakes up in Yuta's bed and not his own. But everything makes sense later that night, when Yuta takes him on their first 'proper' date.

   Sicheng’s eyes gently fluttered open.  
  
   Instantly, he knew that something was wrong. No, not wrong – _different_.  
  
   He was curled up in bed, his fingers gripping the sheets in which the blonde boy was currently lying under. A familiar smell was surrounding him, which in turn created a warm fuzzy feeling in the boy’s body. Sicheng’s knees were pulled up to his chest, the metal of his jean belt resting against his stomach. Confused, he looked underneath the covers, realising that he was still in his outfit from last night. He slowly sat up, looking around the foreign room.  
  
   _Oh fuck_.   
  
   This was Yuta’s room. He’d slept over.  
  
   Thrown into somewhat of a panic, Sicheng began to recall the events of last night. There was the football game, going back to the fraternity, watching that movie, giving Yuta his birthday gift and then – _oh my god_ , did they cuddle? Suddenly, the thought that Sicheng and Yuta had gone further flashed across the 18 year old’s mind, but dismissed it upon realising he’d only fallen asleep on his chest. Which was still deeply worrying, because as Sicheng was looking around the bed, his fingers gliding across the cold and neat sheets, he began to wonder where Yuta was. Too many questions were beginning to transition through Sicheng’s mind like a slide show that can’t be stopped: What time was it? Where was Yuta? What would Kun and Yuta’s friends think of him when they learn he stayed the night? It’s not like they had sex or anything, but Sicheng _had_ just slept in Yuta’s bed. Presumably alone, because Yuta was no where to be found.  
  
   Sicheng began to look for his phone, fingers tracing the sheets in an anxious speed. He then delved his hands beneath the covers and slipped his hands into his jean pockets. Luckily, his wallet was still on him, but he had no idea where his mobile was. Tentatively, Sicheng leaned over to the bedside table, eyes wandering in search of his phone. On the floor the charging cable was leading somewhere, Sicheng following it until he had to remove himself from the warm covers and wriggle down to the foot of the bed. When he reached it, there was a phone plugged in, but he could tell it wasn’t his. Nonetheless, Sicheng clicked the home button, presented with a foreign lock screen background and a multitude of texts. As well as this, the blonde boy managed to see that the time was 06:49am. Somewhat placated, a breath of relief was released by Sicheng as he realized that he wouldn’t be late for his 9am class.  
  
   Once Sicheng sat up, he looked over the end of the bed, and let out a surprised gasp, his body physically jolting.  
  
   On the light grey carpet was a sleeping Yuta. He must of taken bed covers and a pillow from someone else’s room, as he was comfortably lying down on the floor, his eyes sealed shut. Guilt began to fill Sicheng’s body when his eyes glanced over Yuta’s figure. He’d made Yuta sleep on the fucking _floor_. On his birthday, of all days. And whilst Sicheng was touched that Yuta didn’t take the initiative to sleep in the same bed as him, seeing as Sicheng would’ve had a fucking panic attack had he woken up, that didn’t stop the blonde boy from feeling annoyed at himself for being so selfish. He was internally beating himself up for not thinking of Yuta when he let himself drift off whilst they were cuddling.  
  
   As Sicheng sat on the bed, his eyes couldn’t help but wander over Yuta’s body. He was covered up by bed sheets, of course. But the bed sheets only covered from the light brown haired boy’s knees up to his chest. It begged the question: was Yuta naked? From where Sicheng could see, Yuta wasn’t wearing any clothing apart from a pair of white socks, with his bare arms and bare legs on display. It made Sicheng feel incredibly awkward, especially as the situation was very… _‘pervy’_ , seeing as he was watching a potentially naked man sleep.  
  
   The 18 year old was so confused on what to do next. Should he just try go back to sleep, knowing that Yuta was asleep on the floor? Should he wake Yuta up, disturbing him further? Or should he just leave silently? All of those methods were deeply worrying for the younger. He didn’t want to come across as rude, but he also didn’t want to allow Yuta to remain in his cold state on the floor. And Sicheng had places to be, such as his dance class that was beginning in a few hours.  
  
   Biting his lip, Sicheng made his decision.  
  
   He leant down from the foot of the bed, and put his hand on Yuta’s bicep. Sicheng then began to shake him, hoping the older would wake up. It took a minutes worth of prodding and shaking, but eventually Yuta’s eyes began to flicker, his body wriggling. Slowly, Yuta opened his eyes, meeting Sicheng’s nervous ones that were looking down on him. The older boy jumped in shock momentarily, before focusing in on Sicheng’s face, and then letting out an airy laugh. Yuta’s head went back to his pillow, his eyes closing once more.  
  
   “Good morning,” he whispered, Yuta’s voice drenched in sleep.  
  
   Sicheng cleared his throat, brows furrowing at how casually Yuta was acting. “I – I slept over?” the younger wondered.  
  
   Yuta sighed, moving his body so he was facing the bed. The bed sheets shifted ever so slightly, revealing more of his bare chest. Sicheng diverted his eyes, and changed his posture so he was sitting up.  
  
   “Looks like it,” Yuta said, eyes still shut.  
  
   “But you’re sleeping on the floor,” the younger whispered.  
  
   Yuta stretched his arms ever so slightly, and sat up. The bed sheets fell down his torso, revealing more of his toned body. Sicheng blushed upon seeing the black band of Yuta’s underwear, instantly averting his gaze. Sensing the younger’s awkwardness, even though he was still extremely tired, Yuta adjusted the sheet so it was covering him up slightly more.  
  
   “’Cause you fell asleep and I didn’t wanna wake you up, but I didn’t want to get in bed with you without like – consent,” he whispered, Yuta rubbing his eyes. “It was so cute,” he grinned.  
  
   Sicheng let a smirk grow on his face. “Shut up,” he blushed. “I’m sorry for making you sleep on the floor – I didn’t mean to like, fall asleep.”  
  
   “Sichengie don’t worry about it,” Yuta laughed, looking up at the blonde boy on his bed. After a brief moment of silence, the older just observing his dongsaeng, he opened his lips to whisper. “Did you sleep okay?”  
  
   The 18 year old was trying his hardest not to look at Yuta’s muscular body, setting an intense gaze on his fingers in his lap instead. “Y-Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s just weird going to sleep in clothes I’ve been wearing all day,”  
  
   “You can use my shower if you want,” Yuta nodded.  
  
   “I can?”  
  
   “Sure! Technically we just spent the night together so,” he laughed slightly, Sicheng returning a soft giggle.  
  
   “At least it wasn’t a date,” Sicheng whispered. “That’d be a pretty sucky end – falling asleep on the floor.”  
  
   “It’s fine, I just stole Ten’s bed sheets, so it was pretty comfortable actually,” Yuta laughed to himself. “He wasn’t using them. Guess he spent the night somewhere.”  
  
   Sicheng suddenly gasped. “Oh my god, hyung – what if people think we… yknow…”  
  
   There was an awkward pause between the pair as Yuta looked at Sicheng expectantly, waiting for him to finish the sentence. Eventually, when Yuta realised his dongsaeng wasn’t going to proceed, he let out a short sigh.  
  
   “ _Had sex?_ ”  
  
   “Y-Yeah,” Sicheng blushed. Yuta just let out a soft laugh.  
  
   “Nah, they won’t think that, don’t worry,” Yuta whispered. He suddenly shifted the topic, before Sicheng could open his lips in reply. “I’m gonna go shower and stuff – unless you want to go first?”  
  
   “Oh, do you mind?” Sicheng asked, sitting up slightly. “I feel so grimy and stuff right now,”  
  
   “Understandable – be my guest,” Yuta smiled, returning to his lying position. Sicheng clamoured off the bed, carefully stepping over Yuta’s legs and walking into the ensuite. Once he’d closed the door, he turned around and observed the state of the bathroom. Luckily, it had more or less the exact same layout as Sicheng’s back in his shared dorm with Kun. However, it was very _obviously_ a frat boy’s bathroom, as the sink and shower were littered with products, whilst Sicheng kept his shared ensuite much more tidy. It wasn’t as dirty as Sicheng imagined it, allowing himself to remain surprised by every new discovery he makes about his hyung’s personality. When Sicheng took off his red sweatshirt, he felt rather uncomfortable, knowing that Yuta was on the other side of the door. The feeling was multiplied when Sicheng rid himself of his jeans and underwear. If Yuta accidentally opened the door – which he had no reason to – then he’d see Sicheng completely exposed. It was very unsettling as Sicheng walked over to the shower whilst feeling particularly vulnerable. Before turning the shower handle, he made sure the door was locked. Greeted with a clunk, Sicheng let out a reassuring sigh, and hopped into the steaming shower. He only spent a few minutes washing his body, quickly jumping out and drying himself. Sicheng got back into his clothes from last night with a grimace, making a mental note to walk back to his dorm so he could get into a new outfit and brush his teeth.  
  
   Sicheng just left his hair in its natural state, flopping lazily over his eyes. He tentatively unlocked the door and walked back into Yuta’s room. The older, who was lying on his bed in a grey t-shirt and black shorts (Sicheng thanking God that he’d changed), greeted him with a smile. Yuta then excused himself to the bathroom, Sicheng finding that he was now alone in the bedroom. He opened the blinds to Yuta’s room and looked outside. The late October night was still lingering over Seoul, with the area still plunged in darkness. Sicheng turned his eyes back to the bedroom, searching for his backpack. It was stashed by the door, the blonde boy walking over and opening it. Thankfully, he found his phone inside, pulling it out to find a multitude of texts from Kun.  
  
   _‘Sicheng are you coming home yet?’  
   ‘Sicheng?’  
   ‘Sicheng are you still at Yuta’s’  
   ‘Sicheng answer me’  
   ‘???’  
_  
   A pang of guilt rang through Sicheng’s system. He quickly texted back.  
  
   _‘Sorry, I stayed over’  
  
_    The phone shut with a resolute clicking sound. Sicheng stood back up and sat down on Yuta’s bed. His mind began to reason with him, after the slight panic from before. _So what_ he’d spent the night in Yuta’s bed. It’s not like Yuta was showing any regret or anger at Sicheng for it. If anything, the older seemed like he enjoyed it. Sicheng, now that he was thinking of it, enjoyed it as well. He liked the new sensation that came with cuddling Yuta, and was surprised to see himself reaching such a level of intimacy with the 21 year old. It was unknown territory that Sicheng was stepping into, but he was filled with anticipation on whatever will come next. Now that he’d cuddled with Yuta, had his arms around him and fell asleep to the melody of his beating heart, other ideas didn’t seem so daunting to the blonde boy. Maybe – maybe _kissing_ Yuta wasn’t such a frightening concept anymore. He kind of felt bad for Yuta in that respect. Yukhei had managed to score with Jungwoo last night, and so Sicheng was scared Yuta was jealous of the frat boy for almost ‘showing off’ in front of him. Hopefully, Yuta was mature than that, and was happy with the pace in which Sicheng and him were going at, but it gave Sicheng something to think about. He certainly wasn’t making plans to rush their relationship, but the thought of having Yuta be his first kiss was something Sicheng was almost yearning for.  
  
   The door’s lock being unhitched behind Sicheng caught his attention.  
  
   “Don’t look~” Yuta sang, Sicheng catching an image of his hyung’s athletic body covered with nothing but a towel before quickly averting his eyes towards the wall. He shut his eyes as the sound of the drawers opening, with a minute of shuffling being heard, before Yuta announced it was safe to look again. Sicheng slowly turned his head, Yuta standing in the warm glow of the bedside light whilst wearing a blue sweatshirt and grey track pants. Once he’d finished stretching, Yuta offered Sicheng any breakfast, with the younger happily accepting. As it was still quite early in the morning, Yuta himself claiming that he wouldn’t usually be awake so early whilst they were walking downstairs, the fraternity was more or less silent. A few boys were walking around, but when the pair walked into the kitchen, it was devoid of anyone else.  
  
   “What would you like to eat?” Yuta smiled, leaning on the counter opposite from where Sicheng was sat. It was all too… _domestic_ for the younger. He knew he was playing with fire, but he liked the way Yuta was looking at him as though he was the centre of the universe.  
  
   “Please may I have some toast?”  
  
   “Sure~” the older quickly quipped. He moved over to the bread bin and took out a fresh loaf, inexpertly fiddling with the packaging before removing 2 fresh slices. Yuta then propped them into the toaster, leaning down in order to look at the timers and the buttons. The older’s cluelessness was cute to the younger, who was watching with an inquisitive look on his face. Eventually, Yuta figured the machine out, putting the toaster on its highest setting and pulling down on a button. Once the toast popped out, Yuta propped them onto a plate, as well as taking a knife and fork out of a drawer filled with cutlery. Despite his obvious ineptitude, Yuta cockily waltzed back over to Sicheng, as though he had just won a national medal for cooking.  
  
   “How does it feel to be in the presence of such an _exquisite_ chef?” Yuta grinned, sliding the plate in front of Sicheng.  
  
   “Yes Sicheng, how does it feel to be in my presence?” an unfamiliar voice laughed from the doorway. The pair of them turned to look at Doyoung, who was standing in a yellow sweatshirt and sports shorts. Yuta just laughed and approached him, the pair doing some sort of handshake: Sicheng wasn’t entirely paying attention, spreading butter onto his toast from the tub which Yuta had handily placed before him.  
  
   “Doyoungie, you’re up early,” Yuta said, walking back over to the opposite side of the counter Sicheng was sat at. Doyoung walked into the kitchen as well, absent mindedly opening the fridge.  
  
   “Yeah, Xuxi and his play thing kept me up last night,” he growled slightly. All Yuta did was roll his eyes. Once Doyoung had plucked out the carton of milk, he turned to Sicheng. “I didn’t think you’d sleep over, Sicheng,” he smiled.  
  
   “I uh – I fell asleep,” he whispered, face blushing under the implication that him and his hyung had slept together. Doyoung turned to Yuta, with the blonde boy taking a bite of his toast to avoid further questioning.  
  
   “He was just really tired,” Yuta assured to Doyoung, who nodded in understanding but with a confused look on his face. “Usually people bring a change of clothes and a toothbrush to a sleep over but,” the oldest shrugged, grinning at Sicheng.  
  
   A _sleep over._ That sounded much less daunting to Sicheng than having to admit that he _‘spent the night’_. After he’d swallowed his mouthful of toast, the 18 year old opened his lips to speak.  
  
   “Well, next time I’ll keep that in mind.”  
  
   “There’ll be a next time?” Yuta wondered.  
  
   Doyoung chuckled to himself as he finished pouring his milk into a bowl full of cereal. Sicheng had frozen, realising the weight of his words. He continued chewing on his toast to save him some time to think of a suitable response, but when he was finished, Sicheng’s mind was still lacking in ways to reply.  
  
   So he just went for the obvious approach.  
  
   “I-If you want,” Sicheng whispered. He was fully aware that Doyoung was in the kitchen milling about, and was 100% listening in on their conversation. “I quite liked staying over, I just feel bad because you slept on the floor…”  
  
   “Trust me Sicheng, he’s fallen asleep in worse places,” Doyoung laughed. Just as Yuta was about to reply, he turned around and (with playful intent) shoved Doyoung’s shoulder. The black haired boy just kept chuckling as he picked up his bowl of cereal and walked out of the room, his laughter still being heard from further down the hallway.  
  
   “Anyway,” Yuta laughed slightly. “You don’t have to worry about that. Doyoung’s right, yknow – usually on my birthday I would just get drunk and fall asleep somewhere, so it was nice to wake up in my room for once~”  
  
   “Where have you woken up before?” Sicheng asked, looking into Yuta’s eyes as he bit into his toast.  
  
   “Cars, alleyways, clubs, fields, you name it and I’ll of probably passed out there once.”  
  
   “Gosh – how do you manage to fall asleep so easily?” the blonde boy giggled, taking the last bit of toast into his mouth.  
  
   “I’m a deep sleeper. Like, a _really_ deep sleeper,” Yuta whispered. “I don’t even know how you managed to wake me up this morning. Once, Ten pushed me off my bed and I still didn’t wake up. He just left me on the ground,” he laughed. Once Sicheng had finally finished his toast, Yuta politely took the plate away and shoved it into the sink. The younger got up and cleared his jeans from any crumbs, before using some kitchen towel to wipe his mouth. After some more small talk was exchanged, Sicheng collected his bag and walked to the front door, insisting he wanted to walk back to his dorm and change clothes before class.  
  
   “Thank you for coming to watch me play, last night,” Yuta smiled, leaning on the doorway. Sicheng was stood outside, hands in his coat pockets, returning a warm smile.  
  
   “It was fun! Kun and I enjoyed it,” Sicheng paused. “And uh – I also liked last night. I woke up and thought it would be awkward but you’re still being really sweet,” the younger giggled.  
  
   “Ah ~ I’m just _super_ amazing,” Yuta bragged. “Hey, we’re still on for our date tonight, right?”  
  
   Sicheng had all but forgotten. He’d already slept in his hyung’s bed, so the idea of a date didn’t seem that terrifying anymore.  
  
   “Yes! I’ll be ready by nine,” the 18 year old nodded.  
  
   “Perfect. I’ll see you then. And you’re sure you don’t want a lift back?”  
  
   “It’s okay, I like the morning walks anyway,” Sicheng whispered. “I’ll see you tonight.”  
  
   “Okay! Bye, Sichengie,” Yuta waved. Once Sicheng had finished walking down the path that traced through the middle of the fraternity lawn, Yuta finally shut the door.  
  
   Was this the so called _walk of shame_ that Yuta had said most ‘freshies’ have to do at least once? To do the walk of shame, Sicheng thought they must do something counted as shameful in the first place. Sure – Sicheng felt bad for making Yuta sleep on the floor, but he was pretty sure that the walk of shame implied a different kind of act being committed, one which Sicheng most definitely didn’t go through with. There was a strong wind blowing which was harsh against the blonde boy’s face, blowing orange and red leaves off of the trees that lined the sidewalk Sicheng was strolling down. The fraternity wasn’t that far from the dorm, hence why Sicheng thought it’d be okay to walk even in this weather. It was still dark, but there were streaks of orange painting the navy blue sky, indicating sunrise was approaching. Sicheng noted that it wasn’t too busy on the main street so early in the day, at around 7:30 in the morning, yet there were several other students _also_ clearly wearing the same clothes from last night. Whether that be the staggering girls in their sparkly black cocktail dresses, or the boys with mysterious stains on their shirts and extremely messy hair. Sicheng had dignity in both of those areas, at least. In theory, yes, some might argue he was doing the walk of shame, but he didn’t really feel like he was. He had a good nights sleep, a nice breakfast and a shower: Sicheng was _winning_.  
  
   It didn’t take long for him to walk across one of the university’s many lawns and beneath the clocktower, turning to walk up his dormitory’s steps. Once he was inside, he walked up the stairs with soft steps and knocked on his room’s door, just to give Kun a brief warning that Sicheng’s entrance was imminent. He didn’t want to walk in on him changing, after all.  
  
   After a gentle call of _‘Come in’_ from within the room, Sicheng pushed on the door and entered.  
  
   “Sicheng! Where have you been?” Kun gasped. He was already dressed, with a pair of jeans and a tight t-shirt.  
  
   The 18 year old fiddled with his fingers, avoiding Kun’s stare. Even though Sicheng was older than the other, seeing as they were both in first year yet Kun’s birthday was on the 1 st of January whilst Sicheng’s was tomorrow, he still felt as though Kun held more ‘authority’ over him.  
  
   “I stayed over at Yuta’s.”  
  
   “ _Oh my_ – you had sex with him didn’t you?”  
  
   “Kun-ssi!” the younger whined, putting his bag down on the floor and flopping onto his bed. “Of course we didn’t. We just kind of… _cuddled_.”  
  
   “You cuddled?”  
  
   “Yes.”  
  
   Kun was looking at Sicheng with an air of unfamiliarity, folding his arms and judging the younger. “So… why did you stay over, then?”  
  
   “I like… fell asleep.”  
  
   “Whilst cuddling?” Kun asks with an open mouth of shock.  
  
   “Whilst cuddling.”  
  
   The honey haired boy let out a slight breath, before following it up with a slight giggle. “It’s like you skipped the kissing, skipped the sex, and just moved _right on_ to the boyfriend phase.”  
  
   “It’s just cuddling. It was nice,” Sicheng whispered, standing up to move to his drawer full of clothes. He needed an outfit change – Sicheng was 99% sure he _stunk_ right now.  
  
   “Sicheng, _sweetie_ , they’re _frat boys_. Yuta isn’t just a frat boy – he’s the fucking _leader_ of them. You know what frat boys are like, right?” Kun said, whilst Sicheng was rooting through his clothes in an attempt to find a nice sweatshirt. “Usually, they just like to… yknow – _stick it in_ – and then run off. But you’re saying that you got Yuta, the most stereotypical frat boy, to _cuddle_?”  
  
   The blonde boy cleared his throat ever so slightly.  
  
   “He’s different. Yuta hyung said – “  
  
   “Sicheng!” Kun dropped his backpack he was holding. “Don’t you get it! He’s different because he _likes_ you. Like – _seriously_ likes you.”  
  
   The older still had his back turned, luckily. Kun wasn’t able to catch the other’s blush, when he heard the possibility that Yuta ‘seriously’ liked him.  
  
   “It’s – it’s too soon,” Sicheng whispered. “So what, we cuddled? It’s…” he paused. “It’s not that big of a deal.”  
  
   Kun had visibly given up. “Alright. Well – did you have fun?”  
  
   “Yeah! It was nice. I saw Yukhei and uh, this guy called Doyoung as well. I didn’t see Ten, though,” Sicheng wondered. “He didn’t come home because Yuta took his bed sheets to sleep on the floor instead of next to me.”  
  
   The honey haired boy gulped slightly, avoiding Sicheng’s eyes. Kun knelt down and picked up his back pack, hurriedly putting it over his shoulder. “Oh – That’s nice of him. I’m gonna go now,” he stammered, briefly smiling towards Sicheng before rushing to the door.  
  
   Sicheng just watched him with his brows furrowed in confusion.  
  
   “I’ll see you later. Bye!”  
  
   “Uh – bye,” Sicheng whispered, but Kun had already left. That was _weird_. Sicheng was beginning to notice how weird Kun would act whenever Ten was even mentioned. The blonde boy knew that Kun liked the frat boy, stating that they hooked up all those weeks ago. But, from yesterday’s chat, Kun said that they weren’t into each other – so why was Kun still so angsty over it all?  
  
   Regardless, with the dorm room to himself, Sicheng began to get changed into a fresh outfit for a day full of lectures and dance practise.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   The day had dragged _far_ too long for Sicheng’s liking.  
  
   Taemin was having some issues at home, and so the marking of the theory test Sicheng had taken was being delayed even further. In the lectures, the focus was now on the art of dance and how different emotions can be expressed, whilst in the practical lessons, the 20 students were starting to learn more advanced skills to follow up on the foundation skills they’d been learning so far in the year. Before the class had ended, Taemin announced one final thing:  
  
   The Christmas Recital.  
  
   If you were on the dance program, there was 0 reason for you not to audition for the leading roles in the recital. Of course, it wasn’t exclusive _just_ to those who were majoring in dance: anyone in the university could audition for the roles. There is a lot more than 20 roles, after all, and they _all_ needed filling. As well as this, there are plenty of students who applied for the dance program but, due to its harsh admittance rate, even the most elegant dancers may have lost out to Sicheng’s class mates in securing a spot on the course. Taemin decided that everyone enrolled on the dance program _would_ audition, with no questions asked. Personally, Sicheng was quite nervous about the whole recital. It was 1 thing to perform in front of his class, but in front of an even larger audience? The blonde boy’s stomach was doing turns just _thinking_ about it. He’d have to get over it though, especially when Taemin announced the prospect of extra credit depending on how many scenes the role you’re given stars in.   
  
   Once the class was over, Cheng and Daehwi asked the 18 year old if he was going to be attending dance society tonight, but Sicheng had to inform them that he had already made plans elsewhere. He _also_ made sure not to disclose that it was a date, because he liked his dance society friends, but he wasn’t entirely trusting of them to keep the whole Yuta situation to themselves. Not quite yet, anyway. After all of that, he went to the library, with Sicheng just doing some extra study, followed up by a much needed trip to the gym.  
  
   And then, after showering, Sicheng got dressed for his date with Yuta. He decided on a white sweatshirt with a navy blue t-shirt beneath it, as well as black ripped jeans and his favourite pair of white all star converse trainers. Sicheng kept his blonde hair neat, but refrained from putting any gel in it tonight. He found himself waiting in the dorm’s car park, leaning against the wooden barrier dividing the parking lot from the lawn by the side of the building. Sicheng’s hands were busy playing with his fingers, the 18 year old missing Yuta’s car pulling up into the bay before him, the lights illuminating the youngers lithe figure.  
  
   The sound of a car door shutting was enough to bring Sicheng’s eyes up to meet Yuta’s.  
  
   “Damn, we keep running into each other,” Yuta smirks, casually walking forward. He was wearing a black denim jacket over a purple t-shirt – _much_ more casual than their last ‘date’. Now that everything was more transparent (to a degree) between the pair, it seemed easier to know what to expect.  
  
   “ _So_ coincidental,” Sicheng grinned, bowing in greeting to his hyung, who did the same.  
  
   “You look – you look _pretty_ ,” Yuta whispered, eyes lingering over Sicheng’s body.  
  
   If Sicheng had somehow forgot this was a date, it certainly was brought back to the front of his mind with that statement. He forgot that he had to mentally prepare himself for it. It wasn’t just going to be him and Yuta hanging out like they did last night. Yuta was going to be _romantic_. He said so himself, that today was ‘definitely’ a date, whatever that meant. Either way, Yuta had something up his sleeve, and Sicheng was filled with trepidation yet excitement over what it may be.  
  
   “Thank you,” Sicheng blushed. “You look really nice as well.”  
  
   Yuta just chuckled to himself as he walked over to the passenger’s side of the car. He politely clunked the door open, holding it open for the younger. Sicheng just smiled at him – no sarcastic comments tonight – and set himself down on the car seat. The car was somewhat tidied up, with less take out wrappers cluttering the space beneath Sicheng’s feet, and all the folders and sport kits in the back seat taken out. A pile of CDs was still in the corner, though. It was tidy, but it was still _Yuta_.  
  
   Once Yuta had sat down in the driver’s seat, he began to drive out of the parking lot and onto the main street.  
  
   “So, where are we going?” Sicheng whispered. Nothing was playing on the radio yet, resulting in somewhat of an awkward silence.  
  
   “It’s a surprise.”  
  
   The younger let out a nervous laugh. “Are you going to take me into the woods or something and murder me? Was this the plan all along?”  
  
   Yuta grinned. “Yes, _obviously_.”  
  
   Sicheng started to laugh properly this time, yet… he was still curious on where they were going. “But – seriously, where are we going?”  
  
   “I’m not telling you! It’s a surprise.”  
  
   “Yuta hyung!” Sicheng whined, only met with a smile from the older. “Please!”  
  
   The older paused, humming ever so slightly as though he was thinking about it.  
  
   “Nah.”  
  
   “Why not?” the 18 year old pouted. He didn’t _hate_ surprises, they just… unsettled him.  
  
   “Because it’s cute seeing you act like this,” he smirked, not taking his eyes off the road. Yuta was going the opposite direction from the inner city, towards the quieter suburbs of Seoul.  
  
   “It’s annoying!” Sicheng laughed. “Just tell me~”  
  
   “No! You’ll like it, I’m sure,” he smiled.  
  
   “I _better_ ,” the younger growled slightly.  
  
   Yuta just aww’d in reaction, eliciting another pout from Sicheng. The latter had given up on his attempts on asking where they were going, and was just hoping Yuta’s judgement would win out. He had said before that dating wasn’t exactly his expertise, so Sicheng was kind of worried they were heading to some sort of fast food chain, but the fact that Yuta insisted that they dressed warmly suggested it would be somewhere outdoorsy. Sicheng had no idea what to expect, and whilst usually the unknown was daunting, he found himself _thrilled_ , a sensation only brought upon by his hyung.  
  
   The large houses were beginning to disappear as Yuta kept driving, residences being replaced with large trees. Soon, Sicheng found himself being driven into the forest by Yuta, the older relaxing with the window down, the cold air rushing in and blowing through the older’s hair.  
  
   “Are you sure you’re not going to murder me?”  
  
   Yuta let out another laugh. “Yes, Sichengie, I am sure I am not going to murder you.”  
  
   “It’s just – we’re alone and you’re taking me into the woods,” he whispered. Sicheng was reminding himself that this was _Yuta_ , but creeping anxiety was still enough to make him slightly reluctant over the whole situation. They were going uphill now. Oh god – Yuta wasn’t going to make him go hiking, was he?  
  
   “Why would I kill you?” the light brown hair boy laughed slightly. “And surely if I was, I’d of done it when you fell asleep in my arms?”  
  
   Sicheng was about to speak, but started blushing profusely. It sounded so intimate when put like that. “I-I guess,” he whispered.  
  
   “We’re nearly there now, so don’t worry,” Yuta comfortingly smiled, using his free hand to pat Sicheng’s knee. “Ten warned me you’d get nervous.”  
  
   “Oh – speaking of Ten,” Sicheng wondered. “Kun keeps getting all nervous whenever I mention him. Like, this morning, he completely ran out of the room when I said that he didn’t come back to the fraternity last night.”  
  
   The older paused, clearing his throat. “You know they’re fooling around together, right?”  
  
   “ _What?_ ” Sicheng gasped, ripping his gaze from the view out the window to his date. “They’re having sex?”  
  
   Yuta nodded. “Ten told me all about it when he got in this morning.”  
  
   “They had sex _last night?_ But- I was supposed to be going back to the dorm,” Sicheng shuddered.  
  
   “I texted Ten that you were staying over, so I guess they took the chance to uh… yknow,” Yuta’s voice trailed off. He was always so confident, but when it came to sex, he seemed uncomfortable to talk about it with his date.  
  
   “Huh. I wish Kun told me, ‘Cause he told me yesterday that he wasn’t interested in him,” Sicheng wondered, looking out the window once more. He was surprised to see that the trees had since disappeared and been replaced with a gorgeous view of the city from the top of the hill. The blonde boy let out an appreciative gasp, completely forgetting about his worries, as he looked at the twinkling lights from the car window.  
  
   “We’re here,” Yuta smiled, pulling over into a dirt parking lot. No other cars were parked there, meaning that Yuta and Sicheng were completely alone. The pair unbuckled their seat belts and got out of the car. Sicheng was stunned by the view, gently walking forward and absorbing it in. It was cold, and Sicheng was pretty sure his shoes were getting dirty, but the scenery was just so beautiful. From their view atop the hill, Sicheng gently leaned forward from his hold on a rickety wooden fence, allowing the soft orange glow from the city to illuminate his face. He couldn’t help but put all his attention on the picturesque view, looking at it for longer than he should have.  
  
   By the time Sicheng turned around, he let out a gentle gasp, bringing his hand to cover his mouth.  
  
   In front of the car, Yuta had set down a navy blue plaid picnic blanket. Atop of it was an ornate bucket, a bottle of pink champagne and ice residing within it as though it were taken directly out of a romantic film set in the 1920s. Surrounding the champagne and one side of the blanket were fairy lights, glowing ever so softly in the night. Yuta had also brought a wireless speaker, and put it on the opposite corner of the blanket from the bucket as a weight to prevent everything from flying off in the breeze that was blowing ever so slightly. Behind everything was the red car, it’s side lights turned on to provide just that much more light. The light brown haired boy had turned shy all of a sudden, biting his bottom lip in anticipation as he stood next to it all, watching the younger’s slight movements. Sicheng was speechless – he knew they were going on a date but he _never_ expected Yuta to come out with something like this. Any expectations that Sicheng were holding were blown out of the water, in awe at the extent to which Yuta was willing to go to make their first proper date memorable. Everything about this, from the picnic scene to the glimmering skyline before them, was perfection for the 18 year old.  
  
   “Y-You did all of this?” Sicheng whispered, moving slowly towards the picnic blanket. He brought his hands together and rest them against his own chest, his hazel eyes taking in everything there was to offer.  
  
   Yuta softly nodded, lacking all of his usual bravado. Sicheng didn’t mind, though. When Yuta extended his hand to the younger, Sicheng quickly took it, allowing himself to be guided towards the seating area. Once they were sat down, Yuta kept his and Sicheng’s fingers intertwined for a few seconds too long. Whilst Sicheng was sat in a cross legged position, Yuta was comfortably sitting with his legs spread and knees up, the older never being one for a more ‘polite’ posture.  
  
   It was a comfortable silence, but neither of them knew what to say. Sicheng was still too stunned, and Yuta was relishing in the fact that he could make his dongsaeng feel this way.  
  
   “You know it’s a date, right?” Yuta whispered, a sly grin on his lips.  
  
   _There he was_. Sicheng just let out a loud laugh, playfully slapping Yuta on the arm and rolling his eyes.  
  
   “Yes. Yes – it’s _perfect_.”  
  
   “Good,” Yuta nodded, holding eye contact with the younger. “It’s what you deserve.”  
  
   And for once, Sicheng wasn’t willing to avert his gaze so easily. Yuta quickly became flustered, moving his eyes from Sicheng’s and onto the bucket. With ease, he leant over and took the bottle out of the ice, bringing both that and 2 champagne flutes over for inspection.  
  
   “What’s that?” Sicheng purred, leaning over to look at the bottle in Yuta’s hands.  
  
   His large, rough hands weren’t suit for handling the curved champagne bottle. No, Yuta’s hands were more suit for holding beer cans and red solo cups.  
  
   “It’s this nice type of champagne that _actually_ tastes nice,” Yuta smirked slightly. “Would you like some?”  
  
   Sicheng gently nodded, holding his champagne flute up. With a wide smile, Yuta popped the champagne in a swift movement, the younger laughing as he watched the cork fly off into somewhere in the distance. Carefully, Yuta poured the rose pink liquid into Sicheng’s glass, before doing the same to his own.  
  
   “Wait, aren’t you driving?” Sicheng whispered suddenly, watching Yuta pour his own alcohol.  
  
   The older paused, his eyes staring at the champagne flute.  
  
   “ _Shit_ , you’re right,” he said.  
  
   Sicheng just giggled. “It’s okay. You can just ‘watch me drink’,” he grinned at Yuta. The older looked confused at first, before remembering that it was actually he who had said those words first all those weeks ago at the frat party.  
  
   “That’s my line,” Yuta pouted, setting his half full glass beside the bucket, balancing it carefully so it wouldn’t spill on the blanket.  
  
   The blonde boy took a modest sip of his champagne and just cheekily winked at Yuta. As they were sat together, legs brushing ever so slightly due to the closeness of their postures, Sicheng was relishing in the feeling of _not_ being an awkward mess. He knew Yuta pretty well by now, knowing all the tricks on how to make his hyung smile. It didn’t take much – Yuta was very easy going. But Sicheng felt _special_ , in that regard. Yuta had never smiled the way he did towards the younger in relation to any of his other friends.  
  
   Yuta disrupted the soft twittering of birds in the trees, mixing in with the rumble of traffic from the city stretched out in front of them.  
  
   “So, have you got any plans for your birthday tomorrow?” Yuta whispered, turning to the younger.  
  
   “My Dad’s taking me out for dinner,” Sicheng replied, taking another sip from his glass. The flavour of strawberries was flooding his mouth, and he was _enjoying_ it. “And then I’m just gonna stay home for the weekend and come back on either Saturday night or Sunday morning.”  
  
   “Agh – does that mean I don’t get to see you?”  
  
   Sicheng just giggled, shaking his head. “Sorry. I’m just _such_ a social butterfly.”  
  
   “I’ll just have to give you your present when I next see you. That doesn’t matter, though – are you looking forward to seeing your Dad?” Yuta smiled.  
  
   “Yeah~ I haven’t seen him in ages,” Sicheng softly spoke under his breath. “I was feeling kind of homesick for a while, but now I think I’ve settled in.”  
  
   Yuta instantly nodded. “I think you have too! You seem and act _so_ much more comfortable now.”  
  
   “I do?” Sicheng perked up, looking towards his hyung.  
  
   “ _Definitely_ ,” Yuta assured.  
  
   “Thank you,” he whispered. “It was really hard to settle in and stuff…”  
  
   “I can imagine,” the older wondered. He changed his position on the picnic blanket so he was on his side, leaning on his arm and facing Sicheng. The fairy lights were illuminating his figure, Yuta seeming too brash and carefree to fit in with the delicate setting that he’d created. “Their problem is they can’t look past like, your _Dad_ , and so therefore they can’t see you for who you really are. If that makes sense-“  
  
   “It does,” Sicheng agreed. “I know what my Dad does isn’t exactly like… the _best_ ,” he whispered. Thinking about his Dad’s criminality always upset Sicheng to an extent, mostly due to his eternal longing to just have a normal life and fit in. “But… I wish people knew I had nothing to do with that. People in my dance class are really judgemental about it all, even now,”  
  
   Yuta just looked at Sicheng, thinking about his response.  
  
   “It sounds easier said than done,” Yuta began, “But you need to just forget about them. It’s hard when you’re stuck in a class with them, but you just gotta remember that you don’t _need_ any approval from them. You have that uh – what’s her name, that girl,”  
  
   “Cheng Xiao?”  
  
   “ _Yeah!_ ” Yuta nodded. “Ten told me about her once. She let you in her team for that dance society, right?”  
  
   The blonde boy softly nodded.  
  
   “Well there you go. You’ve got Kun, you’ve got Cheng, you’ve got Ten and Jaehyun and Xuxi,”  
  
   “Wait – they like me?” Sicheng whispered, somewhat astounded.  
  
   Yuta just let out a soft laugh. “Sichengie, how _couldn’t_ they like you,” he whispered. “They thought the same as everyone at first, sure, but they’re not idiots – they see how kind and gentle and… thoughtful you are.”  
  
   Sicheng just smiled, turning his gaze away from Yuta’s and down to the champagne flute he was carefully holding between his finger tips.  
  
   “You’re just saying that because we’re on a date,” Sicheng laughed slightly, fiddling with the glass in his hands.  
  
   “ _No_ , I’m not,” Yuta quickly quipped in. “I wouldn’t lie to you. Honestly.”  
  
   As the night progressed, so did the easy flow of conversation. At some point Yuta connected his phone to the wireless speaker, playing some soft pop songs that weren’t upbeat enough to incite any form of dancing, yet not too slow to evoke any form of boredom. However, Yuta was providing enough music to Sicheng’s ears thanks to the laughter he kept producing as they kept sharing stories about the other which no one else knew. Sicheng’s position eventually changed from his cross legged pose to just lying down flat on his back, his hands connected on his tummy. Yuta, on the other hand, was lying down next to him with his hands behind his head, occasionally turning to check that his date was still smiling. The younger finished his one glass of champagne rather slowly, Yuta claiming how correct he was on his assumption that Sicheng would be able to hold his liquor. Eventually, nearing the end of the date, the conversation had taken a turn, touching on softer topics, such as the events of last night.  
  
   “I really enjoyed last night, by the way,” Yuta whispered, different from his care free tone that he’d been using before.  
  
   “It was sweet,” Sicheng smiled, his eyes looking up towards the night sky. They hadn’t driven far enough from Seoul to escape the glow of the city, so unfortunately, no stars were visible. But that didn’t matter to Sicheng – it had been a _perfect_ date.  
  
   “I’ve never – like, done that with someone before,” the older softly said.  
  
   “You’ve never hugged someone?” the younger grinned, confusion lacing his face. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Yuta had ‘experience’ with relationships.  
  
   “I’ve hugged, yeah,” Yuta quickly said. “But it was _different_ with you. It was…” he struggled for a word. “It was nicer.”  
  
   Sicheng allowed the smile to shine across his face. “You were nice to cuddle.”  
  
   “Likewise,” Yuta let out an airy laugh.  
  
   “This morning, when I got home, I was speaking to Kun,” Sicheng whispered. “And… I told him about me falling asleep and stuff. But he said that it was like we’d skipped other stages in our relationship,” the blonde boy played with his fingers.  
  
   “What kind of stages?”  
  
   Sicheng blushed. “Like uh… kissing and… _yknow_.”  
  
   The older just knowingly smiled, sitting up from where he had been lying. “I just want to move at a pace that is comfortable for you,” he whispered. “We don’t have to be doing _this_ or doing _that_ by a certain time if that’s not what you want.”  
  
   Sicheng followed Yuta’s action, and sat up as well. He hadn’t realised how close they were, but he wasn’t in a rush to move away.  
  
   “But – what if that’s,” Sicheng swallowed ever so slightly. “What if that’s what I want?”  
  
   A plane could of crashed right next to the pair of boys, and it still wouldn’t of been enough for them to take their attention away from the other. Yuta and Sicheng’s eyes were locked, an unknown glimmer flashing over the former’s upon hearing what Sicheng had just said. The older’s eyes moved from Sicheng’s eyes to his lips, which were parted ever so slightly. A soft breeze blew over them, messing up their hair ever so slightly as they gazed at one another. It was a magnetic attraction, Sicheng not even realising he was moving forward before he felt the foreign sensation of Yuta’s lips against his own. He had no experience with kissing, but Yuta made him feel as though he didn’t _need_ to know. It was soft, gentle, so uncharacteristically Yuta, yet encompassing everything about him at the same time. Yuta’s lips brushing against his own made the younger forget about his worries, forget about the rest of the world, even if it was just for a few seconds. When they pulled apart, Sicheng’s lips still parted, a look of pure seduction had shaded Yuta’s face.  
  
   The younger must look like a flustered mess – at least that’s what he _felt_ like, yet Yuta looked so cool and in control.  
  
   He struggled to form words, his senses focused on just one thing: _Yuta_.  
  
   “C-Can we do that again?” he gently whispered, looking up to his hyung. The older was pleased to accommodate, except this time, he shifted his body, with Yuta wrapping his arms around Sicheng’s waist from their position on the picnic blanket. Sicheng closed his eyes when he felt Yuta lean in, their mouths coming together in unison once more. The younger rest his hands on the light brown haired boy’s chest, savouring the feeling of Yuta’s touch, Yuta’s smell, Yuta’s _everything_. When they parted for the 2 nd time, Sicheng was aching for more. Luckily, so was Yuta, as he wordlessly moved their mouths back together. The first 2 kisses were soft and gentle, yet the final kiss was charged with a _different_ kind of energy, both of the boys hungrily pushing against each other, lacking in the delicate nature which had taken the date by storm.  
  
   When they parted, both Yuta and Sicheng were looking at each other, the air thick with romantic tension. Which was broken, of course, when Sicheng began to giggle. Yuta then joined in, until the pair were properly laughing, the younger still with Yuta’s arms around his waist. Eventually, the laughter died down, with the older helping his dongsaeng up from the picnic basket.  
  
   “That was – _really_ nice,” Sicheng whispered, somewhat out of breath.  
  
   “For someone who’s never kissed anyone else, you’re surprisingly good at it,” Yuta grinned, kneeling down to fold the picnic blanket. Sicheng instantly began to help him in packing the stuff away.  
  
   “Thank you,” Sicheng laughed. “This is so… I just never thought I’d ever have my first kiss~” the younger whispered, laughing slightly. On his face was a look of delight, with Yuta’s expression mirroring it.  
  
   “I was worried at first,” Yuta smirked, picking the final parts up into his arms and walking around the car to the boot. Sicheng tentatively followed him, watching as he slotted the bucket, speaker, fairy lights and blanket into the back of the car. “I didn’t know if I read the signals right or not,” he grinned to Sicheng.  
  
   “ _Really_? I was scared I was being too obvious,” Sicheng laughed.  
  
   “Noo~ It was cute, very endearing,” the older whispered. “I knew I got it right when you wanted to do it again,” he giggled.  
  
   Sicheng blushed in embarrassment, as he sat down in the passenger seat once Yuta had voluntarily opened the door for him. Yuta then sat down in the driver’s seat, yet didn’t set off yet.  
  
   “When can we meet up again?” the younger said, unusually confident. The adrenaline from the kiss was still raging through his body, and so he was acting more forward with the older than seen before.  
  
   “So _eager_ ,” Yuta smirked. “ _Damn I’m good,”_  
  
   “Oh shut up,” Sicheng laughed, turning his gaze out of the window instead.  
  
   Yuta just grinned. “Nah, but seriously – we can meet up whenever. I had a _really_ good time tonight,”  
  
   “S-So did I!” the blonde was quick to reply. “And not just because of the kissing. You’re really fun to spend time with. It was _so_ sweet of you to go all out for our date,”  
  
   The older smiled at that, and patted Sicheng’s leg from his seat across from him. “You deserve nothing less.”  
  
   Sicheng smiled, held eye contact for a few seconds, before breaking and quickly averting his gaze back out of the car window. He’d just _kissed_ the guy for Christ’s sake, but he still couldn’t control himself with his cheesy flirts?  
  
   Nonetheless, Sicheng hoped that Yuta would always be able to create such a warm feeling inside of him.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew !
> 
> what a cute chapter... the yuwin ship is SAILING
> 
> my twitter is @orbityuta and my curious cat is george_uwu so if you wanna chat you can find me there
> 
> thanks for reading and thank you for leaving such kind comments!! you are the best! :)


	9. the feeling of Disorientation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng returns to home for a nice birthday meal with Taeyong. Later that night, when Sicheng can't sleep, he calls up Yuta in a sleep-deprived haze: it's not like Yuta would pick up the phone. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! im back!!
> 
> HAPPY WINWIN DAY!!  
> kind of ironic that i'm publishing sicheng's birthday chapter on his irl birthday, right??
> 
> i hope you enjoy it :)

   Sicheng didn’t really care about his birthday. He liked receiving presents, sure, but when your Dad was Lee Taeyong, you could ask for something any day of the year and get it in a moment’s notice. He never really had any birthday parties, as all the other kids were too scared to be his friend, let alone go to his house. And he didn’t really _enjoy_ getting older, as Sicheng always felt as though his life was just a monotonous cycle. At least, it was before he went to university. Sicheng thought his life was _much_ better now that he was enrolled, and so therefore he wasn’t in a rush to grow up.  
  
   Nonetheless, Sicheng woke up on the Friday morning, only remembering that it was his birthday when he’d finished showering and saw the _‘Happy Birthday!’_ texts from Yuta and Kun. His first dance practise of the day had gone nicely, with Cheng and Daehwi telling him happy birthday, and that if they’d known earlier they would have bought him something. He promised them not to worry, though. During his afternoon lecture, Sicheng had to stop himself from dozing off, forcing his eyes to stay open and focus on the presentation being dragged on at the front of the auditorium. The day had gone at a painfully slow pace, especially when all he could think about was Yuta, and the memories of his date.  
  
   Last night had been the best time of his time at university for _sure_. Yuta had shown how much he cared, with all the stuff he brought just for the pair of them. And then, as though the night couldn’t of gotten any better, they _kissed_. Sicheng still couldn’t get over that fact – if you had told 16 year old Sicheng that he would eventually find someone willing to _talk_ to him, let alone kiss him, he’d call you crazy. An idea which used to be so fantastical to the 19 year old was now a reality, something Sicheng kept having to pinch himself over in order for the reality to set it into his mind.  
  
   Just like last night, Sicheng found himself waiting in his dormitory’s car park. Except he wasn’t waiting for Yuta. This time, he was waiting for Johnny and Taeil, who were going to drive him home.  
  
   _Home_. When Sicheng began to really think about it, a feeling of relief ran through his veins. For the better part of 18 years, his home had been his entire world. It represented security for the blonde boy, and whilst he loved being at university (most times), those feelings of longing for home hadn’t ever dissipated fully. He was giddily waiting for Johnny to pull up in the car and whisk him away. Sicheng didn’t know if he was going to go to a nice restaurant with his Father, or just a nice home cooked meal, but either way he was looking forward to it. He really did miss his Dad. Being in an environment which seemed to view him as such a monster made Sicheng incredibly sympathetic towards him. Sure, Taeyong wasn’t exactly the warmest man in the world, but he definitely wasn’t _evil_ , like everyone seemed to think he was. Only Sicheng knew the real version of his Dad: The Taeyong that liked to give him piggy backs around the mansion even when he was a teenager. The Taeyong that liked to tuck him in and read him bed time stories. The Taeyong that would made explicit effort in not involving his son in any of the criminal duties he had to deal with.  
  
   As the blonde boy let out a sigh, his phone buzzed in his jean pocket. He pulled it out, and smiled when he saw that Yuta had sent him a text.  
  
   _‘sichengie!!’  
   ‘are u having a good birthday? x’  
  
_    His eyes drifted over the kiss that Yuta sent, a look of pleasure invading his face.  
  
   _‘Yeah it’s been okay :) x’  
   ‘I can’t wait to be back home’  
  
   ‘say hi to your dad for me hehe’  
  
_    Sicheng let out a laugh. Trust _Yuta_ to be so ballsy when talking about Taeyong, as though the latter wouldn’t be able to order his death within a click of his fingers. Of course, he would _never_ , but Yuta didn’t necessarily know that. It was funny to see someone joke about the whole mob boss Father situation for once, when everyone else was committed to pretending as though he didn’t exist.  
  
   _‘LOL’  
   ‘Will do ^^ x’  
  
   ‘wait … what if he hates me’  
   ‘oh my god’  
  
   ‘He won’t I’ll put in a good word ~’ _ Sicheng responded. He was hoping that his Dad would like Yuta but, now that he though about it, there was a very high chance that he’d be disapproving. To be honest Sicheng had no idea what to expect. He never thought he’d have to talk about romance with his Father.  
  
   _‘okay thanks x’  
   ‘i still have your present btw!! x’  
  
_    Attached was a photo of Yuta’s bed. On the covers, which were still unmade so late into the day, was a rectangular box wrapped in a soft purple shade of paper. It was messily wrapped, with tape over several of the folds, but it’s the thought that counts.  
  
   _‘Looks cute x’  
  
_    Sicheng looked up from his phone to see a car parking before him in one of the bays. The car was a sleek Mercedes Benz, painted in a glossy black paint. It was only 7:30pm-ish in the evening, yet it blended almost naturally into the cool night air. The windows were tinted, as were all the cars at home, but the accents of the car were a beautiful matte silver, contrasting with the shiny main body. As the window of the passenger’s door whirred down, inside Sicheng saw the bright red hair of Taeil, who was smiling brightly to the former. In the driver’s seat was Johnny, giving a slight wave. Sicheng sauntered over to the back door, not forgetting his backpack which he’d set down, and collapsed into the seat. Inside the car, once Sicheng had shut the door, the lights gradually dimmed, plunging the passengers into darkness. The only light that was being provided was from the neon green and red dials before Johnny, and the limited glow from the street lights outside which penetrated the tinted glass. As Sicheng’s seat belt clicked into place, Johnny moved the car off.  
  
   “Happy birthday, Sicheng!” the pair of bodyguards chirped from the front seat, completely contrasting with the otherwise intimidating atmosphere that the car gave off. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to such a contrast, though: As Sicheng grew up, he’d constantly been surrounded by cool marble and modern furnishings which were lacking in personality. Yet, at university, everything seemed to have a story attached to it. It was a stark difference, but Sicheng loved it, and as he sat in the Mercedes Benz, he couldn’t help but feel – discombobulated. As though he didn’t belong.  
  
   “Thank you~” the 19 year old sang, smiling regardless of the sinister feeling in his gut. “It’s nice to see you both on my birthday.”  
  
   “We wouldn’t have it any other way, you know us,” Taeil smiled, looking into the back mirror and making eye contact with Sicheng. “How’s your day been?”  
  
   “It’s been okay. Dance practise was nice but the lecture this afternoon was pretty boring. I’m looking forward to seeing Dad again, I haven’t seen him in ages,” he whispered.  
  
   “He’s really excited to see you,” Johnny chirped. Taeil nodded at once.  
  
   “And how was your week? We’ve not really been following you as much as we have done before, cause you seem to be – _settling in_ ,” Taeil wondered.  
  
   Sicheng paused. Was Taeil hinting at what he thought he was? Thinking about it, Sicheng believed that he should be truthful and tell them both about his relationship with Yuta. There was a chance that they were lying and they already knew anyway, so… there was no point in hiding it. That didn’t prevent Sicheng from biting his lip in trepidation, though.  
  
   “Wednesday was my Yuta hyung’s birthday, so I went to watch him play football,” Sicheng said, playing with his fingers in his lap.  
  
   “I used to play football in college,” Johnny added, Taeil scoffing slightly. “Did he win?”  
  
   “I think so.”  
  
   “Good lad,” Johnny grinned, keeping his eyes on the road.  
  
   “And then what happened?” Taeil asked, trying his best not to come across as intrusive as his tone softened ever so slightly.   
  
   “Well, I then went back to, like – his fraternity,” Sicheng’s voice was trailing off. He was lacking in confidence as the craving for Johnny and Taeil’s approval took over. They were like his uncles, in a sense, and they were both _extremely_ protective over Sicheng. Both of the bodyguards were older than Taeyong, so they emitted Fatherly auras to the 19 year old. It was embarrassing to tell his bodyguards, but Sicheng swallowed the lump in his throat, and began to speak. “And uh – we watched a movie. And then we…”  
  
   Taeil stopped him. “You don’t have to go into detail about anything, Sichengie,” the oldest whispered, grimacing slightly.  
  
   “We just… _cuddled_ ,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   It was silent for a few moments. The only thing that broke it was Johnny’s ripping laughter through the car, shortly followed by Taeil ending up in a fit of giggles as well. Sicheng didn’t really know what was so funny, but he found himself smiling along with them.  
  
   “We thought you were gonna say you and this Yuta… went further,” Taeil cleared his throat.  
  
   “ _No!_ No I don’t think I could do that. We just cuddled and then I kinda – kinda _fell asleep_ ,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “I think that’s cute,” Johnny said with a hint of pride from the driver’s seat. Sicheng sent a smile his way.  
  
   “So you _definitely_ like him? And he _definitely_ likes you?” Taeil said with somewhat of a more serious undertone. The oldest had folded his arms slightly, and was frowning, whilst Johnny was grinning broadly into the back mirror.  
  
   “He took me out on a date last night.”  
  
   “ _And?_ ” Johnny pressed, anxious for details.  
  
   “And we kissed.”  
  
   Suddenly, Taeil let out a shrill screech, clapping his hands together. Any kind of disapproving attitude he was possessing threw itself out of the window, and instead the eldest of the 3 in the car was laughing and applauding. Johnny wasn’t any better, cheering with one hand whilst keeping the other on the steering wheel. Sicheng couldn’t help but laugh and cover his blushing face, surprised at the pleasant reaction from the 2 older men.  
  
   “I’m so proud of you!” Johnny yelled, Taeil still laughing in delight.  
  
   “Yes! We thought this day would never come,” Taeil softly laughed. “No offence.”  
  
   “None taken,” Sicheng quickly said. “I didn’t think it’d ever happen either. But he’s so sweet and _really_ nice. My roommate Kun says that he’s different from other frat boys.”  
  
   “Yeah, frat boys have a reputation for just wanting one thing,” Johnny said, slightly more serious. “But he sounds really nice.”  
  
   “He is! He’s so kind.”  
  
   “Good. If he makes you happy then we don’t have a problem,” Taeil smiled, reaching to the back seat and patting Sicheng’s knee.  
  
   “And if he ever upsets you, then I have a pump shotgun in the boot,” Johnny winks. Sicheng just laughed at the empty threat, knowing Johnny wouldn’t ever do such an act. Well – maybe he would, but Sicheng trusted that he was just joking.  
  
   The rest of the car ride was filled with either comfortable silence, or Taeil and Johnny softly bickering in the front seats. Sicheng watched as the built up buildings that lined the sidewalk slowly began to decrease in size. At some point, Johnny drove onto the highway. It made sense that Sicheng would be heading home straight away then, or else Johnny would have dropped him off somewhere fancy in the middle of Seoul. The thought that home wasn’t that far away stirred something in Sicheng that he couldn’t name. He felt incredibly excited, tempted to ask Johnny ‘ _are we nearly there yet_ ’ but then remembering he wasn’t 5 years old. Luckily, the initial feeling that he didn’t belong was washed away, as Sicheng’s fingers softly pressed against the window of the car. As Johnny took an exit off of the motorway, when Sicheng gazed out of the window, everywhere he looked was becoming increasingly familiar to him. The only thing that was missing which could make Sicheng feel on cloud 9 was _Yuta_.  
  
   Johnny slowed the Mercedes down as they approached the front gate of the Lee estate. The bodyguard rolled down the window, and after several security measures of recognition which were successfully completed, the ornate gates opened with a resolute clunk. It was a much slower pace in which the car drove up the _hideously_ long drive way, which was lined with large cypress trees, shrubbery that had been sculpted into various shapes, and bushes of flowers that came in hues of reds, pinks and whites. Once the car came to a stop, Sicheng’s door was opened instantly by one of the butlers of the estate. Unlike the security guards, the butlers tended to be much less charismatic, and would often refuse to talk to Sicheng if he ever spoke to them. Regardless, Sicheng picked his backpack up off of the floor of the car and bowed in thanks to the butler as he gently stepped out.  
  
   Standing on the other side of the car was Taeyong.  
  
   Even though Sicheng was his son, that didn’t stop the somewhat intimidating effect the man had. It was as though he exuded authority, every breath he takes enough to cause even the most powerful to crumble at his feet. His piercing brown eyes were cold, threatening, _unloving_. Even the way Taeyong stood, with his hands behind his perfectly straightened back, chin pointing upwards putting his sharp jawline on display, was enough for someone to judge the 40-something year old’s power. The mob boss was somewhat _petite_ for his age, yet his broad shoulders and the scars on his hands indicated a lifetime’s worth of hardships had already been endured. Sicheng’s Father was wearing a sleek black blazer with a smart white shirt, with black trousers and brown, designer shoes. His black hair wasn’t in it’s usual slicked back state, but was actually lying on Taeyong’s head in a casual way. The criminal’s top button was undone, as well as the lack of a tie, contrasting greatly with his professional stance and demeanour as he waited for the car.  
  
   As soon as he locked eyes with Sicheng, though, his frosty stance did a complete flip. He let out a massive grin and opened his arms wide, Sicheng quickly running across the driveway and falling into them. Taeyong tightened his hold around his son, with a gentle pat every few moments as though the older was checking Sicheng was still there, and not just a figment of his imagination. Once a minute had passed of the family members hugging, Taeyong let his son go, still smiling in the blonde boy’s direction.  
  
   “Winko! Darling, happy birthday,” Taeyong smiled. His voice was soft, a tone that no one _ever_ heard come from South Korea’s most powerful criminal. That was a luxury deemed fit only for Sicheng himself.  
  
   “Thank you, Appa,” the younger smiled. “I missed you so much.”  
  
   Taeyong ‘aww’d at that, softly patting Sicheng’s back.  
  
   “It’s so nice to be home… I’ve missed everything _so much_ ,” he whispered, eyes gazing around at the mansion that was before them. Returning home filled Sicheng with a warm feeling, as though everything was beginning to make sense once more. But on the other hand, he couldn’t escape the lurking sense that had returned within him that he didn’t _want_ things to make sense. Sicheng had grown accustomed to his life at university and the freedom that came with it, so returning back home was bittersweet thanks to the memories it held.  
  
   Taeyong began to walk up the pathway that lead to the front door, Sicheng walking by his side. Upon seeing that his son was still carrying his backpack, Taeyong instantly clicked his fingers and pointed to Sicheng’s hands. In a quick movement, a butler that had been walking behind them scurried forward and took the bag from Sicheng’s fingers, the latter trying to say thank you in time before the man had ran off.  
  
   “So, how was your trip?”  
  
   Sicheng spoke gently as he sauntered next to his Dad. “It was okay. I like Johnny and Taeil, we had a nice chat.”  
  
   “What did you talk about?” Taeyong asked, smiling.  
  
   _Shit._ Sicheng wanted to tell his Dad about Yuta, but not so soon. They hadn’t even reached the front door yet.  
  
   “Oh just… stuff,” he whispered.  
  
   Nothing got past Taeyong. _Nothing_. There were many reasons as to how he could hold such a complex and powerful crime empire beneath his pinky finger, and the fact that Taeyong could easily decipher people’s thoughts was one of them. If he wanted to, Taeyong could discover all of Sicheng’s secrets and make his son believe as though it was his own choice to spill them in the first place. So, the fact that Taeyong _didn’t_ interrogate Sicheng further despite the obvious reluctance in his tone – _that_ was true Fatherly love.  
  
   The oldest cleared his throat, turning his eyes away from Sicheng. “I hear that you’re settling in well to university life, then,” he smiled.  
  
   Sicheng let out a quick sigh of relief. He’d gotten away with it – for now, at least. “Yes! It was difficult at first, because… yknow,” Sicheng whispered. “People still judge me and stuff. But I’ve made some good friends!”  
  
   Taeyong nodded. “That’s good! What are their names?”  
  
   The family members walked through the large front door, which had been held open for them by a pair of butlers on the inside. Inside the mansion’s lobby, the air was cold as the soft glow from ornate lamps reflected off of the cool marble floor. The furnishings of the lobby were sleek and contemporary, yet flashes of red and pink decorated the area thanks to the potted flowers that Taeyong liked to keep.  
  
   “Well, there’s Kun – he’s my roommate. And then there’s Cheng Xiao and Daehwi, who are in my dance class, and we go to this like, ‘dance society’ together every Thursday night.”  
  
   “Dance society?” Taeyong pondered, leading Sicheng through the lobby and towards a stretching corridor. On the walls hung beautiful pieces of art, the sources of them not entirely clear to the blonde boy.  
  
   “Yeah, it’s this fun competition-like thing where we all get into teams and then, there’s like – three categories, and we all dance according to the rules in front of the rest of the members. It’s kind of confusing, but it’s been really fun,” Sicheng grinned. “I actually got accepted onto a team!”  
  
   “That’s amazing!” the Father smiled, patting Sicheng’s back as they walked next to each other. “They’d be stupid not to. You’re the best dancer I know.”  
  
   Sicheng grinned, ignoring the fact that he was the _only_ dancer Taeyong knew. “Thank you – but the final category is more based off of entertainment over skill. You have to like, dance to an English song, but you have to thrill the audience, not show off your best dances. It’s really cool to watch!”  
  
   “I’m glad you’re fitting in,” Taeyong smiled. “It’s what you always wanted.”  
  
   They rounded a corner, walking into the largest dining room in the mansion. Before the pair was a long glass table, with plates upon plates of food being laid out in the style of a buffet. _Thank God,_ Sicheng thought: it’d been so long since he’d had a nice meal cooked for him, that his mouth instantly filled with saliva upon smelling the feast’s aroma. It was for this reason in which conversation didn’t flow as easily during the meal, Sicheng focusing on the food more than his company. Taeyong didn’t mind though – as long as his son was happy, then that was the best birthday gift he could give. The blonde boy had powered his way through several servings of decadent food, not including any desserts, before he even realised that an entire hour had passed. Satisfied with his birthday meal, he politely set his napkin on his plate and readjusted his position at the table.  
  
   “I haven’t seen you eat that well in – well, _ever_ ,” Taeyong laughed. “You’re eating well at university, right?” he quickly said, focusing in on Sicheng’s eyes with a piercing stare.  
  
   “Yes, I’m eating well,” Sicheng nodded. The older’s brows furrowed ever so slightly, in the odd chance that Sicheng was lying, but returned to their normal stance once the 19 year old smiled. “It’s just so nice to eat such _delicious_ food again. I’ll have to tell the chefs that they worked hard~” the younger chimed.  
  
   Taeyong just smiled. Even though Sicheng had been away from home for 2 months, Taeyong deeply missed the younger’s unnecessarily polite gestures he made towards the catering staff. It’s not like Taeyong ever bothered with such a thing. In fact, around the mansion, Sicheng was the only one who spoke to the security guards, gardeners, cleaners, etc – they had probably missed the crime lord’s son and the gentle nature which came so easily to him.  
  
   “And how are your studies going?” Taeyong persisted.  
  
   “They’re okay. On the first week, we had to prepare a two minute dance to present to the whole class, in our speciality. I did ballet, of course,” to which Taeyong nodded. “And our professor was impressed. I was worried that people would think I didn’t deserve to be on the program but – I’m pretty sure I proved them wrong,” he smirked.  
  
   “Good,” Taeyong said curtly. “You deserve it more than they do, Winko. Trust me. Tell me if anyone _ever_ gives you any grief, okay?”  
  
   Sicheng tentatively nodded.  
  
   Taeyong frowned ever so slightly, before whispering. “Has anyone said anything against you, Winko?”  
  
   “N-No.”  
  
   “Sicheng.” he said, tone slightly more sinister.  
  
   “It wasn’t a big deal. Honestly.”  
  
   Taeyong folded his arms and leaned back into his seat at the dining table. He cleared his throat ever so slightly.  
  
   “You sure?”  
  
   Sicheng let out a breath of relief as he nodded. If he even mentioned what Shownu had done, then… God knows what would happen to him. Sure – Sicheng didn’t _like_ his fellow student, but he didn’t think he was subject to his Dad’s wrath. No one deserved that, really. Not in Sicheng’s eyes anyway.  
  
   “You promise to tell me about how university life is going, though?” Taeyong whispered more gently this time. “I just – I worry about you, Winko. Out there… on your own.”  
  
   The blonde boy gulped. If there was a time to tell his Father about Yuta – it was _now_.  
  
   “Well… I um – there is _something_ to tell you,” the 19 year old’s voice trailed off.  
  
   “And what’s that?”  
  
   Sicheng cleared his throat. “Well, university is going _really_ well, because of…”  
  
   Taeyong was hanging onto Sicheng’s every word. He leaned over the table to examine his son’s expression, frowning ever so slightly. “Because of…?”  
  
   _Here he goes_.  
  
   “Because of a _boy_.”  
  
   “A boy? What, a friend?”  
  
   Sicheng shook his head. “It’s – it’s something _more_ than that.”  
  
   There it was. The bomb drop.  
  
   Like dust after an earthquake, it took a few moments before Sicheng’s words settled in Taeyong’s mind. At first, there was a look of shock on Taeyong’s face: his eyes widened, jaw slacking ever so slightly, a slight intake of breath. Then there was the confusion, brows furrowing, the attempt at words being formed. This was all followed by a look of… it was hard for Sicheng to pinpoint the _exact_ emotion Taeyong was conveying – the 19 year old just knew that it was a mix of both anger and terror.  
  
   “What?” Taeyong gasped. “A – a _boyfriend?_ ”  
  
   “No! No. Yuta hyung isn’t my boyfriend. Not yet, anyway,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “ _Yet?_ ” Taeyong nearly shrieked. “Oh my – Winko…”  
  
   Instantly, Sicheng felt the need to defend himself. “Appa, he’s really, _really_ nice. He treats me ever so kindly and is gentle and accepting of everything. He doesn’t judge me – he doesn’t judge _you_. Yuta hyung told me that it was a terrible thing to judge a book by its cover, so we just kind of – well, he took me on a date, but I didn’t know it was a date, but he was _really_ sweet and he promised not to pressure me into stuff and – “  
  
   Taeyong gently raised his palm, stopping Sicheng in his tracks. The impact was instant, with the son instantly halting his speech.  
  
   “Are you happy?” He whispered. The warmth seemed to have been drenched from his voice, Taeyong’s face going porcelain white with shock.  
  
   “Y-Yes. He makes me happy.”  
  
   It took a while, but Taeyong nodded. He looked _mortified_ , but – if anything, the conversation went much better than Sicheng had anticipated. In Sicheng’s mind he imagined his Father flipping the dining table and promising to kill Yuta or something stupid like that – Sicheng’s Dad was _very_ unpredictable in his actions. It wasn’t the perfect response, but it could’ve been much worse.  
  
   “ _Okay._ ” Taeyong whispered, looking down. He had forever been trying so hard to protect his son, and whilst he was overjoyed with the fact that someone was able to make Sicheng happy… the Father couldn’t help but dread if things ever went wrong.  
  
   An awkward silence was clinging to the air. Sicheng was looking at his fingers, which danced around his lap, whilst Taeyong had his head in his hands.  
  
   “If he ever hurts you,” Taeyong sneered. He cleared his throat, regaining his intimidating nature, yet it was clear to both of them that the news of Sicheng’s romantic interest had somewhat thrown him. “I’ll kill him. I won’t hesitate, Winko. If he ever lays a _finger_ on you – “  
  
   “ _Appa,_ ” the blonde boy spoke softly, leaning over and placing his hand on his Father’s. “Everything will be okay. He’s really sweet.”  
  
   Taeyong just shook his head. “I want to meet him.”  
  
   _Shit_. Sicheng gulped ever so slightly. He was only just becoming content with where he and Yuta were in their relationship, now that he knew his hyung was properly interested in him. But… Sicheng didn’t want to scare him away. And, well – being summoned by the mastermind behind an international criminal syndicate isn’t exactly a pleasant event to attend.  
  
   The 19 year old cleared his throat.  
  
   “But - “  
  
   “Winko, it’s not up for discussion. If this boy is going to be dating you,” to which Taeyong shuddered upon uttering those words. “Then I need to be able to meet him. You say he’s sweet, sure, but college boys, darling, they’ll do _anything_.”  
  
   “Yuta hyung isn’t like that, though – “  
  
   Taeyong just sighed, looking Sicheng in the eyes.  
  
   “Winko, _sweetie_ , you are the most precious thing to me in this world. You’re my only son. I’ve had you ever since you were _this_ big,” the mafia boss pinched his fingers, eliciting a weak smile from the younger. It was that quick – the shift in which the conversation took. What was a sinister glare on Taeyong’s face had been re-drafted into one of sympathy, softly looking towards his family member. “When I think about some boy hurting you… It terrifies me. You don’t deserve that. You want your independence, and I am completely supportive of that. From what you’ve told me, you’re loving university, yeah?” Taeyong softly spoke. The colour had entered his skin again, the initial shock having worn off.  
  
   Sicheng gently nodded, still looking at his own lap, avoiding eye contact with his Dad.  
  
   “All I want to do is protect you. If you get hurt, _I_ get hurt.”  
  
   Yuta would _never_ hurt him. He was the most sweet, gentle, accepting boy that Sicheng had _ever_ met. Sure, he could be brash and boisterous, but the 21 year old would never _ever_ hurt his dongsaeng. When Sicheng was by Yuta’s side, he felt like he could rule the world, any insecurities flying away in the wind. But what Taeyong was suggesting – he didn’t want that to be a final straw in Sicheng and Yuta’s early relationship. Yuta was absolutely fine with who Sicheng’s Father was, but… the prospect of actually meeting him face-to-face might just be enough to scare him off. As per usual, Sicheng felt as though, as much as he loved him, his Dad was ruining everything.  
  
   “Just _trust me_ , Appa. He won’t hurt me.”  
  
   Taeyong clenched his fists ever so slightly.   
  
   “Okay.”  
  
   “R-Really?” Sicheng gasped.  
  
   “I trusted you when you said you would be okay at college and… that turned out well. It’s just scary for me.”  
  
   “I get that,” Sicheng nodded. “It’s scary for me as well. But it’s a good scary,”  
  
   The Father nodded.  
  
   There was a _very_ long pause. At least 5 minutes had passed before Taeyong spoke up once more.  
  
   “Winko. As long as you’re happy, then… I’m okay with it.”  
  
   Even though Taeyong’s voice was somewhat strained, it was music to the blonde boy’s ears.  
  
   Sicheng let out a relieved laugh. Those were the words he needed to hear, the key to the cage within him that was holding his happy emotions captive. Sicheng instantly bound up from his seat, walking to the other side of the table to give his Dad a huge hug. Taeyong shakily patted his back, before tightening the hug. The older of the pair then announced he had some work to do tonight, but after several more wishes happy birthday and a good night kiss on the forehead, Taeyong left for his office. Sicheng made the walk back through the corridors to his old bedroom, thoughts lingering on the events of tonight.  
  
   He’d told his Father about Yuta.  
  
   And whilst he’d come around in the end, Taeyong was visibly upset upon learning this. But after some careful conversation, it all turned out for the best. Taeyong’s desperate need for protection of his son threatened to get in the way of his happiness, but this time, Sicheng was determined to let it not be an issue. It was a bittersweet ending to his birthday. Like a band aid that had been ripped off, the wound was still sore, but after a good nights rest everything would be back to normal. Sicheng was proud of himself for confessing that he was seeing someone. He hoped that Taeyong would fully come around to the idea soon, even if that seemed somewhat unrealistic.  
  
   Most importantly, though, he hoped Yuta would be equally accommodating of the prospect of meeting _the_ Lee Taeyong.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   Sicheng felt… different.  
  
   He felt as though the universe was off balance, as if everything had been shifted to the right ever so slightly. It all felt wrong, like there was an itch on Sicheng’s body that was impossible to scratch. As he turned over in his bed and clicked his phone, the screen momentarily illuminated his face with the time of 4am in the morning. The 19 year old let out a disgruntled sigh, and flopped onto his back once more. He was only wearing a pair of black pyjama shorts and an oversized white t-shirt, yet he felt _boiling_. His bare legs were sticking together with sweat, so no matter what position he lay in Sicheng was struggling to find comfort. Disgruntled, Sicheng threw his bed covers off of his body and stepped out of bed. His bedroom was pitch black as he stretched, grateful for the cool air of his room wrapping itself around his figure.  
     
   It wasn’t enough though.  
  
   He got to his knees on the carpet of his bedroom, feeling around for his pair of thick socks which he’d been wearing before he went to bed. Eventually, he found them, getting up and sitting on his bed to put them on. Then, Sicheng walked over to his door, and fumbled around in the dark looking for his shoes. Once his fingers grasped them he slipped them on, getting to his feet once more. After he’d quickly walked over to his bedside table and retrieved his phone off of its charger, he slipped out of the bedroom door and into the long corridor.  
  
   The mansion was silent, as to be expected so early in the morning. Sicheng’s footsteps echoed around the empty halls. There was only dim lighting to guide him, but it was okay: he knew the layout like the back of his hand. Taking a corner, he walked into a large lounge. There were some security guards stood around, but they took no notice of the 19 year old. After walking through several more rooms, he made his way to the staircase, descending back to the ground floor. He walked through the same hall as earlier, going through the dining room in which they’d had dinner so many hours ago. It had all been cleaned up by now – not by either Sicheng or his Father, though. With his phone in his palm, Sicheng made his way through the kitchen and pushed on one of the glass back doors. The frosty morning air greeted him immediately, the 2 guards stood on either side of the exterior door jumping at Sicheng’s presence. They simply nodded, to which Sicheng softly smiled. It was a short walk across the back patio area until he reached the main lawn.  
  
   The garden was decorated beautifully, large cypress trees all in a row creating silhouettes against the navy blue sky. Taeyong’s estate was far enough away from the city to allow the stars to paint themselves up above, twinkling gently. As well as cypress trees, there was a large hedge maze which took up the entire half of the garden on this side of the estate. Lucky to Sicheng, he memorized the path around it ever since he was a toddler, so as he walked into it in the darkness of the early morning, it was as though the map was imprinted on the back of his eyelids. The hedge maze wasn’t like those seen in cheesy action movies, it was much more tasteful: all the paths were symmetrical, displaying a beautiful pattern from up above, as well as the hedges only reaching up to Sicheng’s chest. When Sicheng walked through the maze, he felt his thoughts become clearer, his breathing begin to calm down. It was relaxing. Once he made his way into the centre of the maze, which was much like the quads back at university, Sicheng gently sat down on one of the concrete benches. In the middle of the maze was a large fountain, but the 19 year old couldn’t ever remember a time in which there had been flowing water within it. With nothing but the gentle blowing of the wind brushing against the leaves of the neatly pruned hedges, Sicheng’s mind cleared.  
  
   After a few minutes, he still had no idea what was making him feel so agitated.  
  
   Perhaps it was all of the memories from high school assaulting his mind once more. Now that he was at university, Sicheng was enjoying his new found experiences – he had so many friends, participated in clubs and was doing well in his dance program. Everything had changed for the better, and Sicheng always felt as though he had to pinch himself to check if he was dreaming. Sure, university life wasn’t _perfect_ – nothing was. But in comparison to high school, it was the best thing that had ever happened.  
  
   So being back home, it was hard remembering all of those times when Sicheng would lock himself in his bedroom and cry – cry like there was no tomorrow. He never wanted to feel like that again, but when he was constantly surrounded by memories, each minute stuck inside of his own house was a struggle. And that was wrong: it used to be his sanctuary. Home was where Sicheng grew up, where he felt safe. Now… all he felt was darkness. A sense that everything was back to how it used to be.  
  
   Sicheng was getting all flustered as he sat in the middle of the hedge maze, breath rate rapidly picking up once more. What he needed was something, _someone_ , to be there, to remind him that it was all okay. That things weren’t going to go back to how they used to be.  
  
   It was obvious who Sicheng wanted. He didn’t even realise what he was doing until he’d pressed the ‘call’ button on Yuta’s contact.  
  
   As he held the phone to his ear, Sicheng frowned. It was fucking 4 in the morning – Yuta wouldn’t even be _awake_ , let alone willing to talk to the younger. What was Sicheng even going to say? He hadn’t thought this out at all, it was but a spur of the moment decision to run into the middle of the garden and call Yuta at stupid o’clock in the morning. That being said, Sicheng was just about to disconnect from the phone call, when the ring tone stopped by itself. As he held his phone in his hands, he looked down to Yuta’s contact.  
  
   _“Hello?”_ Yuta’s voice muffled from the phone.  
  
   _Shit._  
  
   Sicheng tentatively brought the phone up to his ear, as though it was a rabid animal. “Uh – hi,” he whispered.  
  
   _“Sichengie?”_ the older murmured over the phone. There was a sound of rustling sheets, as though he had sat up. _“Are you okay? It’s – It’s so early,”_  
  
   The blonde boy struggled. He thought calling Yuta would calm his nerves, but they’ve done the exact opposite. “Um…” he struggled. He could hear Yuta’s breath over the phone, the slight rustle of sheets.  
  
   _“Hey, what’s wrong?”_ Yuta soothed down the phone.  
  
   Sicheng let out a gentle sigh. “I’m sorry, hyung, I shouldn’t of called you. G-Goodnight,”  
  
   _“No, wait!”_ the older quickly said. _“Please, tell me what’s wrong. I’m good at – like, consoling people,”_ he laughed slightly. Sicheng smiled ever so slightly, the impact of Yuta’s words being instant.  
  
   There was a slight pause before Sicheng spoke. “But I woke you up… hyung, you need to sleep.”  
  
   _“I’m awake now, it doesn’t matter. Honestly.”  
  
_    “It’s just – agh, it’s hard to explain,” Sicheng whispered. Now that he’d escaped the unbearable heat of his bedroom, he realised how underdressed he was for an October night, sitting commando in his pyjama shorts and t-shirt.  
  
   _“Take all the time you need,”_ Yuta whispered. _“I’m not going anywhere.”  
  
_    “I just feel like… it’s weird. Because usually when I come home, I’m really happy – It’s always nice to see my Dad and stuff. But… _agh_ – I don’t know.”  
  
   _“Are you not happy?”_ the older asked over the phone. There was another slight rustling of sheets heard from his side.  
  
   “It’s not that I’m not happy. I just can’t help but remember all of the times when I was really… hating my life. And I’ve finally got to a good point in my life but coming back here just reminds me of who I really am,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   There was a pause over the phone, but the soft sound of Yuta’s breathing indicated that he was still there.  
  
   _“I’m sorry that you feel like that,”_ Yuta whispered. _“It must suck to have to deal with something like that, where your own home is, like – uncomfortable. On the plus side, you’re coming back to university in a few days? Everything will be back to normal.”  
  
   _ Sicheng just sighed, nodding to himself slightly.  
  
   _“You know, the first time I went back home during first year, it was during Christmas – fuck, that was difficult. I was so used to doing what I wanted, and then when I got back I really didn’t like my Mom’s rules around the house. I couldn’t wait to go back. But then, when I went home like, during Easter, I felt better about it all. So maybe, like – when you get back, you’ll realise that everything is okay.”_ Yuta said. When Sicheng didn’t respond, he kept speaking. _“Sorry, I went on a bit of a tangent.”  
  
_    “No, no – it’s okay. It makes me feel better, knowing that it kinda happened to you as well.”  
  
   _“Good. I’m glad I made you feel better~”_ Yuta chimed, eliciting a slight smile from the younger.  
  
   As he used his free fingers to fiddle with the fabric of his shorts, Sicheng genuinely smiled to himself. “Yes, thank you very much,” he whispered. “But – I feel bad for waking you up…”  
  
   _“I wasn’t that tired anyway,”_ he replied, letting out an elongated yawn afterwards. _“It’s nice talking to you. I didn’t get to see you on your birthday, so I felt guilty,”_  
  
   The thought that Yuta still wanted to see him filled Sicheng’s body with a cozy sensation. Talking to his hyung made him forget about how discombobulated he felt at home, made him forget about the biting cold that was nipping at his bare legs.  
  
   “We’ll definitely have to see each other when I come back,” Sicheng said as he tried to disguise his obvious excitement.  
  
   _“Definitely! If that’s what you want.”  
  
_    “It is~”  
  
   _“Well, when can we see each other again?”  
  
_    Sicheng paused. It was slightly too early in the morning to be discussing their next date, especially when both of them were supposed to be sleeping. That being said – neither of them were thinking about the consequences, enjoying the other’s telephone conversation slightly too much.  
  
   “I don’t know, I don’t have that many plans this week,” Sicheng said, looking up to the stars. “Would it be another date? Or would we just hang out?”  
  
   _“You choose,”_ Yuta said, laughing slightly. Sicheng was picturing the grin that had blossomed across his face as he lay in his bed, 1 hand behind his head whilst the other holding the phone to his ear. _“As long as we get to spend time together.”  
  
_    “It’ll be pretty hard to top the last date,” the 19 year old giggled.  
  
   _“That’s true… I did pretty well, huh…”  
  
_    “You did,” Sicheng smiled.  
  
   _“Let’s just hang out then~”  
  
_    “Sounds good,”  
  
   _“I’m out of town on Sunday and Monday though ‘Cause my Mom and brother wanna see me for my birthday, so it’ll have to be after then,”_ the older said over the phone as Sicheng absent mindedly played with the hem of his shirt.  
  
   “I didn’t know you had a brother?”  
  
   _“Sure do. He’s a fucking pain in the ass.”  
  
_    “Hyung!” Sicheng giggled at the sudden severity lacing Yuta’s tone. “What makes you say that?”  
  
   _“He’s just… really annoying. Kid’s like six years younger than me so he’s not even at university yet. Way too immature.”  
  
_    “Why’s he annoying?”  
  
   _“Well,”_ Yuta started, Sicheng leaning back into the bench he was sat on. He let out a slight gasp at the sudden cool sensation that came from the contact of his bare leg and the cold surface. _“He’s a fuckin’ snitch, for one. Whenever I would do something wrong he’d just get me in trouble. I thought it was just a phase but – nope. I love him of course but… it’s hard, sometimes…”_  
  
   “Isn’t that like, a brother’s job? To piss you off and get you in trouble?”  
  
   _“Uh – no!”_ Yuta laughed down the phone. _“I was there to threaten off his bullies but then in thanks all he does is torment me,”  
  
_    Sicheng let out a soft chuckle. Sometimes he wished he had a sibling, someone his age who could truly relate to him in every sense of their upbringing. But then again – Sicheng loved the benefits of being an only child. He _always_ had Taeyong’s attention and didn’t have to share him with anyone. Not that Sicheng was possessive – it wasn’t like anyone _wanted_ Taeyong as their Father – but he felt he might of become clingy had he grown up with a brother or sister. He couldn’t relate to Yuta when he was complaining about his brother, but it was nice to learn more about him. As the days passed by, Yuta was becoming further and further unravelled, with Sicheng pleased to find that he was enjoying every new fact he learnt about the 21 year old.  
  
   “What were you even doing that warranted your brother snitching on you, hyung?”  
  
   Yuta let out a mischievous chuckle. _“What wasn’t I doing? That’s the question.”  
  
_    “Gosh, you’re so rebellious,” Sicheng said, rolling his eyes over the phone. “You’re a bad influence on me.”  
  
   _“Don’t tell your Dad that,”_ Yuta said, his softer tone returning. _“He might actually think I am.”  
  
_    Sicheng paused.  
  
   The events of last night ran through his head, with Taeyong showing immense discomfort at the prospect of Sicheng dating someone. He mentioned Yuta, and sure – his Father was hesitant, but Sicheng did everything he could to try defend him. The 19 year old listed all of his positives, and how he made him truly happy, something which both of them once thought was an impossible task.  
  
   “Y-Yeah, about my Dad,” Sicheng whispered. “I told him.”  
  
   _“Told him what?”  
  
_    “About you, and our date.”  
  
   There was a pregnant pause from the other side of the phone. _“Ah. How’d he react?”  
  
_    “It was mixed, I won’t lie,” Sicheng whispered. What he would say now was _crucial_. He didn’t want to scare Yuta off, because even though he didn’t judge Sicheng, he must still hold some reservations over his Father. “He’s just scared I’ll get hurt. But I was telling him how nice and sweet you are, and how I really don’t think you’d ever hurt me because you’re _such_ a good person. You’re gentle, thoughtful, caring… I said that you made me happy and that was when he finally said he was okay with it all. But it’s not like we’re officially boyfriends yet, so when he said that he wanted to meet you I basically said _no_.”  
  
   There was silence over the line. Sicheng was nervously fiddling with the strings on his shorts, waiting for Yuta’s response as though it were his life line. He was filled with an urge to hear his voice, even if it was the harsh words of rejection – that would be better than something vague, something which would send Sicheng’s mind into overdrive.  
  
   Finally, Yuta began to speak.  
  
   _“You really think all of those things about me?”  
  
_    _Huh?_ That wasn’t the response Sicheng was expecting. Come to think of it, under the guise of the 4am moon, maybe Sicheng had been too quick to say how he truly felt about his hyung.  
  
   “Y-Yeah,” he whispered into his mobile. “I wasn’t just lying to my Dad to make him like you.”  
  
   _“Fuck…”_ Yuta said back, eliciting an awkward laugh from the younger. _“That’s so… no one’s ever said stuff like that about me before.”  
  
_    “They haven’t?”  
  
   _“Sichengie, this is my first real relationship as well, you know. It’s still weird – a good weird – to have someone think of me as something more than just… a good time.”  
  
_    The former just smiled in response. He was feeling brave. Yuta was exposing himself, presenting himself as someone who was incredibly vulnerable, when usually all Sicheng saw was the image of shining confidence. It made Sicheng feel _special_ , in that respect: how many other’s could say they had made Yuta feel good about himself? He wanted to do it again.  
  
   “Of course you’re more than just a ‘good time’, Yuta hyung. You’re the kindest, most accepting person I’ve ever met – and that’s a fact. I wasn’t making it up when I said you make me happy,” Sicheng’s voice trailed off ever so slightly. The initial confidence had drained as he made his way through his impromptu speech.  
  
   _“You make me happy too, Sichengie. I’ve never met anyone like you.”  
  
_    The younger blushed, finding relief in the fact that he didn’t have to hide it. Talking to Yuta right now, surrounded by the beautiful scenery of the hedge maze, basking in the setting moon’s light, everything felt overly intimate. Yet it felt wrong – they shouldn’t be talking like this over the phone. Sicheng wanted to be next to Yuta right now, see his bright smile, hear his clear laughter, kiss his (surprisingly) soft lips. There was a desperation within the 19 year old. He was craving Yuta’s touch. A foreign feeling, but it was present nonetheless, and it was uncontrollably taking over Sicheng’s system.  
  
   _“I wish I could kiss you right now.”  
  
_    Sicheng immediately responded. “I want to kiss you too,”  
  
   Yuta’s breathing was a lullaby to his dongsaeng, having a soothing effect on him. The blonde boy was hot and bothered, a sudden desire driving him: a desire which, unfortunately, couldn’t be fulfilled over the phone. It was slightly scary as Sicheng thought about it more: this was the first time where he’d ever thought about… _more_ than just kissing. There was a foreign ache in Sicheng’s stomach, as though he needed Yuta with him right now. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, letting out a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding.  
  
   _“Do you feel better now?”_ Yuta whispered, softly clearing his throat. Judging by the heaviness of his breathing, Sicheng had an inkling that Yuta felt the same way.  
  
   “Yes – thank you _so_ much, hyung… I just can’t wait to get back to college,”  
  
   _“Good. Now that I’ve consoled you, I really should get back to sleep,”_ he whispered.  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “So should I. Thank you for cheering me up~”  
  
   _“Anytime, cutie.”  
  
_    He had to supress a squeal, but Sicheng remained composed. “Good night, hyung.”  
  
   As Sicheng got up from his seat in the middle of the hedge maze, starting his walk back across the garden and through the house, he heard the soft _“Night Sicheng,”_ escape Yuta’s lips from the other side of the phone. _  
  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such a wait!! i was having a real struggle writing this chapter... it just wasn't coming out the way i wanted and, tbh, i'm still not 100% satisfied with it
> 
> nonetheless i hope you enjoyed it <3 i won't be abandoning this fic!!
> 
> thank you for reading!


	10. the feeling of Arousal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuta and Sicheng meet up for another sleepover. Later in the week, Sicheng once again displays his talents and attends the auditions for the Christmas Dance Recital.

   “How should I ask him, though?”  
  
   Kun looked towards Sicheng. The honey haired boy was currently lying on his bed with a text book in his hands.  
  
   “I dunno, Sicheng – just be really blunt about it.”  
  
   “But what if he thinks I’m weird?”  
  
   “You’ve already slept over once, so…”  
  
   Sicheng let out a small sigh. He was currently sat on his bed with his phone in his fingers, Yuta and his text message history glowing on the screen. The 19 year old was currently debating whether he should ask his hyung if he’s going to… _sleep over_. It was an innocent question, and completely relevant, seeing as last time Sicheng went to the fraternity it happened completely by accident. But he didn’t want Yuta to assume it meant anything more than just sleeping. Sicheng had been having thoughts ever since his birthday 3 days ago about the possibility of having sex with Yuta. It was a very intriguing idea, but when Sicheng _really_ began to think about it, it filled him with dread and anxiety. Texting Yuta that he wanted to sleep over might suggest to the older than he wants to have sex, when that’s not entirely the case – he just wants to know if she should bring his pyjamas and a toothbrush.  
  
   “I guess,” Sicheng whispered. His fingers turned to the phone and began to tentatively type a text message.  
  
   _‘Hyung, do you think I’m gonna sleep over? Just want to know so I can bring my toothbrush and pyjamas and stuff ^^’  
  
_    He let out a short breath when his fingertip pressed against the send button. Within 10 seconds, Yuta had sent a reply.  
  
   _‘you can if you want x’  
   ‘don’t feel pressured too tho i can drive you home’  
  
_    “He said I can if I want,” Sicheng said, turning his head to look at Kun. The latter clearly had little interest in Sicheng and Yuta’s relationship, judged by the slight look of annoyance that flashed across his eyes. Judging by some off remarks, Kun wasn’t exactly happy with where he and Ten were, and so perhaps all of this talk about Yuta was just pouring salt into an open wound. Luckily, Sicheng was none the wiser and looked at the younger with a hint of nervousness. “What should I say?”  
  
   “Well, do you want to stay over?”  
  
   “Kinda, yeah.”  
  
   “Then say that you want to stay over,” Kun breathed, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. It wasn’t Sicheng’s fault that he had no idea how to gauge social situations. Fortunately, Kun’s passive aggressiveness was going right over Sicheng’s head. The older began to text Yuta, deleting and re-arranging his words until they were perfect.  
  
   _‘Okay :) I’ll pack my pyjamas and stuff x’  
  
   ‘sure thing x’  
  
_    Sicheng promptly threw his phone onto his bed beside him and jumped up. Whisking up his bag, the blonde boy opened his drawer and took out his black pyjama shorts and a pastel pink sweatshirt he liked to wear to bed. Thinking of tomorrow morning, he also packed another pair of black jeans and his denim jacket, along with a white t-shirt. He had a lecture early tomorrow morning, so he also packed his notebook and pencil case, so he wouldn’t have to return back to the dorm for them. Sicheng put in some fresh underwear, another pair of socks, before running to the ensuite and shoving his toothbrush and toothpaste into the bag as well. Kun was just smirking at the flustered boy from his bed.  
  
   “That was fast,” he noted, nodding towards Sicheng’s backpack which seemed to be full to the brim. “Excited?”  
  
   The older tentatively nodded. “I should get going now, though. It’s already pretty late, so…”  
  
   “No problem. Have a good time, Sicheng,” Kun smiled.  
  
   Once Sicheng had left the dorm, he wasn’t surprised to feel the wind run its icy fingers along his exposed skin. The walk to Yuta’s fraternity wasn’t that far, luckily, or else Sicheng may find himself frozen into a literal block of ice. It was the 1st of November, the start of the month seeming to bring with it even harsher winds. Yesterday was Halloween, and whilst Sicheng was kind of annoyed that he missed it, he didn’t really care – Halloween for him used to just be dressing up and watching a scary movie with his Dad. Sicheng’s hands were buried in his coat pockets, with his head down, focusing only on the dimly lit pavement before him. It was 9:30pm, and so the street would be pitch black had it not been for the street lamps or the occasional headlights from passing cars. After the walk over the lawn and a turn down a side street, Sicheng found himself in front of the fraternity. As he walked up he front garden, his eyes drifted upwards to all of the windows which were still lit, a hubbub of activity behind them. Once he’d pressed on the door bell, Sicheng politely waited, balancing on his feet.  
  
   The door flew open, Jaehyun standing on the other side. He was stood in a red jersey and black shorts, with a pair of white socks. Instantly, he smiled at the blonde boy, welcoming him in inside.  
  
   “Sicheng-ssi! I haven’t seen you in so long. How are you doing?”  
  
   “Good! I’m good,” he smiled. “How about you?”  
  
   Jaehyun closed the door behind Sicheng, having held it open for the older. Despite the age difference, with Sicheng being 4 months older than the fellow first year, Jaehyun was taller, broader and much more confident than the former had ever been.  
  
   “I’m doing well. Yuta hyung said you came to see the football game last week?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “Yeah, I did – I saw you play! Congratulations on winning,” he smiled, nodding his head. Jaehyun just let out a soft laugh and waved his hand, as to put the older at ease.  
  
   “Thanks, man. Hey – I’ll go get Yuta for you. Make yourself comfortable,” he winked, before running up the stairs. Sicheng didn’t exactly know what to do, not really wanting to take his shoes or coat off just yet. He was still freezing, after all. Instead, Sicheng remained in the same place, watching Jaehyun’s athletic figure disappear up the stairs. The 19 year old played with his fingers as he awkwardly stood in the lobby of the fraternity, avoiding the glances teenage boys would throw his way when they passed him by.  
  
   Suddenly, Yuta’s voice clearly sounded down the staircase.  
  
   “Sicheng!”  
  
   The blonde boy’s eyes flitted up to meet his hyung’s, who was bounding down the stairs. Yuta was wearing a loose fitting red t-shirt and tight navy blue track pants which had 3 white lines running up the side, as well as a pair of thick off-white socks. He had a brilliant smile painted across his face as he bounded down the steps towards his dongsaeng. Sicheng let out a surprised laugh when Yuta wrapped him into a hug, squeezing him ever so slightly. The younger’s arms fitted naturally around Yuta’s body, yet he was hyperaware that Jaehyun was trailing slowly behind the latter with a sly grin on his face. Yuta pulled out of the hug, yet slung one of his arms around Sicheng’s shoulder.  
  
   “ _Fuck_ , you’re freezing,” Yuta whispered, taking Sicheng’s fingers into his free hand. At the sudden touch, Sicheng was pleased to know that his face was red due to the cold, not from the growing blush. “We put the heating on so you should feel warmer soon,” he smiled.  
  
   Sicheng turned his gaze from his fingers in Yuta’s hand, to the older’s eyes, before flickering to Jaehyun’s, who was watching the scene before him with a smirk.  
  
   “Cute,” he chuckled. Yuta turned his head from Sicheng to Jaehyun, acting as though he’d only just realised the first year was there. “Sicheng-ssi, when are you going to go out with us again? It’s nice to have someone sensible tag along for once.”  
  
   Yuta gave a slight chuckle, reassuringly rubbing Sicheng’s arm with the hand he had slung over the younger’s shoulder. “I don’t mind,” Sicheng whispered. “It was fun last time.”  
  
   “Usually hyung is the one that gets the most wasted, but you actually managed to keep him under control,” Jaehyun grinned, turning to Yuta.  
  
   “ _Bro_ , I’m not _that_ bad.”  
  
   “Who are you kidding?” the brown haired boy smirked. “Remember that one time where you drank _so_ many shots that – “  
  
   “ _Okay!_ ” Yuta laughed, stopping a laughing Jaehyun halfway through his sentence. Sicheng was smiling, enjoying the easy flow of conversation between the frat boys. “Sicheng doesn’t need to hear that.”  
  
   “I wouldn’t mind,” Sicheng tentatively said, an evil smile on his face. At this Jaehyun let out a roaring laugh, one the blonde boy had never heard from him before. On Yuta’s face was a look of mock shock, with an open mouth that was trying hard to supress a smile.  
  
   “I’ll tell you later, Sicheng-ssi,” Jaehyun grinned. He then gave a brief nod to the boys before walking off into the lounge area, which seemed to be much noisier than every other time Sicheng had been here.  
  
   “You’re supposed to be on _my_ side~” Yuta laughed, kneeling down and whisking Sicheng up off of his feet. The younger let out a slight gasp, followed by a set of laughter as Yuta held him bridal style, minding his backpack. Yuta then carried Sicheng up the first flight of stairs like that, before letting him down and walking up the rest side by side until they got to the 21 year old’s room. The latter held the door open, Sicheng walking into Yuta’s bedroom.  
  
   “Where can I put my bag?” Sicheng smiled, traces of exhilaration still running through his body after being picked up so easily. It were as though Sicheng weighed nothing more than a feather to the older.  
  
   “Anywhere you like,” Yuta said as he gestured around the room with his arms. It was much neater than last time, yet it still retained Yuta’s usual trademarks: the football boots, the CDs, the posters. Sicheng walked over to the chair by the door to the ensuite, and seeing that it had been cleared of the dirty clothes that had been there last time, set his bag down there. He then removed his coat, revealing the clean white hoodie he was wearing. Yuta had since sat down on the bed, cross legged, watching his dongsaeng’s every movement. Sicheng, having noticed Yuta’s sly grin, laughed slightly.  
  
   “What are you looking at?” he tentatively asked the older, walking over to the end of the bed. Yuta simply smiled from the middle of the bed in his cross legged position.  
  
   “You.”  
  
   “Why?”  
  
   “You’re pretty.”  
  
   He didn’t blush this time – no, Sicheng simply scoffed, laughing ever so slightly. “I doubt it – it was so windy outside so I think my hair is all messed up,”  
  
   “Nah, it’s nice,” Yuta smiled, jumping up from the bed. The pair then walked out of the bedroom, towards the lounge downstairs. Yuta walked through the doorway first, with Sicheng hot on his heels. The lounge was much like a common room, a room bursting with activity: there were several frat boys sat around or stood up, engaged in various activities. Some were just chatting, some were playing darts and others were eating from snack bowls placed in the middle of the table. Alongside the sound of pop music coming from one of the stereos, there were game noises coming from a group of boys sat around a games console that took up the TV screen. Feeling slightly lost, Sicheng just followed Yuta as he walked through the room. Luckily, no one seemed to be staring at him, everyone too engrossed in their own conversations.  
  
   “Sicheng!”  
  
   Both Yuta and Sicheng turned their heads to look at Ten, who was smiling at the both of them. His black hair was lying casually on his head, void of its usual gelled state. The 2 nd year had one hand wrapped around his phone, with the other waving at the blonde boy.  
  
   “Did you have a good birthday?”  
  
   “Yes!” Sicheng nodded. “I did, thank you. How did you remember?”  
  
   Ten let out an airy laugh, turning his eyes to the 21 year old stood next to the youngest. “Yuta hyung kept talking about it,” he said, before turning his voice in a lower pitch, attempting to imitate Yuta. “ _I hope Sichengie is having a good birthday… I wish I got to see him…_ ”  
  
   “Shut up,” Yuta scoffed, folding his arms in a defensive manner. “I did _not_ say that.”  
  
   “You didn’t?” Sicheng whispered, turning to look at his hyung. Suddenly, Yuta’s eyes turned from Ten’s towards the 19 year old, the look of annoyance being washed away by an image of gentleness.  
  
   “W-Well,” the oldest stammered. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place: admit to Sicheng that he was being soft, or lie and potentially hurt his feelings? Either way, Ten was finding it hilarious. “I said it but not like _that_ ,” Yuta defended.  
  
   Sicheng just smiled and rubbed his hyung’s arm, whilst the latter was busy sending death glares to a chuckling Ten. Yuta then whispered that he was going to get Sicheng a warm drink to rid him of the cold feeling in his body, leaving Ten and Sicheng in each other’s company in the crowded lounge. Ten lead the younger to one of the couches in the corner of the room which was barren of any social activity, granting some privacy for the pair. In Ten’s company, Sicheng felt safe. It was nice having the knowledge that there were older people looking out for you in a potentially uncomfortable setting. Sicheng got comfy on the couch whilst Ten sat across from him on one of the chairs.  
  
   “So, are you staying over tonight, Sicheng?”  
  
   The younger gently nodded. He didn’t want Ten to get the wrong idea – it was purely a sleepover. “Yeah,” he whispered, barely audible over the ambience of the lounge. “Last time I did it by accident but this time it’s planned~”  
  
   “You’ve already slept over?” Ten wondered.  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “You weren’t here, though. It was on Yuta hyung’s birthday.”  
  
   Ten paused. “Oh yeah! I was at…” suddenly, the older stopped talking. He pursed his lips, as though he’d said too much. Sicheng just gazed at him in a very _omniscient_ sense, knowing exactly why Ten may be uncomfortable. On Yuta’s birthday, that was when Ten slept over with Kun, at Sicheng’s own dorm. Presumably, as judging by both Kun and Ten’s secrecy, they were trying to keep it on the down low. But, as Yuta knew already: he’d already told Sicheng.  
  
   It was nice to be honest, though. Honesty was the best policy.  
  
   “I have an idea of where you were, hyung,” Sicheng spoke ever so softly, careful as to gauge how Ten would respond. The latter just let out a slight sigh, followed by a laugh.  
  
   “I guess we weren’t that discrete, huh.”  
  
   Sicheng just nodded. “I think it’s cute though. Kun still hasn’t told me, so.”  
  
   Now that Kun and Ten’s ‘relationship’ was out in the open, the chat between him and Sicheng felt much easier. It was revealed last Thursday that Kun and Ten were in a sexual relationship, but the former had been so adamant not to tell Sicheng anything about it. Ten seemed to be the opposite, though. He immediately began to talk about Kun, telling them about their story, and how they were just afraid of catching feelings for the other. In a sense, Ten said that he still is – which is why they haven’t labelled anything yet.  
  
   Finishing the conversation between the pair, Ten let out a smug grin. “We’re just friends with benefits. Kind of like you and Yuta,” Ten winked.  
  
   “Wh-?” Sicheng spluttered, looking at Ten with wide eyes. “W-We’re not friends with benefits.”  
  
   “You’re not?”  
  
   The younger shook his head.  
  
   “Damn… you two haven’t sealed the deal yet?”  
  
   “W-We’ve kissed, but… that’s it,” Sicheng said, averting his gaze as though it was something to be ashamed of. In reality, it really wasn’t – Sicheng _knew_ Yuta wasn’t expecting them to go at any kind of pre-determined pace in which the younger wasn’t comfortable with. But, in the eyes of the 2 nd year, he couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment. Ten made Sicheng feel as though he _should_ be having sex with Yuta, as though it was something that would prove they liked it each other. But Sicheng just liked cuddling and kissing Yuta, with the idea of going any further not sitting well with him. Maybe in the not-so-distant future, but as of right now, he wasn’t ready.  
  
   “That’s okay,” Ten smiled. “It’s just different for Yuta ‘cause, he doesn’t strike me as the kinda guy to wait.”  
  
   “He doesn’t?” Sicheng whispered, to which Ten shook his head. “Yuta hyung is really sweet… he doesn’t want to rush anything. And – neither do I,” he finished.  
  
   Ten just let out a sympathetic smile, leaning over and patting Sicheng’s knee. “ _Fuck_ – he really likes you, Sicheng. Yuta’s never usually like that, but then again… you’re like the first guy he’s dated who he actually cares about.”  
  
   The 19 year old gently smiled. Suddenly, Yuta slipped his hand onto Sicheng’s shoulder from behind, seeing as the blonde boy was resting against the arm of the couch. In Yuta’s hands was a mug, steam emanating from its contents. Ten got up and gently bowed, leaving the pair in peace. Yuta took the same seat as Ten, gently passing Sicheng the mug, who took it into his grasp. Immediately, the warm sensation ran from his fingertips and down his arms, up into his body. He didn’t even care what it was as he took a sip, pleased to find out it was hot chocolate.  
  
   “I hope Ten didn’t terrorize you too much,” Yuta grinned, spreading his legs and turning his head to watch Sicheng.  
  
   “No, he’s sweet~” Sicheng smiled. “He told me that him and Kun are ‘friends with benefits’, but Kun is still keeping it all a secret from me,” he grinned.  
  
   “They’re so fuckin’ obvious, I don’t know why he’s not telling you.”  
  
   Sicheng just shrugged. “It’s whatever. I’ll wait for him to tell me. The funniest thing Ten said though was that, he thought _we_ were friends with benefits as well,” Sicheng giggled.  
  
   Yuta just smirked. “We’re not?”  
  
   “Shut up!” Sicheng laughed, kicking Yuta’s thigh whilst carefully holding the mug of hot chocolate. Yuta was gently chuckling in return, eyes trained on Sicheng’s lips as he licked some of the hot chocolate off of them. Within a few minutes, Sicheng had drained his mug, Yuta quickly jumping to his feet and taking the porcelain from him. As he walked to the kitchen, the younger followed him, weaving through the frat boys who were still engaged in their many games. Once they were in the kitchen, it was much quieter, Sicheng hanging back as Yuta placed the used mug on the edge of the sink.  
  
   “Would you like something to eat?” Yuta smiled, puffing his chest. “You know that I’m an _amazing_ chef.”  
  
   Sicheng just shook his head, smiling. “No, it’s okay – I ate before coming here. I wish I could experience your… _culinary expertise_ again, though. That toast was just – wow! Amazing.”  
  
   Yuta smirked, doing a mock bow of gratitude. “What can I say? I’m basically Gordon Ramsey.”  
  
   The pair then sat down opposite each other at the counter, conversation aflutter with soft laughs whilst they would steal quick glances. Yuta was leaning forward on the counter, too close for just friends, but not a massive invasion of personal space. It was a comfortable position. Because of Yuta’s position, his biceps were flexing ever so slightly in his shirt, which Sicheng had no shame in admitting that was his weakness. The sight of muscles made him feel weak in the knees, and he was sure Yuta knew, hence why he was using them to his advantage. Conversation flowed easily between the 2 boys, Sicheng getting gutsier as the talk continued, and leaning in slightly as well. He grinned to himself when Yuta pulled back ever so slightly. It was as though Sicheng had established some sort of dominance, which was such a shift in attitude between them – usually, Yuta could send Sicheng a glance and the younger would be a flustered mess. Eventually, after an hour or so of mindless chatting had passed, the activity in the lounge had died down, with most boys leaving through the front door or heading upstairs to their rooms. Yuta and Sicheng weren’t far behind, getting back to Yuta’s room at around 11pm.  
  
   “What time do you usually go to bed?” Sicheng wondered as he walked into Yuta’s bedroom. The older followed him in, closing the door so it was just them. Sicheng turned his head ever so slightly, his side profile being illuminated by the soft glow of Yuta’s bedside lamp.  
  
   “Later than this,” he grinned. “But I don’t mind if you wanna go to sleep now~”  
  
   “No I was just wondering – I’m not _that_ dull,” Sicheng giggled. “And uh… I don’t know if this is a stupid question,” he whispered, walking around the bed. Yuta had since collapsed onto the bed on his back, head turned and watching his dongsaeng’s movements. “But… we are sleeping in the same bed this time, right?”  
  
   Yuta let out a laugh that was slightly _too_ loud, Sicheng laughing slightly as well. “No, Sicheng, you’re going to sleep on the floor.”  
  
   “How am I meant to know!” Sicheng pouted.  
  
   Yuta just grinned, flipping his body so he was now lying on his front. He held up his chin with both his palms. “You want to sleep together though, right? _Not_ in that sense-“ he quickly corrected himself, much to Sicheng’s sudden blush. “But like – in the same bed.”  
  
   “Y-Yeah,” Sicheng nodded. He took a seat on the bed, shuffling so he was facing Yuta whilst sitting in a cross legged position. “I’m sorry that I seem clueless,” he whispered. Sicheng’s fingers started playing with the hem of his sweatshirt. “I just don’t know how stuff like this usually works.”  
  
   “It’s okay,” Yuta soothed, sitting up. He moved over to the head of the bed, resting his back on the board, so Sicheng was sitting at his feet. “I dunno what to say either. Like, I don’t know how to ask if you wanna cuddle again without sounding dumb.”  
  
   Sicheng just let out a giggle, shuffling up the bed into Yuta’s open arm. It was a swift movement, as though the side of Yuta’s body was moulded exactly for Sicheng’s. He leant into Yuta’s body, moving one hand onto his chest and the other under his own head. Yuta’s hand found itself around Sicheng’s waist, whilst the other linked itself with the latter’s which was on his chest. If the hot chocolate hadn’t warmed him up, this was _definitely_ working. Yuta let out a content sigh as Sicheng cuddled into his body.  
  
   The comfortable silence was broken by Sicheng’s soft voice.  
  
   “I really like you.”  
  
   Yuta gently chuckled, careful not to disrupt Sicheng’s head. “I really like you too.”  
  
   Tentatively, Sicheng turned his head up from its current position, looking to Yuta’s eyes. The older quickly looked down to Sicheng’s. There was a baited pause as Sicheng’s eyes wandered over Yuta’s lips. He wanted to kiss Yuta, make the first move for once, but he had no –  
  
   Luckily, his running thoughts were disrupted with the sensation of Yuta’s lips slotting against his own. Sicheng shifted his body so he could properly kiss Yuta back, savouring the feeling of his hyung’s soft lips. Once they broke apart, Sicheng was quick to lean back in and connect the pair once more. It was a sweet sensation, everything calming itself down in the pair’s worlds. All they needed was each other to ground themselves.  
  
   But it wasn’t enough. Sicheng was filled with a sudden… _desire_. He wanted more.  
  
   He didn’t know how to convey it, so he pushed forward slightly during another kiss, Yuta having to use his other hand to steady the younger. Sicheng was now lying on his front by Yuta’s side, the latter of which was lying on his back. The younger’s palm was on Yuta’s chest as he leant up into the kisses, hungry for something more than this. Suddenly, an unknown feeling flickered across Sicheng’s bottom lip, until he realised it was Yuta’s tongue. As though it were a natural instinct, Sicheng’s mouth opened to accommodate Yuta’s tongue slipping in. It filled Sicheng with an electric feeling. He was so used to being scared of the unknown, but whilst he was kissing Yuta, the unknown _enticed_ him. With a tentative attitude, Sicheng slid his tongue against Yuta’s, the older letting out a slight hum, as though it were positive feedback. The air of the bedroom was charged, every fibre of the 19 year old’s body feeling as though static energy was coursing through it. Sicheng moved his body so he was half on Yuta’s, a leg slung over the older’s hips. Yuta’s hands began to roam, gently moving up and down his dongsaeng’s back.  
  
   It was a very sudden motion, when Yuta’s experienced hands rolled Sicheng off of him. Immediately, Yuta was then hovering above the latter, Sicheng letting out a slight giggle at the sudden intimacy (as though what they had been doing a few seconds earlier meant nothing). Sicheng wrapped his arms around Yuta’s neck as the pair began to make out once more, the older’s body tentatively hovering. The blonde boy was breathless by the time they pulled apart.  
  
   “Why’d you stop?” Sicheng whispered, looking into his hyung’s hazel eyes.  
  
   Yuta’s eyes were full of seduction, yet behind them, there was a lingering sense of protection. He didn’t want to mishandle Sicheng – he cared too much about him to ever think about doing such a thing.  
  
   “I just… want to make sure you’re okay,” he whispered, looking down at the younger. “Let’s just take it slow, yeah?”  
  
   Sicheng gently nodded. “I like kissing you,” he spoke, looking up at Yuta with doe eyes. “But… I _just_ like kissing,” he whispered. Sicheng was sure that he _didn’t_ want to have sex with Yuta, even if the aching sensation down below was saying otherwise. He was happy with where they were right now. Kissing Yuta was great! But… anything else still frightened him.  
  
   “I understand,” Yuta whispered. The boundaries had been set – he knew what to do. “We can keep kissing, yeah?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded, still flustered by the fact that Yuta was above him in such a manner. He leant up once more, giving Yuta an innocent kiss, before the older swooped down and took the 19 year old’s bottom lip into his control once more. It only took a few more moments for their tongues to begin gliding against one another once more, Sicheng arching his back ever so slightly. The physical contact that Yuta’s (clothed) chest brought was enough to cause Sicheng to moan into the formers mouth ever so slightly. Immediately, he regretted it, yet Yuta was smiling into their kisses. Yuta’s hands, which were on either side of Sicheng’s body in a ‘press-up’ position, slid beneath the younger and pulled. The light brown haired boy rolled onto his back, with Sicheng now lying on top of him. He was grinning as Sicheng looked into his eyes, quick to press their lips together once more.  
  
   Yuta’s body felt _so_ nice, as he ran his hands over his chest, his arms. The older must of taken notice, as the muscles on his arms turned harder all of a sudden. Yuta was really _flexing_. Sicheng laughed into their kiss, Yuta looking up at him like a puppy who had brought home a twig, desperate for adoration. The 21 year old’s hands were moving around Sicheng’s back, yet he made sure to keep them _just_ on his back and no where else. Sicheng was grateful for this, as if he felt Yuta’s hands slide further down his body, he might jump in shock and bite his tongue off or something. _Not_ an ideal situation.  
  
   Regardless, Sicheng didn’t want to leave this moment. Lying on Yuta was surprisingly comfortable, and he was enjoying the sensation of a foreign touch on his back. Sicheng used his hands to embrace Yuta’s face, connecting their lips once more. He shifted his body ever so slightly, _desperate_ for any kind of friction, gently grinding against Yuta’s hip. Once Sicheng felt the friction between Yuta’s body and his own, he realised it was escalating too far. It wasn’t Yuta’s fault, but Sicheng’s: he felt a need to control himself. So, with that in mind, he broke apart and planted a chaste kiss on the light brown haired boy’s lips and rolled off of him, so they were lying side-by-side on the bed.  
  
   The pair’s heavier than normal breathing filled the room. Sicheng felt energized, as though he could run a marathon. His eyes drifted as he turned his head to look at his hyung, surprised to see that the older was already looking back.  
  
   “T-That was fun,” Sicheng whispered, slightly out of breath.  
  
   “You’re telling me,” Yuta smiled, leaning forward and planting another chaste kiss on Sicheng’s lips.  
  
   “Thank you for not pressuring me,” the younger whispered. His fingers reached for Yuta’s, the pair linking hands as they lay next to one another. “It’s just… scary. A good scary but – agh, I don’t know,”  
  
   “Babe, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. The last thing I’d wanna do is make you uncomfortable.”  
  
   There it was – Yuta’s inexplicable talent. Sicheng’s blush re-appeared on his face brighter than ever at the pet name. It made something within him stir, a feeling which he couldn’t distinguish. He whispered a thank you, leaning forward and kissing Yuta’s cheek. Sicheng then excused himself, saying how he was going to get ready for bed. All of the kissing had tired him out – something which Yuta definitely agreed to. With a slight struggle, the younger got up off of the bed and zipped open his backpack, taking out his black pyjama shorts and the pastel pink sweatshirt. He then slipped into the bathroom and locked the door. The workings of the shower were familiar to him this time, and the distinctive smell of Yuta’s deodorant that lingered through the room was comforting. Once Sicheng had undressed, showered and gotten changed, he unlocked the door and slipped into the bedroom. Yuta hadn’t moved from his position, the only difference was that he was now scrolling through his phone. As he saw Sicheng, his eyes lit up.  
  
   “Sichengie,” Yuta whispered.  
  
   “Hm?”  
  
   “Uh – for my pyjamas, I usually just sleep in my underwear,” he whispered, looking down to the floor as he got up from the bed. “If you want I can sleep in something else?”  
  
   Sicheng just shook his head. It was only Yuta in his underwear. He’d already seen his body on many occasions, except this time he’d just… be cuddling him. When he was practically naked. _Okay_ , when Sicheng thought of it like that, it was daunting, but… exciting, at the same time. And who was Sicheng to deny Yuta of being comfortable? It was Yuta’s fraternity in which he was staying at, after all.  
  
   “I don’t mind,” Sicheng smiled. Yuta just let out a sigh of relief and thanked Sicheng, before opening the drawer and getting a pair of fresh underwear out. Once the bathroom door had locked, with Sicheng hearing the shower running, the latter slipped underneath Yuta’s bed covers. The sheets were warm thanks to where the pair had been lying before hand, so he found himself automatically curling up to catch all of the heat. Sicheng’s shorts weren’t the tightest or the longest, so the cold parts of the covers would bite at his exposed thighs. After a few minutes of Sicheng warming the bed up, the bathroom door unlocked.  
  
   When Yuta walked out, he looked like a completely different person. His toned body, free of clothing apart from a pair of tight red boxers, was glistening in the orange ambient cast by the bedside lamp. It was Sicheng’s first time _truly_ seeing Yuta like this. His legs were nicely proportioned to the rest of his body, the muscles on his calves making it clear that he played sports. Yuta was still quite slim, yet his impressive muscular state could fool anyone. His light brown hair was still damp from the shower, and had been left in its natural state atop of his head. Sicheng was trying to keep his eyes from Yuta’s underwear, but it was a lot easier said than done. The 19 year old’s eyes drifted over the sizeable bulge, before quickly turning away. Yuta didn’t seem to mind though. But, then again, if Sicheng had a body like his, he wouldn’t mind people ogling over him either. Sicheng welcomed Yuta as he slipped beneath the sheets with a gentle kiss.  
  
   After Yuta had fussed around with the putting both of their phones on charge, he leaned over Sicheng and clicked the lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. He didn’t even realise Yuta had his arms open, until he was cuddling into them. Sicheng and Yuta were facing each other from their side of the bed, Yuta’s arms resting around Sicheng’s body. They weren’t pressing into each other for… _obvious_ reasons, but it was a comfortable position for both of them.  
  
   “Hyung,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “Hm?”  
  
   It was a question Sicheng had been wanting to ask for a while. He never knew when to bring it up, but when they were doused in such a tranquil atmosphere, right before drifting off to sleep, it seemed like a good time. Sicheng wasn’t sure on how Yuta would respond, but if the night’s event’s had proven anything, he had an inkling of an idea as to what he’d say.  
  
   “A-Are we boyfriends?”  
  
   Even though it was dark in the bedroom, Sicheng could still see his shining smile.  
  
   “Lee Sicheng, are you asking me out?” he purred, rubbing Sicheng’s hip comfortingly.  
  
   “I dunno,” the younger grinned, moving forward to connect their lips slightly. It was such a fun thing to do, kissing Yuta, that Sicheng wished he could do it forever.  
  
   “Well, I’d like to think of us as boyfriends,” Yuta whispered, moving his hand to Sicheng’s back and bringing him forward slightly. “If that’s what you want.”  
  
   “I’d love that,” Sicheng softly whispered, kissing Yuta again. “So we’re boyfriends now?”  
  
   “We sure are.”  
  
   He let out a soft giggle. Usually, Sicheng felt like screaming whenever he was presented with progression in their relationship. Like that time on his birthday where he nearly squealed over the phone because Yuta called him ‘cutie’. But this time, he just felt _content_. Yuta was his boyfriend. They were official. Everything would be okay. Sicheng never thought he’d have someone of his own to call his boyfriend. His dreams seemed too unrealistic to ever come true, so as Sicheng was lying in bed with Yuta, it all seemed too good to be real.  
  
   “Goodnight hyung,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “Goodnight Sichengie,”  
  
   Sicheng rolled over in Yuta’s arms, so the pair were spooning. The _boyfriends_ were spooning. Yuta’s hands connected across Sicheng’s stomach, every worry leaving his body as his head nestled into the pillows on Yuta’s bed. He was ignoring (yet somewhat enjoying) the pressing of Yuta’s bulge on his thigh, because he was appreciating the comfort of having his boyfriend – his _boyfriend_ – cuddling him to sleep. Sicheng was rubbing Yuta’s arms as they tightened around him, a sensation he’d never get tired of. Before long, Sicheng could hear Yuta’s heavy and consistent breathing. It was shortly followed by his own, the boys falling asleep in their cuddling position.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   The week had flown by, in what seemed to be nothing but a sweet vision of extreme happiness for Sicheng. Having Yuta as his official boyfriend – it was just _right_. It seemed like such an unusual pairing, a loud and charismatic frat boy dating the quiet son of a mob boss. But Sicheng _loved_ it. He had someone to call his own, someone he could message anything, at anytime of day, and receive a response. Whenever he saw Yuta’s name pop up on his phone, the 19 year old couldn’t help himself from getting all excited and quickly going to respond, yet pausing in order to make him seem cool and not too clingy. They’d seen each other once since Tuesday, and that was just a brief 5 minute meet up at the café Ten worked at. After Sicheng left Yuta’s, the older forgot to give him his birthday present, and so whilst the older was on his way to a lecture he took the time out of his day to finally give his gift to his boyfriend.  
  
   It was now Saturday, and Sicheng was sat on one of the benches in the university’s main auditorium. The auditions for the Christmas Dance Recital were today, and the hall was _packed_ full of students.  
  
   In terms of auditioning, it was rather a complicated process.  
  
   The Christmas Recital this year was an entire production, based off of the theme of Alice in Wonderland, taking elements from several other programs throughout the school. For example, the recital wasn’t in need of _just_ dancers, but they were accepting acting and singing roles as well. Therefore, auditions were split into the 3 different themes. He was unsure of the audition process for the other categories, but he knew what he had to do for dance. The audition would compromise of a showcase of your talents – much like Taemin had the students do all those weeks ago. In Sicheng’s mind, it was almost like Taemin had planned this. Regardless, Sicheng was just going to reuse the original dance he had presented to his class. Throughout the week leading up to the auditions, he polished the routine off, to make sure it hadn’t escaped his mind and that his moves were still swift.  
  
   In Sicheng’s hands was his aforementioned birthday present from Yuta. The older said how he was struggling on what to get his boyfriend, yet when Sicheng opened the box and found a pair of rose gold pointe shoes, his heart skipped a beat. They were _perfect_. Yuta couldn’t hold the smug look that was shortly painted across his face as Sicheng let out a gasp of delight when he lifted them up.  
  
   And even though that was a week ago, Sicheng’s heart still fluttered when his fingers brushed over them as he waited for his audition. The auditorium was abuzz with conversation, yet the blonde boy sat in silence, simply admiring the pointe shoes in his hands. He hadn’t bothered to change into them yet.  
  
   “Sicheng, we really should stop bumping into each other like this.”  
  
   Upon hearing his name, Sicheng’s head flickered up to look at the boy stood in front of him.  
  
   _Ten_. Of course it was Ten. He was on the same dance course as him, just in his 2 nd year. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to assume he would be auditioning for a part in the recital as well.  
  
   “Hi hyung,” Sicheng smiled, straightening his posture. Ten took the empty space on the bench next to him, gently patting the younger’s back and smiling. The black haired boy didn’t hold as much… brute intimidation, as Yuta did. Yuta was domineering, his presence was always known whenever he was in the room. Even the way the 21 year old sat, with his legs spread, showed his confidence. Yet Ten was different. He wasn’t that much different to Sicheng in figure, the pair of boys sporting lithe bodies. _Dancer’s_ bodies. Ten sat with his legs crossed, something Sicheng was appreciative of – Yuta always took up so much space whenever they sat next to each other. Whilst Yuta had a strong aura, Ten had something different, more elegant – more _sassy_. The pair of frat boys were both powerful, yet in different ways completely. Whilst Yuta had the power to physically beat you down (not that he ever would, of course), Ten had the power to verbally lash you. In all honesty, Sicheng had no idea which one was more intimidating.  
  
   “So, a little bird told me that you and Yuta hyung are _boyfriends_ ,” Ten grinned.  
  
   Sicheng let out a soft laugh, avoiding Ten’s stare. It still seemed so unrealistic to the younger, as though Sicheng was going to wake up any second and realise it was all just a figment of his imagination.  
  
   “Yeah, we are,” the younger shyly nodded.  
  
   “I never thought I’d live to see the day Yuta could call someone his boyfriend. It’s cute, though – you two are cute together~”  
  
   Sicheng just smiled. “Thanks. I never thought I’d call someone my boyfriend either.”  
  
   Ten hummed. “Yuta wasn’t always like this, you know.”  
  
   “How has he changed?” Sicheng wondered absent mindedly, taking his eyes off of his pointe shoes and turning so he could look at Ten.  
  
   “Well – I’m not dissing Yuta when I say this, but he used to have… _partners_ , if you know what I mean. If I was up early enough I’d catch them leaving his room and stuff,” Ten tentatively said. Sicheng just nodded, not showing any emotion: he knew Yuta’s past, more or less. It wasn’t a surprise. “We’d go clubbing and stuff, that’s where he’d usually meet them. You know Yuta, he’s witty, charming, can make someone feel good about themselves. He’d always use his tricks to woo people. But… it’s different with you.”  
  
   “It is?”  
  
   Ten nodded instantly. “Oh yeah. When he looks at you, it’s so much different. It’s hard to explain. Yuta, like, just wants to protect you. He’s very protective of you, but I guess you wouldn’t know that.”  
  
   Sicheng just smiled. “It’s nice. I feel like… someone’s on my side, for once.”  
  
   The older just patted Sicheng’s knee. “You’ve got a good one.”  
  
   Once Ten’s lips shut, the person at the front of the auditorium called out Sicheng’s number. With a slight gasp Sicheng threw his trainers off and replaced them with his special pointe shoes that Yuta bought for him. He departed from Ten with a wave, and weaved his way through the crowd, taking no notice of the occasional stares or points that his presence would attract. As Sicheng got to the front, he made a turn and walked through one of the doors. He walked down a set of stairs, and he was in what looked like the school gymnasium. In the middle of the room was a long grey table, with several stern-looking adults seated behind it. In front of them were clipboards and empty water bottles, presumably drained throughout the day. Sicheng made his way onto the red ‘x’ marked out with duct tape.  
  
   “Lee Sicheng,” a woman with jet black hair spoke. Her eyes widened slightly, before returning to a cold gaze. She turned up from the clipboard and onto Sicheng’s lithe figure, his bright pointe shoes contrasting with his tight black t-shirt and shorts. “You are auditioning for dance, correct?”  
  
   Sicheng gave a gentle nod. After seeing this, the woman raised her hand and swept it through the air, indicating that Sicheng should begin. The latter used his phone, which had been clutched tightly in his hand, and scrolled through his music library. Upon finding the track he wanted, he clicked play and did a soft jog over to the stereo, placing his phone atop of it. Once he was back on the red ‘x’, Sicheng’s body began to react to the soft music that was playing.  
  
   He could never really recall what it felt like to dance. It was a feeling that came too fast, and was gone too soon. The 19 year old always claimed that he felt detached, as though he was watching a different blonde boy dance from afar. It came natural to him, every note in the song reacting in time to his body. The pirouettes, plies, arabesques – they were _nothing_. It was as though they were all Sicheng had known, his entire being having been derived from the artform that was dance. Watching in awe were the adults, looking from Sicheng’s graceful routine to each other every now and then. That was what motivated Sicheng to keep going – he savoured creating a feeling of anticipation in others, making them want – no _need_ to see what Sicheng is going to do next. The song was over too soon, a shock to everyone in the room that 2 minutes could pass so quickly.  
  
   The lingering effects of his dance were slowly leaving Sicheng’s body, the boy feeling as though he was returning to his normal self. He corrected his posture, standing with both feet together and his hands linked in front of his body. His breathing was gentle yet _fast_ , and a slight sheen of sweat was lining his forehead. There was a pregnant pause between the end of the routine and the officials speaking once more.  
  
   “Thank you,” the woman at the centre of the table spoke, clearing her throat slightly. She quickly turned to the other instructors quickly, who gave curt nods. “And we’ll be seeing you for the call backs, a week today. You’ll need to prepare another dance, but – we’re _sure_ you’re more than capable. Same time, same place.”  
  
   “O-Okay! Thank you,” Sicheng smiled, out of breath. He turned to leave, giddy with the impact he had. He’d made call backs, which was definitely a good thing – the embarrassment that would have been felt had Sicheng not been accepted. It all felt like a competition to Sicheng: everyone in his class was auditioning, and so to not be called back would definitely be an insult. Even if it was a competition, he had a lurking feeling that he was winning. Fuelled with a surge of confidence and power, he walked with his chin up towards the door.  
  
   Just as he was about to leave, any lasting impression of power he had on the judges evaporated as he quickly ran back to get his phone which he’d foolishly left. Suppressing his flushed face, he did a quick walk back to the exit.  
  
   _Back to normal._ Back to the bottom of the food chain.  
  
   He walked back to the auditorium to get his coat and bag. Quickly, he turned his phone on and opened his message history with Yuta.  
  
   _‘I made it! They want to see me again :) x’  
  
_    By the time Sicheng re-entered the auditorium, Ten having left his seat to go chat to his friends, Yuta sent a response.  
  
   _‘yes!! i’m so proud of you!! x’  
   ‘i want to see you again too :) x’  
  
_    Hoisting his bag over his shoulder, Sicheng’s eyes were glued to the screen as he walked out the building.  
  
   _‘We could have another sleep over ^^ x’  
  
_    _‘sounds good … how about we sleep over at your dorm? x’  
  
_    Sicheng hummed to himself.  
  
   _‘I’m not sure – I only have a single bed x’  
   ‘Also Kun is my roommate’  
  
_    _‘we can fit in a single bed ;) x’  
  
   _ Sicheng laughed to himself. He could imagine the cocky grin Yuta would have on his face. That boy must think he’s _so_ smooth.  
  
   _‘also i’m sure kun and ten will just stay over at the fraternity’  
   ‘it’ll be like house swap! xx’  
  
   ‘Whatever you say x’  
   ‘When should you come over?’  
  
   ‘i have a stupid photography exam next week so i should probably study for that’  
   ‘but … id rather see you hehe xx’  
  
   ‘Hyung! You have to study x’  
  
_    The response from Yuta came a few seconds too slow. Sicheng had now finished walking across the largest lawn of the university, taking a turn that would lead him through the quads and courtyards until he ended up back at his dorm.  
  
   _‘i don’t wanna :(‘  
  
   ‘You gotta x’  
  
   ‘:(((((‘  
  
_    _‘We can have a sleep over next Saturday ^^’  
  
_    The response was almost immediate. Sicheng pursed his lips when he read Yuta’s new message.  
  
   _‘but that’s a week away!!’  
   ‘i gotta see you before then x’_  
  
   Yuta had a point. Thinking about his response, Sicheng’s fingers hovered over the keys. He desperately wanted to see Yuta again, that’s for sure, and he didn’t know if he was willing to wait an entire week. However, maybe if they didn’t see each other for ages, they’d have even more fun when they finally did meet up. It’d be hard to resist seeing each other, but Sicheng didn’t want Yuta to fail his exam.  
  
   _‘I’ll make sure our sleep over is the best one yet! x’  
  
_    _‘will ya now? ;) xx’  
  
_    Sicheng let out an awkward laugh to himself.  
  
   _‘I meant like… playing twister or something’  
   ‘Get your mind out the gutter  >:( x’  
  
_   He finally reached his dorm building. Sicheng had been having more and more _thoughts_ about Yuta ever since their last sleep over. It was becoming less of a want, and more of a desire, to kiss his boyfriend. Thinking about the time they slept in the same bed, Yuta’s body pressed against his – Sicheng couldn’t help but feel excited. He wanted to do it again.  
  
   Except… this time, maybe Sicheng was ready for _more_ than just innocent kisses.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all had a spooky halloween :)  
> sorry that i didnt get to cover anything halloweeny in this fic: i was thinking of writing a spooky jaewin one-shot though
> 
> as always you can contact me on twitter, @orbityuta or on curious cat, george_uwu, if you wanna talk !!
> 
> expect a possible rating change next chapter ... eek !!
> 
> thanks for reading!!


	11. the feeling of Intensity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuta and Sicheng have a sleepover at the latter's dorm for a change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> already another update!
> 
> be warned! the rating has changed, and has moved from 'mature' to 'explicit' :eyes:

   The first week of November passed by at a dreadfully slow pace. Sicheng kept his promise to Yuta, and the pair hadn’t seen each other for 11 days at this point. It was painful for both of them: Sicheng had gotten used to having Yuta around, and was genuinely yearning for his company again. They texted, of course, but Sicheng really hoped Yuta was studying for his exam, so contact was brief and limited.  
  
   It was finally Saturday though – _the_ Saturday, where Yuta would sleep over at Sicheng’s for once. The younger was unusually nervous to see his boyfriend. Since they hadn’t seen each other in so long, a part of him was worried it would be awkward. The 19 year old didn’t really know what the pair would do, as Yuta was coming around quite late at 10pm, due to football practise. He was planning on just playing a movie on his laptop and then going to sleep, to be honest.  
  
   Kun was currently sat on his bed, packing his bag. Everything was out in the open, now – Sicheng told Kun that he knew about him and Ten. The younger just expressed how guilty he had been feeling for not talking about it, claiming that it would be better to keep it a secret in the case that they stopped seeing each other. Either way, it was clear to Sicheng that both of the boys liked each other _a lot_ , yet were incredibly confused over their feelings. It wasn’t Sicheng’s place to offer relationship advice anyway. Nonetheless, Kun and Ten were gonna spend the night together at the fraternity, whilst Yuta and Sicheng had the dorm room to themselves.  
  
   “Sicheng, he’s a frat boy. He’s honestly not gonna notice if the dorm room is clean or not. Just… _chill_ ,” Kun said. Sicheng was currently going around the windowsill with a bright blue duster, in a feeble attempt to tidy the place up. Both beds had already been made, the bathroom had been cleaned from top to bottom, everything was orderly and _perfect_. The blonde boy was going overboard with his tidying process, but it was calming him down.  
  
   “It’s just putting my mind at rest,” Sicheng whispered, keeping his eyes on where he was currently dusting.  
  
   “Damn, you’re really nervous, huh?” Kun grinned, zipping his bag up. “You’ll be fine. Honestly.”  
  
   “I know I’m just… _scared_ ,” the older laughed.  
  
   “Scared? How come?”  
  
   Sicheng paused. He stopped dusting, and turned around. Not giving an answer, he just moved over to his bed, kneeling down and slipping the duster into one of the drawers. When he stood back up, Sicheng turned and met the smirk on Kun’s face.  
  
   “Do you think you’re gonna…” Kun cleared his throat. “You know.”  
  
   Did Sicheng think he and Yuta were going to have sex? _Yes_. It was once a frightening thought, but throughout the week, Sicheng had been thinking about it more and more. He was craving Yuta’s presence, Yuta’s _touch_ , except his thoughts weren’t nearly as innocent as they once were. It was still a scary concept, and Sicheng was incredibly nervous about the whole thing, but he felt somewhat ready. With Yuta, it wouldn’t be such a daunting thing to do – the older was soft, sweet, and _experienced_. He’d know what to do, because Sicheng felt pretty clueless. Not that he didn’t know how gay sex worked – he was pretty sure he knew about that.  
  
   The pregnant pause between Kun’s question and the lack of a response was confirmation in itself.  
  
   Kun was smiling, patting Sicheng’s back. “That’s why you’re so nervous. It’ll be fine, honestly. Just enjoy yourself.”  
  
   The older nodded, letting out a short sigh. “Thanks, I guess… have fun with Ten hyung.”  
  
   “Ah, yes – I should probably get going now. Yuta will probably be here any minute. And, now that I know what you two are gonna be up to, I’m _very_ glad I’m not staying over,” Kun laughed. “Have a good night! I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”  
  
   “O-Okay!” Sicheng nodded. Kun whisked up his bag, putting it on over his coat. “I’ll see you later.”  
  
   And with that, the dormitory room was closed. Sicheng was all by himself, nothing but his thoughts keeping him company. He had a few minutes before Yuta arrived. Quickly, Sicheng walked over to his backpack. Inside, were some purchases he made throughout the week, leading up to the sleepover. Not only had he bought some small candles to make the room seem more… _romantic_ , but he’d also bought a condom and a small tub of lube. Buying that was excruciatingly embarrassing for Sicheng – he had no idea how people could do that all the time. Regardless, Sicheng was prepared. He took out the packet of candles, opening them and placing them around the room: on the shelf, on the dresser, on the bedside table. There weren’t many, but it would suffice. Sicheng then took out a box of matches and proceeded to light them all, before blowing the match out and dimming the lights. Just as he finished putting everything away, there was a light knock on the door.  
  
   _Fuck_. This was actually happening.  
  
   Sicheng rushed over to the door, gently opening it. Yuta was stood on the other side with a brilliant smile on his face, his cheeks flushed red from the cold. He was wearing a blue, red and white windbreaker with a black t-shirt beneath it, alongside black track pants and a pair of white trainers. The 21 year old was holding a bouquet of roses, looking at the younger with doe eyes. It was as though it were second nature when the pair fell into each others arms. Yuta tightened his hold ever so slightly, whilst Sicheng nuzzled his head into the crook of the former’s neck.  
  
   “Long time no see, stranger,” Yuta grinned, slightly breathless. “These are for you~”  
  
   The younger smiled as he took the bouquet from Yuta, carefully holding them. “Thank you hyung,” Sicheng whispered, moving from the doorway to let his boyfriend walk in. Once Sicheng had closed the door, he turned around to see Yuta looking around dorm room with awe.  
  
   “ _Shit_ , it’s so nice in here,” Yuta whispered, looking around at the candles. His gentle smile of appreciation was brightened by the warm orange glimmer that the flames were creating. “Is it always like this?”  
  
   Sicheng let out a giggle. “No~ I made it all like, romantic and stuff. For you.”  
  
   Once Sicheng had put the roses on Kun’s bed, Yuta moved forward and took his boyfriend into an embrace, resting his arms around the 19 year old’s waist. “And here I was thinking we were gonna sacrifice someone, what with all these candles,” he grinned, looking into Sicheng’s eyes. The younger planted a chaste kiss on Yuta’s lips as he leant forward. It was a brave move for Sicheng – it was only ever Yuta who really initiated anything.     
  
   “We can arrange that, if you want,” Sicheng grinned.  
  
   Yuta leant forward and brushed their lips together once more. “Maybe another night. Where can I put my bag?” he whispered.  
  
   Sicheng moved out of Yuta’s arms, and just shrugged, pointing to Kun’s bed. Once the light brown haired boy had taken his bag and windbreaker off, Sicheng retrieved his laptop from under the bed and loaded it up. The pair sat next to each other on the edge of the bed making small talk whilst waiting for Sicheng’s computer. Eventually, Sicheng logged on and loaded up Netflix. After a brief discussion the pair came to the decision to watch a scary movie, to make up for not doing anything together on Halloween. Sicheng put the laptop on the edge of the dresser, allowing for the pair to lie down on the bed and watch it from there. Yuta lay down first, seeing as he was bigger, and Sicheng slipped down next to him into Yuta’s open arm. The bed was smaller than Yuta’s, but they could both fit on just fine. If anything, it was cosier, cause they were closer together.  
  
   The movie had been playing for about 10 minutes until they were distracted by each other.  
  
   “So how did your exam go?” Sicheng whispered, tracing circles with his finger on Yuta’s chest.  
  
   “It went alright. I’m glad I studied, or else I would definitely of failed.”  
  
   “Who do you have to thank for that?”  
  
   The younger was grinning to himself as Yuta let out a humorous scoff. “Yeah yeah, I have a boyfriend who cares about my education, so what,” he smirked. “How did your call back audition go? Wasn’t that today?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “It went well! I just did another dance and they liked it, I guess. They’re revealing who got which role next week, so it’s just a waiting game, now,” he whispered.  
  
   “You’ll of got the best role, I bet.”  
  
   “You’ve never seen me dance,” Sicheng giggled.  
  
   “Nah, I just _know_ you’re good at it,” Yuta smiled, rubbing Sicheng’s upper arm. They’d missed a major plot point in the movie by now, so they had fully lost interest. “You’re very elegant, very graceful. It just seems like you’d be really good at dancing.”  
  
   Sicheng smiled. “I’ll have to show you one day.”  
  
   “Well – I’ll just watch the recital,” Yuta wondered. “I missed the last two so I really should watch one at some point.”  
  
   “Ah, that adds even more pressure~”  
  
   “It does?”  
  
   “Yeah,” Sicheng whispered. “I’ll have to work especially hard to impress you.”  
  
   “Sichengie, you could break your arm on stage and I’d still be impressed.”  
  
   The younger let out a laugh, playfully slapping Yuta’s chest. It was a comfortable silence that followed, Yuta’s beating heart audible from Sicheng’s position in their cuddle. Everything was perfect – Sicheng loved being with Yuta. How had he managed to survive for 11 days without seeing him? Sicheng wriggled slightly, getting more comfortable in Yuta’s arms. The younger was only wearing a pair of shorts that he liked to lounge around in, and a white sweatshirt with a black block of colour running across it, so he was grateful for the warmth emanating from Yuta’s body. It was a hypnotizing sensation of Yuta’s rhythmic yet gentle rubbing of Sicheng’s arm. After around 10 more minutes of the movie playing, Yuta broke the silence.  
  
   “I fuckin’ missed you, Sicheng.”  
  
   “I missed you more,” he whispered. Sicheng’s hand had found itself on the other side of Yuta’s body, kind of like a human seatbelt.  
  
   “Nuh uh.”  
  
   “I did, honestly. Like… I was thinking about us,” Sicheng gently said. He tentatively bit his lip. What he said next – he knew what it would lead to.  
  
   “What were you thinking, baby?”  
  
   Ignoring his blush, Sicheng began to whisper. “About… about what I’m comfortable with. Like, the kissing and stuff…”  
  
   Yuta hummed.  
  
   “And I think – I think I’m ready.”  
  
   There was a slight pause. “Huh?”  
  
   Sicheng leant up, shifting his body so he was looking Yuta directly in the eyes. He moved so he was effectively half lying on Yuta, with one leg in between the older’s, with one hand on Yuta’s chest whilst the other was on his arm. Carefully, Sicheng moved forward, taking Yuta’s top lip into his mouth. Naturally, the older returned the kiss. This kiss was different – it was _charged_. More passionate than the others, it was spelling it out for the older. When Sicheng pulled away, there was a look of surprise on Yuta’s face, as though he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.  
  
   “I-If it’s okay with you,” Sicheng said whilst looking down, averting his eyes from Yuta’s gaze. The older gently rubbed Sicheng’s arms once more, as though he was begging for him to continue. “I want to go… _all_ the way.”  
  
   Yuta carefully sat up, Sicheng entirely resting on him. The younger then shifted onto Yuta’s lap, yet was still facing him. Both of Sicheng’s legs were on either side of Yuta’s body by this point, with the older linking his hands together on the 19 year old’s back. The next kiss that followed was more raw, Sicheng wrapping his arms around Yuta’s neck to steady himself. Once they pulled away, Yuta began to speak.  
  
   “So – you’re saying that you want to have sex?”  
  
   When put like _that_ , Sicheng felt as though he sounded desperate. But… nonetheless, it was true. He gave a gentle nod, turning his eyes down to Yuta’s chest as an excuse not to look him in the eyes. Yuta slotted their lips together once more, the kiss being much softer than previously.  
  
   “I want to go at your pace in this relationship,” Yuta whispered as he held his boyfriend on his lap. “I just want to see you happy and comfortable. Are you sure… this is what you want to do?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “I’m nervous but… I _want_ you,” he moved his head forward so their lips were barely touching. “I trust you. Just – take _control_ ,” he whispered, Sicheng moving forward and connecting their mouths. The kiss was light at first, but it began to deepen, with Yuta’s tongue flicking across Sicheng’s bottom lip. He opened his mouth, feeling Yuta’s tongue against his own. Sicheng moaned ever so slightly as the pair continued to kiss, Yuta’s hands rubbing against his back. Except this time, the younger wasn’t so afraid of the older’s touch. The 19 year old was loving the kissing, but he wanted more, _desperately_. Yuta was the first to pull away from the somewhat messy kiss, Sicheng’s saliva coating the older’s lips.  
  
   “I’ll make you feel good,” Yuta said, voice dripping with seduction. Sicheng couldn’t help himself – he practically leaped forward back to Yuta’s lips, hungry for the older’s touch. Yuta was smiling into the kiss, spreading his legs ever so slightly so Sicheng was in a more comfortable position on his lap. Sicheng’s hands moved from their place around Yuta’s neck and instead down onto his chest. They tentatively moved around Yuta’s upper body.  
  
   The next time Yuta took his tongue out of Sicheng’s mouth, no words were said: the pair just looked at each other, their heavy stares saying all that was needed. Yuta’s hands moved from Sicheng’s back and onto the hem of his own shirt. The older pulled his shift off, carelessly throwing it onto the floor. Sicheng’s hands awkwardly hovered, as though he wasn’t allowed to touch Yuta’s exposed body.  
  
   Before Yuta could move forward and kiss Sicheng again, the younger began to speak. “I… I can, like – touch you, right?”  
  
   Yuta let out a soft chuckle. He took Sicheng’s hands into his own, and placed them onto either side of his bare body. Blushing slightly, Sicheng’s hands began to _properly_ feel Yuta’s body, the older smiling. It was a foreign feeling, yet the younger was loving it. His hands moved down to Yuta’s waist, and then slid across to his abs, before gliding back up to Yuta’s pecs. The older didn’t seem to mind – if anything, he was enjoying it. Sicheng was already out of breath, overwhelmed with Yuta’s body. It wasn’t even his first time seeing it, but… it was the first time he got to feel it like _this_. Every bump, every ridge, it was Sicheng’s for the taking. Yuta was all his.  
  
   “Can I take your top off?” Yuta whispered, Sicheng’s eyes moving from the older’s body and back to his eyes. He gently nodded, raising his arms as Yuta pulled Sicheng’s shirt off of his body.  
  
   The younger’s body wasn’t as muscular as his boyfriend’s. Why would it be? Sicheng had the perfect body for a dancer. He was lithe and toned, with a smooth and healthy body. Yuta’s was perfect for his hobbies – sports. Gently, Yuta ran his hands down the side of Sicheng’s body. It felt electric, a sweet rush running through Sicheng’s body. Being touched wasn’t always enjoyable to the younger, yet he wanted Yuta to keep his hands on him all the time. Sicheng edged forward in Yuta’s lap, so their bodies were pressing together. Yuta was quick in locking their lips together, the pairs hands both running across each other’s bodies freely. At one point, Yuta’s arms wrapped themselves around Sicheng’s waist and tightened, causing the younger to gasp seductively into the older’s mouth.  
  
   Yuta’s hands then moved down Sicheng, stopping at the end of his back. He broke apart from the kiss, his breathing heavier than usual. “Tell me if – if this is uncomfortable, yeah?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. Suddenly, Yuta slipped his hands into the back of Sicheng’s shorts, above his clothed butt. The younger couldn’t help but giggle at the sudden feeling, especially when Yuta gripped ever so slightly. Taking this as a sign of uncomfort, Yuta retrieved his hands from Sicheng’s shorts.  
  
   “Why’d you stop?” he whispered, still giggling slightly. “It was nice,” he nodded. With that in mind, Yuta slipped his hands back into Sicheng’s shorts. He enjoyed how Yuta was leading everything – Sicheng was utterly clueless when it came to foreplay. The older was kissing Sicheng once more as he cupped his butt cheeks, the younger smiling each time Yuta’s tongue slid against his own.  
  
   “ _Fuck_ ,” Yuta gasped, as he broke apart. When the 21 year old looked into Sicheng’s eyes, the younger bit his lip slightly. “You’re so fucking beautiful. You know that, right?”  
  
   Yuta took his hands out of Sicheng’s shorts, moving them back to his waist. Sicheng was blushing, looking down at Yuta’s chiselled stomach instead.  
  
   “You’re the most gorgeous boy I’ve ever met,” Yuta whispered, kissing Sicheng’s cheek. “You feel good, right?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded instantly. “I love touching you. That sounds… weird,” he laughed slightly.  
  
   “Nothing you say or do is weird,” Yuta affirmed, tightening his hold around Sicheng’s body. “You’re literally – _perfect_. And you don’t just look perfect, but you’re so sweet, so considerate…” Yuta’s eyes trailed from Sicheng’s eyes, to his lips, to his chest. They moved back to Sicheng’s eyes.  
  
   “I don’t deserve you,” Sicheng whispered. He cupped Yuta’s chin and planted a softer kiss. “You’re so kind and accepting. I never thought I’d meet someone like you.”  
  
   Yuta laughed slightly. Was that a blush? “Likewise,” he said, rather throatily.  
  
   After another minute of kissing and explorative feeling of the other’s bodies, Sicheng began to grind on Yuta’s lap, practically begging for any kind of friction. He didn’t want to across as needy to his hyung, but that’s exactly how he felt. Yuta must have been able to tell either way, because he lifted Sicheng off of him, and laid down. They were now on their sides, kissing each other, Sicheng’s hands running themselves through Yuta’s hair.  
  
   “I’m gonna… take my trackpants off now, okay?” Yuta whispered. “If you don’t wanna continue, then, just say,”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. Yuta’s hands moved themselves away from Sicheng’s body and to his pants, slipping them off. Yuta moved his knees up and then threw the trackpants off the bed, a pile of clothing beginning to form. Sicheng’s eyes carefully moved down. The older was wearing a pair of tight navy blue boxers, his erection forming a prominent tent under the fabric. Suddenly, Sicheng felt overwhelmed. He knew it was all leading up to this, but when he saw Yuta’s _large_ bulge, it all became real.  
  
   “Hyung, I’m – I’m nervous,” he whispered, keeping his eyes locked on Yuta’s eyes.  
  
   Yuta softly smiled, taking Sicheng into a hug. “I’m not going to hurt you, baby. Do you want to stop? We can get dressed and finish the movie – or whatever you want,” he kissed Sicheng’s cheek, rubbing his back comfortingly.  
  
   Whilst he was in Yuta’s arms, everything calmed down. It was okay… he could do it. The frightening thoughts had appeared once more, but they were subsided by Yuta’s presence. That’s all Sicheng really needed to calm himself down. It was _Yuta_. His boyfriend. He’d never hurt him.  
  
   “It’s… it’s okay,” Sicheng whispered. “It just got full on all of a sudden,” he nervously giggled.  
  
   “Don’t worry,” Yuta soothed, hugging Sicheng tighter. “You set the pace. Say the word, and we can stop.”  
  
   “No – I’m… I’m excited,” Sicheng smiled. “I want to do this. With _you_.”  
  
   The younger took himself out of the hug, and slipped his own shorts off. Yuta must have been surprised at Sicheng’s sudden movement, as his eyes glanced down to look at the younger’s bulge. The blonde boy was wearing a pair of tight black boxers, his erection also pretty obvious. Now, the boyfriends were practically naked, in each other’s embrace on Sicheng’s bed.  
  
   Yuta then shifted his body so Sicheng could get further onto the bed. The older then moved one leg over Sicheng’s body, so he was hovering above him. Sicheng’s hands moved to Yuta’s back, the older taking his dongsaeng’s lips into his own once more. As their tongues danced, Yuta’s bulge was rubbing against Sicheng’s, the younger gaining a hunger within his body. If there had been any doubt a minute ago, it was washed away with a wanton need filling Sicheng’s senses. He _had to have_ Yuta – and soon. Sicheng arched his back and moved his hips upward ever so slightly, putting the pairs crotches together. Yuta gasped into the kiss slightly, not expecting such a reaction from the 19 year old.  
  
   “Y-Yuta hyung,” he spoke between a kiss.  
  
   “Yeah?”  
  
   “Can I… c-can I touch it?”  
  
   The older, in his flustered state, nodded perhaps a bit too eagerly. Yuta rolled over so he was now on his back, with Sicheng moving onto him and pressing together. With a chaste kiss, Sicheng moved down Yuta’s body rather tentatively. Eventually he reached Yuta’s hips, making eye contact with his boyfriend’s bulge. As though asking for permission, Sicheng’s fingers gripped the band of Yuta’s underwear. With a slight nod from the older, the blonde boy pulled at the boxers.  
  
   Yuta’s cock sprung out, slapping against his stomach. Sicheng gasped – he didn’t know what he was expecting, really. He’d watched various ‘videos’ throughout his teenage life, but nothing could ever prepare him for what it would be like to have Yuta’s member before him. It was a lot longer than he thought it’d be, as well as being reasonably thick. The older was looking down at Sicheng’s reaction, fully prepared to get dressed if the 19 year old showed any uncomfort. Instead, Sicheng tentatively picked up Yuta’s length in his fingers. They wrapped around his arousal, and began to move up and down. Yuta let out a throaty moan, so Sicheng just assumed he was doing it right. It wasn’t like it was his first time jerking off, except… it was someone else this time. Still unsure on where he could touch, he kept one hand wrapped around Yuta’s cock as he jerked him off, whilst the other one was gently rubbing Yuta’s thigh.  
  
   “Wait,” Sicheng whispered, taking his fist off of Yuta’s dick. The younger stood up off of the bed, Yuta looking quizzically in his direction.  
  
   “You okay?” Yuta panted slightly, watching as Sicheng knelt down to open his bag. From it he took the small bottle of lube he’d bought, and walked back over to his naked boyfriend. Sicheng sat between Yuta’s spread legs, and with a click, poured some lube on the older’s length. He let out a hiss of satisfaction as Sicheng continued his work. The previous feelings were intense, but this – this was a new level. Sicheng enjoyed when things were taken of control for him, but when _he_ was in control, when he was calling the shots and was in charge of how Yuta was feeling: that was a new feeling of satisfaction. Yuta’s moaning, Yuta’s harsh clutches onto the side of the bed – that was _Sicheng_. And he loved it.  
  
   “Baby, _fuck_ ,” Yuta moaned, leaning up. He took Sicheng’s hand off of his cock, and gave him a chaste kiss. “What happened to me taking control?” he grinned, kissing with a passionate edge to it. Sicheng was softly laughing, his hand still slick with lube. Yuta’s hands moved down Sicheng’s back once more, but this time, they glided beneath the band of Sicheng’s boxer shorts. The older’s hands were cold, eliciting a slight gasp from Sicheng, but he loved the feeling. His own arousal was aching for some friction, yet Yuta seemed happy to provide. After some shuffling, Sicheng (with Yuta’s help) was rid of his underwear, and moved onto Yuta’s lap. One thing Sicheng had noticed was that Yuta seemed to be a lot more hairier than him: whilst Yuta’s stomach had a trail of hairs leading to a somewhat unkempt base (meaning that it was obvious Yuta shaved, yet he hadn’t done it in a while), Sicheng was fresh and hairless. He had some crazy thought that having less hair on his body would make him more aerodynamic, and so he’d be a better dancer. Not that he’d ever admit that to _anyone_ , though.  
  
   Yuta steadied the younger as he sat in the former’s lap. Their lengths were pressing together due to the sitting position they were in, something neither were complaining about.  
  
   “Sichengie, you still want to go all the way, right?” he gently said, looking into Sicheng’s eyes. When the younger earnestly nodded, the older smiled. “Then, we need to… ‘prepare’ you,” he whispered.  
  
   “W-Will it hurt?” Sicheng said, wrapping his arms around Yuta’s neck again. This was his favourite position.  
  
   “I’m not gonna lie and say no,” Yuta sighed. “But we’re gonna make it as easy as possible. Okay?”  
  
   Tentatively, Sicheng nodded. A pool of worry was in his gut, but deep down, he knew he’d be okay. It was Yuta. His experienced hands held onto Sicheng and lay him down on the bed, before arranging the pillows so the younger would be more comfortable. Yuta then leaned over the bed and took the bottle of lube which Sicheng had previously been using. He lathered his fingers in the translucent liquid, before using his body to slide down the youngers. Nervously waiting for what’s to come, Yuta gave him a soft kiss, as he lead his coated fingers to Sicheng’s entrance. His other, non lubed up hand was stroking Sicheng’s cheek in a comforting fashion.  
  
   “You’re gonna feel a slight stretch,” Yuta nodded. “Remember if you wanna stop, just say, okay?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. Yuta’s finger began to press into Sicheng, the younger wincing slightly. It was an unusual feeling – it was _very_ extrusive to say the least. But thankfully it was Yuta who was doing it. Sicheng would never let anybody else put their fucking finger inside of him. Yuta’s finger was eventually up to his knuckle, leaving his digit in there for a minute or so. Sicheng writhed under him, hoping to get used to the feeling. The 21 year old then began to push his finger in and out, ever so gently, just to allow Sicheng to become accustomed to it. After a few minutes, he began to enjoy it.  
  
   “Ready for the next one?” the light brown haired boy whispered, kissing Sicheng’s cheek. “You’re doing great, by the way~”  
  
   “There’s more?” Sicheng gasped.  
  
   Yuta nodded. “I’m sorry, baby. You wanna stop?”  
  
   “N-No, I like it, actually,” he whispered.  
  
   “That’s always nice to hear, I guess,” Yuta smiled, kissing Sicheng again. The younger loved how the situation was so intimate, what with Yuta’s finger _inside_ him, yet his hyung could retain his witty attitude.  
  
   Sicheng let out a groan as Yuta’s second finger entered. It was so much more uncomfortable than the first one, Sicheng panting as his insides got used to it. Yuta began to whisper words of encouragement into his ear, kissing his cheek, anything everything that could possibly distract him from the awful feeling in his rear. After a few minutes, the pain began to subside, Sicheng nodding to Yuta that he could continue. Despite the tears that had sprang to Sicheng’s eyes, which were wiped away by Yuta’s free hand, he was savouring the feeling of Yuta on top of him. Suddenly, Yuta began to move his 2 fingers within Sicheng’s entrance in a scissor motion, stretching him out. Maybe Yuta’s hands were just really big, but it felt like such a foreign sensation within him. After moments of Yuta doing this motion with his fingers, Sicheng found himself writhing his hips on him, desperate for it.  
  
   “Last one,” Yuta kissed Sicheng’s cheek once more. “You’re taking it like a champ.”  
  
   “Thank y- _Agh!_ ” Sicheng gasped, as the third finger slipped in. The younger didn’t mean to, but his nails dug into Yuta’s back as his body reacted to the intrusion. If Yuta was in pain, he was doing a great job at ignoring it, focussing on Sicheng’s wellbeing instead. Sicheng retracted his nails, apologizing under his breath, rubbing Yuta’s back comfortingly. It took a shorter time than it did with the 2nd digit for Sicheng to get used to it.  
  
   “Is that it? With the fingers?” the blonde boy said, out of breath, to his boyfriend. Yuta nodded.  
  
   “Sure is. You did _amazingly,_ baby – I’m so fucking proud of you,” Yuta breathed, kissing Sicheng’s cheeks, his forehead, and then his lips. Sicheng smiled into the kisses – he loved being fussed. When he was taking up all of Yuta’s attention, he felt special and important. Yuta knelt up, so he was looking down Sicheng’s slim body, before jumping up off of the bed. He walked over to his backpack, careful with his slick hand whilst opening the zip. After a few moments of Yuta searching through his bag, he let out a frustrated groan.  
  
   “What are you looking for?” Sicheng purred.  
  
   Yuta turned. “A condom,” he cleared his throat. Upon hearing that, Sicheng jumped up and walked to his own bag. Thank _fuck_ he’d bought some himself. His hand delved in and came out with a small box of condoms, Sicheng presenting them to the older proudly.  
  
   “I, uh – I didn’t know your _size_ , so I just kinda guessed…” he whispered, giving Yuta the box. The older took Sicheng into a quick hug, their lengths brushing together, before opening the box. He hastily took out a shiny gold packet, taking it into his hand. Yuta then wrapped Sicheng into his arms and playfully threw him onto the bed, Sicheng letting out a small amused yelp. Yuta was quick in hoisting himself above the younger, sliding his tongue into Sicheng’s mouth. They kissed for a minute or so, before Yuta knelt up once more. He ripped open the packet rather expertly, discarding of the packaging as he threw it on the floor. Carefully, he took the ring of latex and wrapped it around his arousal.  
  
   “Does it fit?” Sicheng wondered.  
  
   “It’s perfect,” Yuta grinned back. He then hastily took the bottle of lube and poured it onto his member, giving it a few pumps with his hand to ensure the entire length was lubed up. Yuta then got into position at Sicheng’s entrance, pausing. “Are you ready? It might… might hurt a bit,” he whispered.  
  
   With a gulp, Sicheng nodded. His hand reaching for Yuta’s, the older intertwining their fingers as he pressed forward.  
  
   _Fuck_.  
  
   Sicheng let out a series of gasps as Yuta slowly pushed his cock inside. The stretch was painful, yet he was glad that they’d prepared using 3 fingers before hand. Sicheng threw his head back, eyes clamped shut as Yuta penetrated him. Initially, it felt like Sicheng was being stabbed, his fight or flight instinct telling him to get the fuck out of there. But once Yuta was fully in, his base coming into contact with Sicheng’s lithe body, the younger began to calm down. Tears had once more sprung into his eyes, which were quickly wiped away. Sicheng felt weak as his body stretched. It felt like it would never end, like he was just too tight for Yuta. An eternity and then some seemed to pass for the younger until his body stopped screaming bloody murder. Yuta was looking carefully down at Sicheng’s reaction, waiting for the word ‘stop’.  
  
   But Sicheng never said such a thing.  
  
   His body became adjusted to Yuta’s arousal being thrust within him. Sicheng’s breathing refrained from its quickened state, and he could finally form words. Yuta, looking somewhat guilty, was wincing as he looked down.  
  
   “Baby, you okay?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded, a smile blooming across his face. “Y-Yeah… It… it feels nice, now.”  
  
   With a slight nod, Yuta slowly began to thrust at a comfortable pace. The younger wrapped his legs around Yuta’s waist, the latter’s eyes widening at the sudden gesture.  
  
   “ _Christ_ , you’re flexible,” he whispered.  
  
   Sicheng just giggled as Yuta began to quicken his pace. It was so intense, the air thick with pure arousal. The younger moved up for a kiss, Yuta timing his kisses with each expert thrust of his hips. After a few minutes of build up, Yuta was beginning to thrust at a quickened pace, the mattress squeaking beneath them rather noisily. Sicheng was moaning by this point, overridden with the pleasurable feeling of ecstasy rushing though his veins.  
  
   “ _Yuta_ –“ Sicheng moaned, eyes shutting. His body was being wrecked by his hyung, who was peppering kisses around the former’s face, neck, collar bones. “Yuta – _agh_ ,” the younger writhed in pleasure.  
  
   “Oh _fuck_ ,” Yuta groaned, shoving his head into the crook of Sicheng’s neck. “ _Fuck, fuck,_ ” he kept repeating, in some sort of mantra to himself. The younger didn’t think it could get any better.  
  
   He was wrong.  
  
   Suddenly, Yuta’s member brushed against a hidden spot with Sicheng’s body. With a sharp intake of breath, Sicheng arched his back and curled his toes in pleasure, using his hands to grip at the sides of the bed. Yuta let out a slight breathless chuckle as he began to roll his hips at a slower pace all of a sudden, letting Sicheng come down from the sudden high that hitting his prostate induced.  
  
   “D-Do that again, please,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   Yuta then quickened his pace once more, hitting Sicheng’s prostate after a few more rolls of his hips. The younger couldn’t hold in his cry of delight. Thinking about it, this was possibly the loudest in which Yuta had ever heard Sicheng. Yuta moved his free hand, the one that wasn’t intertwined with Sicheng’s, onto the younger’s thigh, gripping ever so slightly. As the 21 year old kept hitting the younger’s prostate over and over again, Sicheng was on the verge of tears due to the intensity of the pleasure he was feeling.  
  
   “ _Sicheng_ ,” Yuta gasped. “I’m… It’s not long until…” he struggled to say. Sicheng began to wriggle his hips, in an effort to embed within his memory of what Yuta felt like inside of him. This set Yuta off, who let out a sharp gasp. The older shook slightly as his seed pumped out of his cock and into the condom, Sicheng’s eyes glazed over due to the electric feeling flooding him. Yuta began to slow down, coming fully undone as he was allowing the orgasm to run through his body. Sicheng was breathing heavily, still incredibly needy, his own arousal in need of attention. Once Yuta had brought his thrusting to its slowest pace, he made sure Sicheng knew he was still the centre of his world.  
  
   The light brown haired boy slipped his hands underneath Sicheng’s back, and pulled him up so he was now sitting on Yuta’s lap. Still with Yuta’s member inside of him, the former began to jerk Sicheng off. The pair were both gasping, Sicheng throwing his arms around his boyfriend and hiding his head into his neck as he allowed him to take control. Yuta’s hand was rough against Sicheng’s length, but it was worth remembering – he _loved_ it. The older’s other hand was wrapped around Sicheng’s waist, gently rubbing circles. It wasn’t long before Sicheng was cumming into Yuta’s hand, the white liquid shooting out between both of their bodies. Yuta’s strokes didn’t subside immediately, allowing Sicheng the most comfortable experience possible as he rode out his orgasm.  
  
   Sicheng, who was incredibly short of breath, moved out of Yuta’s neck, so they were making eye contact. The younger began to giggle slightly, connecting their lips and tongues alike. It was hot inside the room, and it smelt _awful_ now, but that didn’t matter – the pair were enjoying each other’s company. Yuta’s softening length was still inside of his boyfriend, and so he carefully lifted him off. The older gave Sicheng’s body one last squeeze before hopping off the bed and taking his condom off, tying it into a knot and chucking it into the bin.  
  
   “You okay, baby?” Yuta showed off his winning smile. Sicheng gave a weak nod, clearly spent after such an intense scenario. Moving forward, Yuta took Sicheng’s hands into his own and lead him into the ensuite. Still naked, Yuta leant forward into the shower and turned the knob, so jets of hot water began to fly out. It was a bonding moment, soft giggles and sweet kisses being exchanged as the pair doused themselves in the warm water, Yuta taking the lead role in cleaning his partner off.  
  
   As Yuta was on his knees, cleaning Sicheng’s thighs and lower body, the younger gently spoke over the noise of the water hitting the floor.  
  
   “That was really… really cool~”  
  
   “Cool?” Yuta grinned, getting to his feet and discarding of the flannel. “Just cool?” he whispered, taking a naked Sicheng into his arms and making eye contact with the younger’s hazel eyes.  
  
   “It was amazing – _you’re_ amazing,” Sicheng smiled. He was comfortable in Yuta’s arms, gently touching his boyfriend’s cheek with his finger.  
  
   “You did so well,” the older chuckled. “And good job you had a condom. Did you – did you buy it for tonight?”  
  
   The younger averted his gaze, pursing his lips and turning off the shower. He crept out of Yuta’s arms and went and got a towel. Yuta was laughing behind him, taking the towel from Sicheng’s hands and drying the 19 year old off himself.  
  
   “M-Maybe I did,” Sicheng cleared his throat. “But thank gosh, huh~”  
  
   “I never thought we’d have sex, to be honest,” Yuta wondered, shoving the towel onto his own head and drying his light brown hair. “So I didn’t think I’d have to worry about bringing a condom or lube or anything like that.”  
  
   “You didn’t think we’d ever have sex?”  
  
   “It’s not that I didn’t _want_ to have sex,” Yuta corrected himself. “You just seem… really innocent, yknow. I just wanna cuddle you all the time and protect you,” he smiled, taking Sicheng into a hug. The younger let out an ‘aww’, before planting a kiss on Yuta’s cheek. As they walked back into the dorm room after brushing their teeth, Sicheng opened his dresser to find his pyjamas.  
  
   “Well I proved you wrong then,” Sicheng winked, putting on a pair of grey pyjamas shorts.  
  
   “You did. And not only that – but you’re _good_ at it as well,” Yuta laughed, opening his bag and taking out a pair of fresh underwear.  
  
   “Stop~ It was my first time, I can’t have been that good,” he giggled.  
  
   “Honest. It was different with you,” the 21 year old sighed. He now had a pair of tight white boxer shorts protecting his modesty. “I think it’s because… I actually like you,” he kissed the side of Sicheng’s head. Once he’d slipped a loose fitting black t-shirt on, Sicheng wrapped his arms around Yuta’s neck and gave him a proper kiss. He couldn’t keep his hands off of his hyung, but it wasn’t like Yuta was complaining.  
  
   Sicheng turned his head, and looked at his laptop, which still had the scary movie playing. With a slight chuckle, he clicked the power button, and closed the lid.  
  
   “That was a _great_ film,” Sicheng laughed, moving over to his bed. He began to tidy it up whilst Yuta leaned on the dresser.  
  
   “I enjoyed what we did instead~”  
  
   “True… it was pretty fun, I’ll give you that,” the 19 year old grinned. Once the bed was made, Sicheng threw the covers up and slid in. Yuta wasn’t far behind, taking Sicheng into his arms as soon as possible. The older seemed to be _clingier_ than usual, but it made the blonde boy know that he was cared for. As he settled himself in Yuta’s arms, the pair faced each other, basking in the candle light – which reminded Sicheng that he had to blow them out sooner or later.  
  
   “So, are we like… proper boyfriends now?” Sicheng wondered, tracing circles on Yuta’s chest.  
  
   “What do you mean?”  
  
   “Well… now that we’ve had sex, we’re like all the other couples, like Kun and Ten, and Lucas and Jungwoo,”  
  
   Yuta looked quizzically at his boyfriend. “Baby, we don’t need to have sex to be real boyfriends. We’re going at our own speed, not like everyone else,” he whispered. “If you didn’t want to have sex until… two years into our relationship, we’d still be boyfriends just as much as anyone else. You – you didn’t want to have sex just so we’d be _normal_ , right?”  
  
   “No! No, I really wanted to do it with you because… well, it’s _you_.”  
  
   The older smiled, kissing Sicheng’s forehead. “I don’t wanna be like Kun and Ten. They’re very… confused, with each other,” he whispered. “And Xuxi and ‘Jungwoo’ are purely _physical_ , if you know what I mean,” Yuta said. “I don’t wanna be like them, I wanna be us – _Sicheng and Yuta_.”  
  
   Sicheng gave off a genuine smile, nodding. “You’re such a good boyfriend.”  
  
   “I try.”  
  
   The younger yawned, adjusting his head so he wasn’t breathing towards Yuta. They’d brushed their teeth together, so their breath was fresh and minty, but it was still impolite to yawn directly into someone else’s face.  
  
   “Tired?” Yuta wondered, gently rubbing Sicheng’s hip. Once the younger nodded, Yuta kissed his forehead and got out of bed. Sicheng watched as Yuta looked for all the candles in the room, blowing them out one by one. Eventually, after Yuta turned the dimmed lamp off as well, the room was plunged into darkness. Sicheng had since turned around so he was facing the wall, with Yuta spooning him. Now that an invisible barrier had seemingly been broken between the pair, they were a lot more comfortable with touches and feelings. Yuta’s bulge was pressing into Sicheng’s thigh – so what? They’d had sex. Sicheng thought it was weird when he thought of it like that, but it was also comforting.  
  
   They intertwined their legs, Sicheng rubbing Yuta’s forearms which were around his chest. Unlike last time, Sicheng was the first one to fall asleep, comfortable that he was in the presence of both his own bed and his own boyfriend.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... ahem  
>  well!
> 
> it's all changed now, huh ... glad to see i kept to my promise of eventual smut  
> this is actually the first 18+ scene ive ever published so i hope it's okay
> 
> if you wanna chat my twitter is @orbityuta and my curious cat is george_uwu
> 
> have a great day!!  
> thank you for reading!!


	12. the feeling of Fatigue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten, Sicheng and Jungwoo are hard at work learning their dances for the Recital in a few weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi !! im alive
> 
> sorry for such a long wait ... i have a lot of stress from school atm mixed in with a general loss of motivation to write :( but the chapter is here !! yayy
> 
> to cut a long story short i'll still be working on this, just with slower updates ~

   Ten, Jungwoo and Sicheng’s trainers did one final squeak on the floor of the studio, followed by the sound of light panting as the music they’d been dancing to came to an end. They’d spent the last couple of hours all practising together for their group’s dance in the Christmas Recital.  
  
   It was now the Wednesday after the Saturday in which the roles for the production were handed out. Whilst the actors and singers all had specific roles, the dancers were assigned to different ‘dance troupes’, each having their own musical numbers to accompany the scenes. Sicheng found himself assigned to Dance Troupe D – the group with the highest amount of numbers to perform. Luckily, the Recital wasn’t for a few weeks, and so Sicheng knew he could nail all the choreography in time. The dances weren’t as advanced as he was used to, so it was turning out to be pretty enjoyable. Adding to the enjoyability was the fact that, not only was Ten _also_ in Dance Troupe D, but so was Jungwoo, who Sicheng remembered as the lovely guy that seemed to be attached to Lucas’ mouth that one night. So now not only was dance practise productive, but it was also fun to get to know the other boys.  
  
   For example, now Sicheng knew that Jungwoo was in his first year as well, undergoing a vocal major. Apparently, he’d tried for the dance program, yet didn’t quite make the cut, so he had to fall back onto his other talent. From what Sicheng had observed during the afternoon, though, he was a _very_ talented dancer, regardless of if he made the final 20 in the dance program or not.  
  
   “ _Well_ ,” Ten panted, looking at himself in the mirror. All the boys were wearing athletic wear, such as sports shorts and trackpants. Sicheng was wearing a pair of black shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt with some sort of geometric design on the front. “I think we’ve pretty much learnt the first two dances, then.”  
  
   Jungwoo nodded, less out of breath. He ran a hand through his brown hair, which was sticking to his forehead with sweat. The trio had been dancing since 3pm, and it was nearly seven by now. “Definitely. How many more dances do we need to learn?”  
  
   “Well, we learnt the opening act, and then scene three, so we just need to learn scenes five, six, nine and then the closing act,” the 2nd year said.  
  
   Sicheng gently cleared his throat. “It shouldn’t take too long. We managed to learn the first two scenes in like, a few days,” he smirked.  
  
   Ten chimed in. “Very true.”  
  
   The blonde boy walked away from their dance positions in front of the mirror, and over to the back of the studio. Apart from some 3rd year girls by the other mirrors, the trio had been practising alone. For the dance recital, Taemin allowed the entire cast to practise in the studios, which were usually exclusively available to the few dance program students. So whilst the studio was all but a common area to visit for Ten and Sicheng, Jungwoo find himself in awe as he walked through the chic halls of the dance building. Sicheng knelt down to pick up his coat and backpack, turning his gaze to outside of the window as he stood up again. It was practically pitch black outside, despite it only being 7pm. He had half an hour to walk across campus over to the football pitch, to watch a game Yuta was taking part in.  
  
   Slipping his bag on over his light blue puffer coat, Sicheng walked back over to Jungwoo and Ten. They had since gotten ready to leave, the 3 boys walking out of the studio and down the corridor.  
  
   Ten broke the silence between the boys. “ _Ugh_ , I’ve gotta go to work in an hour,” he sighed.  
  
   “Whereabouts do you work?” Jungwoo wondered.  
  
   “Just this coffee shop, near the university library.”  
  
   “They stay open this late?” Sicheng furrowed his brows in confusion.  
  
   “Sicheng, you literally ran in at half ten at night, once.”  
  
   “Ran in?” Jungwoo smirked, laughing slightly. “Why’d you run?”  
  
   The blonde 19 year old giggled. “To cut a long story short, it was raining _pretty_ bad. Kun and I were trying to get back to our dorm, but we got caught in this storm.”  
  
   “ _Christ_ , that was so awkward,” Ten grimaced.  
  
   Walking out of the double doors of the dance building, the 3 boys walked down the marble steps. They crossed the road after checking both ways, and began making their way through the winding ways of the ornate yet _surprisingly_ large park.  
  
   “Oh _yeah_ ,” Sicheng laughed. “You and Kun were so funny.”  
  
   “What happened?” Jungwoo grinned.  
  
   Ten cleared his throat, ignoring Sicheng’s soft laughter. All of them were walking side by side, Jungwoo having to turn his head between the others with a smirk on his face. “ _So_ ,” Ten started. “There was this freshers party at the start of the year, right. Sicheng was there – that’s where he met Yuta hyung. Anyway, me and Kun kinda…”  
  
   There was a pregnant pause.  
  
   “ _They did it_ ,” Sicheng giggled, blushing beneath the weak light emitted from the occasional ornate lamp on the side of the path.  
  
   Jungwoo let out a slight laugh. “And that’s why it was awkward? When you two saw each other in the coffee shop?”  
  
   “It wasn’t cause we fucked,” the oldest said, very matter of factly. “It was more so because we didn’t speak to each other _at all_ after it. But I kinda… liked him.”  
  
   “Isn’t this the same Kun you’re with now?” Jungwoo directed towards Ten.  
  
   “We’re not _together_ , per se. We’re not like Yuta and Sicheng,” Ten laughed slightly, Sicheng just giving a smile as he listened in on their conversation. “We just get together every now and then.”  
  
   Jungwoo raised his brow. “ _Get together_?”  
  
   “Like you and Xuxi.”  
  
   “Oh. Gotcha,” the brown haired boy nodded. “ _That_ kind of get together. Speaking of Xuxi, I’m meant to be going to his… _American football_ game now,” Jungwoo’s voice dripping with distaste as they lingered over the name of the sport.  
  
   Sicheng turned his head, looking at his dongsaeng. “Oh, I’m going as well!”  
  
   “No kidding!” Jungwoo nodded. “Yuta’s on the same team as Xuxi, isn’t he?”  
  
   Nodding his head, Sicheng smiled. Ever since Kun said he wasn’t going to go to another football game, Sicheng had been dreading tonight – he didn’t want to be alone, especially at a sports event. Not only did he never know what was happening, but he appreciated the company of someone to talk to. Now that Sicheng knew Jungwoo was going as well, it wasn’t so scary. On the other hand, it was perhaps scarier, seeing as the blonde boy wasn’t _nearly_ as comfortable around Jungwoo as he was around Kun  
  
   “We can go this way,” Jungwoo pointed towards a path that turned right, heading towards a main road. “It’s a short cut.”  
  
   “Ah, well you two have fun, I guess,” Ten laughed. “I fucking _hate_ sports.”  
  
   Sicheng and Jungwoo nodded, saying ‘ _Me too_ ’ at the same time, eliciting a series of laughs. Once goodbyes were exchanged, Ten took the left turn whilst Sicheng and Jungwoo took the right.  
  
   The 19 year old remembered the last time he’d seen Jungwoo – straddling Lucas in the middle of the fraternity’s lounge, head hung in shame under Yuta’s stern gaze. All Sicheng thought of him then was some boy toy that Lucas had brought home to… _do_. But that wasn’t the main thing he remembered about his brown haired dongsaeng. What Sicheng felt the most, when watching Jungwoo and Lucas making out in front of him, was a feeling of inadequacy. Like he wouldn’t ever he able to give Yuta what Jungwoo was giving Lucas. But now that Sicheng had since had his first kiss, even lost his virginity to his _boyfriend_ , he saw Jungwoo as… an ‘accomplishment’. The blonde boy once thought he’d never be able to achieve what Jungwoo could do, but now that he had, Sicheng just felt proud – like he belonged to walk next to him. It was a difficult feeling to explain, but Sicheng felt worthy of being in his company. They were both experienced, young adults, who have had _sex_ (still such a weird thing to think about for Sicheng). No longer did Sicheng feel inadequate, like he didn’t fit in when he was in Jungwoo’s presence.  
  
   “So, you and Yuta,” Jungwoo giggled, his breath visible in the cold air. “That’s a match I never thought I’d see.”  
  
   “How come?” Sicheng wondered.  
  
   “Because you’re so nice, and down to Earth,” the younger wondered. “Whilst Yuta seems so… _terrifying_ ,” he laughed.  
  
   It made sense to the 19 year old – Yuta was pretty intimidating. Plus, the last time which Yuta had seen Jungwoo, was when the older was pretty pissed off. First impressions last, after all, and Yuta’s visible irritation clearly had a lasting impact on Jungwoo.  
  
   “I thought he was scary at first too,” the blonde boy giggled. “But he’s actually really sweet.”  
  
   “He is?”  
  
   “Definitely~” Sicheng smiled. He felt like _bragging_. Yuta was his boyfriend, after all. “He’s so gentle, and really cuddly, despite… yknow, being a frat boy,” the older giggled. “For a date, he drove us up onto this big hill, and we had a picnic, but he got all of these fairy lights and stuff. It was so romantic,”  
  
   “Gosh – I’d never of expected Yuta to be like that.”  
  
   The older giggled slightly. He was _very_ lucky.  
  
   “Xuxi’s never done anything like that for me,” Jungwoo whispered. “The most he’s done is put, like, three candles around the bedroom and call himself a romantic.”  
  
   Sicheng pursed his lips. Suddenly, a surge of guilt filled his body. It was unfair to brag about Yuta, especially when not everyone had such amazing boyfriends like him. _Fuck_ – Lucas and Jungwoo weren’t even boyfriends, they were just ‘friends with benefits’. But, if Jungwoo was happy with that, then why did his tone suggest he wasn’t satisfied with where he currently was?  
  
   “At least he tried. That must count for something?” Sicheng struggled.  
  
   Jungwoo just shrugged it off. “It’s whatever. We both know what our relationship is like, I guess. It’s just my fault for wanting… _yknow_. Something more. Something like you and Yuta, I guess.”  
  
   “Well, what’s stopping you from moving you and Lucas’ relationship onto that level?” The older wondered.  
  
   “He just wants _sex_ , Sicheng. Xuxi isn’t interested in anything long term with anyone. He’s not looking to settle down. But – _agh_ , it’s boring to talk about, sorry.”  
  
   “Don’t apologize,” Sicheng quickly said. “It’s good to talk about your feelings,” he smiled.  
  
   Jungwoo let out a loud laugh, disrupting the quiet atmosphere of the side street they were walking down. It wouldn’t be long until they were at the football pitch. The brown haired boy’s laughter was subsiding with each step.  
  
   “I never thought I’d hear Lee Taeyong’s son say it’s good to talk about your feelings,” the younger giggled. “But… but yeah. I just think I’m an idiot for developing feelings for a guy that doesn’t want anything more than sex.”  
  
   “You’re not an idiot,” Sicheng said. “You can’t help who you have feelings for.”  
  
   “True, I guess. I just wish he felt the same way back. I’m such an idiot…”  
  
   Sicheng shook his head. He was completely out of his depth in this conversation, having no idea what the fuck he was talking about. The 19 year old wasn’t a relationship counsellor, after all. He’d had _one_ relationship, and that was with Yuta. Their relationship was around 3-4 weeks old, at this point – he wasn’t exactly experienced. Hell, he’d only lost his virginity a few days ago. Regardless, he wanted to be able to make Jungwoo feel better. It must be hard to have feelings for someone who seemed to be emotionally unavailable.  
  
   “At least you get to have sex with him,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   Jungwoo let out a soft laugh. “That’s true. The sex is pretty good.”  
  
   The older cringed slightly, yet his expression was concealed in the dark night. As they turned onto the main road that was next to the large field, the football pitch further within it down a path, Sicheng’s mind began to wander. Sex, to him at least, was something very special, very intimate, something that should only be shared with someone who you trust. It was interesting to mingle with all these different ideas: clearly, both Ten _and_ Jungwoo didn’t share this mentality fully. Not to the extent which Sicheng did, at least. To them, it seemed to be something more of a pastime, a ‘hobby’. Ten and Kun had sex within hours of meeting each other, and for Jungwoo, he seemed to be so open and free when talking about it. It might just be the inner immaturity that lingered within Sicheng’s body, but he still didn’t feel comfortable talking about sex, even though he was no longer a virgin.  
  
   The rest of the walk to the game was in a comfortable silence. After an afternoon of intense dance practise, both boys were more than welcome to spare the conversation as they walked across the field. The only lighting was the glow from ornate lamps, and the flood lights that were visible ahead. It was cold to such an extent, that Sicheng’s teeth were chittering together noisily, whilst Jungwoo kept muttering ‘ _it’s so cold_ ’ every now and then as they strolled along the path. The game wasn’t set to start for another 10 minutes, yet the entrance to the pitch seemed to be much more crowded than usual. Perhaps the game was more important or something – neither Sicheng nor Jungwoo cared that much. There wasn’t a price for entry, so both boys walked in for free and walked into the stands. They made their way to the other side of the bleachers, which were much less crowded, and sat a few rows from the back.  
  
   Sicheng and Jungwoo sat incredibly close next to each other, legs pressed together as they tried to conserve heat. It wasn’t awkward or anything like that – unusually, the older was already comfortable in the other’s presence. They weren’t _cuddling_ , they were just both sat with their legs closed and facing inwards, so their knees were touching. Sicheng’s hands were stuffed in the pockets of his light blue puffer coat, whilst Jungwoo was rubbing his together, occasionally blowing into the cusp of them to create some heat.  
  
   The loud horn sounded, causing Sicheng to jump out of his skin in shock. Jungwoo was laughing at him as a presenter began to announce the teams, for the first official game of the American football season. Sounded _important_. Didn’t stop Sicheng from not caring about the sport. However, once the teams began to run out of the wings beneath the bleachers, the cheering began. Jungwoo and Sicheng jumped up to their feet and began hollering, eyes scanning over the players in red for their respective boys. The younger found Lucas first, giving him a soft wave. Sicheng had remembered Yuta’s number, 92, yet he couldn’t find it this time.  
  
   Maybe he wasn’t playing?  
  
   Sicheng’s eyes anxiously flitted around the pitch, looking for his boyfriend. He couldn’t find him amongst the players in red _or_ black. Instead, he watched Lucas, who ran over to a boy with the number 10 on his back. Lucas slapped his hand onto number 10’s back, causing the light brown haired boy to turn around, making eye contact with Sicheng from down on the pitch.  
  
   Yuta’s smile was brighter than ever as he waved.  
  
   _He changed his number_. Typical. Regardless, Sicheng began to jump up and down slightly as he waved to Yuta, who was looking more handsome than ever in his football kit. His tight red jersey showed the crowd his muscles, whilst his white shorts were turning people’s attention to his healthy (and slightly hairy) legs. Yuta took the time to move his arms into a heart shape, blowing kisses to Sicheng, who was rolling his eyes at the sight. Once Lucas playfully pushed him, which caused Yuta’s arms to fall to his side, the pair of boys started laughing to each other. With a final glance to his boyfriend, the 21 year old turned around and, with Lucas by his side, jogged over to the huddle.  
  
   Sicheng sat back down next to Jungwoo, who was back to shivering.  
  
   “You know, it’s more like rugby, the version these guys play.”  
  
   “Huh?” Sicheng whispered, still high off of the energy that Yuta’s public display of affection had given him.  
  
   “American football usually has loads of padding and helmets and stuff. But, they’re just wearing jerseys, shorts and boots. It’s a weird… mix of the sports.”  
  
   “Gosh, you know so much,” Sicheng whispered. “I thought you hated it.”  
  
   “Don’t get me wrong! I fuckin’ hate sports. Just know a bunch about it because of my Dad,” Jungwoo giggled.  
  
   Sicheng nodded and smiled. “I learnt about different types of machine guns from my Dad.”  
  
   Jungwoo paused. “Huh?”  
  
   “I’m kidding.”  
  
   The younger’s look of confusion was washed away, replaced with an eye smile. Jungwoo was laughing and patting Sicheng’s knee, stuffing the other hand in his pocket. Sicheng knew his sense of humour wasn’t… the most ‘refined’, but ever since he’d been spending time with Yuta, he was hoping the older’s wit was rubbing off on him.  
  
   A whistle blow indicated the game had started. Sicheng and Jungwoo just watched in a comfortable silence, eyes watching the boys tackle each other as they ran towards one another down on the pitch. It was fucking freezing, so Sicheng had to commend every single boy that was managing to play in such little clothing. The temperature didn’t seem to be affecting any of them, though, as they were throwing themselves at each other relentlessly. Whenever the ball was passed to Yuta, Sicheng let out a series of cheers to let his boyfriend know that he was supporting him. And, maybe Sicheng was pulling at straws, but whenever he cheered, he could _swear_ that Yuta began to run just that little bit faster. At one point, Yuta was taken out by one of the opposing players, causing the 21 year old to fall onto his side. Sicheng let out a sharp gasp, feeling as though he himself had just been tackled – yet his surprise was diminished once Yuta quickly jumped back up onto his feet. He had to make a mental note of that, to not worry if his hyung was tackled. One thing Sicheng loved was how fast Yuta was. It was incredibly, really. Yuta’s dongsaeng had such an appreciation for his boyfriend’s talents and skills. It made sense to Sicheng as to why Yuta really wanted to see him dance. Every time Sicheng watched Yuta speed across the pitch, or take someone down so easily, he gained a newfound respect for him. Perhaps Yuta would feel that way whenever Sicheng took part in a performance.   
  
   Eventually, half time rolled around, both boys getting up from their seats and walking down to the concession stand. Sicheng _loved_ this part of the football games. Not that he didn’t like watching Yuta – he loved that too. But the junk food… _wow_. Especially the hot dogs. After Sicheng had bought one, with Jungwoo buying a small popcorn, they escalated the bleaches back to their seats, food wrapped between frozen digits. Sicheng was enjoying how warm the hot dog was in his hands, like his own edible heat pack. Meanwhile, Jungwoo was carefully eating popcorn, looking at the empty pitch with an absent-minded gaze clouding his eyes.  
  
   Soon enough, another whistle blew, the boys ran back onto the pitch, and the game began once more. 10 minutes later, Jungwoo asked Sicheng if he was ever going to eat his hotdog – he’d practically forgot about it, using his food as a heat source instead of eating it.  
  
   What happened next was amusing.  
  
   Sicheng lifted the, rather phallically shaped, hot dog to his lips. His eyes were trained on Yuta’s running figure. A moment passed, and Yuta’s vision turned from the pitch and up towards his boyfriend, who had just slipped the hot dog into his mouth. The 19 year old didn’t _intend_ on making the act look sexual, yet Yuta must have taken it that way.  
  
   Or else, he wouldn’t have ran into the mascot that was stood idly by the side of the pitch.  
  
   Sicheng momentarily choked on his hot dog whilst Jungwoo erupted in laughter as Yuta collided with the mascot’s tiger outfit. The 21 year old threw the ball into the air as he hit the ground, wincing in pain. Luckily for the team, someone on Yuta’s side ran past and picked the ball up back into play, but the light brown haired boy was still lying down on his back. Sicheng put the hot dog in its napkin onto the seat and stood up, looking for his boyfriend. What even just happened? It all happened so quickly, yet Jungwoo was _dying_ from laughter.  
  
   Eventually, Yuta (unsteadily) got to his feet, and gave Sicheng a flustered wave, before running back into the game. Sicheng, with a breath of relief that he hadn’t just inadvertently wounded his boyfriend, sat back down onto the bleacher, next to an exhausted-from-laughing Jungwoo.  
  
   “I hope he’s okay,” Sicheng whispered, shivering slightly.  
  
   After a few minutes, Jungwoo had come down from his laughing fit.  
  
   “Sicheng… _oh my god_ that was so funny,” Jungwoo giggled.  
  
   “What even happened?”  
  
   The younger just let out a slight chuckle, and patting Sicheng’s knee. “He fell over right as you bit into your hot dog.”  
  
   “ _Shit,_ that was my fault?”  
  
   Jungwoo laughed slightly. “I mean… somewhat, I guess,” he giggled. “You distracted him! He has a dirty mind. It’s not your fault.”  
  
   Sicheng simply rolled his eyes. “That _does_ sound like Yuta,”  
  
   After a while, the game came to a close, with both teams retreating into the wings after a series of bows and pats on the back. Jungwoo thanked Sicheng for a good time and left in search of Lucas, whilst the blonde boy remained sitting on the bleachers. Within 10 minutes, the stands were more or less entirely empty. Sicheng slipped his phone out of his shorts pocket and began to text Yuta.  
  
   _‘Yuta! You played so well x’  
  
   _ The response was slightly delayed, but that was to be given – he was probably getting changed right now.  
  
   _‘even though i fell over?? x’  
  
   ‘Yes, even though you fell over ^^ x’  
   ‘It was very funny x’  
  
   ‘thank you cutie x’  
   ‘i proper hurt myself :(‘  
  
   _ Sicheng’s face flashed with concern.  
  
   _‘You did???? x’  
  
   ‘kinda … i got a nasty cut on my leg’  
  
   _ The 19 year old grinned to himself.  
  
   _‘I’ll have to kiss it better ;) x’  
  
_    When Yuta didn’t reply immediately, Sicheng’s mind began to overthink, as usual. Did he go too far? What if Yuta was genuinely hurt and Sicheng wasn’t showing enough compassion? Of course he cared that his boyfriend was _somewhat_ wounded. In the time that Sicheng had worried himself, Yuta had sent a reply.  
  
   _‘you’re gonna kiss my leg ?? x’  
   ‘there are much better places to kiss ;)’  
  
_    Sicheng hid his blush using the paw made from his coat sleeve, even though no one was around to see it.  
  
   _‘Hehe if you say so x’  
  
_    _‘where are you ?? x’  
   ‘i’m finished getting changed ^^’  
  
   ‘Still in the bleachers’  
   ‘Will come down now x’  
  
_    The blonde boy shoved his phone in his pocket, whisked his bag up and began to jog down the stands. One of his favourite feelings was the static energy that would rush through him as he was heading to meet his boyfriend. It was something he hoped would never change, that Yuta would always be able to make Sicheng thrilled just by seeing each other. As Sicheng got to the bottom of the bleachers, he made his way through the entrance. Leaning underneath the light of one of the lamps, one leg raised up so his foot was level with the knee of his other leg, was Yuta, eyes glued to his phone. After Sicheng had began walking towards him, the 21 year old’s attention was ripped from his screen and to his boyfriend, a winning smile broadening on his face. Yuta put his phone into the pocket of his trackpants and did a light jog over to his dongsaeng, wrapping his arms around the latter’s waist.  
  
   Sicheng rest his hands on Yuta’s biceps as he leaned up for a soft peck.  
  
   “Hey,” Yuta whispered, grinning as he had Sicheng trapped in his arms. “How are you?”  
  
   The younger let out a soft smile as he ran his hands up and down Yuta’s arms. “I’m good~ You played very well!”  
  
   Yuta let out a giggle. “Thank you~” he smirked, doing a small hop of victory. “I fell over, though,”  
  
   The 19 year old couldn’t help but laugh upon remembering that. “It’s fine, it was very cute,” he giggled. It wasn’t very clear under the light, but perhaps the 21 year old was blushing. Regardless, Yuta let Sicheng wriggle out of his arms, the pair walking side by side. Rather confidently, Sicheng slotted his arm through the gap of Yuta’s, seeing as the older had his hands in his pockets. They strolled arm-in-arm down the poorly lit path, each breath they were making condensing before them in the freezing air. “Hyung, can I stay over at the fraternity tonight, by the way?”  
  
   “More than welcome,” Yuta smiled, bringing his arm closer to his body, which in turn pulled Sicheng in. “Do you want a lift back to your dorm so you can get like, pyjamas and toothpaste and stuff?”  
  
   “If you wouldn’t mind~”  
  
   The older let out a soft laugh. “You know, I’d probably do anything for you.”  
  
   “Just probably?” Sicheng smirked, pouting slightly.  
  
   “Sichengie, _sweetie_ , there’s gotta be some limits as to what I’d do.”  
  
   Yuta’s dongsaeng grinned. “Like what?”  
  
   “Well… I wouldn’t murder someone for you…”  
  
   “Damn, you wouldn’t?”  
  
   The 21 year old just shook his head. “That’s as far as I’d go. I’d help bury them for you, though,” he said in an overly matter-of-factly way. This was enough to send Sicheng into a fit of giggles, mostly due to how serious Yuta seemed to sound. Maybe he actually would bury someone for him? It was all in jest, of course – Sicheng could arrange others to murder someone for him, if he needed. Not that he would.  
  
   The boyfriends eventually reached the end of the field, followed by a short walk to the parking lot Yuta had dumped his car. After the short drive to Sicheng’s dorm, Yuta stayed in the car whilst his dongsaeng quickly ran inside and got a change of clothes, as well as some toiletries, such as a toothbrush and some nice smelling deodorant for tomorrow. Kun wasn’t home yet, so Sicheng just figured he’d text him later as to where he was. Once he’d finished collecting everything, the 19 year old did a fast paced jog back to the car, Yuta whisking the pair across campus towards the fraternity. Whilst Yuta was waiting, he cranked the heating up, so as they drove through town Sicheng was slowly but surely thawing out. It wasn’t long before Yuta parked near the building, both boys walking hand in hand up the fraternity lawn, the older commenting on how cold Sicheng was still. Luckily, the inside of the fraternity was nice and toasty, both boys running up to Yuta’s room to dump their belongings.  
  
   Yuta closed the door behind them as they walked into his room. Sicheng clicked the bedside lamp on, revealing the untidy nature of his boyfriend’s bedroom. He must not of been expecting company, but regardless – it didn’t matter. Weirdly, Sicheng felt… _at home_ in Yuta’s bedroom. It was familiar. The bed sheets, the smell, the sound of laughter coming from throughout the fraternity from the other residents, being filtered through unusually thin walls. Everything was comfortable – it made Sicheng feel secure.  
  
   Should he be worried that he felt more at home with Yuta than when he was _actually_ at home?  
  
   As Sicheng walked over to ‘his’ side of the bed, sitting down on the edge and taking his shoes off, Yuta softly spoke up. “Hey, I’m just gonna get changed into some shorts.”  
  
   “Alright,” the younger replied, turning his head. What he _hadn’t_ expected to see was Yuta getting changed right in front of him. Yuta had been so quick in discarding of his shoes and track pants, walking around the room in a pair of tight white underwear as he searched for his shorts. Sicheng blushed slightly, averting his glance from Yuta’s bulge. Luckily, the 21 year old didn’t seem to notice. In fact, Sicheng’s hyung seemed comfortable as he walked around half naked in front of the other. So that begged the question – why wasn’t Sicheng? It wasn’t like Yuta’s body was a secret anymore. They literally had _sex_ 3 days ago. But Sicheng still felt so flustered when he saw Yuta’s body. Especially when everything the 3 rd year did just oozed with confidence. Sicheng had to stop himself from staring at Yuta’s butt as he rummaged through his drawers, before pulling out a pair of shorts. Once he slipped them on, Yuta turned to his boyfriend on the side of the bed, who quickly turned away as though he had just been caught.  
  
   Giggling to himself, Yuta walked over to Sicheng, sitting next to him. Just as the older was about to speak, Sicheng let out a gasp as he looked at the cut on Yuta’s leg. “Oh my gosh, hyung – are you okay?” he whispered, looking from the wound to Yuta’s eyes.  
  
   “Yeah. I mean – it hurts a _bit_ but, it’s fine.”  
  
   “It doesn’t look fine,” Sicheng said, voice laced with worry. “Wait here,” he whispered, jumping up from his seat and walking into the ensuite. He took a flannel into his hands and wet it under the sink, before taking a roll of toilet paper. When Sicheng walked back into the room, Yuta was lying down on the bed with a grin on his face, watching the younger’s every move. The 19 year old sat cross-legged on the bed next to Yuta’s leg, wet flannel in hand.  
  
   “Babe what are you doing?” Yuta quizzically said.  
  
   “Shh,” the younger said, eyes fixed on the older’s leg. As Sicheng cleaned Yuta’s cut using the flannel, the older was just chuckling at how serious his younger boyfriend was acting.  
  
   After a minute or so of Sicheng taking care of Yuta, he gave the 21 year old a proud smile. It was as though he was presenting Yuta with a gift, almost, eyes looking for any sign of approval. Such a look would decorate Yuta’s face when he scored a goal in football – both boys were constantly trying to impress the other. Either way, Yuta accepted the gentle nature and leaned down the bed to give Sicheng a soft kiss on the lips.  
  
   “Thank you, it feels much better,” Yuta said, a _hint_ of sarcasm present. Sicheng clearly didn’t pick up on it as he gave a toothy grin. “Hey, aren’t you cold? Your hands are still freezing,” he whispered, taking Sicheng’s hand into his own, rubbing over the cold digits.  
  
   “Kinda,” Sicheng softly spoke. He didn’t want to be a burden, but… he was still chilled to the bone thanks to the temperature.  
  
   Wordlessly, Yuta got up from his position on the bed. He moved back over to his drawer, kneeling down to the bottom shelf. Sicheng got up from the bed and watched as Yuta pulled out a white fila hoodie. “It might be a bit big for you,” the light brown haired boy murmured as his fingers traced the fabric, as though he was thinking in depth about something. Regardless, he stood up and faced Sicheng. “Arms up,” he whispered. Instantly, Sicheng did as he was told. Yuta easily slipped the hoodie over his head and onto his lithe figure, hands adjusting the hood of the hoodie as Sicheng smiled at him. “Perfect.”  
  
   “It’s way too big,” the younger pouted, looking at how the sleeves hung carelessly from where his hands actually were, creating a cute paw illusion. The bottom of the hoodie went to Sicheng’s mid thigh, yet he managed to pull it up so it sat at the waistband of his shorts. No wonder Sicheng was so cold – he practically forgot he was still wearing shorts from dance practise for the recital.  
  
   “Not that first time I’ve heard that,” Yuta smirked, moving his hands from the hood of Sicheng’s jumper to around his waist. It took a few moments of Sicheng looking confused, but once he let out a gasp and playfully slapped Yuta’s chest, the older let out a series of laughs.  
  
   The evening that followed was calm. Sicheng and Yuta were both too tired from their respective activities, and so just enjoyed each other’s company in the lounge on the 2 nd floor of the fraternity. Luckily, it was pretty quiet tonight – the majority of the fraternity had gone out into downtown Seoul, as Wednesday nights had many discounts for students at the various clubs. And those that were at the dormitory were just studying or going about their business rather quietly. A comfortable silence had blanketed the boyfriends, as Yuta watched some sports game on TV whilst Sicheng played on an app on his phone. Eventually, both boys retired back to the bedroom, bodies fatigued and yawns heavy. As soon as the door was closed, Yuta threw his shorts and shirt off, excusing himself to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Whilst Yuta was brushing his teeth, the younger quickly changed into a pair of navy blue pyjama shorts that _barely_ covered his legs, coming to an end just where Sicheng’s butt started, yet kept the hoodie on – both because it was very warm, yet it also shrouded him in Yuta’s smell.  
  
   It was _incredibly_ comforting.  
  
   Once Yuta walked out the bathroom, Sicheng quickly brushed his teeth and brushed his hair free of the gel he applied earlier in the day. As he walked back into the bedroom, his boyfriend was waiting under the covers, arm looking lonely as it was stretched out across the side of the bed. Naturally, the 19 year old filled in the emptiness, Yuta’s arm finding its way across Sicheng’s body, tightening him into the older’s hug. All that was left was Sicheng turning the light off for the light brown haired boy to drag Sicheng into the hug even tighter, Yuta nuzzling his head into the back of his boyfriend’s neck as the younger drew the covers over them.  
  
   “You smell nice~” The 21 year old whispered, planting a soft kiss on Sicheng’s neck.  
  
   “I do?”  
  
   “Mm,” Yuta sighed, eyes fluttering shut. The room was shrouded in darkness, apart from the soft glow from the street lights outside that was entering the room through the bottom of the curtains.  
  
   Sicheng turned over in Yuta’s arms, so he was now facing the older’s chest. He closed his eyes as he rest his head on Yuta’s pecs. The older’s hand moved from Sicheng’s back to his upper thigh. It was an intimate sensation, and if they hadn’t both been so tired, it could of escalated into something else – but it was clear the older wasn’t intending it like that. Yuta’s hand moved up and down Sicheng’s thigh, moving up his shorts, until the older was cupping the 19 year old’s butt cheek.  
  
   “Hyung,” Sicheng whispered. Suddenly, the hand retracted quickly, moving back to the younger’s back.  
  
   “ _Shit,_ sorry,” he replied softly, voice dripping with sleep.  
  
   “No, it’s nice, just… your hands are cold,” the blonde boy giggled against Yuta’s chest. The older hummed slightly, moving his hand back to Sicheng’s thigh. They weren’t charged, _passionate_ strokes like they had been a few days ago – they were simply curious. As though Yuta was painting a picture in his mind, and his fingers were the brushes. After Sicheng’s thigh had been felt, Yuta moved his hand in between his dongsaeng’s legs, inches away from brushing against the younger’s bulge.  
  
   “You’re so soft,” Yuta said against Sicheng’s head, a hint of admiration present in his voice. “You’re nice to just… _touch_ ,” he sighed, 1 hand feeling the inside of Sicheng’s thigh whilst the other was rubbing his back.  
  
   What Sicheng _loved_ was that none of this touching was sexual. They were simply enjoying each other’s company, eyes shut as Yuta’s hands comfortingly ran themselves around Sicheng’s legs, his back, his butt. It was sweet – Sicheng felt like a piece of art under Yuta’s hands. Meanwhile, Sicheng’s hands were just resting against Yuta’s torso as he intertwined the pairs legs, getting comfortable.  
  
   “I wanna touch you forever, if you’d let me,” the 21 year old whispered. “ _So precious_ ,” he sighed, voice slowly drifting off.  
  
   “I’m yours,” Sicheng hummed against Yuta’s chest. He couldn’t entirely tell, but he was sure Yuta gripped gently on his inner thigh after he finished speaking.  
  
   “ _Mm_ , just mine,” Yuta whispered contently. He removed his hand from between Sicheng’s legs and moved it onto his back, connecting with his other one. Yuta then tightened his hold, squeezing Sicheng’s body into a hug. “I like that idea.”  
  
   It was _cute_. This was the first time Yuta had been so… possessive? That made it sound like it was a bad thing, yet Sicheng was welcoming it entirely. Being ‘Yuta’s’ implied a sense of safety, security – something he knew the older was capable of providing. Without a doubt, Sicheng was certain that if anything ever went wrong, Yuta would be there in an instant to help. The younger had always been living a life where overprotective figures were watching from afar, yet with Yuta, he striked the perfect balance. It was clear Yuta was protective, if the events when they went clubbing that one time were any proof, but he wasn’t _overbearing_ – he respected Sicheng’s privacy, Sicheng’s choices. He made Sicheng feel safe, but not trapped. It was equilibrium, and he hoped it would always stay like that.  
  
   “Good night hyung,” the blonde boy whispered. The older pressed their bodies together, as though he was trying to merge the pair into one another. It was hard to forget, sometimes, that this was the first time Yuta had ever been this intimate with someone else as well. He’d had his fair share of one night stands and drunken sexual encounters – _none_ of which would of included cuddling. So it was baby steps for both of them as they snuggled together, Sicheng warm in Yuta’s hoodie and arms.  
  
   The older just hummed to Sicheng’s good night – he was already asleep.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   It was getting closer and closer to the dance recital.  
  
   The production was only a few weeks away by this point, and tensions were high among the cast – more and more students were in the dance studios nowadays, anxiously practising to the best of their ability. Luckily, Jungwoo, Ten and Sicheng had been practising for a while already, and so they already knew their choreo – it was just a matter of going over and over and _over_ it, to keep it solid in their memories. There was absolutely no room for error.  
  
   Right now, the trio were moving as though they were 1 body in front of the dance studio mirror. All the dance moves were fluid, elegant: like a silk garment caught in an updraft. It was beautiful to watch as the boys’ trainers squeaked on the floor, yet the noise was hardly noticeable. The time was coming to around noon, and the studio was bursting with activity, students dancing and talking alike. Ten, Sicheng and Jungwoo weren’t the only ones dancing, obviously, but they were the best by far. Anyone and everyone could tell that these 3 were the real deal. They seemed to have a chemistry that was enigmatic, seeing as they’d only danced together for such a short time.  
  
   Of the 3 boys, Ten was definitely the most skilled. Sicheng had raw talent, sure, but everything about the way Ten danced was _refined_. It was professional. For Sicheng, dancing was but a hobby he enjoyed and so happened to have a real knack for it. But, in Ten’s case? Dance seemed to be his life – the blood rushing through his veins. Sicheng loved dancing, but Ten had a burning passion, and it was visible in the way he moved. Jungwoo, on the other hand, was probably the weakest link of the group. Not that he was bad – he was just slower on picking up the choreography. But when he did? Jungwoo memorized it to the exact angle of the arms, the exact position of his tiptoes. It was a slower process, but Jungwoo was such a perfectionist with the way in which he danced, that anything he turned out would be perfect, if given enough time.  
  
   The music in their corner of the studio came to an end, the boys breathlessly laughing slightly. As Ten walked from his end position, Jungwoo and Sicheng followed – the 2 nd year seemed to call the shots, and if he moved from their positions in front of the mirror, it often meant he was finished with dancing. At least for now, that is.  
  
   “We’re doing well,” Ten panted, smiling to the other boys. He slid to the floor against the wall next to his duffel bag. The black haired boy then unzipped his bag and took out a large water bottle.  
  
   “Yeah, it’s not long now until the actual recital…” the youngest of the 3 whispered, Jungwoo running a hand through his ruffled up hair. He leaned against the pillar, folding his arms. “Hey, who are you bringing?”  
  
   Sicheng raised his eyebrows in confusion as he approached the others. “We have to bring someone?”  
  
   “I mean, you don’t _have_ to, but we get two free tickets ‘cause we’re part of the cast,” Jungwoo nodded. Ten raised his finger as he took a sip of his bottle in agreement with the younger.  
  
   “Oh, I’ll definitely give one of them to Yuta hyung, then,” Sicheng wondered.  
  
   “What about the other one?”  
  
   “I’m sure Kun would like to come as well,” the blonde boy smiled.  
  
   “No can do – I already gave him one of mine,” Ten said, after gulping down his water. “You’ll have to find someone else.”  
  
   The blonde boy raised his finger to his lip, humming as he thought.  
  
   “I might… might ask my _Dad_ ,” Sicheng whispered, careful to gauge the response from his peers. They obviously knew that Sicheng’s Father was one of South Korea’s most revered criminals, yet they liked to just… _ignore_ it. Not that it ever came up in conversation, to be honest. Sometimes it very much felt like the elephant in the room, an awkward topic which Ten and Jungwoo like to skirt around. Sicheng had never directly talked about his Dad in such a way like this.  
  
   Ten nearly choked on his water. “R-Really?”  
  
   “ _Fuck_ ,” Jungwoo ushered under his breath. “Way to add a bunch of pressure.”  
  
   “He’s actually really nice,” Sicheng put on a tone with an edge of defensiveness. “It’d be nice for him to see me in a proper dance recital.”  
  
   “You’ve never been in a recital before?” the oldest asked, as he got to his feet and ran his free hand through his black hair. When Sicheng shook his head, Ten continued to speak. “That’s crazy. You’re a really good dancer. Has he never seen you dance before?”  
  
   “Well, I wasn’t the most… _popular_ , in high school,” Sicheng replied. “If I ever auditioned for a recital then everyone else would suddenly drop out, so I just… never bothered.”  
  
   “That _sucks_ ,” Jungwoo sighed. “I mean… as long as he doesn’t, like, shoot us or anything.”  
  
   “Sicheng’s dad is not going to shoot someone,” Ten said with a roll of his eyes.  
  
   Sicheng just nodded. “Yeah. He’d get someone else to do that, _obviously_.”  
  
   The trio just gave off a series of soft laughs, Sicheng joining them on the floor where they were sat. It was nice to have more people to joke around with. Someone that wasn’t Yuta. Not that Sicheng was growing tired of Yuta’s company, it was just he wanted a separate group of friends from his boyfriend. Sure, Ten and Yuta were best friends, but that was beside the point – whenever Sicheng was around Jungwoo and Ten, the air was different, more friendly and carefree, than when Sicheng was around his boyfriend. When the 19 year old was around Yuta they tended to be more cute, flirtatious, and whilst the older was definitely witty, they tended to be more soft and cuddly nowadays. So it was healthy for Sicheng in the fact that he had a separate group in which he could just relax and have fun.  
  
   “So, if Yuta hyung and your dad are both going to this recital, are they going to like… meet each other? Does Taeyong even know you have a boyfriend?”  
  
   The blonde boy pursed his lips, taking a sip from his water bottle before looking to Ten. “The last time I spoke to him was when Yuta hyung and I weren’t dating, but we’d _kissed_ , so it was in the early stages. Dad wasn’t really pleased when he found out,” Sicheng whispered.  
  
   “Do you think it’ll be a bad idea for them to meet, then?” Jungwoo chimed in.  
  
   “I want them to meet, of course – they’re both like, the two most important people to me. I’m just scared that Yuta won’t want to meet him, and that even if they do, then my Dad might be really… _rude_.”  
  
   “Sicheng, I don’t think anyone _really_ wants to meet Lee Taeyong,” Ten whispered. “No offence.”  
  
   “None taken.”  
  
   “But, with Yuta, I think if it’ll make you happy, then he’ll be willing. It’s not like he’s a boyfriend to be ashamed of, that is.”  
  
   “That’s true… I’m very lucky,” Sicheng smiled. “It’d be nice for them to meet at the recital because it’s neutral ground, so it’ll hopefully be peaceful.”  
  
   Jungwoo nodded. “And you wanna to meet his parents?”  
  
   The 19 year old instantly nodded. “Definitely. I’d love to meet his mom.”  
  
   “Well, the holidays are coming up soon,” Ten wondered. “You could always just stay over at each other’s houses. That’d be cute – you’d meet each other’s families and stuff. Very _boyfriendy_ ~”  
  
   Sicheng let a smile bloom, a soft giggle escaping his lips. “That’d be cool, I guess. I’d like to meet Yuta’s brother too, and see if he’s as bad as he says.”  
  
   “Oh, Jaemin?” Ten grinned. “Yeah – he’s a little shit.”  
  
   “You’ve met him?”  
  
   “When he was younger,” the oldest murmured. “Maybe he’s matured a bit.”  
  
   The trio of boys began to pack their water bottles back into their various bags, getting back onto their feet. With a nod from Ten, Jungwoo sauntered back over to his wireless speaker, kneeling down next to it with his phone, finger poised over the play button. Once the other 2 were in position, Jungwoo tapped play, and quickly rushed next to them. After a few seconds of waiting, the first notes began to play, and the boys were taken over by the rush of practicing their dance once more.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING YOU'RE LITERALLY THE BEST
> 
> i love and thank anyone and everyone who gives this fic the slightest time of day
> 
> support simon says in a few days !!!!!!!!!
> 
> have an amazing day !! <3


	13. the feeling of Motion Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng, Ten and Jungwoo's hard work finally pays off in the dance recital. Yet, after the show, both of Sicheng's worlds collide head on - and he's not ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!  
> another chapter yayy  
> i hope you enjoy it :)

   The night of the Christmas Recital was here! Backstage of the main auditorium, members of the cast were nervously running around and getting changed, rehearsing their parts or applying their makeup. It wasn’t a tense atmosphere, but rather one of excitement – everyone had worked so hard to learn their respective parts, and it was finally the night to show off to the audience. The crowd was already filling up, and there was still 30 minutes before the show even began. Sicheng was currently sat down on the floor of one of the many spacious dressing rooms which the auditorium building was blessed with. Sat to the side of Sicheng was Jungwoo, the brown haired boy smiling softly down at his phone.  
  
   “Xuxi said that he’s already here,” Jungwoo giggled, holding the phone up so Sicheng could see it. “Isn’t that sweet?”  
  
   Sicheng gently turned his head towards the younger, giving a slight nod. “How are you two, nowadays?”  
  
   It’d been 2 weeks since the last time Sicheng and Jungwoo had _properly_ talked to each other at the football game. Time seemed to have flown by, with the Recital but half an hour away. “I’d say we’re… getting somewhere, definitely,” Jungwoo smirked. “We like, went on a date. Like a _proper_ date. He took me out to this nice place to eat, and then we saw a movie!”  
  
   “Oh wow!” The blonde boy praised, patting Jungwoo’s back. “So you feel better about you and Lucas then?”  
  
   “Yep! It could be better, but, it’s _so_ much nicer than where we were a few weeks ago.”  
  
   Sicheng smiled, turning his gaze away and back onto his own reflection in the mirror which he was sat cross legged in front of. “I’m happy for you,” he whispered, tapping his makeup brush into the powder and continuing to carefully contour his cheeks. Dance Troupe D’s dress code was all black, seeing as most of the scenes were alongside the villains of the Recital. Therefore, Sicheng was applying darker than usual makeup, with harsher contour lines and a sharp line of eyeliner. After around 10 more minutes of working before the mirror, he looked completely unrecognizable. Daehwi, on the other hand, looked striking and beautiful – he was in a different group, Dance Troupe B, who’s image was designed to be purer and more innocent. Jungwoo looked equally as menacing as Sicheng as they sat next to each other in the dressing room. Ten had gotten ready elsewhere in the building, but by the time he walked through the door, all eyes were on him. The 2 nd year had his jet-black hair spiked up in his trademark style, yet that was where the similarities ended. Underneath his eyes were blood red and white _rhinestones_ , catching the fluorescent light of the dressing room. His eyeliner was angled to such perfection, alongside his heavy contour, that the smile which shortly bloomed on his face seemed awkwardly out of place. It was though Ten had risen out of the ashes of a volcano as some elegant beast.  
  
   An elegant beast that playfully ran over to Jungwoo and Sicheng, sitting down between them and giggling as he slapped their arms.  
  
   “You _guys_! I’m so fucking excited. How much longer is it? I wanna get out there!”  
  
   Ten’s entire body seemed to be thrumming in excitement, Jungwoo and Sicheng exchanging amused yet slightly nervous glances. The youngest of the trio took his phone from its place beside him and tapped on the home button. “Another fifteen minutes. We’ll be called for standby soon!”  
  
   “ _Eeee!_ ” Ten squealed, giggling and shaking Jungwoo’s body. “You two look _so_ gorgeous, by the way. We’re really about to go out on stage and… _whew!_ I can’t wait.”  
  
   “Thanks hyung,” Sicheng smiled, rubbing Ten’s arm gently. It was hard to ignore the pooling feeling in Sicheng’s gut – he was riddled with nerves. Sure, he’d been praised by practically everyone on how good of a dancer he was, but to actually perform in front of such a large crowd? It was incredibly daunting. What if he slipped up? Everyone would see, and no one would forget. Not to mention the 2 most important men to him were sat in the crowd – both Yuta _and_ his Father.  
  
   Oh _shit_. Yuta and his Father. In the same room. Surely they were both here by now? The idea of Yuta and his Dad meeting didn’t exactly make Sicheng feel on top of the world. He knew what his Father was like: besides being one of the most dangerous men in South Korea, holding the power to end someone’s life in the blink of an eye, Sicheng was aware of how protective Taeyong was over him. Just a few months ago, when Sicheng returned home to see his Dad again on his birthday, the mob boss made his views on Sicheng’s relationship explicitly clear. He _didn’t_ approve. Not at first, anyway. It took some persuading, but eventually Taeyong settled to the idea of Sicheng having a boyfriend. That didn’t mean Sicheng wasn’t scared shitless that Taeyong would scare Yuta away.  
  
   The worst thing of this whole situation was how Sicheng hadn’t told Yuta his Father was even coming, which would make the realisation even _worse_.  
  
   It’s not that Sicheng didn’t want to give Yuta a heads up – of course he did! Sicheng’s top priority was to make sure Yuta was comfortable with meeting Taeyong. It’s just… it was easier said than done. Having to sit your boyfriend down and tell him that your criminal Father was also coming to the Recital was a terrifying thought to Sicheng. He didn’t want to scare Yuta away. In such a short time, Yuta was already like Sicheng’s life line – he just couldn’t imagine himself without such a lovely man like the 21 year old.  
  
   Regardless, the Recital was too close to continue worrying. Whatever happened between Taeyong and Yuta, Sicheng would stay by the latter’s side. He knew Taeyong had _mostly_ good intentions. The Father just wanted to keep his son safe, and who could blame him? It’s just Taeyong had tunnel vision and was incredibly cautious about _everything_. Anyone touching Sicheng was an act of aggression to the overly protective Taeyong.  
  
   _Imagine_ how he’d react if Taeyong learnt Yuta took Sicheng’s virginity.  
  
   Shaking the thoughts out of his mind, Sicheng stood up. He’d have to confront the situation later. A bell was ringing for 5 seconds backstage, indicting to the cast that it was time for everyone to get into standby positions. Sensing the blonde boy’s nerves, Ten slipped his hand into his dongsaeng’s.  
  
   “You alright?”  
  
   Gingerly, the 19 year old nodded. “Yeah. I’m just nervous, that’s all.”  
  
   “About the dance?”  
  
   “Well – yes,” Sicheng stuttered. “But also about…”  
  
   Ten was guiding Sicheng through the winding hallways of the backstage area. It didn’t take long until they were standing in Dance Troupe D’s line on the edge of the stage. As it was the opening act, the entire cast had at least 1 part, and so the entirety of the area was packed full of students.  
  
   “What else?”  
  
   “Just – about Yuta hyung, and my Father.”  
  
   Ten nodded. “Did you tell Yuta that he was coming?”  
  
   “No,” Sicheng shook his head, turning his gaze down in guilt, somewhat. “D-Do you think it’ll be an issue?”  
  
   The older boy paused, his thumb gently rubbing Sicheng’s hand from the linked position they were both in. As the moment of silence between the boys increased in length, so did the intensity of the pool of worry in Sicheng’s stomach.  
  
   “To be honest? _Nah_. I think Yuta will be shocked, sure. But I don’t see it escalating into anything more than that. You know how much he likes you, Sicheng, and he _understands_ how you feel about your Dad. If my Dad was _the_ Lee Taeyong, you can bet your ass I wouldn’t introduce him to Kun,” he giggled, Sicheng’s look of worry slowly turning into a smile. “So, whilst it would have been nice to give Yuta a heads up – there’s no denying that – he’ll be okay. I promise.”  
  
   Ten’s words pleasantly soaked themselves into Sicheng, replenishing his senses and washing away his nerves. Despite Ten’s care free and fun loving onlook on life, he was really thoughtful and wise when the time called for it. Luckily, he’d put it into use when calming Sicheng down – now, instead of guilt and fear for what was to come, he felt at peace. Of course there was still lingering trepidation as to how Yuta would react, but Ten was right: if he was going to run away, then he’d probably have done so already. Sicheng knew that he wanted Yuta and his relationship to be long term. He didn’t know… _how_ long term, but Sicheng was aware of his ever growing dependency for his boyfriend. The one thing that remained absolutely frightening to the blonde boy was that Yuta wasn’t seeing their relationship as long term, and so therefore the whole idea of meeting each other’s parents would be futile. But that didn’t matter right now.  
  
   The music began with a flourish, incredibly loud even from backstage. An opening monologue was being presented by one of the lead cast members. Sicheng knew it would be another minute or so until it was his troupe’s cue to begin their opening act. Standing backstage, listening to the applause and cheering from the audience, a sudden rush ran itself through the blonde boy’s body. There was no turning back now. All previous thoughts had quickly disappeared – all that was on Sicheng’s mind was his dance, the energy surging through him to get out there and _perform_. He was wrong, a few weeks ago: he discounted himself as lesser than Ten because the older seemed to be a born dancer. But no. Sicheng was as well – he could tell. The seconds seemed to be dragging on, all he wanted to do was bound up the steps to the stage and get started. Everyone around him seemed to be reflecting this energy, as though an electric current was running through everybody backstage.  
  
   When the cue arrived, Sicheng didn’t even register moving. His legs seemed to be out of his control as he followed Ten in front of him. Shortly after, the music became much clearer, as did the cheering and clapping that followed from the audience. Momentarily blinded by the stage lights, Sicheng glided over to his spot and got into his position. Whilst the opening act would continue, the dancers would wait for another minute before beginning their routines. It gave Sicheng enough time to do 1 thing.  
  
   Locate Yuta in the crowd.  
  
   His eyes had barely adjusted to the shining spotlights on the stage. It was difficult, but after 10 seconds or so, Sicheng could begin to make faces out in the audience. Everyone was looking very smart, with a range of colours represented on people’s dresses, shirts and dinner jackets. The only scope Sicheng had of Yuta looking smart was their… ‘first’ technical date at the diner, where the 21 year old had dressed up nicely. If Yuta turned up like that, then Sicheng had no complaints, as he looked _absurdly_ handsome that night. Sicheng’s eyes continued to race around the crowd, but he was struggling to find his boyfriend. He _was_ here, right? He must be. Yuta wouldn’t miss this for the world, surely. It didn’t help that the stage was brightly lit up, whilst the crowd was plunged into darkness. Oh, and how there seemed to be hundreds of people watching. Not that that was making Sicheng particularly nervous, though. When he was backstage it seemed to be an idea which turned his blood to ice. But then he began to think rationally. He wouldn’t be sticking out from the crowd too much – he was with his dance troupe, and so he wasn’t ever alone in the performance. Had Sicheng been performing a solo, sure, he’d have probably felt worse. But that wasn’t the case. Sicheng could blend in with the other dancers, but also show Yuta (and also his Father, who was somewhere in the crowd as well) how brilliant he was at dancing.  
  
   Sicheng didn’t care about captivating the entire audience’s attention. But he _did_ desire that for Yuta.  
  
   The portion of music ended. Stage lights were filtered from their shining white to a deep hue of blood red, coating the performance area in the colour. This was Dance Troupe D’s cue. Another track began to play, and Sicheng knew it was time. As though the entire dance cast was 1 body, everyone began to move in perfect synchronization, Sicheng’s mind being lost with the melody.  
  
  
➫ ➫ . . .  
  
  
   _Arabesque, plie, final pose!  
  
_    He was out of breath. He was sweaty. He was aching all over. But he’d done it.  
  
   The crowd were instantly all up on their feet, cheering and clapping. It’d been a tough 2 hours, but the dance recital had finally come to a fantastic finish. The entire cast were in their final poses on the stage, basking in the attention which the audience were drenching them in. Sicheng’s body was _so_ tired, but it had all been worth it. He wasn’t focused on the audience during his scenes, but if he ever was, he caught the shocked looks people were giving him. It wasn’t new to anyone know that Sicheng was Taeyong’s son. If the rumour that said Sicheng wasn’t worthy of being on the dance programme was still circulating, it had certainly been killed after his performances. To say Sicheng performed perfectly would be a disastrous understatement. As he stood there, on the stage, a brilliant smile adorning his face, Sicheng rest assured in the fact that people would never underestimate his dancing skills again. He’d proven himself through a trial of fire, but _boy_ was it worth it. The cheering seemed to be endless, Sicheng letting out a soft laugh from his final pose.  
  
   Something caught his attention, though. For a moment, Sicheng could have sworn he heard his name. Disregarding it, he turned his gaze to the crowd – and that’s when he heard it again. Eyes turning up, Sicheng saw on the 1 st tier of the auditorium a jumping figure. It didn’t take too long to guess who it was. From the light brown hair to the ridiculous heart shape he was forming with his arms onto his head, Yuta was cheering the loudest for his boyfriend. That was the last thing Sicheng saw before the curtains closed, managing to send his hyung a content smile.  
  
   As soon as the red velvet curtains drew to a close, several cast members fell to the ground with relief. Laughter ensued, people running over to their friends and congratulating them. Others were quick to run off the stage, either into the audience to see their loved ones, or backstage to go to the toilet or something. 2 hours was a _long_ time, especially when everyone was under so much pressure to perform well. Sicheng ran over to Ten, the older taking the blonde boy into a hug. Jungwoo quickly ran over to the pair, wrapping his arms around both of them. The trio of them were jumping up and down and laughing, congratulating one another on how well they all performed. After a short while, they hobbled over to the steps off the stage, bodies spent and breaths short.  
  
   “We… we really did it,” Ten laughed, guiding his dongsaeng’s back to their makeup area. All 3 of them collapsed by the wall, emotions still abuzz after such an exciting recital.  
  
   “Did you see that guy mess up?” Jungwoo grinned. “He was one of the singers.”  
  
   “Oh, he sang the same line twice,” Sicheng recalled, Jungwoo nodding. The trio began to laugh together.  
  
   “Imagine fucking up in front of that many people,” the oldest sighed. “Thank Christ we didn’t huh.”  
  
   “That’s very true,” Jungwoo pointed. “If I slipped up or something I would of just… ran off stage,” he laughed. Everyone else laughed in return, nodding in agreement. If Sicheng had slipped or missed a beat, he most definitely wouldn’t ever be able to live it down. The blonde boy didn’t take failure or rejection very well – one of his most major flaws.  
  
   “Hey, I want ya’ll to know something,” Ten cleared his throat. The backstage room they were in was still pretty crowded, yet was emptying quickly. Soon enough, it would just be the 3 of them in there. “Learning and training with you guys… it’s been fuckin’ real,” the oldest grinned. He threw an arm around both Jungwoo and Sicheng. “You’re both so fuckin’ chill and I really… really _loved_ working with you both. It was really cool and ya’ll made this whole recital that much better for me. So – I guess what I’m tryna say is… thank you,” Ten whispered. The eldest’s voice seemed to have trailed off by the end. That was the thing about Ten: he was very witty, sassy and confident, yet he had a soft spot. A soft spot that was guarded with spikes, fire and a dry humour.  
  
   “I feel the same way,” Jungwoo nodded. “We should definitely keep in touch. Like – go out as a three and stuff. That’d be nice!”  
  
   Sicheng smiled, nodding in agreement. “Sounds good!”  
  
   “Haven’t you only ever been out once, Sicheng?” Ten pointed his finger. The younger nodded, running his hand through his hair, grimacing slightly when he realised it was stuck to his head with sweat.  
  
   “ _Fuck_!” Jungwoo giggled. “We’ll show you a good time. Girls night out,” he chuckled, Jungwoo’s laughter being soft to the ears after such a loud performance.  
  
   Ten laughed along with Jungwoo, before clearing his throat and getting to his feet. “Hey, are you two coming to Irene’s tonight?” Once Ten looked down on Jungwoo and Sicheng, who seemed to have clueless looks on their faces, he let out a light scoff. “Irene’s this girl in Yuta’s year who’s on the dance program. Anyway – she’s hosting a house party. And trust me, Irene’s house parties are the fuckin’ _bomb_ ,” Ten grinned. “Everyone in the dance cast is invited.”  
  
   “If we were invited, how come we weren’t told?” Jungwoo wondered.  
  
   “Jungwoo, _sweetie_ , Irene doesn’t just come up to you and give you a cute lil piece of paper saying, ‘ _You’re invited!’_. We’re not in elementary school. Irene’s a bad bitch. Anyway, she told people to spread that her house party was for the dance cast ‘and friends’. Aka, you can bring Xuxi and Yuta,” Ten directed to Sicheng, who let out a soft breath of relief. He felt fatigued, but the promise of a party with all the other dancers seemed promising. And if he could take Yuta, well – all the more fun!  
  
   “Sounds great~” Sicheng smiled, getting to his feet.  
  
   “I’ll check with Xuxi ‘because we might already be going somewhere,” Jungwoo nodded, following Sicheng in his actions. “But Irene sounds cool.”  
  
   “Oh, she’s the _coolest_ ,” Ten reiterated. “Irene’s house parties are for the, like, _top of the food chain_. I hope to see you two there,” he smiled, picking up his duffel bag of stuff. “See you in a bit!” he smiled, giving both Sicheng and Jungwoo a quick hug before running out the room. The latter two boys began to mill about the room, removing their makeup and having a friendly anecdotal chat about the recital.  
  
   After 5 minutes, Jungwoo had gotten changed and already removed his makeup, anxious to go meet Lucas outside. So when Sicheng was by himself, he quickly changed into a black sweatshirt and some ripped light blue jeans, and removed the heavy makeup off his face. He brushed his hair, hoping to make it somewhat presentable for when he was out in public again. Suddenly, a knock on the doorway ripped Sicheng’s attention away from the mirror.  
  
   “Hey, I know this is a celebrity access area only, but can I come in?” Yuta grinned, leaning on the doorway. He was wearing a smart, light blue button up shirt with black jeans and formal shoes. His light brown hair had recently been cut, and was a classic long on the top short on the sides style. Everything about Yuta seemed clean shaven and sleek – he looked more handsome than ever.  
  
   Sicheng let out a laugh upon turning around and looking him in the eyes. Instantly, the 19 year old leapt out of his seat and ran to his boyfriend. Yuta wrapped him into his arms, Sicheng giggling against his chest. The younger took Yuta’s hand into his and lead him into the empty room, sitting his boyfriend next to his makeup station.  
  
   “You okay?” Yuta smiled, eyes focusing on the younger.  
  
   “More than okay,”  
  
   The light brown hair boy folded his arms, looking at Sicheng’s reflection in the wall mirror in which they were both sat in front of. Sicheng had to rip his eyes off of Yuta’s biceps which seemed to be bulging out of his shirt thanks to the position he was sat in. “You were fuckin’ _amazing_ , Sichengie,” he whispered.  
  
   “I was?” Sicheng giggled, wiping a makeup removal wipe across his cheeks.  
  
   “Nah – you were more than amazing. Like, I knew you were a good dancer. You must be if you’re on the fuckin’ dance program. But – _fuck!_ Watching you dance, I felt like my eyes were glued to you. You’re always beautiful to me baby, but when you were on that stage, fuckin’ hell you were gorgeous. I felt so proud to see my boyfriend up there.”  
  
   The younger didn’t know if he was blushing, or if his face was just red and splotchy thanks to the makeup removal. “Hyung, you said fuck, like, four times,” Sicheng giggled, not knowing how to respond.  
  
   “Ah, sorry. I swear when I’m flustered,” Yuta smiled, catching Sicheng’s eye in the mirror. Sicheng already knew that thanks to… that _other_ time. “But you really blew me away. It’s like you were born to dance, which sounds crazy, but it’s true!” the older laughed slightly, using both of his hands to hold onto Sicheng’s free one. “I’m just so proud of you right now.”  
  
   “Thank you,” Sicheng whispered, finishing with the makeup removal. He swivelled around in his chair, so he was facing Yuta. The pairs legs were in between one another, Yuta moving so both of their hands were now linked together. Both of them were looking into one another’s eyes, with the soft din of the audience leaving the auditorium barely audible through thick walls.  
  
   “You look really handsome tonight.”  
  
   “ _Aw_ , I do?” Yuta smiled.  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “Your new haircut really suits you,” he smiled, moving one of his hands to the side of Yuta’s head and rubbing it. “It feels all fuzzy and stuff,” he giggled.  
  
   “I was worried you wouldn’t like it,” the older admitted.  
  
   “Why wouldn’t I like it?”  
  
   “Dunno – it was just a change,” he shrugged. “I had longish hair for a while. Maybe you just liked long haired Yuta~”  
  
   Sicheng scoffed before giggling. “Yes, I base my attraction for you _purely_ off of your hair, and not the way you treat me, or your wonderful personality,” the 19 year old smirked. “T-Thank you for coming tonight, by the way.”  
  
   “You kiddin’? I wouldn’t of missed it for the world.”  
  
   The pair looked at each other for another minute or so, Yuta’s eyes drifting to Sicheng’s plump lips. Looking at Yuta… it still seemed unreal how lucky Sicheng was. How many people could say they landed a boyfriend who was not only _extremely_ attractive, but also a genuinely kind and compassionate person? Sicheng could. The blonde boy stood up from his seat, breaking the pair’s eye contact – something which Sicheng used to be so afraid of. Once the 19 year old had packed all his makeup away, the pair stood up together, facing one another. Yet before they walked out of the dressing room, Yuta carefully took Sicheng’s hand into his, pulling the younger into his body. In this proximity, Yuta’s hot breath mingling with Sicheng’s, it was impossible not to lean in. It was a gentle kiss, Sicheng taking Yuta’s bottom lip into his mouth. Their kiss began to deepen, however, with Yuta tightening his grip around his boyfriend’s body. Sicheng had his hands resting on Yuta’s upper back, gently rubbing his tight shirt. Yuta’s tongue poked against Sicheng’s lips, the latter willingly opening his mouth to accommodate. The pair’s tongues slid against each other, a light moan escaping from Sicheng. However, a knock on the doorway caused the pair to turn away from each other, and to the entrance of the room.  
  
   This time, Taeyong stood in the doorway.  
  
   Sicheng’s father had his arms folded as he watched the pair separate from their kiss in front of him. The mob boss was wearing a blood red shirt with black trousers and a matching dinner jacket. His hair had since been dyed platinum white with streaks of ice blue since the last time Sicheng had seen him. Everything about Taeyong was sleek, tailored and _dangerous_. He looked extremely out of place as he stood in the backstage hallway of the college auditorium. Taeyong’s lapel was coloured a pure white, matching both his hair colour and the shade his face had turned at the scene that had been unfolding before him.  
  
   One thing the 19 year old noticed about Yuta was how quickly he had frozen. Whilst Sicheng’s hyung usually exuded a pure and refreshing type of confidence, Yuta seemed to have… _closed off_. His grip around Sicheng’s waist seemed to become iron hard, as though Taeyong was a rabid animal and Yuta’s protective response had been triggered. There was a heavy silence that clung between the 3 men, Taeyong’s eyes boring into Yuta’s soul. Sicheng could sense how uncomfortable this was for _everyone_ involved, yet the feeling he felt the most was _guilt_. It was too late. How couldn’t he of warned Yuta about this? Sicheng’s boyfriend truly was a deer in headlights in this moment.  
  
   “D-Dad,” Sicheng whispered, the shortness of breath causing him to cough slightly. “It’s so nice to see you could come,” he said, this time with a braver tone in his voice. Tentatively, he freed himself from Yuta’s clasp, and walked over to his Father, taking him into a hug. Taeyong’s arms slipped around his son, but once again, Sicheng felt himself feel _constrained_ , not loved. As though both of these men were trying to protect him from something which wasn’t a threat at all. Only Taeyong perceived Yuta as a threat, and vice versa. However, once Sicheng patted his Father’s back, he confidently walked back to Yuta and linked their fingers together. At this, Taeyong’s stare began to shoot at their hands, instead of Yuta’s eyes.  
  
   “Yes, I could make it,” Taeyong growled slightly. “And you were wonderful, darling.” His eyes moved from the pair’s hands and back to Yuta’s face, the 21 year old not yielding. Throughout his life, the man Yuta had learnt as dangerous, as _life threatening_ , was stood right in front of him. Lee Taeyong’s name was whispered quietly in people’s houses as this _monster_ , as though he were an evil being from a child’s fairy tale. And if pure looks could kill, Yuta would be 6 foot under by this point. Another few seconds or so of ‘dominant’ staring passed. The air was so thick and tense, that if Sicheng got a butter knife, he could probably cut it.  
  
   “Are you going to introduce me to your… _friend_?” Taeyong smiled. His tone was nothing but hostile, words dripping with venom. Sicheng let out a slight sigh, shooting his Father a look.  
  
   “Dad, this is my boyfriend,” Sicheng left a slight pause, allowing the word to register. Taeyong’s steel stare moved from Yuta and onto his own son – except Sicheng knew how to deal with it. He shot a look right back, as though he were telling his Dad to behave. Finishing his sentence, “Nakamoto Yuta.”  
  
   The light brown haired boy coughed slightly, before speaking with an air of confidence. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir,” before Yuta bowed. Taeyong simply watched Yuta’s figure bend down, and then back up again, eyes looking severely amused. The eldest let out a blood curdling chuckle.  
  
   “ _Yuta_ , huh. Alright. I’m glad you took your tongue out of my son’s throat long enough to tell me that.”  
  
   “ _Dad!_ ” Sicheng gasped. The 19 year old felt his eyes prick with tears, but he pursed his lips and held them back. Yuta’s hands clutched tighter onto Sicheng’s as the younger raised his voice. “I know your… your _views_ on me having a relationship aren’t exactly positive. And I apologize for the fact that the first impression you have of Yuta isn’t exactly… the best,” he whispered. Yet Sicheng regained his conviction. “But that’s not the way to treat my boyfriend who I care about very much!”  
  
   Sicheng’s voice came out more strained and higher pitched than usual. Taeyong looked from Sicheng, to Yuta, to Sicheng again, over and over for several seconds. Eventually, the mob boss let out a sigh. He cleared his throat, and brushed off his dinner jacket.  
  
   “Winko, you’re right.”  
  
   “Huh?” the 19 year old gasped slightly.  
  
   “I agree with you. Let’s… forget the first impressions. Where are my manners – my name is Lee Taeyong,” he gave a slight bow to Yuta. “It’s good to meet you… the _boyfriend_ of my son. I assume you watched the recital as well?” The 21 year old was still a concoction of pure terror, anger and shock. He carefully nodded in response to Taeyong’s question, his hand still tightly wrapped around Sicheng’s. _So tight,_ in fact, that Sicheng was worried his digits were bright purple due to blood loss. Taeyong simply put on a weak smile, and kept talking. “Sicheng was good, wasn’t he?”  
  
   Instantly, Yuta nodded. He turned his gaze to the side, making eye contact with Sicheng’s glossy ones. “He was the star of the show,” Yuta whispered, brushing his thumb over his boyfriend’s fingers comfortingly. The younger’s emotions were getting the better of him, and as Yuta was on his wavelength, it was all too obvious: the shift in his tone, the way he was standing, the clamminess of his hands. Even though one would expect Yuta to be the most uncomfortable in this situation, Sicheng was feeling _awful_. A nasty cocktail of guilt and awkwardness had brewed within him. Yuta and his Father just _didn’t_ mix well in his mind.  
  
   A few too many more awkward seconds passed, Yuta turning back to Taeyong. Once the oldest had composed himself, the winter haired man brushed a speck of dust off of his collar in one refined movement, before moving his cold eyes onto the pair of boys.  
  
   “Alright. Well, I have… some _business_ to attend to now, but Winko – _thank you_ for inviting me. I’m so very proud of you,” Taeyong smiled. The smile all but vanished when he laid his eyes on Yuta. “And Yuta, it was… it was good to meet you. Am I correct in thinking we’ll be seeing you again, sometime?”  
  
   There was a slight pause as Yuta turned to Sicheng. It was a look asking for _help_. So, to make up for all the times which Yuta had protected him, the 19 year old took a confident stance in front of his Father. Usually, the effects of his Dad’s intimidating aura wouldn’t work on him, but today, they seemed to be making Sicheng feel unusually fearful.  
  
   “Well, the Christmas holidays are coming up soon. If- if you want, you could stay over for a day?” Sicheng whispered, looking up into Yuta’s eyes. He quickly nodded, before turning to Taeyong and giving a brief smile.  
  
   “That sounds great,” Taeyong smirked. “I look forward to it. Johnny or Taeil will inform you of the details closer to the time, Winko.”  
  
   After that, the group’s goodbyes were charged, yet emotionally cold. Sicheng hugged his Father goodbye, and as soon as Taeyong was through the doorway, he quickly shut the door behind him. Yuta had walked to the other side of the room, letting out a deep sigh as he ran his hands through his hair. The 21 year old’s breathing was representing… fear? Relief? Regardless, Sicheng knew this next conversation was going to be a difficult one. His eyes had already welled up with tears, and his legs felt like jelly, both from the recital and from the nervousness of potentially having an argument with his boyfriend. It wasn’t a secret that Yuta was probably going to be mad that Sicheng had ‘forgot’ to tell him such an important piece of information.  
  
   Yuta let out a frustrated sigh. “So,” he said rather bitterly.  
  
   That was it. Sicheng thought he could handle it – he thought he could be adult about the situation. But it had taken one word, _literally one word_ , _not even a full sentence_ , to cause Sicheng’s entire emotional system to collapse. He couldn’t stand Yuta being mad at him. When Yuta turned around to look at the younger, Sicheng had his hand clamped over his mouth to prevent the sound of his sobbing from escaping. Tears were trickling down his face, and upon seeing this, any sort of argumentative aura that had been emanating from Yuta quickly dissipated. The 19 year old’s body was shaking slightly due to the tears, causing Yuta to run over to him. Taking Sicheng into his arms, the latter used gentle words and kind tones.  
  
   “Hey, _hey_ , what’s the matter?” Yuta whispered. “Sicheng? Sweetie?” he soothed, rubbing the younger’s back. In response, Sicheng clutched onto Yuta’s shirt, as though he was keeping the older in place – preventing him from running away. The tears were coming out faster now, such an emotional rollercoaster of a night sending Sicheng into a flurry. Carefully, Yuta guided Sicheng over to one of the walls, sitting them both down on the cold floor. Yuta put his back against the wall whilst Sicheng’s crying body curled up naturally next to him, face still on the older’s chest. “You’re okay, baby, it’s alright,” the older kindly purred as his hand rubbed his dongsaeng’s back. Eventually, after several minutes had passed of Sicheng doing nothing but cry into Yuta’s shirt (which was positively damp by this point), he began to try form words.  
  
   “A-Are you – you gonna leave?” Sicheng spluttered, voice thick with trepidation.  
  
   Yuta was instant in his response. “What? Why do you think I’d leave?”  
  
   “My D-Dad,” the younger whimpered, fists clenching still on Yuta’s shirt.  
  
   “Sichengie, if I was going to run away because of your Dad, don’t you think I would of done it by now? I already know what I’m getting into,” he chuckled softly. The 19 year old was still curled up against Yuta’s body, the shaking having subsided.  
  
   “But aren’t – aren’t you mad? Th-that I didn’t tell you?” the blonde boy whispered. He sniffled and sat up, wiping his tears from his cheeks.  
  
   Yuta paused. “I mean, I _was_ a bit. But… I dunno, Sicheng. I’m confused more than anything.”  
  
   The younger dried his eyes using his sleeve. He sat next to Yuta, moving off of his body and into a cross legged position. Yuta was still sat with his back to the wall, facing straight ahead, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  
  
   “You’re… confused?”  
  
   He nodded in response. “I just don’t know _why_ you didn’t want to tell me?” Yuta whispered, turning his gaze to his boyfriend.  
  
   “Because if I told you, then… what if you ran away? What if you left me…?”  
  
   Yuta let out a sigh. “Sicheng, don’t you get it? You’re _everything_ to me,” he moved over so he was kneeling before Sicheng, the younger looking down onto the ground. Except now he was looking down on their intertwined hands. “I’m – I’m _prepared_ to meet your Father, to have fancy dinners with him and be super respectful. Sure, it’s scary, but you’re worth every minute of it. I’m more than happy to meet Lee Taeyong if it means I get to be your boyfriend. But Sicheng – you need to _tell me_ about these kinda things, yeah? There needs to be communication about it, or else we’ll both just end up confused and…”  
  
   “Hyung, it’s fucking _scary_ ,” the younger sobbed. “I just… I can’t let my Father ruin our relationship. You’re too special to me,” Sicheng whispered, sniffling ever so slightly.  
  
   “Do you trust me, Sicheng?”  
  
   Sicheng looked up into Yuta’s hazel eyes.  
  
   “Of course I do.”  
  
   “Then can you trust me when I say I’m not going to leave you?”  
  
   Yuta’s finger carefully traced the underside of Sicheng’s chin, causing him to look up at the older with big glossy eyes. Ever so carefully, Sicheng nodded. He wasn’t enjoying this – he felt awful for having kept information away from his boyfriend. They were supposed to trust each other. And it wasn’t that Sicheng didn’t trust Yuta. Of course he did. It was just Sicheng’s mind had a habit of over thinking _everything_ , and right now, its biggest worry was that Yuta would leave him. Because if Yuta ever gave up on them, Sicheng knew he’d be clueless. He’d be lost. In what was only a few months, the 19 year old had grown such a dependency on the older. Yuta managed to make Sicheng laugh, made him feel good about himself. Made him feel good in _other_ ways. The 21 year old was a series of starts for Sicheng. First friend, first kiss, first relationship.  
  
   And Sicheng’s first _love_. The blonde boy didn’t really know the text book definition for love. Sicheng supposed there wasn’t one. He knew it was a feeling that two people shared, but that was about it. Sicheng knew he loved his Father, but that was a different kind of love, obviously. He’d never seen Taeyong with a partner, so the 19 year old had no one to base the concept of love off of.  
  
   That wasn’t _strictly_ true. He had Yuta.  
  
   If love was something other than what Sicheng felt for Yuta, then he didn’t want to know. Everything about Yuta made Sicheng feel that much better. The way Yuta could effortlessly make Sicheng smile. The way Yuta was nothing but accepting of Sicheng’s background. The way Yuta would always make sure Sicheng was comfortable no matter where they were – whether he was rearranging the pillows for the younger, or providing him with a chest to cry on (as demonstrated a few minutes ago). Yuta could inexplicably read Sicheng’s mood, protect him when he felt vulnerable, tease him when he was up for a joke. Sicheng _hoped_ it was love, because if so, then it was beyond anything he’d ever expected.  
  
   As Yuta leaned in, softly pressing their lips together, the blonde’s eyes fluttered shut. The kiss was refreshing, as though Sicheng had gained a new outlook on their relationship. An incredibly hard obstacle, Yuta meeting Taeyong for the first time, had been passed. And Yuta wasn’t gone, or regretting their relationship. It felt lovely, as Sicheng realised Yuta was true to his word. He wasn’t going to leave. Sicheng felt awful for withholding his Dad’s presence at the recital.  
  
   So, now that Sicheng was 100% sure Yuta was in this for the long run, he knew it was time to confess. Sicheng promised to Yuta that he was going to be honest. And it was simply wrong for the former to keep his true feelings locked away.  
  
   Looking into Yuta’s eyes, he slipped his fingers in between the 21 year old’s. Slowly, Sicheng let out a deep breath.  
  
   “I think I’m in love with you.”  
  
   _Fuck_! He said it! Sicheng watched as Yuta’s lips formed an ‘o’. The pause was too long. It felt crushing – oh _shit_. Suddenly, the younger felt as though he’d just thrown the whole relationship away with the wrong 7 words. What was he thinking? Sicheng began –  
  
   “You only think?” Yuta smirked, a glint in his eyes.  
  
   The boyfriends were still kneeling on the floor of the empty dressing room, hand in hand across from each other. Sicheng let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “No, I know.”  
  
   Yuta closed his eyes in relief, letting out a sigh of his own. When he opened them, Sicheng was looking at the older with doe eyes, a hint of anticipation for what’s to come.  
  
   “I love you too, Sichengie.”  
  
   Thankful for the fact that his trust hadn’t been misguided, Sicheng threw his arms around Yuta, the older’s laugh sending warm fuzzy feelings all through his body. Yuta tightened Sicheng into a hug, rolling onto his side and then onto his back, the younger laughing as he lay on top of his boyfriend’s body. Lovingly, Yuta moved a fleck of Sicheng’s hair out of his eyes from his position beneath him. They stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments, the occasional giggle escaping either one of their lips.  
  
   “So, are you busy tonight?” Yuta asked, spreading his legs slightly so Sicheng could get more comfortable on top of him. There wasn’t anything sexual about it, despite the position saying otherwise.  
  
   Sicheng bit his lip slightly before speaking. “ _Oh_! I’ve been invited to a party,” he giggled.  
  
   “Aw, I see how it is,” Yuta grinned. “My boyfriend’s now all _popular_ …”  
  
   “No!” Sicheng giggled, planting a kiss on Yuta’s cheek. “I didn’t really want to go unless you were coming as well.”  
  
   Yuta smiled. “I’m sure that can be arranged~” he smiled. The older’s hands kept rubbing all along the side of Sicheng’s body. “Whose party is it?”  
  
   “Ten hyung said she was in your year,” Sicheng wondered. “Her name’s _Irene_.”  
  
   The older gasped. When he sat up, Sicheng had to swivel around slightly so he was sat in his lap instead, legs on either side of Yuta’s body. “ _Fuck_ , really? Irene hosts really good parties. Like – _really_ good parties. You sure you wanna go?”  
  
   Sicheng nodded. “I wanna have a shower and get changed, though. I feel all grimy.”  
  
   “Yeah well, I need to change too,” Yuta laughed, looking down at the massive tear stain on his shirt.  
  
   “S-Sorry about that,” the younger whispered.  
  
   “I’m only kidding, baby,” Yuta smirked, getting up onto his feet. He offered Sicheng a hand, half-lifting half-helping the younger up as well. Wordlessly, the older stroked the other’s cheek, which was bright red from all the crying. “Do you feel better now?”  
  
   Tentatively, the younger nodded. Yuta took Sicheng’s hand in his, and they walked out of the dressing room together. There was still some activity throughout the hallways, yet considerably less than there had been 3 hours ago, prior to the start of the show. Sicheng’s voice was croaky as he whispered to the older. “Yeah. Sorry for crying in front of you.”  
  
   “Never apologize for that. I can handle it,” Yuta smiled, opening the fire exit door and holding it open for his dongsaeng. The cold night air quickly invaded their senses, both boys giving slight shudders as their breath became misty in the night before them.  
  
   “And… I really am sorry for not telling you about my Dad’s invitation, hyung,” Sicheng spoke ever so softly. “Not that I didn’t trust you before… it’s just… I was scared. And uncertain. But you’ve made me realise that I shouldn’t be. I just can’t help but feel awful for the way he treated you.”  
  
   The pair linked their hands together as they walked across a small lawn of grass over to the sidewalk. It wasn’t that late, only 9pm, yet it was already pitch black. The harsh white light from the street lights was shining on their figures as they walked beneath them.  
  
   “Don’t stress, chick. The only thing I care about is how I never wanna see you that upset ever again, okay?”  
  
   Scoffing to himself, Sicheng turned his head towards the older. “ _Chick_? Is that my new nickname now?”  
  
   “What? You don’t like it?”  
  
   “I mean… it’s _different_ …”  
  
   Yuta shook his head, smiling as he looked in front of him. “So? I think it’s cute. A _cute name for a cute chick_ ,” he raised his voice higher, cooing over his boyfriend. When the younger rolled his eyes, Yuta started to pester him and started attempting to pinch his cheek, at which point Sicheng started to laugh and bat his boyfriend’s fingers away from him.  
  
   “So we’re definitely going to this party tonight?” Sicheng smiled.  
  
   “If you’re up for it, sure.”  
  
   “I think it’ll be nice going to a party with my _boyfriend_ ,” the younger giggled. “Last time we went to a party together was, like… when we met.”  
  
   Yuta nodded. “You’re right – we should go to more parties together. Oh! And we can go out to clubs and stuff,” he smiled. In a smooth action, Yuta unlinked their hands and plucked his car keys out of his jacket pocket, unlocking his car that was parked on the side of the road. The pair both jumped in, doing their seat belts. As Sicheng began to sift through the pile of CDs that sat by the passenger seat, Yuta set the car off in the direction of his fraternity. The ride was pretty quick, seeing as the auditorium was much closer to Yuta’s place than Sicheng’s dorm was. Either way, in the time it had taken for Sicheng to finally settle on a CD to play, Yuta was already parking outside of the fraternity. Within a few minutes, they were both entering Yuta’s room.  
  
   “You wanna get ready first?” Yuta softly said, instantly throwing his jacket onto the bed, which still hadn’t been made from the morning. It was pretty obvious – the duvet was practically on the floor. Yuta liked to completely spread out when he was sleeping alone, Sicheng guessed. Whenever the older knew his boyfriend was coming over, he’d tidy his room up – yet as this was an unexpected visit, the room was pretty standard for Yuta. By the time Sicheng turned around from closing the door, Yuta was standing shirtless, about to take his belt off.  
  
   “ _Ah_! Hyung, I’m right here,” Sicheng blushed at the sudden sight of his boyfriend’s muscular physique.  
  
   What followed was a _loud_ laugh from Yuta. “Sicheng… you’ve literally seen me naked before. Remember when we had sex?”  
  
   “I know, I know, it’s just… it was so sudden!”  
  
   As Sicheng walked past Yuta, who was still laughing, he took a seat on his claimed side of the bed (nearest the window) and started taking his shoes off. “I’ll get changed in the bathroom if you want,” Yuta said with a softer edge this time.  
  
   “No, I’m just being stupid – you can get _naked_ in front of me, I don’t mind.”  
  
   “Hey if you’re not comfortable-“  
  
   “I am! I am comfortable around you, I promise,” Sicheng said, having taken his shoes off and getting back to his feet. As he walked over to his shirtless boyfriend, Sicheng wrapped his arms around Yuta’s neck. “I’d say if I wasn’t.”  
  
   Yuta gave him a quick peck on the lips, looking into Sicheng’s eyes for any sign of uncertainty. But when he didn’t find any, he whispered a soft ‘okay’. As Sicheng retracted himself from their position, he walked over to the dresser and opened one of the drawers. Since he was staying the night at Yuta’s more and more, he’d kept some clothes here just in case. As well as this, in the bathroom was a spare toothbrush, and a bottle of Sicheng’s favourite brand of shampoo.  
  
   _It was apricot scented_.  
  
   “What are you gonna wear?” Yuta said from the other side of the room. When Sicheng turned around, he was met with Yuta’s figure clothed in nothing but a pair of short, striped boxers. Since Yuta was facing the other way, looking through his bag for something, it dawned on Sicheng: he’d probably never admit it out loud, but Yuta had a really cute butt. Sicheng didn’t think he was particularly interested in Yuta’s rear, more so the front, but he could appreciate a good butt every now and then.  
  
   “I dunno. Probably just some jeans and a nice sweatshirt,” Sicheng wondered, retracting his gaze away from Yuta’s ass.  
  
   “You know – don’t take this the wrong way, but like… wouldn’t it be easier if… like, _all_ your clothes were at my place?”  
  
   Sicheng tilted his head in thought. “Well, then I’d have to commute every morning and night from here back to my dorm-“  
  
   “That’s not what I meant,” Yuta giggled. He approached Sicheng, wrapping his arms around the younger’s slim waist. It felt intimate yet familiar to feel Yuta’s bulge press into his upper thigh. “I meant… if your clothes were here _permanently_. Along… with you,” he whispered.  
  
   “Wait – so if I lived here? With you? _All_ the time?”  
  
   Yuta nodded.  
  
   A sly grin formed on Sicheng’s lips. “That sounds nice,” he whispered. “But what about Kun? Won’t he be lonely? And like, isn’t it against university rules or something?”  
  
   “You gotta pay some kind of extra rent to make up for the empty room,” Yuta shrugs. “And I’m sure Kun will appreciate it ‘cause he can have Ten over more often.”  
  
   “That’s true,” the younger wondered, swivelling around in Yuta’s arms. “I’d have to check with Kun, but… I’d _love_ it!”  
  
   Yuta let out a pleased ‘yay’, bouncing on his feet slightly. “We’re gonna be roommates! That’s so exciting,” he giggled. “I can make you breakfast in bed, and also, we can go on dates and I won’t have to drop you off at the end. It’ll be so much fun,” he smiled, kissing Sicheng’s cheek.  
  
   A flood of relief washed through Sicheng. He loved standing in Yuta’s arms, soft kisses being exchanged at random parts in the conversation – as though they couldn’t keep their lips off of each other. Despite feeling slightly bad about Kun, Sicheng knew he’d be okay. He had Ten, after all. For all Sicheng knew, they may even be moving into the fraternity as well, which would be nice! Regardless, the idea of living with Yuta kind of excited Sicheng. Instead of having it be Yuta’s room, it’d be _their_ room. But… maybe it was kind of anti-climactic, the whole idea of being roommates. Mostly because they already _felt_ like roommates already. Sicheng practically slept over at Yuta’s every other night by this point. But it’d be nice coming back to Yuta every day for certain, getting to go to sleep next to him and wake up the next day without having to worry about running back to the dorm to get his stuff for class.  
  
   It had been an incredibly emotional day, but Sicheng felt like a new person after all of it. He’d endured his biggest fear, and came out stronger. And now to celebrate, Yuta and Sicheng were getting ready for Irene’s party – something which was _surely_ going to be fun.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YUTA AND TAEYONG !!!! THEY FINALLY MET !!!! POOR SICHENG ..............  
> AND YUWIN FINALLY SAID 'I LOVE YOU' !!!! what an important chapter !! and what a mix of emotions for sicheng, poor thing
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter :) looking forward to the next one - expect some spice ! >:)
> 
> if you wanna talk to me, my platforms are @orbityuta on twitter, and george_uwu on curious cat !! i always respond to DMs , so if u ever wanna chat about literally ANYTHING im your guy <3
> 
> have a good rest of the week !! love ya'll

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!
> 
> i'm unsure of if every chapter will be this long, but if my motivation stays as it currently is, i'll definitley keep updating!!
> 
> here's my curious cat if you're interested! i never get any inboxes so if you send a question i'll probably answer it immeaditley!  
> https://curiouscat.me/george_uwu
> 
> thanks again for reading, and I hope you have a good day/afternoon/evening!


End file.
